Calling All Husbands!
*Update* We have completed the survey. Thank you to everyone who participated!
Hey, Sisters! I need you to help me engage a number of husbands (yours, some of your friends') for a survey I'd like to take. Over the next two Tuesday nights in our Houston Bible study, I will be teaching out of the Book of Proverbs on marriage and being wives. Through the years I've gained much unsolicited insight from the husbands I've heard from along the way so this time I'm asking for very focused input as I prepare for these two nights of study. The men who complete the survey do not necessarily have to be Christians since God calls us to be faithful wives to our husbands whether or not they share our faith. The only qualification is that each participant is a husband willing to answer some questions honestly and respectfully. In order to answer one of the questions sincerely, if he needs to tell me something that falls into a more intimate category, all I ask is that it be worded decently.
This part is really important: THESE SURVEYS WILL NOT EVER BE PUBLISHED AND ANY PARTICIPANT IDENTIFICATION WILL BE KEPT STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. I give you my word on that. Only Amanda and I will view the surveys. I will, however, share the overall results and the insights I gained and will no doubt share some of the quotes (anonymously, of course). I will also report on some things I learned here on the blog since I'm enlisting my Sistas to help me round up participants. (I'm grinning over how I already know it's going to drive you crazy not to see their answers. It would me, too!)
I wish this would go without saying but you never know who is out there: WOMEN, you are on the honor code NOT to fill out a survey. I don't want to hear what women would say if they were husbands. I'm laughing at my own self. Remember, this is for HUSBANDS ONLY.
Gentlemen, here are the 7 questions. Please answer honestly and succinctly so I can study each one. Thanks so much, guys! I have no doubt you will enrich these teachings profoundly.
1. How long have you been married?
2. Accepting that no marriage is perfect, would you say that, generally speaking, you are happily married?
3. Would your answer to the previous question surprise your wife?
4. What do you wish your wife knew about you but you are afraid to tell her?
5. What is the best part of having her as a wife?
6. What do you wish she'd do differently?
7. What ONE THING do you wish I'd share with wives from a husbands' point of view?
posted by Beth @ 9:40 AM
59 Comments
59 Comments:
I cannot wait til my sweet honey comes home from work so I can tell him about "his" assignment! heehee
nor can I wait to hear the insight you glean from this. I did a survey for a teaching I had to do, ..I asked some sweet older sisters, if they had the chance to raise your children over, what would you do the same and what would you do differently? The results were amazing and very helpful!
Blessings!
Teresa
Braden, TN
I have copied and pasted this into an email to my husband. I want him to be free to answer without my viewing if he wishes. I deeply welcome and appreciate any advice or insight on how to be a better, more Godly wife. My husband is a wonderful man and I am so unworthy to serve as his wife, but I am very honored too.
Beth,
I can't wait for the next few weeks. As Richard and I prepare to celebrate our 20th anniversary in June....I look back 5 years ago when our marriage was on the brink of divorce...but, thankfully God was on the brink of performing a miracle (not to mention a big ol teaching lesson for me)! I have already begun praying that the women who will be attending the next 2 weeks will receive an incredible word from God - to encourage them where they are - and motivate them to do whatever it takes to make their marriage a God honoring testimony to everyone around them! Love you!
Thanks for including us! I so miss your Tuesday night Bible Study and this helps me feel like I am a part of it! Blessings to you!!
I forwarded it to the man...now, will we get to know on this blog some of what you told the Houston Bible study???
I'm so excited...my husband just emailed me and said he sent in his survey already! I wish I could be a fly on your computer screen, Beth!
A question for the sistas...have any of your Bible study groups included the hubbys in one of Beth's studies? I understand they're geared to us ladies but would LOVE for my man to experience one of her studies. He'd absolutely eat it up! Any insight or suggestions? Love ya all!
Kelli in Ohio
Oh, Beth, why do you do this to us??? Don't you know we wish we could ALL be in Houston with you on Tuesday nights????
My man will participate...
Blessings,
Dori
Oh, my goodness. Can you please share the results with your bloggity sista's who can't be at your Tuesday night study!!! I would love to hear the results!
Okay, I'm not married but I printed the request, copied it, and I will pass it out to the men at church tonight! I bet some of them will be willing to help you out!
I got my hubby to answer the questions and you are right--it is making me nuts not being able to read his responses. Maybe you could let us know on the blog the general responses. I'd be sure be interested to see how husbands answered in general.
Terry
The interesting thing is...I could ask my husband these questions and he would probably give me the answers straight to my face. It's odd that it would need to be so secretive. Are we in the minority?
Okay, Beth...sent it to my hubby who said, "Of course, anything for Beth!"
Will this no-homework proverbs study from this semester be made available for us(those outside of Houston)? Especially with Beth teaching on what proverbs says to wives! I am looking forward to seeing you in SC, Beth!! Many blessings!
nizozfoHey Ms. Beth,
Just a word to let you know I'm praying for you as you prepare for this weekend in Shreveport.I pray that He will use you in such a mighty way, each person will leave with a fresh annointing of God. I was at the conference at Oak Cliff Fellowship last year. After a huge mix up we thought we were not able to get tickets, but the lady I was going with said, "If God wants us to go, He will provide the tickets and a front row seat." Guess what, we had tickets for Saturday only and we sat on the FRONT ROW! Wow God is so good. Who knows I may be on the front row again. See you Friday & Satuday.
What I would give to see my husband's answer to these questions! Since I don't live in Houston, I hope there is someway to hear this teaching someday. Bless you Beth!
My husband is going to take part in the survey. I wish I were a little bird sitting on his shoulder as he types. I am quite curious about his answer to a couple of the questions. I have no fear in what he will say just quite curious!!! I will look forward to what you learn from all the surveys.
Bless you as you seek His face today,
Mary W
Arkansas
Hi ladies,
My understanding is that Beth does plan on sharing some of these insights with us on the blog. And they are planning on making the sessions from the Wising Up study available to the public in the future. I'm not sure when it will be or exactly what form(s) it will take, but it will happen eventually. I hope that helps!
I want to go ask him these questions myself. I want to know!
It's 8:30 pm in California. my husband just finished his survey.
Now I know what men must feel like waiting for the delivery of our babies. :) Please share the results with us soon Dear Beth!!
Did you have Keith do the survey too??? How about Curtis?
with " Heaven Bound" blessings,
Kim Safina ~ Exeter, CA.
OK, I know my Chris will love to take the survey...tonight he's gone to bed early (been a long past 4 days!).
How do you know we won't school them on what to say?? Hee hee! Just kidding! My sweetheart of almost 16 years will most certainly be completely honest and say that with much hard work (and about 6 Family Life Marriage conferences) we are good and a work in progress.
I am sooooo praying for the Shreveport conference. I know that many,many that I love and count as family in Christ will be there. I want to see them free and catching an unabashed love for Jesus, nothing held back. So, I'm praying for you, sweet Beth, that God will make you His microphone.
Love in Him,
Holly
To Kelli in Ohio...
Yes, we have included men in our Tuesday night studies of about 50 women. I have three brave husbands who regularly attend and are learning alongside their wives. I know for a fact that they wouldn't trade this "bonding" with their wives for anything! Occasionally, if I feel one of the studies would particularly fit well with our entire congregation, I invite them on Sunday to come and partake on Tuesday night. The response has been overwhelming, especially from the men.
I had my man do his survey tonight, and he was more than happy to share his answers with me. Humbling for me and yet familiar territory for us as we have walked this thing through over the course of ten years. My husband became the earthly kinsman redeemer for myself and my two sons and restored to us a portion of God's grace that I had never known.
On the morning of our wedding, my father and I went for a walk, and he told me something I have clung to during the most difficult of times...
"By marrying Billy today, you are giving your sons their best opportunity for seeing how a man should love a woman."
His words ring true in my heart, and I know that my sons have grown into Godly young men because of the faithful love of their step-father toward their mother.
And that love leads that man every Tuesday evening to come to Bible study, help me set up the fellowship hall, and "man" the soundboard for our time together. He even built me a closet in our house that he affectionately named the "Beth Moore" closet because it houses all her materials that I have purchased over the years.
Anyone else out there have a Beth Moore closet? Tell me your story...
peace for the journey~elaine
Hey girls - they are taping the study for publication later as Amanda said - so, get together and purchase the set (or download it if Lifeway does it that way!) when Lifeway releases it for your churches/study groups and do the entire Proverbs study - join the Houston girls so we can be the wisest wives on both sides of the Mississippi! It has been awesome!
I wonder if my dad will fill this out - I will send it to him. :-)
Ok ,This almost 50 year old has learn to "blog" and now you want me to "cut and paste". OK, I'll try! By the way, I saw Travis on the street in S.F.,shouted out his name, and scared him half to death.He actually jumped and put his hand over his heart and said,"You scared me!" This ofcorse, was the highlight of my trip! Tomorrow I'll be sharing with my Pastor's wives group about the conference.I cherish my notes.Thank you for the heartfelt message. It is still speaking to me.Our God is so Big!
This was so not fun for me! My husband answered the questions and I am feeling a little left out--he wouldn't tell me one thing!
I've emailed this to my husband, and I'm pretty certain I know what he'll say. ;)
I just noticed on the LP website that Melissa is doing her Master's in Biblical Exegesis. I have to admit, I am SOOO jealous.
What a stay-at-home mother of 3 would do with a Master's in BE, I do not know. But a woman can dream, can't she??
Please, more Greek Beth!! It's incredible how much the Word becomes that much more alive when you look at the words in their original language! English is so, so, BORING!
ευλογία (Blessings!)
Cara
Hi Beth and Amanda!
I just sent it to my husband and you are right, it will drive me crazy not seeing the response. I am BEGGING you to share any insight you can share with us on how we can be better wives! I'd give anything to be a part of your tuesday night bible study and especially in these next couple of weeks since I am in need of advice from you ...who I respect SO much! Thank you in advance!!!
-Love, Angie from Michigan
I cannot wait for my husband to do the survey. Can I just have a peek, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz!
I will see you this weekend in Shreveport. I am praying for a Mighty Fresh Word to fall on us ladies. Lifting you up!
Glory!
Lynda ~ Little Rock
Hi Beth! Asked my hubby to participate and he emailed himself the questions at work - that way he can email them to you and I will have NO way to know his answers! Smart guy he is! Well, I am so looking forward to hearing the answers. You doing this reminds me of the book "For Women Only" and I would just LOVE to know how the answers compare!!! Love you and am praying for the upcoming study!
rachel, KS
I think my hubby sent in his survey.. but on your blog...before he realized where to really send it....
Lord have mercy let's not post it...
he'll never participate again...
I promised him I wouldn't look..
This should be a great thing....
I am reading For Women Only by
Shaunti Feldhahn and I am learning a lot...I thought I new it all about men!!! NOT...
Blessings Mrs Beth
Connie
I, too, copied these to an email and sent them to my husband who is out of town this week! We talked last night on the phone and he told me he had "sent the email for Beth" and said, "That was easy!" We have been married almost 3 years (April) and we have a wonderful relationship and are "still on the honeymoon" and promised each other we would always be!! hehehe! We are crazy about each other and love each other more and more each day! In fact, when I say, "I love you" to him, he always replies, "I love you more!" I am such a blessed wife to have a precious, sweet husband that loves me like he does!! Praise the Lord for Godly Christian husbands!
Beth, Your "home girls" look forward to the study next week and just wished everyone could be there for these couple of weeks on this wife study! Praying for you as you prepare! We know we will be blessed by your Godly insight! We love you!
-Gena (Houston)
Kelli in Ohio,
My in laws have done Daniel with their Wednesday night study group. There were 6 couples invloved. Everyone loved it and learned a lot. They are planning on doing another one of her studies together (Patriarchs, I think). The men absolutely loved it and agreed with their wives, that Mrs. Moore teaches in a way that no man ever could.
I sent the link to my hubby this morning on IM and he filled had it out with in 5 min. I think he even had fun doing it. I love reading things on how to make my marriage better and how to compliment my hubby. Can't wait to read the info that is collected!
Marie
Old Hickory, TN
ms. amanda every time you post a comment and your picture shows up beside it, it just makes me smile. what a beautiful girl you are :)
have a great day!
Oh Man...My husband won't share with me what he wrote. DANG! :)
I too copied and pasted and emailed it to my husband at work...he works out of town. When I called him last night, he said he was filling out the survey and getting ready to send it in. It is so funny because he didn't even question why I would ask him to do this! On Sunday, when he was home, we were doing some homework for a marriage home group that we attend, and he agreed to start doing Believing God with me and our kids. I am so excited about that! We will be having our 20th anniversary in July, and I am totally amazed that God has brought us this far...I never knew or even believed when we started that we would make it two years...let alone twenty!!! I give all the praise to our Father for that miracle, who has taken us out of the pit more than once...
Thank you Beth for asking our husbands to participate in something we all are proud and excited to have them do...
I sent the website to my dear husband who will gladly participate he tells me. I'm thinking he will share his answers with me when he comes home without solicitation but if he doesn't, that's fine too! After 37 years, there is still some mystique!!
Can't wait to hear the results you are able to share.
Love you Moore girls!
Margaret
OOPS, I read my husbands responses when I e-mailed and posted them here!
I messed up my homework assignment :-)
But Mark was honest and you will see why. We are totally honest about everything with each other now after going through what we did and coming out of it with only GOD's grace, mercy and love!
Hope you can still use mine!
Praying for you this weekend and for Tuesday.
Love and Blessings,
HIS daughter,
Teri
qaHey Ladies,
I read all these reponses of Godly Christian Husbands and my heart aches. Cause My prayer is for my Husband to get saved and Live for Christ.
It is hard to live the Proverbs Wife when you are so wounded and don't know how to be one. I pray that the Lord shows me the way to go cause this sista is lost. Most of the time when we try to be honest with each other it turns in to world war three.
I want to ask Him to do the survey but I will leave it up to the Lord to prompt Him to do it cause me nagging Him does not help.
I know now why the Lord tells you not to be unequally Yoked with Unbeleivers!
I love ya'll
Your Sister Sue-La.
ynvcgBeth I am going crazy. My hubby and I have been seprated for two years. On a tuesday night two years ago I started my first Beth moore study Beliving God.(which changed everything about me) that wednesday my husband left. He left me and God. For whatever reason neither of us has follwed thru on the divorce. Then a few months ago I was ready too, until you wrote something on this bolg that made me question that choice. Today I felt ready again, I am so weary of this fight. Now you have this survey posted, I am not asking him to answer it but asking myself what he'd say if i asked him those questions two years ago. You seem so important in this struggle for me, in a sense you were there for the start of it all. I think you are going to change lives with your study here!! What to do what to do
love ya
Lori
OH MY GOSH!!! Hee Hee, I have a Beth Moore closet to Elaine ( Peace for the Journey) Well really its my whole bedroom and then some.I've collected every book,most single cd's,cd series and Bible studies.Diane at Living Proof even knows me by name when I call and place an order. I have so many notes from Beth's teaching that I had to spend hours organizing them and I still have more to do.After I get them all organized I'm going to type them out and put them into word on my computer, then I will print them out and put them into binders.
My husband and my son also do her studies. They both think she is a great teacher.My son loves Biblical Exegesis.He is a self taught student. Very Smart if I must say so.Well i'm going to go and copy and paste now so I can e-mail to both my husband and my son's wife.
Just a little side note ~ If anyone has or knows someone who has tickets for the Deeper Still Event in Nashville please let me know.
Thank you so much Amanda and Beth for this blog, I just love it.
Joanna in Tennessee
I just tried to post and my computer shut down so excuse if this is a duplicate.
My husband said he completed the survey this morning and I am so glad to hear you will share the results with us.
In answer to the question about whether husbands attend the Beth Moore studies - yes, yes, yes! My husband has previewed the video segments with me over the years as i have facilitated, but he and a friend's husband actually attended the Daniel study this past Fall and they both loved it! As a matter of fact, on my Valentine's Day card this year, he wrote "this has been the ride of our lives!" which is a direct quote from the lead ins to each of the Daniel video sessions.
I love this blog!!!! It's great and the Moore girls and guys are great!
Love,
Sista Dianne
Sorry ladies but my man read his answers out loud as he was filling out the survey. :) He has to talk as he types. We did get into some good discussion about the questions. He wrote to Beth that I am like "Chicken little" the sky is always falling if our relationship isn't perfect after 4 years. Dude keeps it honest...it cracked me up. Oh well!
-jenny williams, pelham al
I sent the link to my husband and my pastor as well. I guaranteed them that thousands of women would hear their voices! I asked them to forward it to any husband they knew who would want to participate (I thought the request would be better coming from another man) I will not ask either of them when/if/how they responded. I don't want to place any pressure on them. (I'm working on eliminating my razor sharp manipulation tatics)! Knowing my husband, he may never tell me if he ever completed the survey. That's ok with me. I am very interested in the responses as a whole. I love researching stuff like this. How do our husbands really see us? Not every answer will feel good, but I would like to learn from them. I so want to be a Godly wife. I have such a long way to go. Thank you, Beth, for guiding women according to Godly principles rather than according to "our rights"!
Becky, TN
This is off topic (but I did email the survey to my husband, but don't know if he answered it yet or not), but I'm so excited to be going to Bossier tomorrow! It was touch and go if I was going to be able to go and God came through, so I must be going to learn something, huh? I had to cancel on the Tyler simulcast and thought it was my "year without Beth" because I also had to cancel a bible study at our church. So I was thrilled to learn I would be able to go. Of course, this blog has been great, so if it had not worked out, all was not lost. :) Looking for an awesome word from God!
Amy
Praying for you Sue and Lori...our God is a BIG God, as Beth often says. He loves you so much. Praying for His very best to you both in your marriages! He is good and faithful and ABLE.
Love,
Holly
I recently found myself wishing LPM would do a video teaching series on marriage - with practical examples of what God called Beth and Keith to do to restore their marriage.
I got excited when I saw the survey, but then was disappointed it was limited to Houston.
PLEASE consider broadening the audience....some of us are treading as fast as we can in marriage mud out here..!!
I know Living Proof Ministries' focus is to minister to women...but perhaps this could be a couples study...with Beth and Keith?
I did a "men only" evening Bible Study of Beth's on DAVID and they did their homework and participated in discussion really well. Most had wives who had already done several of Beth's studies, and they were curious.
I have bought all of the studies myself so that I can do them over at any time, and I take LOTS of notes when I go to a conference. Does that mean I have a "Beth closet" too? I have just about memorized everything she has ever said and my highest compliment is when I speak locally and someone says I act just like Beth Moore with so much enthusiasm and grand hand motions and eyeball rolling.
I feel a real kindred spirit to you, sweet Beth! My husband just hollered to me from his computer room that he just emailed his survey. YAY !
I cut and pasted it (well, a condensed version of the instructions...he doesnt like to read! LOL!) in an email to my husband at work so he can send it from there. I dont know if he will fill it out or not. I'll leave that in God's hands.
I just completed the survey, at first I though "OK honey I fill it out" but after I started, I found that I enjoyed sharing about how I feel about our marriage. My wife is a Blessing and I love that fact that this gave us "an opportunity" to talk! Us guys need the door to be propped open sometimes!
Shine On!
Bill
I am really excited to learn the out come of what all the husbands said. My hubby was more than happy to answer all of Beth's questions.
Beth,
I emailed your survery to my husband. He is away on a mission trip in Americus Georgia but will return Saturday night. He and a group of people from our church are helping clean up after tornadoes swept through a few weeks ago.
Thanks for all you do and the encouragement you send our way. I have learned so much from you and pray that God will continue to bless you with wisdom and discernment. See you in Columbia SC next month!!
Sarah
Georgia
I just emailed this to my husband and I know he will be a willing participant- He loves Beth's studies almost as much as I do! I can't wait to see the end result! To Kelli in Ohio-Yes!Get the hubby's in there- I know mine was tired of me coming home& talking his head off. I think doing the studies together keeps us on the "same spiritual page". Plus, I just love the wisdom and insight all the men in the study give us. I tell them that I am just the facilitator and I don't claim to have authority over them- I am just there to learn God's Word and so are they. By braving the emotional, sometimes hormonal and very intense Spirit filled room with a bunch of women, my husband and these men have earned my utmost respect and love. There is something about a man that is on fire for the Lord, and doesn't care about who knows it. Blessings-
So, this is a funny story:
So, I am not married. Just in college, sweet times! But, I figured I would send it to my dad and my 2 best friends that are newlyweds. I really wanted my dad to do it, because my mom goes on Tuesdays. Anyway, I got a reply from my dad, only thinking it was just a "hello" sort of email, when I opened it, it was def. his answers to all the question. He sent it to me and you. Mind you, it's nothing I haven't already heard from him, but I just chuckled. Because, this means, in all reality, he just filled out the survey without reading anything else. Oh, I love him! Glad to know you're getting good responses! :)
Off to bed I go......
Recommendation - I bought my own copy of For Women Only to see what it said about "us". I greatly enjoyed reading it and I was really pleased to find it at least 85% accurate with regard to men in general. In fact it helped clarify for me things I knew about myself in addition to things I felt or thought but didn't know how to express. Also finished For Men Only and have completed 5 of Beth's studies, attended one LPL event and a simulcast so far. Blessings to you ladies seeking God's loving face and character from the husband to the best of you (Julie girl I adore you, your love for our Lord and life of faith inspire me) !!
I love the way you are able to write down in words EXACTLY what is probably going through our minds as we read your BLOG...for example, the urge in every woman to fill out your survey "in the name of our husbands, just wanting to help our lovely Beth out, thinking that our men will never actually take the time to answer the questions, or at least not answer them correctly." :)
I sent it to my man and he (too gleefully, I might add) filled it out and sent it back. He stated firmly that he won't share his answers with me. But we're always looking for ways to communicate and the survey questions might be a way to do that. Thanks for loving us so much, Beth! -Susan
I have only been introduced to Beth in the last year - but I already have a Beth Moore bookshelf! I am working on a closet sized collection!
Blessings to all you sistas!
For Teresa in Braden, TN- any chance you could share the insight you gained from the "older women" you asked about raising their kids? I'd love to know!!!
Ashley
Nashville, TN
I mailed the survey to my husband at work, so I have no idea if he did it or not.
BUT... I'm so grateful God has given me a man who not only listens to Beth with me [I got some of the Life Today videos], but says, "Let's watch some Beth." He even responds right along with the group. Thank you, Jesus, for this wonderful trait in my man!
I just had to share that praise with you, Beth! :)
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