So Long Insecurity Week Four!
So Long Insecurity Discussion from LPV on Vimeo.
Hey, Girls! How are you sweet things? You newbies well surpassed the 100 mark on our last post. Way to go! Now, keep it up! God willing, we're walking another week closer to waving a happy good-bye to insecurity. "KB" posted a comment last night saying, "Did anybody see Jessica Simpson on Oprah and could you believe how much it sounded like what we're studying??" Yes, I saw it and I thought exactly the same thing. (She was talking about how she was chastised in Hollywood and the tabloids for being a full size 4.) It was this whole beauty around the world thing and it occurred to me that our female insecurity epidemic obviously isn't limited to the West.
I read countless responses to the questions raised in Week Three and held a number of your stories close to my heart. Some of you may have been shocked by what others in our community have endured but I've been in women's ministry way too long to anticipate less. The common ground does not, however, diminish our compassion. We can't let it. It still hurts to tell. And hurts to read. Epidemic insecurity needs to lose its mystery for us to find our liberty. As you can see, many of us earned the right to this battle but those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole.
We have the God-given right to be secure.
In many ways, we qualify as a microcosm of almost any community of women you could find in this culture. You just can't make it into adulthood on Planet Earth without getting pretty beat up somewhere along the way. Look at it like this: the enemy of our souls wanted more out of those hits than he got or we wouldn't be here trudging this path toward wholeness together. Many of you are marvels. Others are pure miracles. Praise God, there is healing for all of us. AND, praise God, there is also meaning.
If you're able, please watch the video greeting I included in this post. It's a rough cut if you'll ever see one and very impromptu (I decided to do it that morning while I was putting on my mascara, thinking about you). But it comes to you with much love and desire to see you free in Christ. I want you to get the best possible benefit out of this journey. God is so able and so willing. Hang with it here. We are taking the turn toward solutions in a very short time. We've got one whopper of a chapter to read before then, however. Your reading assignment this week will be CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT. Chapter Eight will be a welcome relief and will introduce one of the major components in the acquisition of soul-deep security. But let's talk about Chapter Seven first.
You've heard of the house that Jack built. Chapter Seven is the chapter that YOU built. This blog community (that we regulars around here call Siestaville) makes its mark in multiple places over the course of the book but this chapter is entirely your input. Those of you who were with us a little over a year ago will perhaps remember it well. I threw out a question - Has insecurity ever made a fool of you? - and, boy, did I get some answers. Some of you more tenderhearted sisters will be sorely tempted to skip or skim over this chapter because it's hard to read at times but, unless you're hyper-sensitive or feeling too pathetic already (we've got to break out of that), try to read the whole thing. Get started post haste because it's the lengthiest chapter in the book. It's meant to hammer a point till you're practically screaming:
THAT'S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I'M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT.
As long as you come to that conclusion, you don't have to read the whole chapter if it's above your threshold. I hope most of you will read every page of it but, if you're having a really rough week, you can have a hall pass on the long version. Just flip through various section headings and read the ones that resonate most. And always read the wrap-up of any chapter. In an ideal world, all we'd ever need is positive motivation. The truth is, sometimes a little negative motivation mixed into the positive is exactly what it takes to shake us up enough to deal. In Chapter Seven, you're going to get a glimpse of what happens when insecurity deals with us instead of us dealing with our insecurity. Hopefully the point will be made and we can move on. Then we can dive our scalded souls into some healing waters in the coming chapters. I promise relief is coming. We will still have plenty of issues to grapple with in future chapters but new responses will begin to shape up shortly and fresh God-given strength is on its way. We are not wimps, Girls. Let's rise up.
OK, here are your questions for this week. Since I'm giving you four this time around you're welcome, if you prefer, to pick two of them to answer in your comment:
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
2. (If you're choosing only two, please include this one.) Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity. (We're not looking for right answers. We're looking for YOUR answers. Don't copy off your fellow sojourners' papers on this one. Grin.) So that you don't get your numbers confused here, list your 3 reasons under A.B.&C.
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
You guys are doing a fabulous job with this. I am so proud of you for sticking with it! Your extra effort will not be in vain. May God meet you in these pages.
You are loved here!
posted by Beth @ 7:00 AM
785 Comments
785 Comments:
Beth, you are so much fun! I loved your quote from your grandmother,"Come on over heeya." (I had no idea how to spell that phonetically). Just last night my husband's twin aunts celebrated their 83rd BD. We were reminiscing over their dad--my husband's granddad--and how he used to use that exact same "expression" to shew rowdy kids out of the house. He would say,"Get on outa heeya!" He was from the border area of TN and Alabama. Don't worry. I'll post answers later. I just felt like a visit :)
Appreciated the pep talk, too.
Heal on, Jesus. Heal on.
Cindy
Married
50's
Barbados
That was such a great word in the video. I think we rush through our spiritual food like we rush through a meal at a fast food restaurant. We needed that advice to slow down and let God do the work in us that He wants to do! Thank you!
Thanks Beth for the video, I have been feeling so "raw" and "opened" I had seriously thought about stopping as I started chapter 7. The pain from the past is so deep, that I have been physically sick reliving it. However, I know moving on without "dealing" has not helped me over the last 30 years. I am so ready for the "beating up on myself" and trying so hard "to please everyone" to stop. I am also ready, oh so ready to stop believing the devil's lies about "how" God loves me. With that said, onward I go, to once and for all give up this insecurity. I want to be free!
1. All of Chapter 7 hit home with me! Each of those testimonies could have been my very own! My insecurities have made a fool of me way too many times to even begin to list them but, suffice it to say, I was each of those women!! Ouch!
2. My top three is more like a top 10 but the most important reasons I need to deal with my insecurities now are:
My Daughter who is three!! I DO NOT want to be a model of insecurity for her!
Next would be for ME so I can have the carefree, loving relationship with not only the people around me but, most importantly, with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!
Lastly, to be so secure in my relationship with Christ that I can share Him with others and use my journey as a prime example of how having Jesus in your life CAN and WILL change you for the better!!
3. WOW, a recent trigger is still very raw in my life still because it happened over the weekend when I witnessed my husband (who was drunk) hit on other women in front of me! I wanted to hide in a dark corner and die! He ignored me the entire night and I do not drink so I remember it all even if he does not! In fact, I am crying as I type this because the emotion I feel is so very raw and fresh in my mind!! His actions hit the bulls eye of my heart dead center and now I cannot get it out of my mind so much to the point that I have panic attacks daily because of it!
Did it get a rise out of me? You bet!! I was angry and I let him know it in no uncertain terms!! I was mean to him! NO, I was hateful to him in front of total strangers!
4. To me dignity is being able to handle a BAD situation with grace and poise so that when you look back you can say that you were composed and that the situation DID NOT get the best of you.
Jo
Mattoon, IL
40's
Married
Dear Beth,
Such a timely "talkin' to." I'll come back later to do my assignment but a thought crossed my mind during the chat & I wonder if other Siestas can relate to this one? Because we Siestas adore the many in-depth Bible studies you've written, I wonder if our tendency (I know mine is) is to rush out and start the next study because well...they're just plain good.
I've decided to pull back the reigns & go at a much slower pace & I wasn't quite sure why but your video put voice to the "why." For example, I finished 'Breaking Free' a couple weeks ago & have since started 'LBY' & now reading 'SLI' at the same time. All good stuff but if I'm not careful, the truths may be quickly forgotten because I'm trying to learn so much at the same time.
I decided while reading SLI, to put 'LBY' on hold and in my leisure, I'm reviewing 'Breaking Free' so I make sure I've..."Broken Free!" Like you said, we (I), need to take action & let the Word of God sink in so we not only believe it but we SAY IT, USE IT, CLAIM VICTORY WITH IT.
Thanks for loving us so,
Rockin' My Freedom (scripture by scripture)
30's/Single
Orange County, CA
I'm so happy that I can finally join in - the ONLY bookstore in my small town sold out quickly and then had an order of TWO arriving a week ago Tuesday. My dear mother sent me a copy via Amazon and I've just completed chapter 1 - already resonating and I WILL catch up this week.
Thank you!
thanks for the encouragement, i was debating on coming back..and honestly i laid my book down after that comment..i know she didn't mean it to hurt anyone..thats just how ruthless this enemy is, and why i am determined to break free from this hold of insecurity.
lots of reading to do to catch up, back after i get on my face..and read some more..
This is my first time commenting.
This has been the most difficult season of my life.
I wouldn't have ever called myself insecure...but I do now.
I could have written at least one of the stories in chapter 7 word for word.
My struggle this season has been with my husband's addiction to pornography but my eyes are open to the fact that this season and every other season the depth of the struggles all have this "root" of insecurity in them.
I wonder if I'm really posting this comment anonymously to protect my husband...or if it is my insecurity ...again.
I'm ready for healing. Not only for myself but for the glory of His name.
Jennifer
36
married, Ohio
1. When I read the caption, "Insecurity can make you look like an idiot in female relationships" I said aloud, "Yes... hooray I'm not alone!" I have one friend I am very insecure with. Don't ask me what happens to me when I'm around her, but I start stuttering, tripping, spill my pop, feel like I'm saying all the wrong things - just looking like an idiot! When I am insecure, I do act like an idiot, and I hate that. (Though I see this in me around men and women alike when I am insecure)
2. A) I want to model security for my children.
B) I am tired of the idiot hold insecurity has on me. When I am insecure, I act like one. (I stutter, feel like all I say is dumb, etc)
C) I don't want insecurity to hold me back from operating in the fullest to who God has created and called me to be.
3. I am looking to reenter the workforce after staying home for 11 years to raise my children, and I thought if I called my old boss she'd be glad to hear from me and welcome me back. Instead she was cold, indifferent, and did not offer me to return. I am sad to say it did trigger insecurity and I battled with rejection and questioned myself...
4. Dignity means worthy of respect and high esteem; something God gave to me... That was revelutionary to me. I have dignity because God crowned me with it.
Good Morning dear Sister in Christ and thank you for the video addition. ( I just skimmed my answers, my goodness I was "long winded", please feel free to delete such a long rambling post. I promise I will NOT be INSECURE if this post is toooo long to post- it was a great exercise to answer the questions).
1. Most of the chapter hit home. Insecurity gnaws at most parts of my life. I have more strength and dignity in some areas more than others. I am "worn out" trying to hold up the image of a strong dignified image as my life reveals yet one more wounded area that may destroy me financially. My personal "resources" are depleted and the reality of my husband's woundedness and insecurity are exposed and I have to take a look at his "weak spots" as I deal with my insecurities . Very interesting that I married someone I thought would take care of the insecure part of my life- but it appears I chose someone with a greater depth of insecurity than I experience- he just had a more well developed "mask"-
2. Reasons to complete dealing with insecurity
-My efforts have failed and quoting your book " I feel overexposed, FOOLISH and I have lost my dignity - this is probably not apparent to the outside world
-I am old and worn out and feel like I have "missed" my life and that I may be paying the price for my choices and do not know if God will do the "impossible" for my family members and me- this journey started over 12 years ago.
-I would like to know God's purpose and direction in my life and to experience the abundant life that Jesus came to give us.
3. Triggers:
a. Loneliness
b. Financial insecurity which has not been resolved for over 4 years-I have no confidence in my husband and the reality it brutal
c. Hopelessness
d. Overeating
e. Aging and comparing myself to
attractive women who appear to have good marriages, financial security,fulfilling lives
f. Young adult children's struggles
g. Lack of confidence in my husband and realizing I got myself into a marriage with someone who cannot love and share due to a deep woundedness that I overlooked
h. Realizing the abundant life has been stolen from my lineage and what it will take for God to clean out the woundedness- how much more pain will I experience in the healing process? Will God allow me to witness the healing and experience an abundant life in the "land of the living"?
4. Dignity: For me, it is to move forward without a "victim" mentality, blessing and forgiving all who have harmed me and forgiving myself where I have "missed the mark" and to continue to ask my God to give me a hope and a future- To experience myself and my life as the person God designed me to be in this brief life. I pray to witness my children free and released from the negative ego driven generational issues (false idols) and engaging in life as God designed for them.
what happened? I was all fired up and then we made a trip to see my daughter across the country and I stopped reading the book, to busy, to tired ???
Now I am so far behind and feeling so down. I am a painter and couldn't even get through the first painting startup without wanting to cry...this is happening to often lately.
What do I do, motor through all the chapters and try to catch up...I don't don't know? Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't even want to celebrate. I need prayer!
Jenilee
20's
Single
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with insecurity.
A. My anxiety over recent circumstances is taking over and my health is starting to be affected. I'm exhausted.
B. Preventing true healing and moving on.
C. So I can live out the plans God has for me...ones to prosper me and not to harm me.
3. Recent triggers: loss of relationship, feelings of rejection.
3)This week, I was offered the opportunity to work with a personal trainer to help me get in shape. I am significantly overweight, and should be thrilled by this FREE offer, but instead, I got really emotional and obstinate and everything inside of me rebelled against the idea. As I drove to the grocery store with my new shopping list last night, I was mulling over my very strange response. Why in the world would I not want to shed the very unhealthy weight I carry? Suddenly I realized, it's like a shield for me. It "protects" me. When people ignore me, men don't ask me out, or family members are critical of me, I can quickly point to obesity rather than examine any other part of me that might be unattractive. It's my own fault, my own choice, something I control. BUT, the further I walk through this journey out of insecurity, the more I recognize,
2a) I do not have to lug this particular "shield" around any more.
2b) I don't need it to "protect" me. It hasn't done a very good job anyway.
2c) I don't need it to define me. My weight really isn't who I am.
4) Dignity is the opportunity to walk confidently through life, not buoyed by anything other than my secure identity in my beautiful Savior and his all-consuming love for me.
Beth, I forgot to list one of my greatest areas of insecurity. It is when it appears God is "holding out" or is not answering my heart felt prayers. Thank you, 60's, married
Nicci
Waterloo, Belgium
34, married, mother of 3
1. Many things resonated with me from my past, but in my current life: "Insecurity can cause a mom to be overcontrolling or just generally out of control". Though none of the examples fit my life exactly, that line above defines the type of mother I have been most of the last 7 years I've been a mother.
2. Top 3 Reasons:
A. I'm helping to raise 3 children (2 of them girls) and finding that I don't have the convictions to stand up for what I believe in and be truly authentic in every situation. I can be authentic when I know I'm surrounded by Christians, but I find myself editing my speech and almost performing when I am unsure of the beliefs of others I'm around. Not only do I feel like a fake, but I'm teaching my children that I am not the same person depending on the life situation. Though I say to them that they should not worry about what certain people think or how people might view them, I do not live my life like that and they will learn by what I do, not what I say.
B. I've become so much more aware of my thought life over the last few years. I can spend so much time in my thought life living out some fantasy or pretense that I often find that I don't know what the truth is anymore. My thought life is not authentic and I am realizing that it flows over into my "real" life. I'm not secure with who I really am or what really goes on in my life, so I have created another life in my mind. I want to get rid of those lies and use my thought life for "whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy". (From Phil 4:8
C. For the last 3 years I have lived outside of my home country with languages I don't speak and the anxiety I've felt over living every day life here, come from my insecurity. I feel anxious when I'm at the grocery store and I might be asked a question by someone that I don't understand, I am afraid to even attempt to speak a language I've just begun to learn because I don't want to look foolish, and I'm afraid of just being who I am because I don't want to appear like the sterotypical American...I'm afraid of what people might be thinking and it is maddening that I have spent so much time living like this!
4. To me dignity is being so secure in God's love that His spirit is visible in me as I live my life.
WOW I loved the video...I havent been able to participate in the So Long Insecurity Bible study cause I havent recieved my book yet. I should be getting it today and I just might read chapters 1-8 so that way I can get caught up...I am not sure though honestly cause I want the Lord to lead me on what he wants me to read first. I have 5 of your books Beth being delivered anyday now and I have been looking forward to them for weeks. Thank you so much for the work you do and the way you write. Your books make me laugh, cry and really come to grips with stuff I have been not wanting to deal with. Thank you so much.......
I couldn't wait. I completed the book. As with Breaking Free, I'll have to read it again! Thank you. Walking in dignity will require me to make better choices, and I hold that thought in my mind every day now to be "a woman of strength and dignity." Already have tickets for Atlanta's meeting on this subject. Thank you for coming. This is not a "once in for all" subject for me, but a daily "study" to walk in strength, dignity, and better choices as I refuse to allow insecurity to be such a bad friend! Thank you, Beth, again.
Beth et al~
You just gave me my memory verse for next week (James 1:25). Thanks!
1)I could relate to several stories I'm afraid but the comment "we need to let God shovel us out of insecurity, because without Him, we're stuck" really hit home with me. We are indeed at a turning point here in this studu, I know I am. I have been stuck from advancing further with Him because of these insecurity issues.
2) A. I'm stuck. Simply put. Adversity of various forms has embittered my heart. Though I claim forgiveness, when I see these people, my heart and stomach still knotts up. I want it gone!
B. I want to be fully used by God. I want a pure and holy heart. I want to walk along side Him daily, minute-by-minute, believing Him, not just believing in Him. I want to be a women of His Word.
C. For my family (husband and 6 girls) and for my minstries (women's and youth). If my security is in God, they will see that, they will be inspired by that, they will learn from that-I have to overcome these insecurities. I guess in other words, I want to overcome satan so badly on this one I am getting "fightin mad" about it!
3. When my minstry partner attacked me personally (and had the nerve to identify that I had insecurities) I immediately went into my shell. I had the smarts to quickly turned to God and He was there and He has helped me journey through those "emotions" and in the end, though I may have lost this partner as a cherish and dear friend, I am so so glad it happened. The growth I am experiencing is good and I am seeing God's plan in this. It seems to have been a very good thing after all. I just want to be in the right place-His will for my life.
4)I loved this chapter. Another professor I have worked closely with at the college I teach at was being honored for her many years of teaching. We were asked to write something about her and I choose Proverbs 31:10 and the character word "noble". My letter was chosen to be read at the event and this chapter reminded me of my thoughts in that letter. A nobel women is worth honoring (dignity), she is strong, she is respected (dignity). I have that verse on my bathroom wall to remind me daily of what I want to become...not out of selfish gain but of eternal significance....nobel in Him, strong in Him, respected by Him.I want God to find favor in me and my life=dignity. Satan wants me to believe that my past will never allow me to have dignity (strength, honor, respect) but I refuse to be sold out to his way of thinking. I choose to believe God can give me back the dignity He intented for each of us to have in Him.
Believing Him~Pamela
46
Married, blended family
Missouri
1. Insecurity can confine us:I want so much to connect to other women and make new friendships. I have always been shy and I have let it get to the point where I play out whole scenes in my head of how I would be rejected if I tried to reach out and make new friends. I even talk myself out of calling friends I have had for years, thinking "well, I guess if they wanted to talk to me they would cal me..." As a result I have isolated myself to the point of depression. Insecurity has confined me.
2. a) I am sick and tired of being lonly and feeling sorry for myself, especially when I am the only one who can do anything about it.
b) The enemy is laughing his head off at the lies I have believed that have gotten me to this place.
c) I don't want to pass on my irrational fears and insecurities to my kids. I couldn't stand that.
married
age 34
1. "Insecurity explodes w/rejection and can twist our perceptions." The people I have loved have all, one by one, abandoned me, always choosing someone else. I am okay with not being someone else's first choice, or with someone have others in their life, but to be totally forgotten is horrible.
2.a) I believe I am in the beginning stages of the biggest human love relationship of my life, and I want to be as emotionally healthy as possible for this.
b) I want to model for my new granddaughter God's ultimate best that I can be.
c) I am middle-aged and if I am not going to be free to be who God created me to be at this stage in life, when in the world would I be able to???
4. worthy of respect, not scrambling around begging for emotional crumbs; to avoid making someone a priority when all I am to them is an "option".
Dear "Anonymous" at 9:06, you are so loved here! Don't stop! There is plenty of time to catch up! Remember, you have all week for this post and who even cares if you are two weeks late commenting on it?? I still read the late ones coming in on the previous posts and lots of sisters are doing it that way. No legalism here.
All said, chapters of regular books don't take nearly as long to read as chapters of in-depth Bible studies. Your reading really could go pretty fast if you determined with everything in you to set aside the time. Would you let your Siesta Mama give you an assignment and offer you some accountability? Why don't you set aside two hours of reading over the next 24 hours? Can you find that space anywhere? (Tonight if possible so this defeat will be completely off of you for your birthday?)
It won't take you any longer than that to get caught up on the reading and you can just jump in with us here and forego the previous weeks of comments. The enemy is trying to discourage you because he doesn't want this long term stronghold broken off of your family line. Do not let him win. Believe God over every memory and competing emotion. And don't let your own flesh - like mine has often done - get you in a compulsive cycle. Sometimes when we're in a rut, all we need is for someone else to offer us a hand and help us stand up. I gladly do that today, dear sister. We pray you have the best birthday tomorrow and sense the victory coming.
God loves you so deeply. Spend every minute of tomorrow, in the words of John 15, abiding in that love.
I love your top 3 reasons, ladies! Those are some mighty strong motivations! SO WORTH THE WORK! Stay with it. God is with you, Mighty Warriors.
Beth,
Answers later but after watching the video, I had to comment. My previous comments have indicated that I don't deal with a PROFOUND insecurity, although I am aware of the areas of my life in which I am insecure. However, I had to tell you that in the beginning of the video, when you said you needed to address a comment that a siesta had made, I thought, "oh, no, did I say something?!" I guess I'm dealing with more than I realized. :) I wonder how many other siestas had that thought. Also, I am participating in the Living Beyond Yourself Bible study and yesterday was the Week 9 video in which you discuss letting God bind up our wounds and bring healing to our broken places. I was convicted that I needed to get to some serious time with God and ask him to reveal to me what wounds I might have (and be unaware of) so that He could bind them up. Then, this morning you mention God enlightening us so that He can clean out the wounds and heal them. When I hear a message twice, I KNOW I need to listen up!! Thanks for delivering the message.
Georgine
Austin, TX
50's
married
I haven't read the chapters, yet, but I just had to get on and post this. I realized something, this morning, while watching the video and I think it resonates with one of our questions for this week.
For the past couple of nights, I have had a couple of nightmares. Ones that hit on something about which I am insecure. And then, I had a incident, yesterday, that pounded the issue in further.
While I was watching Beth's video this morning and thinking of so many of you, Siestas, going through the journey together, I think God shot a little lightbulb into my sleepy little brain.
Satan DOES NOT want us to "deal" with our insecurities! We need to pray, pray, PRAY for each other. Don't let anything he tries discourage you from reading or sharing or letting God change you. I won't, either, and we'll ask God to help us be aware when satan attempts to 'put one over on us' and keep us from growing more like Jesus. We are gonna do some battle for each other and I am gonna start praying for each of us.
Love Y'all!
the video really spoke to me and i just ordered the book. can't wait to catch up and join the discussion. i can't thank you enough for addressing this issue, and at a time that i really need it.
I'll have to come back later to answer but just wanted to say that I think I approached this all wrong. I am not sure exactly what I was thinking but maybe it was something along the lines of "this will be fun, this will be good, I'm sure I need this, I'm going to enjoy this". I think I failed to appreciate the depth of this issue within myself.
Here's sort of a picture of the way I'm feeling about my approach to this - it's like I just strolled into the convenience store for a pack of gum without realizing I was walking into an armed robbery. Now here I stand, I'm a little stunned because I really didn't know what I was walking into. But I can't turn back and run out, I've seen too much.
I'm certainly not comparing you to an armed robber - it's the situation and my mindset in my approach to this - ok so there's probably many other word pictures I could have chosen but this is just how I am feeling at the moment and you get what I'm saying, right? don't you?
I get the "feeling raw" though. I haven't finished the book, in fact I'm a little behind on this because I'm still standing by the door saying "but...I just wanted a pack of gum...that one right there...can I just get it and...."
My top 3 reasons for dealing with my insecurities:
A. I'm ready to be the real "me".
B. I lead other women and I want to be worth following. I want them to see Jesus, not my glaring insecurities.
C. Amanda, Jackie, Melia and Brianna (my daughters and granddaughters). I want them to be women who find their security in Jesus.
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1. A piece of all of the stories~ each insecurity developed into a blindspot with realtionships..i missed out on so much.
2.
a. Generational insecurites~my daughters(and son) need to have a life filled with grace and mercy.
b. Fellowshipping~friends deserve to be able to be themselves with us.
c. Wholeness, Peace and Joy in all my relationships.
3. Triggers happen with lots of situations~ work, homeschool, church, neighbors. It always comes down to the point that I'm somewhere in my thinking that is insecure and distrustful. God has been patient with me, I'm here and aware.
4. Dignity~ seeing ourselves through God's eyes.
1. I struck me again how depraved insecurity can make us.
2a. I am tired of feeling worthless.
2b. I am tired of having my feelings hurt so easily, but I don't want to be insensitive.
2c. I want to live the abundant, victorious life, focused on HIM.
3. Yesterday was my birthday. My own father did not even call me. Surprisingly, even though I noticed, I am not hurt, angry, or even bothered. I am still being reminded by my Heavenly Father that I am loved.
4. Respect. Dignity has nothing to do with pride. It is class while having nothing to do with money.
Thank you for your continued leadership. You and your ministry are a blessing to me.
Karlys
58
La Place, LA
You can tell today is my first time posting!
Marcie
43
Summerville,SC (Yay, Seacoast Church!)
And..All Siestas: I'm praying for you and our journey together through Insecurites.
To: Jo from Mattoon: I'm with ya siesta! Find me, I got something for in Mattoon!(lots of my God-Family there!)
1. That I need to learn a different response when I'm tempted to panic and overcommunicate w/people! And the part about insecurity causing us to accept the abnormal as normal.
2. A) So that I will not be tempted to settle for less than God's best in any area, especially the man I marry.
B) Because it's exhausting and defeating to stay in insecurity.
C) Because I believe God can do so much more with me if I genuinely believe what He says about me.
3. The most recent "trigger" I can remember was being introduced to someone with the biting phrase, "She's the quiet one," which I always perceive negatively -- like, "She's the unfriendly or invisible or insignificant one." I immediately felt like the person I was meeting didn't like me, and just wanted to disappear at that moment, but did my best to be friendly and kind while everyone was around. I almost cried when I got back to my office, though, which was an overreaction, as she probably meant nothing negative by that statement. But yes, that is a trigger for me.
4. To me, dignity means being respected, and having a sense of real value and purpose. For whatever reason, when I hear the word, I picture royalty... which is fitting, I think, as we are daughters of the King!
1. Insecurity can confine us.
I can relate to the not wanting to come out of the office story. I'm introverted to a fault and have avoided many the social contact because of insecurities. And boy does that get confining and lonely. This leads me to #3...
3. Unfortunately I do go out of my way to avoid contact with people when I'm feeling insecure. Such was the case at church last Sunday when a couple I hadn't seen in YEARS was visiting. As much as it would've been nice to reconnect with them my insecurities were trumping that situation. God then gave me a little nudge, reminding me of what He's been teaching me through this book. To make a long story shorter, I pressed on, MADE myself approach them. It was SO HARD, but ended up having the most fun, awesome, God honored conversation with these people I had at first tried to avoid! I did it! He did it in me, actually. It very well could have been a life changing conversation and to think I almost missed it! Praise Him!
2. A. He's been preparing me for something HUGE and my insecurities can NOT get in the way of His purpose being fulfilled in me.
B. I'm simply sick and tired of dealing with these same insecurities over and over and over again. I'm done! Up and over this mountain and all done going round and round and round it!
C.This is not who God made me to be! After ALL He's done for me, how in the world can I continue to let my insecurities get the best of me? I need to claim my dignity for HIM..a gift to HIM!
This is one of those times when it's so hard to express my heart in words. It may not make sense but God knows what I mean!!
(I just wrote that and am now laughing at myself. Albeit true, it was surely written out of insecurity. Yep, there's still work to be done!)
Love you all!
Kelli
A. I am sick of being jealous and competitive with others. I want to experience the freedom to do something good, even if it's not great or better than anyone else.
B. I am more than sick of living in fear and shame. I want to know rest and peace, regardless of performance.
C. I am even "sicker" than that of just plain defeat and not being the woman of courage and confidence God has made me to be. I want to find complete satisfaction in pleasing God, rather than myself or anyone else.
What strikes me most about the concept of dignity is that I am CLOTHED with it. My failure to measure up to my own expectations makes me feel naked and ashamed. Knowing that I am clothed gives me the confidence to live God's word, counting it as true in my life. I read that faith is not believing in spite of evidence, but obeying in spite of consequence. Knowing I am clothed with dignity and security, I feel greater freedom to be obedient. I hope for the opportunity to live it out.
Hi Y'all - I just wanted to chime in a quick note to all the stay at home moms that may feel intimidated by "career" women - can I just share with you from the other side of the aisle that I often feel left out in the mom discussions (though God's working on that!). And one of my dearest prayers is that one day I'll be blessed to stay at home with a child - so tell that 'ole devil to take a hike when he tempts you to ever think of the CAREER of child raising as less than working outside the home. I know our culture may not give the honor to moms, but God sure does!! And your children will rise up and call you blessed when they are grown and realize what an immense gift you have given them!!
Love to all of you Siestas!
Bridget in Phoneix AZ
I want to expose Satan's lies about insecurity for:
1. My older daughter
2. My younger daughter
3. My future daughter-in-law (whose mom might be reading this post ; )
The Lord has helped ME through some of these issues as I've raised my daughters (now teens). When I told a crying 6th grader, "That girl probably didn't mean to be unkind; she just wasn't thinking," I knew that the advice applied to me as an adult. (The realization that I was taking things too personally.)
It's wonderful how God uses mothers and daughters and Siestas to teach us His Truth?
Wow...Okay!
1.) I felt like I could have written the section the woman wrote about becoming so depressed after having her first child. That was ten years ago for me and after nearly three years, I finally got help. Praise God my 10-year-old daughter seems to be unscathed. She is a precious little girl who adores Jesus!!!
2.) a- I have two little girls and it is my job to train to train them to be confident in Christ. THey both have recently, at separate occasions, told me they want to grow up to be just like me. OH NO!!!! LORD HELP ME!!!!
b - I believe God wants to use me to make a difference in the lives of others, and I need to get beyond some of this insecurity junk in order to get my ego out of the way to make room for His spirit.
c - because it's a lie and I just HATE lies.
3.) I've been working out at the gym for nearly three months with a goal to lose some jiggle off my backside. Yesterday I put on some jeans and they were too tight. UGGH!!!! I felt like crying over a bag of powdered donuts!
4.) Dignity means to mean that I can keep my head held high because I am covered in Christ. We are co-heirs, for Heaven's sake! That's just too much! It's certainly too much to be worrying about whether or not I have cellulite on my bum!
Lori
38
Married
Helena, Montana
4.)
I'm behind a week because I misplaced my book..no judging, right? :0) I just finished chapter 5 and it kicked my fanny! I realized that rejection is huge for me...I think I've "known" it was huge but didn't know how much it mattered to me. Then I heard something on TV that was a bit helpful...someone said that rejection is God's protection. It's true. The person that I was rejected by that hurts me the most was someone that really shouldn't have been in my life and as I look back, was a really bad influence!
1. What hit home the most was that insecurity has robbed me of trying new things, initiating friendships, going out of my comfort zone and robbing me of confidence. I have tried hard to overcome it, but now I see it in my teenage stepdaughters and don't know how to encourage them to go for it and not settle, or be afraid to try things.
2. I need to deal with my insecurities because it is affecting my ability to:
a) be a confident parent
b) be a secure, supportive spouse
c) be used by God
3. Boy has my insecurity been triggered this week! I have been the brunt of my stepdaughter's anger over her mom's death for a few years. This week we found evidence of many hateful words about me that she had been texting to friends and it devastated me to read them. My husband doesn't understand why I am upset about having a bad reputation with a group of teenagers. What he doesn't get is that I've spent my whole life bending over backwards trying to make sure everyone likes me. Teenagers or not, my reputation has been dragged through the mud by my stepdaughter, who cares nothing for my feelings (except to know that she has control over them), and has no remorse or desire to change. At least this has opened my husband's eyes to the attacks that I endure, and has prompted us to seek counseling for both my stepdaughter and myself. I don't want Satan to sow a seed of bitterness in our family. I know God will use it for his glory someday, and will heal all wounds, but the day to day struggle is hard to bear.
4. I so much needed the reminder that dignity means being worthy of respect and high esteem, not because I derive it from others, but because God gave it to me. I am made in his image and crowned with dignity. I am esteemed by God!
Thank you, Beth, for writing this book just for me at just the right time when God knew that I would need to hear it. Not only am I coming to terms with my own insecurities, I am able to better understand the insecurities my stepdaughters are experiencing and will hopefully be able to help them through it as well.
42
married
Maine
Beth-
Whoooa! did I need that video clip. Maaaan! I'll admit I've been strugglin'. Seriously sweetie, I did need to here those words of encouragement. I've been in a battle and I'm wondering if insecurity is at the root of it. hummmm
I'll chekc back in later with my homework. just wanted to let you know you helped me today.
Beth...thanks again.
Ellen
20's
Colorado Springs
Married
1. The story that stuck from chapter 7 was the one where the women would try up to three different bathrooms to find an empty one before she peed. Sheesh! I've been there too! It made me finally realize how pathetic my insecurity can make me act.
2. Why I am on this journey:
A. I am tired of being obsessed with how other people think of me. It robs me from really serving them.
B. A lot of my husband's sweet words are reminding me that I have dignity and don't need to worry so much what other people think. Lord bless him. If he's willing to be a vessel and tell me it's time to let my insecurities go, it's time!
C. So many of my friends deal with massive insecurities too. (Like Beth said, I wouldn't want to hang out with secure people because they make me feel more insecure. Ha!) I hope that my journey on this road will be contagious and that they will see God wants to heal them too.
There were two parts that hit home with me in Chapter 7. One is that insecurity can confine us. My insecurity stops me from doing things I know I need to do many times. I remember when I was in college, I would drop any class that I may have to give a speech in. Needless to say, I didn’t graduate until I was 32! The other is insecurity explodes with rejection and can twist our perceptions: Wow, this rings so true! I was always somewhat insecure about my body but when my ex-husband cheated on me, that insecurity intensified greatly! Suddenly, my body seemed all wrong….legs not big enough, waist too wide, breasts too saggy and not big enough, etc. There’s nothing like rejection that will get that insecurity stirred up!
The three reasons I need to deal with my insecurity are:
1. To step out there and do what I know God is calling me to do. There are so many times when God opens a door, but I’m too insecure to walk through.
2. I have a daughter and lots of girl nieces and I want to be a good role model.
3. I want to be FREE!!!!!!
A recent trigger in my life actually happened at a leader’s meeting at church. I was co-leading the Esther Bible study last fall. I was pretty nervous about this because it was a little out of my comfort zone (the whole speaking in front of groups thing again) but I was wanting to obey God so I agreed to do it. I was SO nervous about going to the leader’s kick off party, because I was worried I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to or sit with (should someone like this be co-leading a Bible study? ☺). Well, I get to the meeting and see a friend and immediately go talk to her. After a few seconds, she walked off to talk to someone else and I was standing there alone and felt like a fish out of water. I felt this overwhelming insecurity. I went to the bathroom and sobbed in the stall. It was crazy!!! I KNEW, though, that Satan was trying to stop me from doing what I was supposed to do. I recognized it immediately. I composed myself and went back out there and 2 of my sweet friends had saved me a seat. ☺ God is so loving!
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Chapter 8!!! So encouraging!!!
God has crowned me with strength and dignity!!! This siesta believes it!
Sister Lynn
Clyde MO
1. Insecurity in female friendships hit home - this isn't my biggest insecurity but it is the one that I have done the most idiotic things.
2. A. Because of a new job where I am helping to train in the new nuns - and I need to be healthy to teach them to be healthy.
B. I am tired of relying on others for my sense of self-worth.
C. In my mind I know that I am secure in Christ - I want to know it in my heart too.
3. We had to do a reflective art project for class and I was really insecure about my work compared to others. It did get me for a little while but I was able to overcome it.
4. Dignity is living in God's truth. Knowing and BELIEVING who I am in HIS eyes.
1. I think what has hit home with me is how insecurity has shaped so many lives and dictated how women behave. I am appalled as I look back over the things I did and did not do because of my insecurities. I have been robbed of so much.
2. What are my three top reasons for dealing with insecurity now?
A. I don't want another day to pass where insecurity rules over me.
B. I don't want to see insecurity rule over the lives of my daughter, nieces, and granddaughter.
C. I want to be the woman God created me to be. I want to be free.
3. I was spiritually attacked one evening because of something my husband said. It was an innocent enough remark but I instantly took it to heart and became defensive. Ordinarily, I would have bantered right back and we both would have had a laugh. Instead, I went to my bedroom and began to enter into a downward spiral of negative emotions and defeated thoughts. Right before I fell off the edge completely, I had a thought I know was from the Lord: I was in a battle for my security and peace of mind. I took authority over the situation in Jesus' name and felt the oppressive attack lift from me. I know the enemy attacked me because of reading this book. He does not want me to be free of insecurities and self doubt, but through Christ I am free and will continue to be free. I praise you, Jesus!
4. Dignity to me is being able to hold my head up high and walk forth because of all the Lord has done for me. I am loved by my Heavenly Father. I am a child of God! The past is covered in the blood of Christ and all the mistakes and sins are forgiven. The burden is lifted and I am free. He has given me dignity.
My top three reasons:
a. I have two young daughters. (Okay, tearing up already...)
b. I'm not fulfilling all of God's purposes for me by living in insecurity. He has so much more out there for me to do and be!
c. My husband's ministry will flourish when I'm not anxious all the time.
Amy Storms
Santa Clarita, CA
33 - married
Oops. I forgot to leave my name and such...
Tammy
Lusby, MD
40's
Married
Dear Anonymous at 7:59:
I usually can't get the video to play on the LPM blog page, but if you click on the link just below the video box - on the words "So Long Insecurity" - it will redirect you to the Vimeo page, and I can usually get it to play there.
Be blessed!
Robin
40's
married
Texas
2. As a secure woman of God, I am a joyful, building up and encouraging prayer warrior. Therefore:
A. When I begin to feel insecure, all joy is quenched and I think only of myself!
B. When I begin to feel insecure, I'm unable to build up and encourage others, in fact, I do the exact opposite!
C. When I begin to feel insecure, I am no longer able to be the person God created me to be in the situation at hand, so I become a useless warrior in the Kingdom of the Lord (and in essence, then, taken out of the game until I can be in better position for God to be glorified).
3. I felt the rise coming out of me yesterday when I read the e-news at my daughter's school yesterday...she was being honored but instead of my seeing the honor, I saw that they'd mistook which grade she is in...she's small and constantly being mistaken for younger than she is. It just upset me so much that I wanted to call the school and tell them to change the wording in the article (but I didn't)...how silly that I couldn't just enjoy the honor and not worry about the mistake, which no one else, including my daughter, even seemed to notice.
4. Dignity means being worthy of respect: respecting myself as a daughter in the kingdom of the Lord and respecting others for having been created by my Father in Heaven, regardless of whether they've accepted His Son as their Savior...I LOVED being taught that from God's Word (Ps. 8:5), that we are ALL worthy of respect, regardless of lifestyle choices!!!!
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why?
The "insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do". OMGosh...does this ever resonate....not resonate it hits me over the blonde head on my shoulders and knocks me clean out. I found myself in sexual situations with way too many men in my 20s. In fact I really didn't even think sex was all that great. Just looking for security and love. Disgusting!
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you.
Recent trigger: MIDLIFE and the effects of gravity on my body. Heavens above, just when I had walked past the whole focus on my body/anorexia thing; here comes all the changes that occur to the body in midlife. Round 2!! Fortunately I got through this much quicker than i did with the initial battle with anorexia in my 20's.
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you?
Dignity means being able to hold my head up; look in the mirror and know that even if no one else is proud of me, God is and He loves me wildly. This is what my life verse, Psalm 3:3 is all about. He is the lifter of my head!!
Leah
Blairsville, GA
40's
Married
Oh-my-goodness!! I just about had a cow when I heard what your grandmother used to say to you, "Come over hereya!"!! I used to hear that same thing from my great-grandmother from Arkansas(and have told my children about it recently!) and boy did it bring back memories..not only that, but I see more of the life you came from! If you came from roots anywhere close to one of my parents side of the family (not saying which one!)no wonder you are always going on about being a such a miracle! Truly you are!!
After thinking back, it just made me so very grateful for the Lord's protection and situations where He rescued me from harm...there was definitely harm done, but it could have been much worse.
I am so excited about your book and all the hope within. I love you so much Beth! Thank you for your precious heart that loves--God's sweet Spirit, that you let shine. I feel like, more than ever, I can identify so well with where you have come from and am so very delighted at the way the Lord has rescued you from your bondage because of your obedience and God's amazing grace. What a tremendous example you are and praise God I am so thrilled you have been delivered!! God is well on His way to delivering me too..already has in MANY ways..may I be faithful to follow Him and live and believe His Word..James 1:22-25! Hallelujah!!
Sheryle
Beth, Thanks for the video and your encouragement...we need to persevere.
first time commenting on SLI
1)Chapter 7- Can relate to several examples...especially being stuck in places because of my response to insecurity and turning into an out of control mother when my trigger was hit. This was all like a slap in the face.... we need to grab ahold of some Jesus healing here!
2) A- 3 teenaged daughters...I desire them to find their security in Jesus.
B- God is lighting a step in a new path for me and I'm too insecure to step out and walk on it. I desire to walk in the strength and confidence He has clothed me in.
C- I am sick and tired of succumbing to triggers....then I have to circle back for damage control. I desire to be wholy (holy) filled with Him and die to selfish pride.
3) I'm having some problems with the transition into parenting a college student. On my daughter's last 2 (whoops...make that 3) visits home, her off-hand comments to me about my parenting resulted in over reactions on my part(could we spell trigger here?). My raised voice caused her tears:(
4)Dignity- the quality of being WORTHY of esteem or respect.
My dear Lord Jesus, please help me take to heart that your death has made me worthy in the sight of our Abba -father. The Father that created me and laid on my head a crown of dignity to go with my clothes of strength. Amen.
married 25 years
51
PA
Dear Beth,
I am so glad you did a video. Oh did it speak to my heart. I must confess, and this is embarrasing, but I can only read a bit of the book at a time. It stirs something in me that I can't continue for quite some time so I am waaay behind. My first name should be "Insecurity". My whole life has been filled with it. I can't even open the bible over the last few weeks because something inside of me is shouting louder than "The Word". I am tied up in knots and wonder constantly why I have a stomach ache. I've tried reading everyone's comments, but then I feel the life sucked right out of me. It is like the computer is killing me. Do you know what I mean? To tell you how insecure I am I purchased the book and the CD so maybe listening to you will help better.
I can't wait for Thursdays to roll around so I get to visit with you. Take care
2)
A) GOD told me to start dealing with it. HE put in me the strong desire and I was literally saying, "THAT'S IT! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE TOLL INSECURITY TAKES. I'M WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO DUMP IT," before I even purchased the book. Fortunatly, I only had to wait a few weeks before receiving the book. God's timing is perfect!
B) It wasn't doing GOD any good.
C) It wasn't doing ME any good.
These aren't cop out answers. I've lived with this my whole life. I'd accepted that it was just who I was and just this year God made it very clear to me that it wasn't doing either of us any good. Before this I had a feeling that God had big plans for me and the insecurity was just getting in the way of His plans. I can't wait to see what God has for me next. God has been so good to me to have healed me of the insecurity. I credit the direction God gave of Beth to this.
3) My recent trigger that would have normally set off huge insecurity was that my husband went out of town on a trip for his work. Normally that would have had me really ticked off at him and would hardly talk with him when he called. I'm so OK with it this week. No anger, no resentment and we've had some wonderful conversations on the phone.
Tamara
Highlands Ranch, CO
30's
Married
That is so interesting you brought up Jessica Simpson. I did not watch the show but pulled it up online to see what she had to say. All I could think of is she needs a copy of your book! After reading the interview I just sat there and prayed for her.
I just finished Chapter 6 this morning and can not wait to get into this weeks assignment but I just had to say . . . YAAAAY For a video from Beth this morning!!!! I just really, really needed that this morning - thank you Beth!
April, 29
Williamson, GA
Married
I am looking for a breakthrough because I feel like I am literally battling this thing... maybe instead of just allowing it to dwell.
Yesterday seemed better, like I was making progress. Today, I am so emotional and in tears. I feel like I am the "three steps back".
I'm a SAHM. Feel like I'm not great at that, not sure if I should get a job, heck if I even COULD get a job, that I don't clean house well enough, take care of finances well enough, etc. etc.
For the questions...
1. Not being able to make small talk, seeming shy and feeling like I have nothing to contribute to a conversation.
2. Why its time to deal...
A. To keep my 2 girls from following in my footsteps. My oldest (14) already battles a very low self-esteem and I feel that I've done a huge injustice to her by being insecure and passing it down.
B. Because its keeping me from doing what God wants me to do. Not exactly sure what that is, but I'm sure its more than I'm doing now.
Looking forward to the Victory.
I am not ready to answer my questions just yet, haven't read chapter 8, still digesting chapter 7. What a relief in a way to know I wasn't the only one acting out of insecurity in such a desperate crazy way! After a particular season I would feel so alone thinking I was the only who ever reacted so poorly. I have had a taste of way too many of the situations listed.
Thank you Siestas for sharing your innermost with us, so we all may be healed.
Sharon
San Antonio
40's
married
I wanted to go through this book with you, but I am teaching and getting my master's degree right now which leaves little time for any other reading. I spend a lot of time traveling to school and to classes, so I purchased the book on CD's. I started listening last night. Beth, I cannot believe you took the time to actually narrate the CD's! You amaze and humble me. Siestas, if you don't feel like you have time to "read" the book - get it on CD's. They are so well done! Thanks, Beth Moore!
Dora
25, married
Missouri
I just wanted to share this real fast i have pushed down my insecurity and scheduled a meeting to start a relay for life team. For one time in my life im going to be a leader and not a follower. Please pray for me this is a huge step for me and i am very nervous.
I love you all.
Retiredlady
60
NC
The part of chapter 7 on Pride was very eyeopening to me. I was shocked at some of the things I do or think being related to pride. The part of perfectionist is me all over. I pray with all my heart the rest of the book shows me how to get over that and self and the other parts of my insecurity. Beth God has blessed you with a very special talent of helping women like me. I have gained from every lesson I've done with your guidance. PTL
I praise God that he made my trigger pride and not something more painful. As a result I find, looking back, that even if I was plenty insecure about something, I was also too proud to do anything truly demeaning or foolish. I guess it was God's way of preserving me and I thank him for it, even as I ask him to deal with said pride.
Two things resonated with me through the stories, the first was lying. When I think back on the countless times, even recently, that I have told a little white lie to cover for my feeling insufficient I blush (or I would if I could). The second thing is feeling robbed of opportunity, especially to minister, because of the feeling of not measuring up or being liked enough to do it well.
I blamed it on being shy for years before realizing that it was a stronghold that needed tearing down.
I still struggle with it, but God is gaining ground slowly.
Top 3 reasons...
A, I'm tired of being consumed by worry over what people think of me or might be saying behind my back about me, and acting distant and cold in anticipation of being disliked.
B, I desperately want God to be able to use me in ministry to his glory instead of feeling so fearful.
C, I want my future children to have the best possible role model for security in Christ and in this world that they could hope for.
Ch.8
My latest trigger was actually yesterday. My sister called to wish me happy birthday and left a voicemail. In it she also mentioned that there was no need for me to call her back, that she was just wishing me a happy day. Immediately my brain rattled off any number of reasons why she wouldn't want to talk to me. Had I done or said something to hurt her? Was she mad at me? So silly, but I confess it still bothers me a bit. I'll call her today and I know everything will be just fine and I will have had no reason to be insecure.
2, Dignity to me is the freedom to be in any company, doing any task and know full well that I am a person worthy of respect and affection. To know that God loves me and made me a specific way and that I DO have something to offer other people!
It's funny and sad, ever since starting this series I notice insecurity everywhere! on tv, in others...everyone just trying to survive with as little damage as possible. Makes me want to give them a copy of the book and demand that they read it!
Thanks mama beth.
Beth,
The part of Chapter 7 that resonated most with me was the story I wrote. There it is. And it still hurts a ton. Seeing it there shows me just how insecure I really am. I'm almost afraid to flip through the book for seeing it again, like a horrible or scary picture you want to avoid. I have this strange fear that the next time I look my name will be under it and that every person that reads your book will know it was me. And I'll be devastated.
I don't know how in the world you have courage to share so much of your own life with people all over the world. It can only be obedience and compassion. Is that true? I would've said security, but you've already told us you have long dealt with insecurity.
So today I too am feeling raw. I wish the story would go away in every conceivable way. Unless it really does make a difference.
I have been asked very lovingly and gently by a friend who loves me and knows me well if I have made security an idol in my life. I began to think about it and I believe that she may be correct. My childhood was pretty insecure and I began to make plans and contingency plans for every situation and I do mean every. From what if the pants I plan to wear don't fit right in the morning to what will I do if my husband dies and I'm left a widow. It's exhausting. While I don't think that security is the problem it's what I'm using to draw my security from that is the problem. If I could learn to TRUST God and His plan for my life how freeing that could be. I'm excited to learn how to do that. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you in this way.
Woo - Hoo come on freedom!!
Top 3 reasons top deal with it:
a. My mind is going crazy because of insecurity
b. I'm putting a lot of pressure on my man.
c. I focus way too much on being like someone else.
Blessings!
I haven't read Chapters 7 and 8 yet but I just watched the video. I must say that I loved it. It really spoke to my heart and motivated me. I love seeing your passion. It's very uplifting and encouraging. I think you should do more videos!!
I am getting a lot out of your book and love how the Lord speaks to me while I'm reading it. I'm learning a great deal about myself. Thanks again.
**Girl, love those highlights! They look fantastic! :)
I love you so much!! I hope I can say this without you taking it the wrong way, Miss Beth. There have been times that I have felt pushed to "rush" through your studies, either because videos have to be returned to the person they were borrowed from, or because a church group wanted to stick to a specific schedule, but I gotta tell ya. I get the MOST out of your studies when I am able to go at my own pace and let God show me in every day life each point that He is trying to make to me. It took me over a year to get through Breaking Free on my own, but I will never regret or forget it because with each new section that I did, God showed up big time in a way that only He could, to show me what steps needed to be taken for me to finally BREAK FREE. Something that big can't come out of an 8 week journey. At least not for the bondage I was carrying. I think the same will be true of this insecurity book. Some women may need to go even SLOWER than the pace we are going in order to get the full effects of everything that needs to be learned, relearned and essentially "reprogrammed," so that we kick this bad girl to the curb! (bad girl=insecurity)
After all that being said, Miss Beth, how the heck do you get your hair so high??? Do you use mousse or hairspray or root lifter or what? I can't for the life of me figure out how to do what you do to your hair, but I sure wish I knew, because mine likes to sit flatter than a pancake. I have tried umpteen times with a big round brush and hair spray in front of the mirror, but end up looking pretty hideous (if I do say so myself). Help!!
I have to be honest here. I have not posted yet because I did the same thing the girl did you were speaking to. I read the entire book...in one sitting. BIG MISTAKE. Not enough time to process and not enough time to let God speak or work. I felt shaken to the core and scared, not healed. O.K. I am starting over. I will go slow and follow the instructions this time.
Humbled,
Allison Lee
Newbie here :) What is it with our relationships with our sister-in-laws? Brings out the worst insecurities in some of us. So glad to read I am not the only one.
#1 Insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female friendships. the why leads to #4 ~ I have a very dear friend that was my maid of honor. She is also very good friends with my sister-in-law. I, on the other hand am not friends with my sister-in-law. I don't dislike her we just don't have a relationship. With all that being said there are issues with this friendship. I often question why I stay friends with the one when I don't have the relationship with the other. Often I have been excluded from activities where the two are involved which is has been hurtful. I am not sure why I am not better friends with my sister-in-law, other than the root being my insecurity. I wondering now if it is my insecurity that has caused so much of this hurt I feel. At times I know I have voiced this hurt to the dear friend and am embarrassed that my insecurity has led us to some heated discussions. Bless her heart she is still my friend.
Back to #2
1. I am a mother of three and need to have my dignity for my two girls(and boy) to see what it is like to be secure in Christ.
2. Able to focus on my time on worship and His will for my life without ME getting in the way.
3. Have better relationships with people.
Thanks for writing this book I feel like not only will I get my dignity back, but I can help my girls ages 7 and 5 keep their dignity.
1. the part "insecurity explodes with rejection and can twist our perceptions" because I have lived most of my life as a people pleaser. I have compromised my Christian values just to be accepted or to avoid confrontation. Why? My deep insecurity rearing its ugly head.
2. a) God cannot use me fully until I get rid of this friend.
b) I hate what even a small dose of insecurity does to my thoughts, words, actions, and, most of all, my walk with Him. It's the mountain I am tired of marching around time after time after time.
c) Dealing with it will enable me to become a better wife, mom, sister, and friend.
3. Just last week at a parents' track meeting at school where I did not know anyone in the room. My hubs and I were not getting along and walked in and out feeling horribly insecure. Inside, it got a rise out of me because I was beating myself up with negativity. Outside, it did not get a rise because I began a conversation with someone and "pretended" to be secure!
Eva
40's
Knoxville,TN
I'm giddy!
Just reading your post and watching the short video has produced a feeling of expectation : ) I can feel the long, long, long, long journey coming to an end. The climb is almost over..........I can feel the ocean breezes.........the end of the trail is in sight and I just want to run ahead at a fast clip to be free!
Just had to share. Now I'll head into chapters 7/8, anticipating the end to come....which is really a fresh beginning.....a new foundation.......Whahoo!!
Love ya : )
Terri
30's
Married
Senoia, Georgia
1. You know there is not one part of Chapter 7 that hit home with me, the whole chapter did. It is so sad to read about other's experiences when insecurity made them out to be a fool. It has made me pinpoint a few times when I have been a fool.
2. A. I am so tired of feeling so unworthy and unloved. I know my God loves me and has grace sufficient enough for me to be me! I am his child and I need to begin living that way.
B. I have a 12 year old daughter who I want to be confident in who she is. I don't want her to see my insecurity drag me down and then she follows in my footsteps. I want her to be secure right now.
C. If I deal with my insecurity now, I believe God will be able to use me more through my church to fulfill His purposes and plans.
4. Dignity to me is how I carry myself. It is how I react to my family in situations. Dignity is respect.
Beth, thank you so much for doing the Bible study with us! I just love ya!
Wow God! I was just starting chp 8trying to anyway. I didn't realize till after I watched your video how vulnerable I was feeling. I was stuck and depressed I might add. Now hope, that I don't have to stay here. I can move on and have the security that I know I have in Christ. Thank you Beth for being so sensitive to the Holy Spirit in writing this book and to the continued journey.
Debbie
49 married
California
I watched the Oprah thing last night, too, and wondered if others in Siestaville were watching - it coincided perfectly with this study. Not just a coincidence, I"m sure. All of it was sad, but I was SO torn up over that French model with anorexia. To look at her, so literally hollow, eaten alive by the lie. It broke my heart, made my tender heart weep. And it made me so angry. Not just for her, but for all of us who are being robbed of life, both physical and spiritual. I think that's what it takes - I think we have to get really, really angry. We have to take a long hard look at what we are allowing the lie to take from us. We simply have to stop believing it. Jesus help us...
Kathy W
48
Mansfield, TX
married
1) Insecurity causes a mom to be over-controlling/out of control...There was a point when all 4 of my kids were in elementary and middle schools, doing multiple activities, when we rarely had a civil word between us or a meaningful conversation because I was so insecure about what others would think if they were not involved in enough activities, we were late, I didn't send the right snack for the game, I wasn't involved in their schools enough, on and on, and on. I got a grip on it for a while, by quitting my job and staying home again for a few years, but so wish I had those years back to do over!!
3) Recent trigger-a comment by my husband about another woman's appearance. I didn't register a verbal/obvious reaction; sort of tried to shrug it off, but was definitely doing the "what does she have that I don't" thing in my head. In my husband's defense, he actually makes these comments because he is comparing me favorably to someone else, but I usually don't see it and even argue with him about it sometimes!! Actually the latest trigger was just logging in here...I had just been putting "40's" for age, but after reading Chapter 8, it didn't even bother me to put 48!! So, making progress!! PTL!
4) Dignity means worthy of respect and love because of who I am in Christ. Not necessarily always feeling it, but knowing it!!
Beth,
This doesn't go along with your post so please feel free not to publish this one, but I just had to tell you!
I homeschool our kids and we have been studying ancient history this year through a curriculum that integrates Biblical history with the traditional history. I have loved it!
Today we were studying the history of Judah during the time of the Assyrian empire and transitioning to the Babylonian empire. Can you guess what my kids heard about? Sorry for the rhetorical question, but they just got a HUGE lesson from scripture with applications I drew in from the updated Breaking Free.
The beautiful part was as the end of the lesson drew near, my 4 children (ages 8,10,11,13) had received a weighty Word from God on pride. I did too. We prayed together at the end and I openly rebuked pride in me and prayed that God would break off pride as generations before me have struggled as well. They each prayed that God would replace their pride with the power of the Holy Spirit to have greater control in their lives. I prayed over my kids that they would walk as Hezekiah did before pride influenced his life. I prayed they would walk humbly before their God and be a generation that He receives glory through their tenacity, faithfulness and humility.
This wasn't the first time they have had a lesson from the pages of your Bible studies, but it was so precious I had to share.
Have a blessed day Beth! Thank you, once again!
Jina
(did not get the message saying my post was being reviewed, so it must not have gone through. trying again, sorry if it turns out to be a double post)
Can't wait to see your video, our internet filters at the school where I work blocked it, and my internet at home was down this morning. The filters also block about 3/4 of your pictures and I can only see a few from each set.
I hope I can get my answers typed quickly, because when my job as school nurse interrupts me frequently and it takes me several hours to finish, my posts sometimes never appear. I wonder if there is a connection.
1.Two parts of chapter 7 really rang a bell - the woman at the drive through and the preacher's wife who appeared to be a snob because she was too insecure to speak to people in case they did not like her, since I don't even smile at people sometimes for that reason. My drive through problem is not the sound of my voice, it's just the fear of looking foolish ordering. I cannot speak Starbucks language, so I will never go there unless someone has specifically told me what I need to order and I have memorized it. I have done this exactly one time. I have worked for the same school 10 years and gotten a cafeteria meal one time in all that time because I do not know how staff orders theirs or how the other "snack lines" work and would feel too foolish asking, especially after 10 years.
2.Reasons to deal with my insecurity
A.So I can enjoy myself in situations that scare me
B.Because pride is a sin, and since I now recognize it in myself, I must "go and sin no more"
C.Quote from page 151 "I don't have to live this way anymore". Well all right then, let's just change.
3.Recent trigger - really wanted to get lunch in the cafeteria for once, especially since husband wouldn't be home for supper, so I wasn't cooking at home tonight and wanted a full meal at lunch, not the sandwich I brought. Almost chickened out yet again, but instead, I hitched up my dignity and went for it, thanks to this book. God was merciful and sent another faculty member in there just before me, so I was able to jump in behind her and just copy her. The cafeteria ladies were in shock to see me and even said so!
4.Looked up the definition of dignity on the internet and factmonster.com caught my eye - "bearing, conduct or speech indicative of self respect. worthiness" - love it.
texas
50's
married
Hi. I finished the book too but am reading every chapter over again and slower to really get it thru my head and understand. The problem is even though I love it and think it is great I have felt very oppressed and down. I am in a funk and can't get a grip onto the core yet..I think it is either God having me go deep or Satan using my insecurtity...my thoughts, I will answer questions later. :)
Kate
22
Georgia
Hey Beth! Thank you so much for that video. I also have read through the whole book, but I have been rereading and following along with your questions each week. In response to your video, I have two things to say:
1. I am getting married in 8 months, and I can't explain how much your book has been a blessing to my relationship with my man! His name is also Keith, so when I read your stories about you and YOUR Keith, I literally feel like you are speaking straight to me. Even though I have been a Christian for years, I still find myself placing so much of my security in Keith... but he can't handle it!! You have opened my eyes to the fact that I can never place so much pressure on him and expect him to meet all my needs all the time. I don't know who is more thankful for this book- him or me. :) I know for a fact that we will have a much healthier marriage and I will be a much more secure wife because of this book. (By the way, I think our men would get along. There isn't any place that MY Keith would rather be than in a deer stand.)
2. You are completely right when you say that working with younger girls can help battle insecurity. I lead a Bible study of amazing 9-12th grade girls, and the time I spend with them truly helps me divert my focus from myself and my flaws because I am so focused on them. I always tell them that they are more of a blessing to me than I am to them. I encourage other women to do the same thing. Working with younger women does wonders... in your life and theirs!
Thanks again, Beth! Much love to you all, Siestas!
Thank you so much for the video. I think I finished the book so quickly, I didn't absorb much of the healing implications because I was still licking the wounds that had been opened. Last night I went back and read chapter eight because I am so ready to REALLY beat this. I can't tell you how many times I've stopped doing things Satan's way but never started doing them God's way. Between the reading last night and your video this afternoon, I am so encouraged. Thank you, Mama Beth, for taking the time:)
2. Top 3 reasons to move on:
a. my little girl
b. because Jesus has done so many good things in my life, transformed so much ugly into beauty and to think I would give Him everything but this? No, I want evidence of His fingerprints down to the deepest, ugliest root of insecurity in my life and I want His precious grace to be my strength.
c. I'm sick of feeling unsure, I want to be confident because I know it would have a ripple effect in every single relationship I maintain
3. last week I told some one I love very much how much she meant to me and her response was, well, odd and left me feeling really unsure and insecure.
4. Dignity to me is seeing myself through God's lens and not the worlds. It is believing I am who HE says I am so thoroughly and completely that my confidence is unshakeable.
"If we knew who we were and what God has conferred upon us, what everybody else thought of us would grow less and less significant."
I am glad everyone is getting to take part in this. I guess my insecurity is I haven't gotten my book yet. It got lost and am waiting for the replacement to arrive and am missing keeping up with all of you.
Jagette
North Carolina
Single
1) I think the issue that hit home most with me was the very first issue. Acting like an Idiot around your friends. While in college I had a falling out with a group of friends, basically because I wouldn't give them space. Then instead of giving them space, I kept writing them and trying to talk to them, making a huge fool of myself.
2)Top 3 reasons to deal with Insecurity for me...
a)Because most time I don't feel like I'm worthy to be in a relationship, whether that's a friendship or a romantic relationship.
b) because I'm sick and tired of not feeling adequate because I don't look like a supermodel.
c)It's simply time to get off my butt, stop feeling sorry for myself and make a change to walk in the glorious healing of our Savior!
3)I think one of my recent triggers is that I don't hear from my friends after I leave them comments or send them messages on a certain social networking site and instead of realizing that they have lives and will most likely respond eventually, I get frustrated and think our friendship is fading. This bugs me to no end, because I can get so worked up over nothing!
4)Dignity means to me healing and hope, and I am so glad God has already given it to us!
PS. Beth I just wanted to let you know I was at Passion 2010 and really enjoyed both your main session talk and your breakout session! The 4 no's to get a yes have already helped me several times!
Paige
20's
single
Northern Indiana
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1. After reading chapter 7, I just wanted to scoop all those Siestas into my arms and hug them! I had no idea that on this large of a scale are women dealing with all these awful insecurities. I just love all you Siestas for your bravery and honesty. You are such a blessing to me!
2. I’m not as insecure as I used to be, especially after doing the Inheritance Bible study years ago in Colorado Springs, but it will rear it’s head and I’ll think, “What was that?” This book has challenged me to conquer that last tiny bit!!! I didn’t think it was a big deal anymore, but now that our sweet Mama Beth is asking this question, I am forced to deal with the fact that even those few instances need to be gone!!!
A) I will be starting a family with my husband and don’t want to pass on an ounce of insecurity.
B) I realize now that even small doses belittles who I am in God’s eyes.
C) To be insecure in any instance seems to place a distance in how close to God I can get.
3. I did have a dose of insecurity when I thought about signing up for facebook just LAST WEEK! I saw that so many people from my childhood and high school were already on and how many “friends” they had and some of the women were incredibly successful. I gave up a very successful career so my husband could have his (he has to move with the job), and for a moment I felt this awful surge of worthlessness. I realized that facebook would be really bad for me. And Beth’s book confirms it! I can be in a room full of women and feel just fine and confident and truly enjoy getting to know each one. But if I am home alone and online seeing how popular women are on their blogs and facebook pages, for some reason I have this feeling that there’s no way mine would be successful and it’s like 7th grade all over again!!! I even find myself checking to see how many times someone has clicked on my bio and feel lame that it is so much lower than others who are in the thousands. If I get a surge of clicks, I feel so happy, that 7th grade popularity! So, need to stay away from that medium, it’s just not good for me. Thank you Lord for showing me that!
OH Thank you Becky from Owasso OK.
thank you for your words; 'I don't have to dig through the trash with him anymore, I'm clean, I'm loved"
The evil on has had me digin' through the trash with him lately.
Thank you siesta.
First I will say that most of the examples in Ch. 7 were on some level familiar. I have let my insecurity go as far as me changing who I was to the point of wondering if I even knew anymore
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities:
..1.. I believe that I am who God says I am..His child that He loves, so being a fidgety and insecure parson doesn't line up with that thinking
..2..My insecurity tears away at my whole family's security. It radiated out of me and gets in the way of what God has for me and my family
..3.. I have two little girls who I want more than anything to grow up clothed in dignity.. Secure enough to not let themselves be in situations that I have let myself be in.. Secure enough in God's love to not search for it under every rock
4. Dignity means to stop hanging my head in shame over sins that God has forgiven. To truly wear a crown that He has placed on my head
I have to confess that I was just a peeping tom here on this topic. I was not at all that insecure...yeah right! LOL! I am running out right now and buying it. The question about what made me sick and tiered of this state of insecurity got me to he heart of it all. I know that I know that I know God called me to do something and no matter the amount of rejection, I am going to do what I know He told me to do. So chapter 8 here I come! Thanks!
Jodi
40's married
Zagreb
In the first chapters, I was really overwhelmed with all the things our sisters have lived through. I know I am insecure but couldn't really claim the roots of insecurity other than pride, because I had a loving family and uneventful childhood.
Of course living overseas has it's share of ways to humble us as Nicci from Belgium shared being scared not to answer a question right in the grocery store. And I think that is what I have felt insecurity was - God's way to humble me. But now I see it is not His way.
So many of the triggers mentioned were so familiar to me. But then to read that God created me for strength and dignity really made me think.
I thought about it at the doctor's today when the nurse scolded me for my son having dirt under his fingernails and I was able to let it go.
I thought about it when I talked with my husband on skype (he's been gone for 2 months in the states) and he made some comments that I wasn't doing things right or that I should try harder and I was so tempted to just give up and cry. But you know I see now that it's just what the enemy wants. What a relief to let it go and decide to move forward with God's strength and dignity. I honestly think my husband was shocked when I talked to him later, because he expected me to brood and cry as I have done before.
I think alot of what I considered to be "humbling me" was just lies to stop God from showing his power. Not anymore - like Beth said in God's strength let's see this through til the end and we can stand as the women we were created to be.
Beth Moore, I just love you to pieces! God has used you so many times to help set this captive heart free, and I can't thank HIM and you enough!
I am writing my first book and it's about overcoming our self-doubts. Right after I signed the contract with my publisher someone told me the title of your book coming out. I prayed I'd be done before it was released so I would not compare and convince myself that there was no need for my book. But due to all kinds of problems my deadline got bumped out to May 1st. And just like I knew I would, I had to buy your book because I love you and wanted to hear what you had to say.
Can I just tell you what you already know - God's timing is perfect! I have faced some intense doubts, uncertainties, confusion and "I can't do this" moments living this message to the nth degree so I can write it. Your heart. Your honesty. Your confidence in God's promise for victory over us girls who are HIS, your insights, stories and willingness to share your doubts has been just what this all-too-often-insecure heart has needed.
I needed this message and so do so many others!!! In fact, I am reading along with you all here and going to give away a copy on my blog soon! Thanks for being a leader in ministry who is willing to be real - your authenticity along with God's truth and grace set me free years ago and I have never been the same.
May He continue to be made famous through you!!
I've never posted before but I felt the need to enter a prayer request here. I am attending a women's retreat this weekend with women I don't know very well. Talk about opportunity for insecurity to rear it's ugly head! I feel it coming on already, so I could use some prayer! Thank you so much for doing this book Beth!! I'm so glad to be joining you all on this journey!
What I found in ch. 7 that hit me was that I was trying hard to be "put together" on my own. That I felt on my own I was mature, godly, focused and that my eyes where on myself. When the feeling of insecurity came I would ask "Where is God?" - now realizing I had left Him behind when I decided to walk on my own.
3 reasons to deal with it,
a- I want to be healed and I am OVER insecurity!
b- I want to be some sort of example for my friends that they too can find freedom in Christ
c- Most importantly because God has called us to be in right relatioship with Him and I want to live obediently.
My recent trigger was when I found out that my name/email address had been accidently removed from my Bible Study Leader's list, I took it personally thinking I talked/emailed too much and she wanted a break.
Dignity means to face each day knowing God goes before me and I can then face whater come my way, and the He esteems me.
Diana
44
Surrey, BC Canada
re-married
Oh, Beth, thank you for the video. Satan has a grip on my emotions and my security and he's loving it. I did exactly as you said -- I read enough in the book to get to the bottom of the valley, but I didn't keep going so I could get back to the mountaintop. That, along with other insecurity-feeding issues and happenings in my life and especially in my marriage, has just about dragged me under. Thank you for the encouragement. I'll pick the book back up as soon as I can tonight and pick up where I left off. Prayers for this weary Siesta would be so appreciated.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I really thought you were joking about Chapter 7 :o( until I read
"if you think insecurity makes run-of-the-mill parenting difficult, it can make the challenges of stepparenting nearly debilitating" Oh Beth absolutely!!!!
I met my husband 7 years ago and we've been married almost 5 years. I was 23 - still very immature and trying to find my "place" Being a step mother and second wife is quite possibly the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life! For so many, many reasons - but mainly because I want to be first and I wanted so badly everything they had - because I've always felt like I got the short end of everything! And I have been completely out of my ever-loving mind so many times with this situation with my stepdaughter and her mother - part of me feels I have done everything in my power to work things out with her mother, but in the next thought is "but what about all the things I've done to cause her not to want to have anything to do with me?" It's so draining and I finally told God that I forgave of her of everything she's ever done, but that I also forgive her of everything she will do. It helps me keep some peace in my mind. But it still is down right debilitating at times
Truthfully I haven't been doing the study. I have read it when I first got and And thought that it wasn't for me. (boy, was I wrong)I have been doing the believe god study at church. I got so bad Last night I layed out of church, Thoughts of giving up that I was not worthy of any of this. I am not a new christian. I know that this is what the enemy wants me to do. To just Lay down and not fight some days is so hard. So I come home from work, Watch the message you recorded. I know that it was for me. I know that God started this in me and He will Finish it. I just don't want to me in wondering around 40 years. I am going to start the assignments today and start my life of security of The worthiness god says I am. That I have such a hard time believing. Beth I could never tell you how much my heart thanks you for all you do for helping me in the walk. You are loved,
This is for Jo who posted at 8:28 this morning.
I am so sorry! When I read your post my eyes welled up with tears. My heart went out to you. I have felt what you feel right now. I suffered through years of my husband flirting and behaving inappropriately with other women right in front of me too. But he could not blame alcohol since he was most often sober when he did it. It got to the point where I would just retreat somewhere else so I didn't have to witness it. It was too painful to watch. I didn't have the courage to speak up though so the pain and humiliation just festered and my insecurity increased. I wish I had have been able to speak up earlier. Instead, I just kept asking myself "when will I be enough?" I did finally speak up in a 4 page letter to him because I did not have the courage to face him. Things slowly started to change when he finally put himself in my shoes and realized how hurtful he was being. We will be married 15 years this month and it is only in the last couple of years that things have changed. I thank God for touching our lives in a way I never thought possible. My husband is a different man today. He now cherrishes me and loves me and is so sorry for how he has treated me. I will pray that God touches your husband in the same way. I will pray for you as well. God is a God who sees and he sees your broken heart. He is good and there is no limit to what He is capable of. Take comfort in Him.
Jessica
23
Sulphur, Louisiana
Single
1. I can relate the insecurity of using the bathroom. In my school age I was constantly seeking approve-able from my peers. I heard some of them one time talking about how poohing in a public bathroom was gross, and we need to wait to go home to do something like that. After hearing that, that still to this day I can only pooh in a public bathroom if no one else is in there. A fear that someone will know what I am doing, and think that I am just a disguising person just eats me alive.
2.
a. Time to deal with my insecurities because they are causing an unstable pride issue in my life.
b. My insecurities are making me look like a fool in public.
c. They are triggering an uncontrollable set of jealousy to run through my bones almost everyday.
3. There is a woman I admire, and call a dear friend has recently start hanging out with others more, and me less. It triggers an insecurity that she likes me less or I'm doing something that is making her act this way towards me. (Enough every day God shows me that it is not that way. She is being a great steward of God, and tending to others that he puts in her path. I still get triggered.)
4.dignity = a self value that God shows me how much I am worth (the life of his son that is how much I am worth to him), and can not be alter by other idea's of worth.
I'll get to the homework later but I wanted to respond right away to your video before I forgot.
I too had started reading a little ahead and it was like there was "stuff" overload and was really blue for a few days.
I heard God saying all would be revealed in his perfect time and realized that must be why he had me participate in this as I've never done an on-line study. Some of this stuff is just so hurtful to remember and go back through, that I think a little at a time is better, for me anyway.
So I've stopped reading ahead, and am just gonna chill reading-wise for the next week or so until "you've caught up with me."
I love this and can certainly feel it's making a real difference in my life. But I do also think it's got to hurt in order to get rid of it, so am pacing myself.
THANK YOU Beth, you've made such a difference in me understanding myself over the past year. The good Lord has given me lots of lessons to learn along my journey, but thanks to you and your teaching, I know it's a wonderful journey :) My relationship with Jesus has just grown and grown since I began studying with you!
Christine
40s
Married
Cornelius, NC
1. What part of Chapter 7 hit home with you most and why? The controlling mother. That’s me and that was my mother before me and that was her mother before her. I find myself doing the same thing with my 2 year old daughter with regards to potty training. Of course potty training is not easy but I get so frustrated and somehow feel so insecure when I get the comment, “Your child is not potty trained.” One time I had potty bootcamp and sat with her all day in underpants forcing her to use the potty. (I had hear people that did that) I felt so horrible after that because I could visibly tell I was stressing her out. I’ve since relaxed but we are still trying, but I know as a parent there will be more episodes where I could possibly be the controlling mother. I’m 31 years old and my own mother has some of those tendencies - - I don’t believe it’s something we outgrow but the sooner we recognize, the easier it is for us to handle the situations when they present themselves.
2. Based on your journey so far in chapters 1-8, list your own personal top three reasons why it's time to deal with your insecurity.
A) To pursue my passions in life
B) To be more self aware
C) To experience Joy
All of these are inter-related. I have since begun writing again (a passion of mine) and even have some paid writing gigs. Of course I would do it free, I’m so passionate about it. From my writing I have grown spiritually which has led me to seek more spiritual mentors and guidance through teachings from my church and community. The more I seek and read about, the more self aware of who I am as a person. That has led me to write more and the more inspiration I get, the more writing I do, and the more fuel for my passion. Lastly, I have experienced all of this and the unexpected outcome is pure joy. I have never appreciated the happiness in my life until all the events that lead up to right now!
3. Based on Chapter 8, briefly describe a recent trigger of insecurity and whether or not it got a rise out of you. Potty training - - see answer to question 1 above. LOL!
4. Also based on Chapter 8, what does dignity mean to you? Dignity is tantamount to faith - - true faith not only in God and Jesus Christ but in yourself. Being worthy, honored and esteemed in yourself and not looking to anyone else for that feeling. We own our own feelings.
Tammi
44- Married
Texas
Okay, I haven't read chapters 7 and 8 yet, but after watching the video from Beth today, I had to declare the glory of the Lord. It seemed God directed it right to me. When Beth spoke of a "scab" and then used the verse about looking at our face in the mirror, the Lord certainly got my attention. Here in the midst of reading about security and thinking I'm actually pretty secure - been miraculously delivered of a 14-year battle with an eating disorder, persevered through mother's death from cancer and dad's death from sudden heart attack, and endured in the Word through over seven years of severe problems with prodigal son - God brought a new test - just to let me "see" an insecurity I had ignored. Last Saturday, I was boiling water in a pyrex measuring cup in the microwave, and when I took it out, it exploded in my face. I sustained second-degree burns on pretty much the entire left side of my face, with some worse burns on my left cheek and temple. I've spent much time examining my face the past few days, especially the large scab on my left cheek, wondering if there will be permanent scarring. Needless to say, when you have such a problem, you don't forget what you look like, even when you walk away. Currently, I'm leading Beth's Revelation study with a group of about twenty-three women, and I didn't make it Wednesday morning. I realized I'm a bit too insecure to "face" the public without my proper make-up and a disfigured appearance. You would think that with all the other trials the Lord has brought me through, I could have easily "faced" this one...so, I'm learning some great spiritual lessons from being "burned". Sometimes, when God peels back the layers, we are a bit raw and it definitely hurts, but we have to believe that the healing process will bring us into a better understanding of what it means to be a "new" creation...skin and all!
"May my journey be a blessing. May I rise on wings of faith, and at the end of my heart's testing in your likeness let me wake." Getty's
ministered to my heart today.
Prayed for all the Siesta's on this life's journey.
Sheryl
First of all, thank you Beth for your video. It was such a reassuring thing to wake up to this morning!
1. There were so many that hit me with friendships and such, but the one that makes me shudder would be relationships. I can recall the changes I would make in myself to "become" something for a man that I wasn't. I would always and I mean always be interested in their hobbies and let them consume my life. I can look back and I'm so embarrassed because it just wasn't me, and most of the time I truly despised these things.
2. Top 3 reasons for me to deal with my insecurity
A. I want to feel better about myself.
B. I definitely don't want to pass these things on to my children. (and I know they have seen quite a few of them to date)
C. To improve relationships in every area of my life. As I'm sure this has been the failing of past relationships.
3. I have a family that loves and I can't stress the word "loves" to fight and argue. So much to where I have had to pull myself away from them all. I recently received an email from a family member that triggered me. The internet has been a portal for this fighting nowadays. As it's easier to say things in an email than to the person on the phone or in person. Ever notice that? Anyhow, at first I was enraged and defensive, but realized that this was just a way to get me to try and defend myself in a response. As much as I wanted to and boy did I have some ammo to use, I did not respond and did block the email address also. I felt like I had conquered a demon sort of speak.
4. Dignity to me is a sense of self respect that is inward as much as outward.
Wendy
30's
married
Celina, TX
Thank you for the video! Loved every word. I was "Amening" you every step of the way. Praise the Lord! I feel like I can (WE CAN) all break free from this insecurity! By the way, I feel an overwhelming need to hug so many of you new friends. I read your sweet words and your honesty and I can't believe how HARD we have ALL been on ourselves. Why can't we love ourselves like we love each other. Insecurity, you have been a very bad friend. Hit the road and don't come back, YA HEERYA?!?!
1. The part that hit home with me is that "Insecurity can turn a gifted person into the competition". Yes, that is me. When I feel threatened, I shift into overdrive to be the 'best' so that I don't feel so bad about myself. It doesn't usually work, by the way.
2. My top three reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A. I am tired of everything being a competition where I can never "win".
B. I am tired of beating myself up for never being "enough".
C. I am SICK to DEATH of comparing myself with other women!!!!
3. I recently felt insecure when i received a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail. I honestly started to feel insecure, but then I brought to mind that my worth is in Christ alone and I threw away the ad so that I would not dwell on it.
4. Dignity means to me that I am someone worthy of respect and that I can honestly look in the mirror at night and respect myself for the woman I am in Christ (cellulite, stretch marks, and all!). Dignity reminds me that God alone knows my heart, my needs, and my faults and it is not up to be to define myself my any other standard.
Renee Swope, God has called you to write that book! Do you know that, when I started researching this material, I could only find FOUR books outside the Bible to use as sources?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? With women in this shape in our culture, we don't have more people speaking to these kinds of needs? I pray that God raises many voices to speak to issues like these and may yours be filled with anointing and great affection. Jesus is so worthy.
Dear TICKLEDPINK4U, thank you so much for writing our sister who posted this morning about her husband coming on to other women in front of her. It nearly broke my heart, too. I had to just stop right there and ponder that pain. Then, to see yours this afternoon! You gave a testimony of great victory and hope. THAT'S what I love most about this community.
Forgot to add....
Melanie
Married
31
TN
I can't believe this, but this is my first week joining in. I've been reading along but have had both the flu and mono and got a bit behind. I'm catching up, slowly but surely, and wanted to chime in this week!
My answers...
2.
a.) Two darlings in my life, MacKenzie and Aviean. MacKenzie is eight; I met her when the ministry I used to direct did an event at a church I had attended a few times while in high school. Her dad was the janitor on duty that weekend and he had a darling four year old running through the church halls. We were doing an event for girls, so I asked if she could tag along with us. That was four years ago and the rest is history. MacKenzie's mom left when she was three months old, so I get the honor of being a female, maternal figure in her life. Aviean, on the other hand, is four. She is the daughter of my cousin and, right now, she lives 75% of the time with me. I never saw this coming, but what a wonderful, wild ride I'm on. Can you imagine being 25 and single as a slice of cheese and getting to basically raise a four year old? I'm in heaven. (Sorry this was so long. I'm new to this whole pretend-parenting thing and don't know when to be quiet about them. On that note, can I pull their pictures out of my purse and show them to you? C'mon, you know you want to see them.)
b. My future generations. I'm not certain that God has it in His plans for me to marry and have children, but if He does, I would like to pass on a lot of things to those probable children and grandchildren of mine. Insecurity, however, is not something I wish to pass on.
c. I'm having a hard time listing this one, but I'm going to bite my lower lip and just put it on here: I want to lose the insecurity for myself. Actually, I'm not sure that I'm even yet at the place where I truly want to do it for myself -- but I want to get there. I want to be valuable enough to myself to want to live free from the enemy's schemes.
3. I had a trigger of insecurity just earlier this week. An ex-boyfriend of mine announced that he was dating someone new. While I don't want to be back in a relationship with Him (nor does God want me back with him), there was still a bit of a sting when I thought "Why wasn't I good enough?" It triggered that insecurity (and, if I'm going to be honest, has continued to trigger it) but every single time I feel it rising up, I stomp it back down. My value has nothing to do with my relationship status icon on my Facebook page.
My name is Kerrie, I’m from Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, and this is my first time posting.
I am 30 years old and single.
I would just like to say that after finishing chapter 7 I was starting to feel insecure about my insecurities! How silly is that! I was starting to think that the issues in my life were not such a big deal as I assumed compared to the horrible things that so many other women are dealing with. That’s when I reached the realizations that this thinking is exactly was Satan wants and I’m sick of it! Insecure about my insecurities? Seriously? No more!
Questions 2 – It’s time to deal with my insecurity because I’m sick of letting Satan steal the freedom and dignity that God has bestowed on me! Secondly, it’s time to remove the insecurities that make relationships with other women difficult and start enjoying the gift that God has given me in their friendship rather than comparing myself to them and coming up short. Lastly, since when did God say that if you are not married by the time you are 30 you are not as valuable as other who have been “chosen” to be married? That is dumb, and if God chooses to give me the gift of singleness I will find strength and dignity in the fact that he has saved me all for himself, and pure virgin bride of Christ!
Questions 3 – Recently a friend questioned my new workout routine. Right away I got the feeling that I don’t know what I’m doing and who am I anyways to think I know anything about exercise? So yes it got a rise out of me in that I felt discouraged. But then during my quiet time I was reminded that not everyone will agree with everything I do, and that it’s ok to have different opinions. So I let that go and continued to pursue my new healthy choices with confidence.
Question 4 – Dignity mean having worth that is unrelated to the standards that I perceive in our culture. It is directly connected to “the certainty of [my] God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away”. Hallelujah!
Elisabeth
Modesto, CA
20s
Single
Beth, THANK YOU for posting the video this morning. I needed that. badly. Thanks for being our cheerleader. I love you.
1.The part of chapter 7 that hit home most was the part about relationships with girlfriends. While I've been a royal mess of insecurity in every area of my life, this is the biggest area. I do the envious, moments-of-temporary-insanity thing with my friends all the time. It has ruined many relationships and severely damaged others. The ones that are still alive only manage to be because I keep my mouth shut when it rears it's ugly head now. (Although this doesn't solve the insecurity if you're still feeling it and sitting around stewing in misery and lies the enemy would have u believe about yourself.)
2.Top 3 reasons
(In no particular order):
a. Because insecurity has caused me to act out in ways contrary to who I am. And I'm tired of it. No more embarrassment. No more looking back on my actions with shame. No more hurting others. No more being fat because I let insecurity turn me to food. I want to be me, NOT insecure me.
b. Because it's time to live the life I was meant to. God has wired me uniquely and specifically and called me to full-time ministry. He has told me this over and over and over. One of the major reasons I'm 27 and working a minimum-wage job is because I have allowed insecurity to rule every area of my life. As long as it does, I'm not ready for a position like that. And until the last few weeks, I purposely set myself up for failure. I was afraid I'd fail if I allowed myself to be elevated to any kind of influential position. And I was afraid of what others will think of me if I begin my ministry. (I'm meant to be a teacher/speaker. And it scares the crud out of me.) But I need to, I finally WANT to, grasp the future God has planned for me.
c. Because I want to push the limits. I want to see how far God lets me go, how much power the Holy spirit will allow me to operate in, how many people I could possibly influence with His truth. How can I operate at whatever my fullest power and potential are, how can I have that kind of intimacy with the God of the Universe if I allow insecurity to take over? I can't have both things operating!
3. Just this week, in fact, I ran smack into insecurity desperately trying to sink it's claws into me as a result of the actions I've been taking with this book. My best friend and I were going to hang out for a few hours one afternoon. I had been looking forward to it for 2 days, filled to the brim with thoughts and processing about the book and the Breaking Free study I'm in. I couldn't WAIT to talk all about what God's doing in me. Well, her husband got off work early and she texted me that we'd have to hang out some other time. I flipped out. I got so angry and said some very mean things, trying to make her feel bad about ditching me. I was livid. Then, all of a sudden and out of the blue, I saw it. I saw what was happening. I called her right away and explained that insecurity was causing a whole thought process of lies about how she feels about me. I explained that I still need to learn not to allow it any authority, and that I was wanting attention and to talk about these studies with someone who knows me well. And I told her to have a good night with her husband and enjoy herself. It was sad that I allowed it to creep up now that I understand it. But seeing it is progress.
4. This is the first time I've ever said something like this. (I've never believed it before)...
To me, dignity means that I AM worthy of respect. That No matter WHAT I've done in the past, I can hold my head high and it's okay for me to want others to treat me as a Daughter of the Living King. Woah!! That feels amazing to proclaim!!! I think some freedom occurred in writing that!
I didn't answer today's questions in the prescribed manner, but that's okay. I have a confidence to color outside the lines that I didn't know I had.
What part hit home the most...? What part didn't? And then scrolling through the posts, other siestas brought up things I had forgotten. I must be a real mess if I am identifying with so many insecurities. It's okay to be a big mess. I'll just let it all hang out, and then I will know what my weaknesses are so I can fortify myself with God's grace and strength. It was scarey to see all of this at first, but now it's kind of funny. How dare Satan think he can fool all of us with the same crappy stuff? Boy, is he going to be mad, and come back at us. But we are clothed in strength and dignity now. I feel like a warrior!!!! Can the siestas have a war cry?
1) A. Veiled Vision to how blessed I am - I'm surrounded by lots of wonderful people who tell me how much I'm loved and wanted, yet I just down believe them. B. Weighs heavily with weight issues - because I weigh heavily.
2) A. I'm fed up. The wound is deep and nasty (no doubt infected) and in need of the Physician.
B. It's hindering my relationship with others, as well as God. I'm not living to my full potential with this poisonous hinderance.
C. I want to be better. I want to stand secure. I want to believe that I'm worthy. I want to know the dignity that I posses!
3) It actually came from my boss. He said something about me to a handfull of people that had no business being said. It cut me down in front of those people - therefore attacking who I was. I wanted with everything in me to tell him off about everything wrong that he had said and done. By the grace of God I kept my mouth shut, and it eventually all worked out and those wounds healed.
4) Dignity = Honor. Respect. It makes me think of a "dignatary." Someone who we should highly regard. We esteem them worthy of something - be it an office or a crown. (I'll take that crown in Proverbs...).
Sarah; 26; Port St. Joe, FL; Single
I saw the Oprah show yesterday with Jessica Simpson and I was thinking "That has EVERYTHING to do with what we've been talking about the past few weeks!" I've been praying for God to open my eyes and help me be more aware/sensitive to others' insecurities as well as praying for healing in my own insecurities. I've been praying for you ladies here in Siestaville and prayed for all of the women on that show yesterday. Let's not let the enemy have reign any longer!! I'm ready to be free, what about you!!??? :o)
Liz
23
Federal Way, WA
I told my friend who is reading this book with me that I probably wouldn't ever add an answer to this blog. But, God has been cementing the answers to these questions in me for the last couple weeks! So, here I am! (Bam! God is already helping me stand against insecurity!!)
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities:
*My soul is yearning to live as who God has made me to be. My soul is tired of living as the woman Satan tells me I am not.
*So I can love my family, future children and teen girls in my life the way Christ loves. Christ loves courageously, not out of insecurity.
*My hubby and I are tired of me resorting to my dark closet to hide from my insecurity's overwhelming stench...Sadly, this is sometimes literal. I want to go outside and smell that fresh air!!!
Tried to follow earlier advice to click link under the video to see it, and our school filters blocked it, stating it was "R rated". Wow. Sure it can't be, but thought that was funny!
Janae
Riverside,PA
40's
Married
1. How many of our lives are oh so similar and how much my life could be even more powerful for Christ if I left go of insecurity.
2. A. I have begun to realize all addictive behaviors,big and small are a result of insecurity and are not glorifying to my King.
B. Oh to be completely FREE this side of heaven.
C. Everyone in my life will be better off if I am secure in Christ.
3. Any time I am in a group of women, I begin to want to fade into the woodwork. Still happens.
4. Dignity now means that I am worthy of respect because God created me in His image. Period. It isn't tied in to all the good/bad things in my life.
Thank you Beth, for this life changing book!!!
Thank you Beth.
O Miss Beth ~ Thanks so much for the video what an encouragement. Praise the Lord I do want to do it, press pass my discouragment and let my Gracious Father heal me!
Reading these next two chapters was quite a challenge because I did not want to face myself. I did not want to admit that I too, did much of the things that I was reading and how could I allow myself to do them. Thank God for his redeeming love!
Dignity means to me that I can look in the mirror and really like what I see. Me, and all the imperfections that go along with me. I am okay and on my way to ridding myself of the deep roots of insecurity.
I want to deal with insecurities because I am tired of it ruling me. I want to be able to walk tall and not hide from people. I want to walk down the street and just smile because I can.
My most recent trigger is today actually. I am planning a nice dinner for our 5th year anniversary tomarrow. We decided to stay home due to limited finances and have a quiet celebration. However, after my shopping, menu planning, re-arranging furniture, I don't feel like the evening will be a success. Darn that drive to present a sense of perfection! I walked around in Wholefoods for hours trying to settle on what I had in the basket was good enough and telling myself to "stick to the plan". Tired and worn from the mental battle I am now home and have resolved that tomarrow will be a great day for us.
Dawnn
Maryland
42
Emily
35
Portsmouth, England
Married
1. The part of Chapter that hit home to me is insecurity as a parent.
2. a) Because I beleive that God has a purpose for my life - and I want everything he has for me so that I can bring Glory to him.
b) I have two small Daughters. I feel so privaledged that God gave me the chance to raise Godly young Women and the thing I want more than anything is for my 'messed-upness' not to be passed down.
c) I think that dealing with my insecurities will do my marraige the world of good.
3. A recent trigger that did get a rise out me was when I was introduced to someone at church with the words 'This is Emily, she is a real charecter' It bothered me at the time, and if I am honest it bothers me now. I am so different in personality to all my Christian friends and sometimes I wish I fitted the mould.
4. Dignity - means to me, being comfortable in my own skin and being able to hold my head up high in stressful situations.
1) The one that really hit home for me is: Insecurity can keep us from accepting complements and,far worse,from accepting love. I had a step father who I thought the world of, when he left my family it left me devistated. How can I believe something someone says(for example a complement)when people I have loved so much walk out on me.I don't know how to recieve complements let alone know if they are genuine.
2) A. I am over carring it with me
B. It is not who I am anymore
C. It has had a hold on me long enough
3) Someone looked me up on facebook and saw who I was and am married to and I started freaking out because I am a different person today than I was when my folks were going through their divorce. She didn't know me but had heard some half true stories about me and it made me feel so hoorible inside,like I don't deserve this awesome life God has blessed me with because of bad choices I had previously made in my life.
4) Letting God complete me and not feeling like I am not worthy of completion.
Cassie
20's
Bishop,Ca
Okay Miss. Beth I know I missed the Thurs. morning dead line for the session three post, but doctors appointment for a little boys mysterious illness have kept me busy! Oh, the little man is doing okay, not to make anyone worry.
I just want to add that my roots are instability in the home and I'm still a little puzzled by this as I was raised in a 2 parent home without abuse. And rejection is the other root, well there's pride too.
Is anyone else ready for God to burn these roots in HIS burn pile?? I am!
Erika
30's
Albany, OR
Married
Cyndi
50's
Married
Wilmington
1. Top 2 primary roots:
1)Instability in the Home (as a child)
2)A Significant Loss
2. he knows it's scary to be me - He made me - I am not my parents - He will take care of me!
Sadly, I can’t see the video. My computer won’t allow it. I am still on dial-up internet.
Q1. Pages 142 – 143 hit home to me most when you started stating over and over “God knows…” Why? God knows everything we have thought, felt, done and not done and it will all somehow be used for His glory.
Q2. Three reasons why I personally need to deal with my insecurities:
A. It is God-ordained (I didn’t even know I had an insecurity issue until I started reading this book).
B. To please God (He has put this book into my hands for no other reason at this time).
C. For more freedom to do the work He has laid out in front of me to do (wife, my job, Bible studies, etc.).
Q3. I can name several “triggers” from this past week, but here are two. First, a very dear and beloved friend was quite distant the other night at Bible study. Second, I had a friend at work miss-understand me when I told him I was leading a study “out of Isaiah” (he thought I said alliaosaba), and I had to assure him I wasn’t speaking Hebrew and repeated myself (he blamed it on my accent). Did these things get a rise out of me? No. I laughed at my friend at work, and for my friend in Bible study; I prayed my heart out for her. I meant what I said last week about rationalizing rejection; I am NOT doing it any more.
Q4. What I picture in my head is that dignity stands upon a being that has high moral standards and has not faltered from them – a reputation that has nothing but good.
Teresa
Bardstown, KY
30’s Married
That was the fastest I have every read a LONG chapter. It was so interesting that I was through it before I knew it. It might have been the fact that I have been in so many of the same traps as my Siesta's and have felt the same pain and embarrassment in many of those situations.
1)Insecurity can be a relenteless robber. Too often I have held back doing or saying something I felt God wanted me to because I was afraid of blowing it. Also it causes me to want to retreat and hide.
2) A. God wants me to reflect His Son and His image, not what the Devil traps me into thinking I am or am not.
B. My greatest desire is to have my own 29 yr old daughter walk in the truth of security in HIM. We saw your book in Barnes & Noble and she said "that's one thing I don't think I deal with." I said oh honey just read the book and you will discover just how insecure we women are and don't even realize it.
Her response, "Maybe I shouldn't, I'm not sure I want to know."
C. I want to be all that God sees that I can be through Him. I want to say "I win!"
3) Dignity is being able to wear that crown God has placed on my head and wearing it with the same humility and mind set that Ph.2:5-8 says we are to have.
4)Sunday night I took my daughter, her husband & another young lady to visit a new church targeting college age kids. I am trying to get them involved. Being in the midst of all young people and knowing what to say and how to act started to trigger insecurity. I had to get a grip as I felt I had said something dumb to a greeter and then requesting my son in law do something I knew he was already aware of. Oh that ugly feeling came over me and I quickly headed to the bathroom trying to escape any more humility. I came back recompossed where I worshiped my God with praise in song and a with a joyfull heart. I am learning to take those triggers captive and hand them right over to the One who can and wants to deal with them.
Sandy
Deming, NM
Married
50's
Hey Beth!!
I'm not in texas with you :)...well at least not physically...but spiritually for sure!!! I'm following along in good ol' NC.
A) Because I spend wayyyyy more time counting which girls have more facebook posts in one day then I do, etc. and I was/AM tired of wasting precious time!
B) Because whenever I compared myself to other girls I always (no matter who it was) came up short...and I was/AM tired of being discouraged. I want to think I am great and one of a kind :).
C) Because I want to be beautiful not only on the outside but secure in my beauty through and through on the inside. To have that strength!
3) I gave up facebook for Lent...so that I could break myself of this habit of comparing myself (facebook to a college girl is probably the devil's strongest weapon on this planet...seriously). Unfortunately, the other day I got an email about this one girl I always mentally compete with...and I broke down and logged on. As usual, when I had done the damage I felt guilty, discouraged, and like I would never measure up. But...then I realized that I had given in this time, but there were so many more times when I was STRONG. I loved being able to shake it off and think I can do this! So, I have been keeping 2 Timothy 1:7 at the forefront of my mind. Much love Beth. I hope you don't mind I kind of think of you as a second Mom, my first one is absolutely AWESOME...but I adopted you too :). Anyways...I guess the first step is knowing the trigger and from that its a journey out of that danger zone!
1. Insecurity exploded with rejection and twisted my per-
ceptions, which made me do
things I didn't even want to
do, which was a relentless robber
to me!!!! Whoa! Insecurity sent
me into the arms of many unhealthy
male relationships. Thank God He
freed me from these types of
insecurities 11 yrs ago. I married
a Christian man, whom I thought would be the answer to all my Love needs & make me secure. Didn't happen that way. I found myself with someone who had more insecurity issues
than I did. God is so gracious!!!
He opened my eyes to see that He
is the one who is the answer to my Love needs & it is HE and only HE
who can make me secure!!! All the years I spent trying to measure up,
My Savior showed me I had already measured up. He is ALL SUFFICIENT!!! It's to the glory of
My Gracious, Wonderful Father that
my husband and I are still together.
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my
insecurites.
A. To live the life God intends
me to live-in His abundant grace
B. To be able to intercede in prayer for my husband & daughters,and others who are being
fooled by the lies the enemy brings.
C. Stop the triggers in there tracks, so they don't trigger me!
4. Dignity is living and breathing
the truths, that We have been set
free, and We are loved by our Father, who adores us & delights in us. As a result, we are confident and sure
women who live as we are forgiven, loved daughters of the Most High, Who makes us strong in our weaknesses. Dignity is letting the glory of our Savior shine through us, so that He'll be revealed in us!
Beth, in respose to your encouragement and challenge, here are some words the Lord has given me - this today
Dt 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will DRIVE OUT YOUR ENEMY (INSECURITY) before you.
and this from our study -
Psm 112:8
She wiil have no fear bad news
her heart is steadfast
trusting in the Lord.
Her heart is secure,
she will have NO FEAR
In the end she will look in triumph on her foes.
and this blessed assurance is becoming mine-
Dt 33:12
Let the beloved of the Lord
rest secure in Him
for He shields her all day long and
the one He loves rests between His
shoulders - A Holy hug!
My new name is No Fear
Homework #4 still in the work stage.
Julie, 62, married, Boone NC
her heart is secure,
she will have no fear
In the end she will look in triumph on her foes.
#1. The part that hit home was "it's better to stay quiet and be thought a fool than to speak rashly and remove all doubt." I have done this. I react to what someone has said instead of responding in a normal voice & manner.
#2. A. I am nursing grudges towards some men in my family and it is exhausting and debilitating.
B. My insecurities keep me from serving God. It is snuffng out my gifts. pg. 15
C. I need to be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser. God alone is in charge of my destiny.
#3. A recent trigger was this week during a phone call with someone. I tried to say what they wanted to hear and I apologized for saying what I perceived to be the "wrong thing." It diminished my self worth and I felt guilty and foolish.
#4. Dignity. I love your words that I am a God-clothed woman of valor. I have worth because I have divine power in Jesus Christ. I am worthy of respect. I love that. I want to say it every day. "I am worthy of respect."
Thanks Beth for the little video. What a nice surprise when I logged on this morning. It made the Bible Study more personal. Thank you for your encouragement!
Marlene age 61
Married from Michigan
To "Anonymous" painter whose birthday is March 5th! I, too am a painter. I am praying for you. Read the book as you can...and by all means go ahead and cry - I am crying with you - You are so loved by every woman on this blog because we all go through the same things. Motor through as you can and write to me when you are blue. We can get through this together! charlotte2911@yahoo.com
I have to pop back on. This morning I wrote about finding my story in Chapter 7. Having my story in there has been piercing my heart. I feel so exposed even though I am mostly certain none of you know who I am. I don't regret sharing it for the sake of the book, but I so regret sharing it on another level... But then I picked up the book again this afternoon and began reading again and really pondering someone else's story and then accidentally moved onto my story without intending to. All of a sudden the sting was gone. And I first found my story there back in early February. I've been sick about it lurking there in the book ever since. Not only so, but I guess I was finally able to think and read clearly enough this time to take in what Beth wrote just following it and it was so ministering. Wow. Someone here in Siestaville must've been praying for me today. It's been a day!!! The memories and consequences are not all gone, but at least the book has lost some sting. That is a big thing.
Bertie from Houston....you just made me laugh till i cried.... :)
Tami
DS,LA
40s, married
1. Sadly, I relate to many of the examples of how insecurity makes a fool out of us. I am more and more aware that the real root is PRIDE. We are so self-absorbed! Even if our self awareness is negative, it is still PRIDE.
I really appreciate the words of encouragement at the end of Chpater 7. "He has enough security for both of us, and for those of us who call Christ Savior, He slipped His own secure Sprit within our simple jars of clay. It is in you to be secure."
2.
A. I don't want to be a fool anymore.
B. I don't want to miss anything God has gifted or empowered me to do.
C. I'm ready to stop being self-absorbed!
3. My trigger was a bad hair cut...and I walked around in self-loathing every single time I saw myself in a mirror or picture for the last several months. It's so silly, but so hard to not let that trigger get the best of me. The truth is, I liked my haircut, but my husband didn't. Knowing he didn't like it made me feel very insecure about everything! My whole attitude and outlook changed because he didn't like my hair.
4. I'm convinced I haven't got a clue what dignity means, but I'm asking God to reveal it to me. I see the words on the page, but I'm not grasping what they mean to me, personally. Chapter 8 tells me that I am worthy of respect, no matter how foolish I feel, because God Himself gave me dignity when He made me in His image.
Beth,
You know, it's really kinda funny. I knew I had some insecurity issues before I read this book, but now I realize I had more. God's really been on me about these things this week, too. He's got me reading this book, then He bombards my BlackBerry in the AM with devotional emails that yap at me about how I can become more secure in Christ. I'm really starting to think that He wants me to be secure. Which is a total switch to how I have lived my life until recently.
1) I TOTALLY make a fool of myself in female relationships. THAT'S SOOOO ME RIGHT NOW!! My two best friends and I (we are acutally doing this study together, and I sure hope I have the chance to talk to them about this before they read it on here- oops, there goes some insecurity) have been friends for about a year now. And I've got this messed up paranoia that they like each other better than they like me. (It's not like it would matter anyways.) As I've given the issue some thought I realized that it, like many of the other passages, is REALLY irrational. Then I thought about some other insecurities that I have and realize that they, too, are irrational. And somewhat stupid. I can't believe that I've bought into these lies for so long. They are soooo stupid! And did I mention irrational? And they make me do stupid stuff; which I really hate. I'm sick of it!
2)I've got to get over my insecurities for the following reasons: (a) It's LOOOONNNNG past time!!!! Too, long really. Twenty some-odd years too long. (b) If I want to become half the person that I know I can be, I've got to quit hiding behind this fascade of insecurity. And, (c) I can't keep doing this to myself. It's driving me crazy worring about what everyone thinks of me. Who cares really? I'm tired of waisting energy and time on issues that are not producing any fruit. It keeps me from my blessings.
3) My most recent trigger was reading chapter 7. I saw myself in so many of the passages it made me want to hide under my couch. I mean, I thought that maybe I wrote them in my sleep! Oh- and it's got a rise out of me, alrihgt! I'm ready to tackle this ugly thing head on with all I've got and the Army of God that's got my back! BRING IT ON, INSECURITY! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A CAN OF WHOOP-A!
4)I currenly have no definition for diginity. :*( I grew up in an environment that didn't have any dignity, so I wouldn't know it if it slapped me across the face. I figure that it will be whatever God wants it to be in me. It will be His surprise to me. :)
Hope this wasn't too long for you (and hopefully you got a couple of chuckles out of it, I know I did ;) .)
Elaine
married
20 something
Jefferson, GA
Theresa
50 decade
Married
Alabama
Hey Beth...just watched your video for this week. I taught Sunday School a few weeks ago on the scripture from James that you read. James tells us that we must go about the work of Jesus...serve, give, help, and on and on. I have to say that getting up before your peers to teach can be very humbling and believe you me, I've had to overcome some insecurities in order to do that. OK...I'm getting ready to read chapters 7 and 8 and will leave my answer comments when I'm done Love you!
Joyce
Cyril, Ok
50's
In Chapter 7_Rejection and Friendships has been my secret insecurity. I feel like I do not belong, I am worthless, I am not a friend that can join in with a group of ladies and they listen to what I say, because I am not important enough to listen to_what I have to say does not matter.
No one is interested in the same things I am or they do not have time for Bible study etc.
You would not believe how much I have prayed and ask God to help me.
I am leading a Bible study with a group of women now and feel so ashame that I am feel I am not good enough. I am leading a brunch in April so I can make new friends and share God's Word. But, inside I feel like I am sinking.
God knows me and I am praying He will take my insecurity and grant me confidence in Him. His power can change me.
The reason I think God wants me to change is so I do not get discouraged and depressed_trust in Him to lift me up.
My biggest trigger is rejection.
Dignity to me would be not to be sensitive to what others say or think about me and remember what God thinks about me. To be able to not take what is negative and hurtful__so deep into my heart.
Anonymous :0/
40's
Married
1. Insecurity has plagued me in many ways as long as I can remember, as it seems to have a lot of women. We act so not oursleves when insecurity rares its U-G-L-y head. I have found myself acting like an idiot in a female friendship. The e-mail story; I had that same thing happen to me several times.
Then there is the BFF that brings another of her firends to tag along, and then there are three of you...three never works...I'm always the one who gets left out.
Why does it hit home most?
It shows me I am not alone, and it is not the way
I'm to live abuntly.
2.Top 3
A.It has dealt with me way too long. I hate the way it makes me feel.
B. I want my kids esp. my girls to see their moomma as a person who is comfortable in her own skin...not a big insure dufus.
c.Insecurity has been a major part of every area in my life. I deal with fear and anxioty, now I am beginning to see that insecurity may be a root in that or visa versa, I'm even insecure in writing this answer 'cause It may be wrong. And now y'all will now I have fear and anxioty issues...well...darnit,maybe admitting this will help me in kicking its hiney.
3. I have a friend that is going through a rough time, we have had lunch a few times, for the past few months, and I wanted to call her and see how she was doing. She rerely answers my e-mails, or returns calls, but when I see her she tells me to call or send her an e-mail. I can't help but think maybe she dosent want to hang with me, but she is the one who invited me to lunch the last time, and she wanted to have an accountability partner, but I can't help wonder if she is just saying that. say it with me insecurity!
Am I insecure in my answers? yeap. Am I avoiding question 4 'cause I don't have an answer that I think is correct, yeap.
I think I'll reread chap 8.
I really need some sister praying for me. I have fought this battle all my life and the older I get the harder it gets for me to fight. this is how its been since I was a child I'm 34 now. I will Walk with God For a while and then something will come up and I will Fall to sin, And you name it sister I have probably done it. I really love Jesus and I want to do the right thing.
As I am right now I am cryin So hard I can't see. i am Tried and I have cried to god and I don't want to run back to my old ways. I want to live with God and Breath every min with him. But this is what I have done my whole life get, Get so Close and Run the other way. I don;t understand it, I don't understand me. So I really hope that someone will understand this. Or please just pray for me. I want to overcome this and live the life that God has for me. I hope that it is ok that I am asking this.
Newbie alert! Well, to the insecurity discussion, not siestaville:)
(2)A. Time to deal with insecurity because the healthy, whole, secure part of me is screaming to get out!
B. I want to be confident around every type of person.
C. I hope to be a new link of security in my family line.
(3)Recent trigger happened this past Sunday, as I was going to a fairly new church that has not established a permanent meeting place yet. I went by myself, so I was already a little nervous about that. It's a huge gathering (definitely over 1,000 people), and we met in the gym of a school. Ended up sitting in an entire section all by myself until the service started and a few others sat in the same area. Just felt so insecure and was afraid people would think I did not have friends! So silly, but let me tell you, in that moment I was praying hard for other people to sit around me.
Thank you so much for the video Beth.
And thank you so much for ch 8. I haven't read ahead so I don't know what is coming up, but that chapter so far was 'IT' for me!
1. what hit home the most...feeling insecure as a parent and accepting love, especially God's.
Seems so simple to write down but yet the ramifications have been so destructive.
2. I have actually begun dealing with my insecurity almost two years ago. It was for these reasons:
A. I was in such despair I had no choice but to deal with it or I was going to die.
B. Verses like Hebrews 11:6, and without faith it is impossible to please Him, just slew me. If nothing else I thought I need to start believing Him.
C. I have two beautiful girls that deserve a mother who is here in the present and not one stuck in the past.
3. Recent trigger. I had already forgiven my father for something in my heart that I barely could digest in dealing with. But I had forgiven him. Recently, well Christmas time, without him asking for forgiveness I let him know he was forgiven. Our relationship though was so strained and I felt led to offer this to him so we could go forward and try to salvage whatever was left. I was prepared for everything except for how he reacted...it wasn't even denial...but acting like he forgot...he couldn't remember. My sister and I could remember what he did and what he made us do but he couldn't. For a moment it was like salt in the wound being rubbed in. And not even for a father to a daughter, but since he is now a Christian, how could he not even just say I accept your forgiveness when I was offering it to him....I just began to feel that less than worthy feeling in his eyes, in God's eyes again. So hard to explain, that feeling.
But I fought through this and continue to just like how you described on page 149...I made a deliberate choice not to act on this feeling. I grabbed my scripture spiral instead. Before I would have hid in alcohol.
4. dignity to me...believing and knowing that God, the Creator of everything is holding onto me and not just me onto Him. He has me in His hand and is not letting go. When I really allow that to sink in...it is life changing.
Michelle
Vermont
married 40s
Dearest Rebecca, I am praying for you tonight!! Hold on TIGHTLY to your Father! He loves you SO MUCH!!
And, for those of you feeling raw...let me tell you that I was feeling that 1-2 weeks ago too. I was feeling defeated, very defeated. But, chapter 8 has encouraged me GREATLY. God is so good! He will not leave you in that place! Hang in there...keep digging into God's Word and focusing on His Truth in your life...and He will see you through to the other side -- SECURITY in HIM!!
I'm thankful for all of you...that we can share our stories here. :)Praying for the siestas tonight!
Well, Beth and dear friends here - unfortunately, I don't have the book yet..the life of a college student begs my money be spent elsewhere, however, I'm keeping up on here. I don't have the juice of the book, but you guys and your comments do well for the few minutes I have here and there to spend here.
I can, however, answer number two.
My reasons for finally deciding it's time to deal with my insecurities:
1. so that my friendships will no built with underlying fear.
2. it is TIME for me to stop second guessing God and His love for me. HE, the breather of the stars, chases after me. It is time that I stop saying "oh I believe you" and not holding onto His promises.
3. I don't want anyone to end up with insecurity like me. There is a middle school girl, the little sister of a friend of mine, who I have been talking to lately - I pray with all my heart that she can break free of the insecurities I see forming already, ones much like mine. .. because Abba, our Father, has so much more to offer!!
Beth - 20 - Rome, GA
Kristi
Lewisville, TX
late 20s
married
1. Insecurity can make me act like an idiot, turn gifts into competition, confine me, EXPLODE WITH REJECTION AND TWIST PERCEPTIONS, and can be a relentless robber. Here's where all this resonated the most with me: I'm not the only one!!! I knew that, but oh my word, to see other women write those stories out in total transparency was depressing and refreshing all at the same time!!! It was hard to read, but I honestly couldn't take my eyes off the page just because it was so nice to not be alone. Not one of those stories was something exactly as I have experienced, but I have FELT like so many of those ladies! Thank you for sharing and for letting the rest of us know we are not alone!
2. A. Because I'm tired
B. Because I'm making myself sick (emotionally and physically)
C. Because I can't see others as Christ because I'm too busy being insecure and proud.
3. A dear friend and family member recently asked for prayers regarding a situation she could not go into details about. Today she allowed more information out and it was positively exciting. I was jealous that I had not been told before others on the email list because I'm family and the others are not, and because I have told her exciting news in the past before others. There was no inappropriate public reaction, but I was eaten up for a little bit before becoming appalled at my behavior! I still can feel those twinges of frustration and unfairness but I know it's wrong and know it's my insecurity. Just not sure how to handle it yet.
4. What does dignity mean to you? I'm still processing this one...loved the whole section and it did bring much relief. But, I'm not sure.
I do feel a little raw, but in a good way actually. Like I just uncovered a bunch of junk that was causing pressure I didn't realize it was causing and relief might just be in sight. Don't know what to do with it all yet, but I feel like the journey is just beginning.
Kristin
Married
29
1. The repeated texts and calls to our husbands-Guilty!
I loved, though, when you pointed out that if Christ's spirit is in me, than He has confidence for me. It is in me to be secure. Love it and believing it!
2. A. I felt like insecurity was defining my life. I want God to define who I am, not my insecurity.
B. I want my eyes to be off of myself, and for my light to shine for others to see that I am confident b/c I am a child of the Most High God.
C. I have 3 children, 2 being daughters. I don't want them to ever think low of themselves. I want to be an example of a Godly mother who is happy with how her Creator made her.
D. (Can I do that?) I was so convicted that I was questioning/insulting God by constantly pointing out the mistakes he made with me. If only I looked like this, etc...
3. Trigger...Unfortunately, there are many things that can trigger me, but Praise God! they are not getting nearly the rise out of me that they once did. (The ones that resounded with me the most...husband glancing at another woman, friend hanging out with other friend, and offhanded comments from people who think very high of themselves.)
4. Dignity: to possess dignity is to be worthy of respect.
Had to share one of many of my favorite one-liners in this book...
"If we knew who we were and what God has conferred upon us, what everybody else thought of us would grow less and less significant." WOW!
THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH for the video today - it was exactly what I needed to keep going.....I hope that you will do more videos to keep the encouragement and keep the fact that you are right there with us in this journey! THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH! It was a wonderful addition to my day and to my study and to my deliverance and I hope we see you again real soon!!!
2. a) i hate feeling like i need to constantly have a friend/ family member/ boy around in order to feel worthwhile.
b) i am tired of always second guessing myself after finishing a conversation, assured that i just made a complete idiot out of myself.
c) i am tired of needing constant affirmation in order to feel secure in my work - im sure my teachers/ parents/ directors/ friends are tired of it too!
4. i believe that dignity is feeling secure in my identity in christ. i mean, is there anything more dignifying than that? o, to remember at every moment in the day that he loves me no matter how dumb i may sound, and nothing else matters!
Taylor
21
pittsburgh, pa
Linda
St. Paul, MN
Married
40s
1. The part of chapter seven that hit home was the Siesta's description of how insecurity robs us. It mirrors me well: "Insecurity makes us settle. Insecurity makes us distracted. Insecurity robs our confidence in our rich inheritance from God. Insecurity makes us put our gifts on a shelf to gather demonic dust. Insecurity disturbs our sleep. Insecurity derails our life."
2. My top three reasons for dealing with my insecurity:
A. I want so much at the end of my life to hear Jesus say, "Well done."
B. I'm so tired of letting fear drive my thoughts and actions. I want to be strong and laugh at the days to come like the woman in Proverbs 31; and I want to be like the woman described in 1 Peter 3:6b, "And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear ANYTHING that is frightenting."
C. I want to set aside insidious insecurity and do the good works God prepared for me to do, including being a more godly wife and raising boys to love Jesus with all their hearts. And, if God is still leading this way, to finally finish a wonderful WWII biography that I know He called me to write but have shelved for a long, long time due to fear and lack of confidence.
3. A recent trigger was being confronted rather harshly by a woman in Bible study in front of others and not being free to explain or defend myself. It got a huge rise out of me internally, but not so very much externally, only by the grace of God.
4. Dignity to me is being able to walk uprightly before God, myself, and others because I'm rooted and grounded in His steadfast love for me. And having my words, actions, and thoughts elicit respect from myself and others in a way that makes Jesus smile and nod in approval.
Dearest Beth and Moore Girls,
This is my first comment. I am behind in the posts, but not the reading. Oh, I believe I have struggled with some level of insecurity all my life, with a distant and perfectionistic father who I only wanted to please as a child (but whom I adore this day!) and on up to the present, married to a Christian man for 25 years who has repeatedly hurt me emotionally, either by unfaithfulness, deception, or lies.
He has now been caught in an adulterous affair with my dearest friend whom we had taken into our home, along with her 7 children when HER pastor husband had done the same to her and abandoned her financially. My husband was an elder, worship leader, homegroup leader, etc. He has since filed for divorce telling me that he does not love me and that divorce has been an "option" for him for 17 years. We have four children, three of which are grown.
I am not telling all this out of hate or bitterness, but out of a place of deep hurt, betrayal, and wondering what part of me is so insecure that I was not able to confront my husband head on about his behaviors.
I am finding it difficult to concentrate on the material being presented, but that probably comes with the territory. I am also studying "Why Godly People Do Ungodly Things" with the women in our church. Amazing!! :-)
Please know that I am surrounded by such an amazing support group, including the leadership of my church, friends, and family. I serve an AMAZING God and He is here with me during this horrific time. I would be utterly lost without Him.
I will try and make a comment for week four.
Blessings!!
Tracy
CA
46
Kristi
Rogersville, Tn
30's
Married
Wow! The video couldn't have come at a better time for me. This book was bringing up things I thought I had dealt with. I am trying to go to the next level in my service with God. I have been an emotional wreck.
I am so glad that we were to read both chapters this week. Chapter 8 was a turning point for me. I pray I am ready to move forward.
1.The part of chapter 7 that hit home the most with me was how much I could relate to so many of these women. I would never have guessed that.
2. Three reasons to deal with my insecurities:
a. So I can serve in my church in the areas and ways God would have me to.
b. My 7 year old daughter.
c. So I can grow spiritually/personally in Christ every day for the rest of my life.
3. A recent conversation I had with a very dear loved one who isn't sure she is saved. I did everything wrong in trying to help her. I want to get over my insecurity of what I might do wrong in witnessing and surrender to the Holy Spirit to lead.
4.Serving God how He wants with confidence to lean on Him and not worry about self.
I have such a long way to go. I am determined to get through this; to put into and get out of it what God would have me to.
I am praying for each of you on this blog, all reading the book, and all that will be at the conference live or simulcast. God's going to amaze us!
Thank you, Beth, for posting an encouraging video today! I just needed that!!!
Ok, I haven't yet read chapters 7 and 8 (I'm almost done with chapter 6), but I really needed to tell you what I'm dealing with (more for me to express it than for you to read it).
I am SO in the trenches right now! I'm doing Breaking Free AND So Long Insecurity with the "Siestas." My marriage is in the recovery stages after my husband's infidelity, and as I type this it just feels hopeless. I KNOW that God is able and willing to heal my marriage, but there is such a disconnect between me and my husband that I don't know what to do. I even started getting SERIOUS migraines last week -migraines are totally new to me. To say that I'm raw at this point is an understatement.
I KNOW my God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, but right now I want to just give up. I won't do that. I'm just speaking from my emotions right now. I went out and bought new "beauty treatments" and got my hair highlighted and cut. When I got home with my new 'do, my husband just said, "do you like it?" (as if it were just a waste of time and money). I just feel so deflated.
I will press on. I KNOW healing is coming. But the process just stinks right now.
This sounds so negative, I don't often feel this discouraged. I'm going to stay up tonight and keep reading!
Can I just say now that I HATE FEELING INSECURE???????
Top Three Reasons to Deal With My Insecurity:
A- So that my future husband...whoever he may be, can catch a break!
B- So that I can be certain I do not miss out on any good thing God has for me, because I harbored about 2 million "what-ifs."
C-Because I want to be an example.
Recently a good friend decided I should meet her brother-in-law. I agreed to go with them to a particular rodeo to meet him. He would be there becuase he is a stockcontractor. The day before we were leaving to head to the out- of- town rodeo my friend told me we would first be meeting him, all her brother-in-laws, their wives, and her mother-in-law, his mom for dinner. Well throughout the dinner the guy didn't speak, but continued to text and receive calls. It was a bit/alot awkward, but I smiled in my heart and talked myself out of feeling like an idiot. I quoted the verse, about God not rejecting me, but choosing me. Then it was time for the rodeo. So we get to the rodeo, and here comes the brother-in-law, with his European model- looking girlfriend! Turns out my friend was unaware he was again dating an old girlfriend. So I met her, and smiled, and just spent the remainder of the evening talking to God in my heart and reminding myself...I'm ok. God is with me and for me. Oh yeah, and I prayed for her. She looked "perfect" to me, but one day wrinkles are going to be a tad difficult. :)
A shout out to all of you other siestas out there!!!
Let's see:
1. I seen a little part of myself in every page of chapter 7...maybe I haven't had the same circumstances happen to me as those folks, but I could relate on some level to them all. It didn't pain me to read these stories, though. Oh, I feel for each and every precious soul, but it made me realize that others share the same feelings that I do and maybe, just maybe, I'm not crazy after all. (If that makes sense)
2. to finally live and enjoy life instead of letting this insecurity keeping me locked in my comfort zone I call my house.
3. My recent trigger was this very morning. Someone was answering questions about me on facebook and a 'friend', when asked if they thought I was cute, answered no. You know, that kinda stung even if this person is the same gender as I. How did I react? I 'unfriended' them. They were just a friend of a friend, but when I'm dealing with a deep rooted insecurity, I could do without those comments, thank you very much! by the way, I'm not a beauty queen, but I'm OK!!
Dignity for me means being able to accept who I am, flaws and all and knowing that when God formed me, He didn't make a mistake.
Karen
40's
Missouri
married
Brittney
Pflugerville, TX
20's
Married
1. I have to say that I kept saying "did I write this comment on the blog? or this one?" gosh I could see myself in each one of these. On page 123 there's a quote in one of the ladies comments that says "...He made it clear to me that He loved me and I was placed where He wanted me" - WOW I "know" this, but do I really KNOW this! My husband tells me all the time "Brittney, you are so blessed, can't you see that!" but I can't see the forest through the trees sometimes. My husband and best friend are the only ones that know this... but I went to the doctor this week for depression. It got so bad that I was crying EVERY day for a month. I left the doctors office crying because I was so embarrassed that I had to be taking "pills" for my insecurity and my emotions because they had gotten the best of me! I felt weak and VERY insecure!
2. A. Listed above... I am now on anti-depressant pills
B. Because I deserve it and God has certainly "placed me where he wants me"
C. Because I'm tired of feeling pitiful!
4. Dignity: being worthy
I must confess that I have read ahead and finished the book. I will answer this week's questions a little later. Right now I just want to give some praise to my precious Father.
Today I drove 30 miles into the next county to attend a seminar by myself. Because of the work God is doing in my life and the things that I learned in this book, I walked in to that room where I knew no one. I didn't feel an overwhelming urge to run away! I introduced myself to several people and never once sized up anyone. I actually enjoyed the seminar and feel so great about my self and my journey to security. I take no credit and give all the priase to God. That's it. Just had to share.
Tammy
50's
Glencoe, AL
Married
Beth-
Thank you so much for making that video, I am glad you heard God tell you that some of us were starting to drown! I will post my answers later, but I just wanted you to know that!
And one thing I'll add, I quit my job today, because it was making the worst of my insecurities present. So I got up and left it behind. I'm believing God for better!
Rebecca, I also stopped and prayed for you as I read your post. Hang in there!
Hi Beth, the part of Ch. 7 that hit me the most was on how "Insecurity can veil our vision & blind us to how blessed we are". That section on page 123 completley discribes my feelings; my life. Just last year I thought I had overcome my insecurity ... then on my birthday a tidal wave of emotions shook me. I tend to take time off around my birthday and spend some time alone with God (about 2-3 days) and set my spiritual goals for the year. However, last year I had the most difficult time getting focused. I forgave my biological mother many years ago, but the flood of thoughts like; how could she have done that, consumed me. Thanks be to God I kept my appointment with Him and thanked Him for how He's blessed me and my family. My adoptive mom who is 83 soon to be 84 in May lives with us. She forgets a lot of things her Dr. thought she may be in the beginning stages of alziehmers (sp); however, she still recognizes all of us and was able to sign her name on my sissys b-day card this past Dec.!!
Top 3 Reasons ... deal with my insecurity:
1. I've had it, I'm fed up, I'm done with it!
2. Want to be real once and for all and STAND FOR GOD with the confidence that comes from Him.
3. To allow room, so that He can cleanse my heart and my mine that I may love others the way He wants me to.
1. What hit home with me the most was in chapter 7 was the story where insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female friendships. If I feel like I did something wrong in a friendship and I haven’t heard from them I begin getting really nervous. I will think about the situation way too much and like the story I embarrass myself and regret everything that I did. Oh, the foolish things we do!
2. A. In the past I have held myself back from situations of my life because of my fears and insecurities. No longer do I want to be one who shrinks back. I want to be BOLD and FEARLESS, because God created me this way.
B. I want to believe that I am beautiful and that my value is found in God. I want to deal with this insecurity because I no longer want to depend upon my husband for this. Only God can fulfill me.
C. Lastly, I want to deal with my insecurities because I want to have confidence in all that I do. I want to realize my potential and that created me for a huge purpose!
3. A recent trigger of insecurity I’ve had lately happened this afternoon. I found out that this girl got hired at this place I applied too and I also found out another friend got a promotion and raise. I started becoming jealous and down on myself. I was wondering why I didn’t have a job like them. Was it my lack of experience? Was I not that great of a worker? Why is it that I don’t have the advantages they do? Little thoughts like these were prancing around in my brain and it definitely got a rise out of me. But I remembered that I am where I am for a reason and that God hasn't forgotten about me.
4. Dignity means God-given confidence and strength; strength that doesn’t need to be gained but has already been given.
Married
20’s
Charleston, SC
Patty
40'2
married
Lakeport, Fl
1. The part of chpt. 7 that resonated most w/ me:
"Lying has a titanic link to insecurity.... We deceived people out of fear that they will think us ignorant of out of the loop."
I grew up in a small town in south Alabama, in the 70's. One of my pet peeves has always been someone trying to trick me or make me look foolish, even in joking. Looking back, I realize I made myself look the most foolish by my over-reactions.
I cultivated the art of exaggeration/lying to make myself look more intellegent, or sometimes to just feel like I fit in (something I never did growing up).
2. Top 3 reasons why it's time to deal w/ my insecurity:
I'm tired of my insecurity affecting:
A. my relationship w/ my Lord
B. my relationship w/ my family
C. my ministry
3. I recently called my mother to share a great "mountain-top" ministry opportunity I had just experienced. i received (at least to my perception) the response I expected. She half-heartedly acknowledged what I had shared, then proceeded to share her own experience from the same weekend.
Before, this would have made me feel competitive w/ her, or upset w/ her for not validating me or making enough of a big deal over what I had done.
Instead, because I was prepared for my own reaction,I was able to rejoice w/ her over her ministry and only look to God for my validation and His approval!
4. Dignity to me is the ability to be the woman God created me to be without having to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE!
NEWBIE!
Dot
26
Ohio
1.) I can't count the number of times I've had emotional turmoil over something I said!
Insecurity giving a wrong impression: I'm afraid of making a bad impression so I keep to myself which backfires in the end making a cold or snobby impression
2.) a.) Lack of authenticity: I try to be who I think everyone wants me to be and am so worried about their perception I lose sight of who I am in Him.
b.) My marriage is going to be an uphill battle if I can't shake my insecurity. Reality is I won't be the only woman my husband ever sees and I need to find a way to function within that reality.
c.) My own peace: Keeping up the act and trying to please everyone and maintaining an inflated ego is hard work.
3.) Sitting in the same room as the object of my jealousy certainly got a rise out of me: I spent hours attempting to look as desirable as possible and carried myself with a completely fake confidence as if to prove "I'm not threatened by you."
Lindy
Scott, LA
30's
single
1. The woman who said, "I tried my best to get it all under my control, to be in charge and make things the way I wanted them to be." I don't have a husband or step-children like she did but I certainly have control issues!
2. 3 reasons why
A. Because this is where God lead me. He's ready for me to deal with it and I'm in a place where I am ready to deal with it.
B. I know that where I am right now in my life is where God wants me so it's time to accept it and not be insecure about things that I cannot change or God doesn't want to change.
C. Quite simply because I hate giving into "the punk". I'm tired of playing into his hands and giving him victory over me!
3. Most of my triggers right now have to do with my singleness. I don't act out when triggered as often as I used to but more times than I want to I give in. I know God has me still single right now for a reason so I need to accept it and stop feeling insecure about it.
4. To me dignity is accepting who and where I am and being ok with it regardless of what others think.
I just want to say "Happy Birthday" to Anonymous at 9:06 and I want you to know that I will be praying for you-to have a wonderful day celebrating "Beautiful You"-and I'm praying that you won't give up on this book.
I don't have my assignment done yet so I'll have to get back to post that but did anybody else laugh as hard as I did over the guy who couldn't pee if anyone could hear? I'm laughing because that is ME TOO!!!
Marge
50's
Chili WI
Dearest Beth,
I am the one who wrote about reading the book all the way through and that it left me raw. I listened with tears in my eyes to your video blog this morning and I believe I was blushing - even though I was alone. :-) But I did want you to know that I said out loud several times, "Yes, ma'am" to your admonition and encouragement to us. Thank you for what you said. You are being used by our Lord in a HUGE way in our lives.
I love you,
Your soon to be secure sister
Mindy, 28
Married in Missouri
I am a newbie but I had to take a moment to share about my conversation in my small town grocery store yesterday. Beth, I think you might have envisioned something like this happening when you titled your book.
So...I was checking out at the register and struck up a conversation with the cashier, a woman that I know somewhat. An opportunity arose for me to invite her to the exciting upcoming Beth Moore simulcast. Meanwhile, a women who attends church where my husband pastors, enters into the conversation and begins to sack my groceries. I mention to the cashier, named Gina, that the theme of the event is insecurity. The church member blurts out..."Gina!" as if to say "Oh Gina, you should really think about going to that cause you are the most insecure person I know!" Of course, the defensive walls quickly build and Gina responds somewhat sheepishly, "Well I'm not insecure. I am really happy with my life." The church member says "No, Mindy, tell her what it's really about" like there has to be something easier and more comfortable taking place at the event. I stumble through my words trying to rescue the situation..."Well, I am really insecure and it's ok. In fact, the more I read Beth Moore's book, the more I realize how insecure I am. It sounds horrible but it's really providing freedom for me in ways I didn't expect." I could tell by Gina's face, still flushed with embarrassment, that it didn't matter what I said, she was checked out of this conversation.
Oh Jesus, we need your help! We are too insecure to admit it!
2. Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurity:
a: It keeps me from perceiving the boundless love God has for me and keeps me thinking that others are loved way more than me.
b: It isolates me from other people and hinders healthy relationships.
c: I want my children to grow up knowing the freedom and blessing of security instead of inheriting old patterns from me.
3. I told my husband that I didn't want to go on a family vacation because I was afraid the people staying at home would get together and have alot of fun without us. :)
(I know, its bad, but I'm being honest. Praise God I recognized the trigger and recited my spiral scriptures and I'm having victory over those silly feelings.) Bound no more!
Re: Vimeo (Nice Touch!)
Beth,
Thank you for taking the times to share with us...Sometimes reading through the posts I see many women with circunstances & life experiences that far outway my own and maybe God will be more inclided to heal them first! But even if our experience may seem little in co,parison, the impact in our lives can be shattering. I've learned not to minimize the events in my life, because God can and is just as concerened about me as His child to bring me to wholeness. I want my future generation not to struggle with my insecurities!
Patsy
New Jersey
FIRST! COMMENT! EVER!!! So excited!
I could list a whole littany of reasons that I'm bound and determined to get rid of insecurity's grip on me, but it all comes down to only one that matters: INSECURITY IS NOT OF GOD!!! IT IS NOT HIS AGENDA!!! Not only is it not His agenda, it is the ENEMY'S AGENDA!!! There is NOTHING that makes me more fired up than that. My Father in Heaven LOVES ME more than I can even understand- His capacity for love exceeds human understanding. Do I think He SERIOUSLY means for me to be held back by the results of other people's meanness? Ohhhhno. Not one little bit! I could list a million reasons for getting rid of insecurity, but the only one that gets me FIRED UP and SPITTIN MAD enough to REALLY get into it is that not only does it not come from my Father, it gets in the way of me and Him together!!!!!!
Brittney
Lexington, KY
Age: 27
1. The part that hit me the most was realizing how my insecurities have kept me from accepting love. So many times I've wondered if God just tolerates me.
2. Top Three Reasons To Deal with Insecurity:
a. I'm exhausted...and starbucks is too expensive to use as a "pick-me-up" everyday!!
b. My life depends on it and so does that of my future children
c. I want the blessing Christ died to give me. I don't want His death to be in vain in my life!!!
3. I'm a survivor of a school shooting that happened 12 years ago and I just found out TODAY that the shooter was granted a new hearing. This triggered my insecurity like a sudden volcanic erruption. I started to react out of panic...but then I heard God say to me, "Brittney, do you want to go back down this road again??" And I kid you not, without hesitation, I answered out loud, "No! No Sir, I don't. But I don't know where else to go." And in that moment God calmed my spirit and told me to He wanted me to try trusting Him AND believing Him....(at the same time!) and for the time being, by the grace of God, I'm doing just that. I'm going on with living...and God is taking care of the rest.
4. Dignity = knowing that I'm worth it!!!
This is my first time commenting. I related to many scenarios you wrote of in chapter 7. What hit me the most as I've sat thinking over my life, is how I made the biggest fool of myself by making my ex husband "god". When I discovered his many affairs, and even children with other women, I acted crazy in response. Out of insecurity, I stayed with him even though he was not truly repentant. In my heart I knew he wasn't, but I was too afraid of facing the reality of being a single mom of 5 kids. I said I forgave him, and yet I was deeply wounded, angry, and bitter. I lashed out at him verbally, I threw things, I screamed and cried. I stalked his every move. I knew I was unloved, not cared for and that he only stayed with me because, ironically, I was the stable one. But really, my "craziness" and "foolish" behavior only justified (in his mind) his continued unfaithfulness. I acted the fool over and over because my "god" kept failing me. It wasn't until I discovered wholehearted obedience to the Word of God in how I responded to sin being done against me, and trusting in His goodness and love for me, that led me to a new life, both spiritually and emotionally. I am fiercely determined NEVER to replace my God with man again. I will never again allow fear and insecurity to keep me stuck in a pit and in a cycle of sin. Thank you Beth for writing this book. I think you wrote it for me, for such a time as this.
Stephanie
23
Single (in a relationship)
California
1. What hit home with me?
The heading "Insecurity can keep us from accepting compliments and, far worse, from accepting love." I feel insecure sometimes when my boyfriend displays his love for me, whether with words, affection, or expressions. I feel nervous, like maybe it's not really real, it's just a disappointment waiting to happen. That's frustrating. I want to accept his love openly and freely, but it can be very difficult; I don't want to get hurt.
2. Top 3 reasons why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
a) My insecurity is clogging the flow of joy in my life.
b) I'm sick and tired of wasting my energy on worrying about my own worth and how I measure up. I'm so tired of being held back by my own fears.
c) I want to achieve more.
3. Recent trigger:
Just today, I went to the store to return a lamp shade. As I walked up to the customer service counter, I made eye contact with the woman behind the counter and I said 'hello' with a smile. Here's the trigger: the woman didn't say anything back and went about her business like I didn't exist. For a brief moment, I felt kind of small, like maybe I had done something wrong, but then in a flash I remembered, 'No, I am fine, I can lift my head up. This woman is just being rude (for whatever reason).' And so I stood at the counter directly in front of her, waiting calmly to be helped, feeling just fine even though this person had just snubbed me.
4. Dignity:
Dignity is standing with the confidence of knowing that God made you with a purpose and He placed you in every situation of your life for a purpose; dignity is not being afraid.
Hi Miss Beth & sisters,
I just started my readings in this book the other day, but I happy to say that I did get through Chapter 2. However, I need some extra prayers with this "thing", PLEASE ! It seems to me that nearly every time that I do one of Beth's studies like this one, I get extreme challenges in my life that seem to be "thrown at me" during these times.
And, I would almost bet money [even though I don't gamble] that there are others "out there" who are having similar difficulties in their lives . . .
In Christ,
Jennifer
Single
40's
Wisconsin
Just a comment:
"I'm insecure & Beth I think you wrote this book for me..."
Common thread throughout the posts..like the windows 7 commercial...Love it we're all women seeking God together!!
Ann
Janice, 60's
Widow
Lake Forest, Calif
Chapter 5 & 6
As a child, there was instability in the home due to numerous divorces, moments of madness, and financial woes. In addition, I had significant losses while growing up. At four, my favorite babysitter moved away, even as I promised to be a good girl. I felt abandoned. At the age of five, my father died. As I got older I felt abandoned physically and emotionally.
Question 2
In the book it states that the root of chronic insecurity is often the primal fear that no one will take care of us. In our home, there were no hugs and kisses lavished on the children. I never knew people did that until later in life. As an adult I looked for care in one abusive relationship after another.
God has been speaking to me loud and clear since I started this study on unsecurity. Without going into the marvelous details, God totally made it possible to attend a concert of my dreams,around Valentine's Day. Then the next morning,He let me know doors would be opening for me that were previously closed. There was more, but those are the bare bones highlights of God's love experienced by me most recently.
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--Part 1--
First of all, let me say to Beth--Girlfriend, you have got me fired up! I was ready to post my OWN video message in response to yours! Why? Because I had a major breakthrough tonight!! This Siesta is on the road to recovery. I still have a long way to go, but I'm closer than I have ever been before to being all God created me to be! After a 33 year struggle (yes, I've been insecure since birth!) with insecurity, I'm finally starting to get it! I know God said a big DUH-HUH tonight! I'm just so incredibly excited that I have to share this with all of you!!! FYI, I haven't posted anything in weeks so I may just write a book.. you might wanna grab a mocha and meet me back in five because this may take a while LOL
First of all, let me try to explain the role of insecurity in my life because the fact that I'm here and somewhat sane is a miracle! Insecurity is like an addiction to me. Like a junkie, I know it's bad for me.. it's not who I want to be.. but I can't live without it! Ridiculous huh? I know, right?! What can I say girls, my "roots" run deep! I didn't respond to last week's assignment because I COULD NOT narrow down my primary sources of insecurity to just 2! I exhausted myself trying, and then felt like a big fat loser because I have so many insecurities that I can't just be secure enough to just choose a few.. Sigh...You see, I grew up in a very physical and emotionally abusive home. When I went to bed at night, I never knew if I would wake up the next morning. The result? A chronic case of insomnia that I still can't get rid of (look at the time stamp.. it's 2 am now). As a young teenager, my 19 yr. old brother was brutally murdered. That created enough fear and insecurity in and of itself, but my mother became VERY overprotective creating the chicken little syndrome.. I've spent many a day indoors to prevent the "sky from falling". After that I began to look for love in all the wrong places! Result of that costly mistake? A teenage marriage (also abusive) that ultimately ended with a miscarriage and a divorce by age 21. Talk about damaged goods? I was sure that I was broken beyond repair! That is until God sent the most caring, loving, and compassionate man into my life. He loves and serves the Lord..He's a family man.. a great dad to our 3 beautiful children.. an amazing husband (cleans, does laundry, gives massages, and makes time for date night each week so that we stay connected with one another). He has been incredibly supportive of especially in Ministry. Ok, girls, you can stop gagging now. I promise this all has significance.. and it's not to make you sick or green with envy (grin).. My point is that even with all of these blessings, not even a wonderful man like he is could "fix" me. It's not as if he hasn't tried to glue the pieces of my broken soul back together!! Oh yeah, and did I tell you what his spiritual gift is? Encouragement. Boy did God know how important that gift would be in order to be married to a train wreck like me! And if "stupid is as stupid does" then I should feel dumber than dirt because insecurity makes a fool of me on a daily basis. Just this morning I caught myself primping for a hair appointment! After nearly choking from the cloud of Vavoom, I looked in the mirror and questioned my reasoning for that one.. spend 30 mins to style my hair only to have it styled again by a professional. Seriously?! Did I check my brain at the bathroom door? Insecurity makes me cry when there's no good reason... pick out every tiny flaw in everything around me and ESP the flaws in me (oh yeah, perfection is most definitely my favorite form of "art)... hyperventilate when there's no real fear or threat.. only my imagination getting the best of me, scream like a monkey on meth when things don't go my way, and nag like there's no tomorrow when I feel like I have no control over things!
--PART 2--
Ok, so here's the irony in all of this. God has been calling me into Girls Ministry for a while now. And what started as a weekly playdate for my 9 yr old daughter and 2 of her friends , has grown into a weekly Girls Nite Out with almost 30 girls ages 5-12. I would never have imagined in a million years how much passion He has given me for my girlz! My real ones and my "adopted" ones.. Those girls are my heart, and I really want to reach them for Christ!! But me as their leader? Yes, I have a passion for this ministry, but ZERO confidence in my calling to minister!
This week after Girlz Club, I came home to enjoy my weekly pity party complete with cake and balloons! Instead of rejoicing over the amazing things that God is doing in the lives of these girls, I constantly feel defeat in my ability to teach them. Sometimes I get tongue tied (poor Moses.. I sooo know how he felt).. Sometimes I don't feel like I really reach them...I wonder if they like me (it's easy to get caught up in girl drama.. and working with that age group can send your insecurities into overdrive..big time!). blah blah blah! So, I called a conference with God-- listing all of my inadequacies..and then turned in my resignation! Because it's obvious that I can't teach 10 yr old girlz what I can't even understand myself!!
But God wouldn't hear of it tonight!! He spoke directly to my soul.. reminding me of who I am and whose I am! All of the things I've been teaching those girls these last few months, He reminded me. I'm a princess too! Created for a royal purpose.. to bring honor to my King! More precious to him than rubies or diamonds! And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.. I don't have to be gorgeous in order to be beautiful (to Him). I don't have to be worthy in order to find my worth in Him. I don't have to be the best at what I do.. I just have to be willing to do His will. I don't have to be inferior or superior to anyone else..because I'm just enough for Him. I don't have to feel responsible for the bad choices of those around me or even feel like I deserved their abuse.. But I also don't have to nurture hate and unforgiveness for their cruelty because hurting people hurt other people. Being a victim isn't an indicator of my worth as a person. And I don't have to have confidence in my own abilities in order to put my faith in His ability! Because every single tragic circumstance of my life has been created and/or allowed for a "time such as this". WOW! And after He empowered me with the truth, I felt me Him lead me to log in for this week's assignment which I would usually wait until Friday morning.. And there was Beth's video message. I had tears streaming down my face when she spoke of teaching and ministering to "tween" age girls. That God would use such an incredible and inspiring woman of character and grace to affirm his calling for me.. is just too much! For the first time in a very long time, I felt secure in His love for me.. and it's enough!! So, there it is..my heart as an open book. I normally wouldn't be able to do anything like this in fear of "rejection".. I feel very vulnerable through my writing. But you know what, I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm ok if no one reads this post (it is pretty long..lol) I'm just feeling a little free tonight to get some things off of my chest! I'm ready less stress, a little less worry, and a good night's sleep! I don't know about you girls, but I'm tired of Insecurity being my BFF. It HAS been a bad friend for way too long.. so what do you say we get some new ones? ;)
I have a burning question... I have hesitated to write because I do not want to be a stumbling block to others. However, I NEED to know how to make sense in my mind how this process is GOD and more than just "mind over matter". I have been a Christian for years, I read the Word daily & pray, and I memorize Scripture. I just long to really know the "Healer" and to know it is more than my just trying hard to do what's right. Any thoughts, Siestas?
2. A. after reading much of your book I realized that perhaps a lot of the reasons I can't break free on some items is insecurity and the impact it has on me and my family.
B.I have lied to many times because of insecurity and want to break that chain.
C. I want to break generation sin and not pass it on to my sons.
3. The triggers I deal with are binging, anger, deception. I thought about these and I didn't realize how much they are rooted in insecurity. I agree with your statement that you believe that all of your chains somehow were a result of your deeply rooted insecurity (hope I got that right). Time to get rid of this baggage!!!
Andrea
Lancaster, PA
30's
Married
Right on, Beth! We are more than conquerors!
Married/Divorced
33/34
A friend and I are doing this book together. She is divorced due to her spouse's infidelity. My marriage is struggling b/c of the same reason. Reading this book has been so eye opening for both us. We haven't posted before but felt the need with your question on why we have to end this insecurity!
#1 Reason!!!
We have both realized through the hurts and rejections in our lives that we do feel that we are not worthy of love, our feelins are not valid, indeed we are not valid, regardless of all that we have accomplished in Christ. We are both devoted followers of Jesus and seek him in everyway possible. BUT our insecurities are HINDERING OUR WALK WITH HIM!!! What better reason do we have to be victorious over these lies than to do so, so that we may fully walk, hear, and know our Lord? We both realized this is the number one reason we have trouble "hearing" from God, experiencing God, and feeling love from God. And by golly, we are mad! We will not let satan win! We will not let our hurts win! We want God! So goodbye to insecurities! Thank you!!!
I'm sorry I haven't responded in the correct format. I couldn't help it. This has been burning in my heart since we started the book and realized what we had been doing. I had to share! Thanks!
I'm leading a study with the book on Thursday nights. I wanted to thank you for your video post on the blog. I showed it to the ladies last night and it certainly made a point that I was trying to. Thanks so much for taking the time to do that.
Barbara
51
married
El Paso, TX
Dear Anonymous at 11:21pm who was raw after reading the book...Hang in there. As Beth would say, you are so loved! -- by God and by all of us that are journeying along side of you. I had a really raw season a couple of years ago and it took me a while to accept God's healing. Praying for you as we all finish the book.
Marcia,
Mpls, MN
marilyn
61
missouri
1. the thing that hit me most about chapter 7 was the many ways in which we desperate human beings try to fill up our own cups; how little we would settle for and that the miserable little we would settle for.....seems to be beyond our grasp.......PRAISE YOU LORD JESUS. i see myself in many similar situations, over the years, described in this chpater.
2.
a. it's time to deal with the last vestiges of my insecurity because insecurity and the messes and drama it brings is a HUGE distraction from what the LORD is purposing to accomplish in my life. when i'm so insecure that i can't mentally or emotionally get beyond myself.....there's not much room for the bright 'hope and future' God's promised me.
b. i'm tired of taking responsibility for other people and what they think or don't think; what they like or don't like............i'm ready to just be me and to let others just be who they are and to let GOD just work all things out...........in 2 words STOP trying to 1. manipulate
2. control
c. i'm ready to clear my mind and just live what's left of my life in the power and purpose of GOD's plan for my every day.
d. (i know i was supposed to quit at c) and most importantly.........i am sick of giving the enemy any victory over my thoughts and my life. as the years have passed, i've got better at recognizing him. where there's strife and misery, you'll usually find him smack in the middle of it!
insecurity doesn't strike me often., any more...........but often enough. insecurity always makes us feel like LESS than we should be.............less than other people are. there's no support for that in GOD's word.. we all need to remember that valorus (is that a word) proverbs 31 woman and remember GOD sees us as HIS precious ones............precious enough that HE gave HIS only begotten SON for us.
3. i lost my 16 year old daugther 11 years ago, a wound and a loss that cannot be measured. so, b/c of this i have looked to other family relationships to fill this profound void in my life. when my son married, i had hoped that GOD was sending me a new daughter to ease some of the pain of that loss. it didn't work out that way. it was pretty much of a disaster from the get-go. the marriage didn't last. now, my son has remarried and i find myself longing, again, to have a relationship with this new daughter in law that would ease some of the pain of not having my own precious daughter here. but, ..........i have to remind myself, often, that it's a work only GOD can do. as much as i would love a wonderful relationship to grow, it's not in my hands and if it doesn't happen, it's no one's fault. mind you, i have a fine relationship with my daughter in law...........i just long for it to be all that it can be.......ok..........i'd like to feel like she likes me almost as much as her own mother, right??? but PRAISE YOU LORD JESUS every time my mind goes there and i'm tempted to feel slighted, in the least, i have the reminder of this Bible study NOT to go there.............GOD bless us all as we conquer new ground and take back what the enemy has stolen from us...........time and again.
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I have never commented before in my life! Just wanted to say that 2 of my adult daughters and I are going through this together and emailing our answers to one another. From our emails, we are learning so much more about one another. Individually, we are gaining much insight on this subject. I am looking forward to wringing the neck of this "insecurity" creature! Is anyone else seeing a pattern? Rejection keeps showing up in my answers! Discovering the treasure that I am in His eyes...
Gay
Santa Rosa, CA
Married
50's
I have begun to realize that a large part of my insecurity lies in the fact that I keep reading about how wonderfully blessed so many other women are and I compare myself and God's love for me with that. I have decided that in order to let Him heal me I must stop reading this blog, as well as so many others. My life does not even begin to compare with what I read and it makes me feel and think that God does not love me nearly that much, and certainly not in those ways. I just continually beat myself up for not being as talented, smart, witty, beautiful, outspoken, etc. as all of you.
I realized the other day that I have tried so hard to pattern my life and walk with Jesus after all the Bible teachers and blog writers that I have read. I think that if only I did things that way my life would be better, my marriage would be better, my relationship with the Lord would be better, on and on it goes. When it doesn't work out and the rug is pulled out from under me I feel crushed and badly bruised.
So this is the last time I am posting and reading this blog or any other that I have felt the need to read on a daily basis. I will continue to read the book and finish it out, but I believe that I really need to continue this journey on my own so that God can truly heal my hurting soul. I desperately need to hear His voice and no one else. I know there was a time when I did not compare myself with others and I need to go back to that place. I have so often told God that I understand why He loves you like He does, I just can't see that He loves me that way too. I want that so much and won't ever know it if I am continually comparing my life with yours.
Thank you for your devotion to the Lord and to women's ministry. Your study "Jesus the One and Only" was the one that really turned it around for me 10 years ago. I have walked through it twice, as well as A Woman's Heart (twice), Believing God, Daniel, Breaking Free (twice), A Heart Like His, Beloved Disciple, Stepping Up, To Live Is Christ, and currently working through Esther.
Again, thank you and may God continue to bless you and all you do in His name.
(No need to post this, just felt I needed to put it down so I can lay it down).
Patti
Ohio
50's
married
This is for God'sGirlzRock-Part 2
I absolutely loved what you said in your "But God wouldn't hear of it tonight" paragraph. Yes, it was long =) but it was oh so encouraging! If it's o.k. with you, I would like to save those words for future reference because every now and then I need reminding of exactly what you wrote. Thanks a million, no a billion, for your willingness to share your heart. God is great!
Ivy
Georgia
21
single
2.Why it's time to deal with my insecurity:
A. it's effecting the plans He has for me and dreams He has given me to accomplish for His glory. How am I suppose to go live in a country where I literally do not know anyone if I am insecure? How am I going to walk up to a homeless man on the street and talk to him confidently if I am insecure within myself? Now, I have done both of these things, but being insecure while doing it is definately not easy. I have decided that if I am willing to serve God ANYWHERE HE leads me that I have to get my security back! He wants me to!
B.As I have said before, I am a sociology major, I deal with a lot of wordly people, atheists, and agnostics. Now, if I am a light in a dark place for Him...shouldn't I believe that He is able...to use me?!? Insecurity, I have never been more over you.
C.Maybe I am off base here, but I think my future husband (wherever he is) deserves a woman who is confident in her God and has this security within herself.
3. A major trigger for me was at my college campus a little over a week ago. I had taken my sociology of religion test, which I studied extensively for and I knew that I was going to do well. I took the test and I felt pretty good about it. But I have test anxiety so I can never tell:) The next week we were going to get the test back. A girl in my class asked me how I thought I did. And do you know what I responded?!? I told her it was super hard (which was the truth) and that I wasn't sure but I was just hoping for a decent grade. Insecurity all over the place. AFter I said it, I was disgusted with myself. I told her that so when I got it back if I didn't do as well as I knew I was going to do I wouldn't be embarrassed. It has to stop! Oh, I made the highest grade in my college class. Insecurity you are disgusting!
Tammi from 3/4 around 2pm...I had to write a note to you here about your scare! I have so been there. When I was 30 I had what I thought was a dry patch of skin on face. I just assumed hormones from the babies I kept having. It wound being cancer. I had surgery to have it removed. A plastic surgeon(he came in to close what the wound) wanted me to see how bad the wound was open so I would think he was brilliant by how he closed it...I said no but he put the mirror in my face and I literally screamed in the OR. I made the nurses cry! I had over 24 stitches and lost feeling in the lower lid of my eye. Try getting mascara on that without poking yourself a few times and you figure it out!
Once I was bandaged up and my darling husband met me at the door I just sobbed.
It would be a few months before it all healed and I didn't have bandages anymore. But that darn scar...
You see I was cute. I was no Christie Brinkley, but I was cute...and now people were looking away from me or staring at the scar...But it got smaller with time...I had a few more kids. I began speaking at woman's groups again. Eventually I let people take my picture again (scar free side only).
But reading your post touched such a hidden spot on my heart this morning. I love sharing what Jesus has done for me. I love to lead people to prayer. But public ministry? I am middle aged now, I have half a face that looks ten years younger then the other side (now I want them to photograph the side with the scar!) and my teeth will never look pretty. Oh and I am not a skinny little thing anymore either. The trouble is, I know where my gifts are and I know I was called. He called me to write a devotional and I did...but I am a bit dyslexic. Boy was that rough. Even writing here makes me a little uncomfortable...what if someone thinks I am stupid for spelling things wrong. The blasted lies of insecurity! By the way, I am still kinda cute and a smart cookie to boot! LOL!
Your post had me on my face...the young side and old, giving me rug burn on my nose for both of us. Some of us have scars right smack in the face, some of us have scars that run so much deeper in our souls. Imagine if we trusted Him enough to use both? Dear sister, you are one I will pray for by name, as you heal outside and in. Be of good courage dear. We just got to learn the lesson that our beauty is from Him sooner then most girls. Our kinship may not lead to a meeting dirt side, but I will look for you in glory and pray for you and with you until we all get there. There we will be perfected but I just bet we will know each other, right off the bat!
Prayers for your healing inside and out. Love to you, the kind that can only come from Him. Thank you for your post...you just helped me heal a scar all over again.
Can I just say I am so thankful that our Lord led you to write this book?!!!
1. The part that hit home the most in Chapter 7 was, insecurity can be a relentless robber. The part about it makes us settle, makes us distracted, robs our confidence in our rich inheritance from God. Well I could just write that whole thing out because it is so true! Insecurity derails our life...wow my has derailed so often I can imagine what it would really be like on the tracks.
2. Top 3 reasons it is time to deal with this!
A. For myself...living in this pit stinks. It is like I have been prematurely wrapped in grave clothes. Sitting here decaying when there is so much life around me.
B. For my family. Living in a house of boys and being insecure does not give them a wonderful picture of what a wife and mom should look like in Christ.
C. For those I minister to. How can I effectively minister to women who struggle with insecurity if I have not found or am making steps to saying "so long to that friend called insecurity?"
3. Recent trigger.
The other day my husband came home and gave me an update on a friend of his. This friend had made some bad choices and stole a large amount of money and ended up going to prison. The day after his release this man married a wealthy bombshell. My husband shared all about her wealth and then described her vast beauty. Then he said the trigger...."I can't figure out where I went wrong" With my insecurity dealing with being rejected, I said "thank honey" and left the room for the biggest downward spiral.
Cynthia
Arkansas
40's
To Patti From Ohio: I know she isn't going to read this anymore, but I just read her post and have to comment. I have often had the same thoughts. I've been blogging for almost 5 years and since I've started, I often times have thought about how unhealthy it can be for me if I let it. I also would compare my parenting and spiritualilty with those in the blogs I read. I completely understand where Patti is coming from and I so admire her for being able to just cut it out of her life. I love writing and I don't want to let go of the blog as a place I can write so I'm praying that I can find a healthy way to continue to blog and read the blogs of others. I don't want to constantly check to see if someone has read my latest post or left a comment. I don't want to second guess what I've written and wonder if it is too preachy or too "Jesus freak" for my family.
Wow, I think I just realized a new trigger for my insecurity...
Just wanted to say that I will pray for Patti and her journey.
I wanted to share these words of encouragement that God shared with me:
You however continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them.
2Timothy 3:14
New American Standard
to God'sGirlzROCk!
GET IT GIRL! I'm so proud! My heart is just soaring after reading your post - HOW HE LOVES US!!!
You definitely pumped up my spirit this morning.
Praise the Lord for His infinite mercy, His unending love, and the beautiful ones he uses in our lives.
WOW!
1) I related to the story “Insecurity can make us give and entirely wrong impression”(P.130). I don’t interact as well in larger groups especially around people I don’t know. I tend to “listen” more and I feel like some people take that as being a snob or that I think I am better than them, when this is not the case. I don’t want to be that person, so this is something I am definitely going to have to bring to God.
2A) It’s time for me to start relying on God and not my perfectionism because Lord knows that hasn’t cut it yet!!
2B) I’m ready to become independent of the insecurities that weight me down, ESPECIALLY when I don’t even know I have them!! It’s amazing how the devil tries to justify things so you think everything is ok. (i.e. Adam and Eve!!!)
2C) I’m tired of obsessing and letting the devil win the war in my head. I do not want to be an over analyzer. I want to be able to share how God has blessed my life and not be nervous or worried about how people will take it.
3) Two weekends ago, I attended a wedding with my boyfriend. It was for a high school friend of his and I only knew a few people there. On top of that my boyfriends Ex came!! No one knew she was coming and I didn’t have any time to prepare for that and it really caught me off guard. But I want to thank God that He didn’t let the enemy take advantage of that. When I would normally worry and overanalyze the situation, God helped me overcome it. I kept thinking of my memory verse (I picked it two weeks before) “set your mind on things above, not things of the earth” Col 3:2. It’s not about being secure all in one day, it’s about the little victories that make you stronger. And we can do anything through Christ who strengthens us!!
4) Dignity means to be worthy of respect. To be able to handle situations with grace and courage.
Thank you Beth so much for putting yourself out there as encouragement to us! This journey isn't easy but it helps that we have a Siesta Mama who cares for us!! Love ya!!!
Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single
I had a dream last night that I was at a drive through getting ready to order and I wanted a sandwich with some alterations and debated whether or not I could/should order it my way. Then Beth walked up to the menu I was looking at and said, "this is insecurity, order it the way you want it"! LOL
1. What hit me was the recognition with and ability to relate with many of the stories. “Insecurity that is not dealt with is disastrous." My insecurity gives an entirely wrong impression!
2. My three reasons:
A. I need to stop affirming how inferior I am and bask in the fact the “God delights in me”.
B. Because I am tired of insecure thinking that I have to be___ (fill in blank with dozens of things) to be accepted, included, not different, admired, or____,(secure!).
C. I am sick to death of what it’s robbing me of. I want to quit acting like I believe myself to be and know and live like I am who God says I am!!
3. A co-worker pointed out my oversight which resulted in an omission on what I had finished. Praise God it did not get a rise out of me. I was able to treat it as it was, a mistake, pointed it out to my boss as my mistake and it was no big deal, easily handled.
Nise', 49
Married in Michigan
I just started this whole process so am playing major catch up..LOL. Although I am proud to say I had one of those insecurity moments yesterday and didn't throw my usual insecurity fueled tantrum...Yay me, well Yay God but you know what I mean..LOL. :o)I am going to work this week to get caught up so I can be on the same page as everyone else...makes for easier reading of the post. :o)
1. A few section hit home for me - Insecurity can turn a gifted person into the competition, Insecurity weighs heavily on weight issues, Insecurity can veil our vision and blind us to how blessed we are, and Insecurity causes us to accept things as normal that are not.
2A. To be all that I am meant to be in Christ! To stop being scared that other people might not like what they see or hear from me.
2B. I need to be freed of my insecurity so that I will finally love myself enough to stop being such a perfectionist with many things. It gets tiring for me and for my husband and family.
2C. To enjoy life!!! To be proud of who I am and to be a better light for Christ in this dark world.
3. I am currently on vacation and the book has made it all the way to Grand Cayman Island with me. I found it very ironic yesterday reading "So Long Insecurity" while laying on the beach in my swimsuit, wondering if anyone was looking at me. I almost did not turn over on my stomach for fear that everyone around me would stare at my bottom and thighs and think they were huge. I used to be so afraid of swimsuits that I would not even go to the beach or pool. I am slowly, but surely getting there, but I have a long way to go.
4. Dignity means knowing who I am in Christ and respecting and loving myself for that. It means reminding myself that I am worth so much and have tremendous power in Christ to defeat Satan's lies that I tell myself. It also means that I will be free to share God with others and not allow insecurity to drive my actions. Thanks for the encouragement in Chapter 8!
Mary Helen
Dallas, TX
20's
Married
Chapter 7 was not long enough for me! Are you kidding -- there are really others who have done the same things I have? I was so relieved to know I am not the only one. Knowing others go through (and react) the same as I have helps to relieve the isolation I have felt for too long!
Top 3 reasons to deal with my insecurities: 1) to consciously stop reacting to my feelings and KNOW what God's word tells me; 2) I am sick and tired of waking up in the middle of the night and being short of breath because of the fear of financial insecurity; 3) so my family can be relieved of my insecurities!!
Dignity -- to know and feel that I am the daughter of The King.
Cathy, 40s, married
Houston
Hi Spiritual Mom Beth!:)
In ch.7 what hit home the most was mostly at the end-I'm not nearly as fragile as I think I am, and the last story about the girl and her dad; also, secure people live in the light, transparency p.113, 125..A)Insec has been the root of most if not all of my shameful, sinful choices,B)Insec has robbed me of many a potential godly friend/acctablty partner,C)Insec has prevented me from living the full, abundant life-I don't want to miss that! and I don't want to sin against Him any longer. I want to walk worthy of the calling I have received..having my baby girl was the trigger for all my insecurities most recently-Now that we are parents, does my husband still look at me the same way? Even when I'm tired and not feeling like myself? I'm not a size 2 right now. My fam wants to help but their advice goes against my husbands opinion, and I cant please evryone..dignity-a sense of knowing who you are in Christ and living that out in everyday life, just like being clothed with Christ. Being Spirit-filled is prob part of it, bc then you produce all the fruit, and that seems like abundant living to me...I'm glad God completes what He starts:) He's using this in my life right now. Praise Him!:)
Blessings, ((HUGS)), Love in HIM,
katiegfromtennessee
katie
20's
married
Knoxville, TN
1.Pg 122 - I was violated at a young age and found myself soliciting it again and again from the same person and others. until now, I never owned the insecurity that drove the behavior. I was too busy being the victim.
2.a.I am coming out of a major depression and I believe much of it has been driven by my insecurity about my relationship to my husband and family.
b. I want to be free to be me.
c. I want to be a living testimony of freedom to encourage others.
3.My son thanked me for dinner (something he doesn't do often)I knew that it was a dinner that probably wasn't his favorite. I didn't hear what he said AND misunderstood. I immediately became defensive and scolded him. He was understandably hurt. Of course I apologized. The good part, I immediately recognized it as my insecurity that drove the defensiveness.
4. Dignity - Noble, Respect. I looked it up in the dictionary/thesaurus because I needed a word that would capture the picture in my head. For me the word is associated with royalty-nobility, high position in society. Since I am a daughter of the king, I am a respected dignitary by position.
Marcia/50's married/portland,OR
Dignity - something I want so bad and feel unworthy to obtain. I still hear daily "if they only really knew you." My mom was so bitter about the rebellious child she adopted (me) that she literally cut me out of her will and left my brother everything. She even left my children's trust fund for my brother to manage. She instructed and he obeys to never even disclose to me how much or any details of the accounts. It's caused so much hurt as this was all set up by my dad who was so proud of what he arranged - all to have my mom CHANGE it after he died to show me once and for all how mad she was. I have related to everything in this book so much that I could SCREAM! The "I'm sorry" stuff. That is me. That's all I do is say I'm sorry. When my mom was alive I would tell her this so much it made her skin crawl and she would let me know. At my daughter's 3rd birthday party, my mom was so upset with me again. I kept saying I'm sorry and she looked like she was going to puke. My best friend grabbed me and said "Don't you dare say you are sorry another time." I did this so often and I was so messed up insecurity that my kids have seen nothing but. I get to a point of coming so close to freedom but then a major anxiety attack come from normal stress. Or I will see in my children how they can't handle stress because they always walked on egg shells. All because of my own deep insecurity. I balled over the prayer in the book because I want this so much - FREEDOM. I don't want a new car or better body. I want to be FREE. I want to be clothed in such dignity that I would never stoop so low as to say and do the things that are NOT of dignity. I do feel shame and guilt but this isn't because of the book at all. The book is a healing balm.
My top reasons for dealing with my insecurities are:
A. They simply do not allow me to be the wife and mother to my two little boys that God wants me to be and that hurts.
B. They keep me feeling filthy and I want to FEEL completely clean in Christ.
C. I want my husband to experience having a wife with no baggage. My insecurities have put alot of distance between us at times. He deserves a part of me that I don't know how to give him because I haven't quite found it in myself, but I know it SHOULD be there. I keep praying for guidance.
4. Dignity to me is believing wholeheartedly and feeling the forgiveness, cleansing and love Jesus poured out on me and living in it with my head held up in thankfulness and praise! AMEN!
" For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a
good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus"
Philippians 1:6
Hello Beth!
1) The story in Chapter 7 that I most related to was "Insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do," and accepting the abnormal as normal. Been there, done that, have a whole wardrobe of the t-shirts...
2) My top three reasons for getting rid of insecurity:
A. Insecurity is not what God wants or plans for me...
B. I have a beautiful 13-yr old daughter and I don't want to pass this on to her...
C. I'm tired of dealing with the anger, hurt, and waster energy that it fosters...
4. I loved how Kim (March 4, 2010 1:23 PM) defined dignity! She said:
"Dignity to me is seeing myself through God's lens and not the worlds. It is believing I am who HE says I am so thoroughly and completely that my confidence is unshakeable." I agree with that definition and am adopting it as my definition too.
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