Survey Time Again!
*Comments now closed*
*Last call for comments! We will close the post at 9:45 a.m. central time so that we can keep the comments at a number we can manage. Thanks so much, ladies!*
You, my darling Siestas, have become an invaluable resource to this teaching ministry and outreach to women. I'd love to hear from you again on something God keeps talking to me about and going way out of His way to show me. It's the issue of insecurity in women. I've mentioned it in several Bible studies and at various events but I've never taken concentrated time (never had it to take!) to pounce on it and really explore it as a topic all by itself. I'm very impressed in my spirit that the time has come. Below you'll find the answers I'm looking for and if you'll simply number your responses accordingly, you won't need to repeat the questions. Two of the most important things to keep in mind:
ALL RESPONSES MUST BE ANONYMOUS.
ALL RESPONSES NEED TO BE BLATANTLY HONEST! Please don't answer like you think a Christian woman ought to answer. It won't help.
OK, here goes: (Women only please)
1. What age-decade are you in? (Teens? Twenties? Thirties? ...Sixties?)
2. Single? Married? Divorced? Or widowed?
3. How big an issue is insecurity to you personally? Respond with one of the following answers: None at all; A little; Enough to bother me; Pretty big; HUGE.
4. What do you see as the 2 leading sources of insecurity in your personal life? (Use brief answers please)
5. Give this one serious thought: How much would you say a man or men play into your insecurities? (Use only a few words.)
6. If you have something to share and particularly if you feel your pulse rising a bit at the subject matter, write one BRIEF paragraph describing specific impact insecurity has had on you. (We will not be able to post lengthy ones. Please keep these a length many people will read. I think women will be interested in this topic and want to see what everybody has to say. Personally, I can't wait.)
After I see your responses, I may come back and ask a few more things if that's OK but this will at least get us off the ground on the subject. Thank you so much, Siestas, for taking the time and going to the trouble to lend your insight! YOU ARE A WEALTH! And you are making such a difference in our lives here at LPM and the lives of those we have the privilege to serve. I love you like crazy. Jesus is life.
Oh, P.S.!! Do us a huge favor! See if you can get some of the young women in your life who are in middle school or high school to hop on the blog and take the survey. They would lend priceless insight. The same is true for college-age so if you have access to young women, we'd so appreciate you asking them to consider helping us out. Thanks!
posted by Beth @ 9:39 AM
988 Comments
988 Comments:
30's
married, 2 kids
a little bit
not caught up in a man, more in myself and how other Christian women see me... I imagine they think, how can she love God so much and be overweight, talk too much, etc...
It is mostly in my head, and I know that. It is still hard to beat, though.
1. twenties
2. married
3. a little
4. Physical appearance only
5. Men play a significant part in this insecurity
1. Just entered my 30's.
2. Married.
3. A little.
4. The idea that I have to be perfect & not measuring up to that. Need for affirmation & not receiving it.
5. I think my insecurites are more b/c of women.
6. I think insecurity leads to fear...of trying new things, of being truly happy with oneself, of going after your dreams.
1. late twenties...very very near 30.
2. married
3. Enough to bother me
4. finances and relationships
5. very little - unless his name is Satan...
6. I have two: I find myself often thinking that people from the past won't remember me, or wouldn't want me to contact them. No particular reason why - I'm a friendly person, just was never an overly popular person, so I find myself saying, "they probably have no idea who I am" and forgetting it. The second is that I KNOW I am saved. I remember the date, where I was, and how it happened. I was baptized shortly afterward. However, I find myself doubting. It drives me NUTS because I KNOW it happened and yet the devil uses this against me....
1. Forties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Outward appearance & Lack of fitting in
5. Very little
6. I don't seem to click with most Christian women and can't figure it out... Aging can be depressing... I have no great talents and when I pursue something, I tend to fail
1) Late twenties
2) Married
3) HUGE!!
4) I believe I am not pretty enough for people to like me, I am insecure about not having a child and that making me less of a woman.
5) I would say the men in my life decrease my insecurity--I am blessed.
6) Insecurity has turns me into someone who stands on the sideline and is frozen afraid to move forward because of the unkown future and the fear of rejection. Insecurities lead me to rely on what I think other people will think rather than believing the truth Christ whispers over me.
1 - forties
2 - single, never married
3 - pretty big
4 - defined by the opinion of others, emotional needs unmet
5 - men are definitely at the core for me; issues from abuse - emotional, sexual and physical - at an early age
1. late 30's
2. married
3. Pretty big (praise God as we've taken a step down from HUGE!)
4. introverted personality and physical appearance
5. Not at all...my husband is one of the biggest securities in my life. Sometimes my security is too much in him.
6. My insecurities have definitely kept me from God's best for my life. That's what I hate the most!!
1) Thirties
2) Married
3) Pretty Big
4) Ultimately, my refusal to really believe God for who I am in Christ, but additionally, an unhealthy relationship with my mom.
5) I definitely battle insecurity in relationship to my husband, but have always felt very secure in my relationship with my father.
6) My insecurity has created an unhealthy relationship with my husband...it makes it incredibly difficult for him to do ANYTHING right. And, it makes it incredibly difficult for me to function wholly, in any area of my life, as a wife, mom, sister, friend, etc.
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. HUGE
4. my weight and peer pressure (thought these would be gone by my thirties, but the are NOT)
5. very much so. some of it is not getting the attention from my father and some of it is the bad choices i made with my relationships with boys when i was a teenager...these two issues with men changed me forever.
1. Late twenties
2. Married
3. A little (overall); Enough to bother me (body image)
4. Body image & Money
5. Very little - my husband loves my body and he doesn't stress about money like I do. It's basically me comparing myself to other women.
6.
1. What age-decade are you in?
I'm in my mid 20s
2. Single? Married? Divorced? Or widowed?
Single
3. How big an issue is insecurity to you personally?
HUGE
4. What do you see as the 2 leading sources of insecurity in your personal life? (Use brief answers please)
My body (overweight)
Abandonment issues (issues with my mother that reach everywhere)
5. Give this one serious thought: How much would you say a man or men play into your insecurities?
Quite a bit. I feel that if a man could love me they would all disappear so when I struggle with dating, it compounds the failure and insecurity.
6. If you have something to share and particularly if you feel your pulse rising a bit at the subject matter, write one BRIEF paragraph describing specific impact insecurity has had on you.
My insecurity has caused me to hide behind my weight and push people away because I don't think I'm worthy of being loved and don't want to be hurt. I've missed out on a lot.
1. 20's
2. married
3. a little
4. media, money
5. none at all (it's other women!)
6. my older sister is always outwardly perfect (appearance, home, money, friends, etc). I have always compared myself to her and found myself to come up short. She and I talked about it finally after all these years and here's what's funny: she felt that she came up short when comparing herself to me....
1. Thirties - 34, so I can still say "early thirties!" YAY!
2. Married
3. HUGE in certain situations, Not enough to bother me in other situations....
4. I answered "HUGE" for the following reason - my mother. She has the ability to drag me kicking and screaming into a pit. Has my whole life. I feel like I've been beaten up after spending time with her.
Except for that, insecurities will flare up every once in a while (weight issues, mostly) but I think that's pretty usual.
5. My husband can play into my insecurities a lot. Especially on those days where "fat pants" are the only ones that fit. He can also make me feel like a princess.
1. 40’s – 42 to be exact.
2. Married for 16 years.
3. Huge
4. My outward appearance – how people see me on the outside. That I’m not good enough and those who love me now will not love me tomorrow. That I don't fit in to most "groups" of friends anywhere -- church included.
5. A tremendous amount. Most of my insecurities come from the fact that my husband may find someone younger, prettier, thinner, etc. I also struggle with the fact that he may just wake up one morning and not love me anymore.
6. Insecurity has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I struggle EVERY DAY with the effects. It can be centered around how my husband sees me, but it can also blindside me from how I can never remember anyone telling me I was pretty or especially loved as a child. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was loved, but I don’t recall hearing that I was loved very often. Big difference. Sometimes we just need the spoken word, right? Insecurity has affected my marriage – I know my husband doesn’t understand and it frustrates him. Insecurity affects my relationship with my children – when I don’t feel good about myself I project and sometimes on them. Insecurity affects my friendships – I’m never able to hold onto a meaningful friendship for long because I’m afraid if I get too close, they will see the “real me” and not like what they see. Insecurity has affected my relationship with God because I wonder if He even likes what He sees when He sees me. Crazy, huh? You asked!
Beth, please write about this or speak on it or something. I want to be free from insecurity once and for all!!
1. 30s
2. Married
3. HUGE!!
4. My two leading sources of insecurity are...a). not being good enough, and b). fear of failure.
5. When I was younger it was all men, but especially my dad that played into my insecurity. He wanted a boy, and I wasn't it. Now it's only two men - my husband and my boss. If I knew that they believed in me, I think I could conquer the world.
6. I have been dealing with this one for awhile. I really believe that the enemy is using my insecurity to keep me from my calling. He knows that if he can keep me trapped in my bedroom, too afraid to try anything, he will win. He doesn't even have to work at defeating me! He's just sitting back thrilled to pieces that I won't even try. I have to fight back, I CAN do all things through Christ!!!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
1. 50's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. My extended family and always wanting to be a pleaser
5. Somewhat..especially if I don't feel I have done what pleases my husband.
6. My mother died when I was 15. My daddy remarried. I was a daddy's girl. I have always felt I could never please my stepmother. I felt she always put more stock in my stepsister or my stepbrothers' opinions and things they did than me. I never felt I "belonged" with her group.
1. 20's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother
4. Past experiences, fear
5. Not too much
6. I'm very insecure when it comes to my kids and I'm overprotective as a result of that.
1. 60's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Death of husband, financial security
5. A lot
6. If my husband dies before me, the only person I have to rely on is my step-son. We have a great relationship but I don't know how things would be if his Dad were gone. I have no immediate family members living.
1. Late twenties
2. Married with children
3. How big an issue? HUGE. (And that was the word that came to mind in ALL CAPS even before I read the choices.)
4. What do you see as the 2 leading sources of insecurity in your personal life? weight maintenance (I don't have the metabolism of any of my other family members), and continuous broken relationships with other females (friends and family alike)
5. Give this one serious thought: How much would you say a man or men play into your insecurities? Very little
6. To expound upon #4, with regards to the broken relationships, all through HS, college, and newlywed marriage...I don't understand it, and it makes me terrified at the thought of ever having to raise a daughter
1. 20s
2. single
3. a little bit
4. 1- wondering when I will get married 2-questioning whether I have followed where God wants me
5. very minimal...only when my mind plays games with me about what men think of me.
1. Forties
2. Married
3. A little
4. Acceptance by other people--everything I can think of falls under this one category.
5. As a young woman, I would say this was a huge area of insecurity for me. The steadfast love and support of my husband has changed it to security.
6. I've been a people pleaser my whole life, insecure in my ability to be loved and accepted by others. This influenced literally everything I did and said! Deep loyalty of my husband started the change over from insecurity to security, but ultimately understanding my God's complete love and acceptance has healed this area of my life.
1. 30's
2. married, 2 children
3. a little
4. accomplishments of others my age as compared to me, my ability as a parent (most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing!)
5. actually, none. I'm very blessed that I have a wonderful father and husband who are incredible spiritual leaders and influences in my life.
6. sometimes I wonder why I don't have more confidence. To be honest, I'm happy with my looks, weight and overall appearance. My husband says that I see a different person than everyone else does because I just can't get the boldness and confidence that I know God desires for me to have.
1. Late twenties. 27.
2. Married.
3. Enough to bother me.
4. Weight, previous dishonesty in marriage
5. Men play a decent part in this insecurity. Moreso the second part of why I am insecure.
1. 20s
2. Married, 5 kids, 2 foster kids
3. HUGE
4. I'm fat and I pretty much just hate myself all of the time. I'm stupid and not a good person to be around.
5. Men before my husband. I was raped and I ate to hide myself, I still do. My dad was not there and when he was he was a jerk.
6. I am so depressed and I think society makes depression out to be a horrible thing. A disease that shouldn't be talked about. Yes there are the drug commercials, but it's still a taboo subject. I would love to be able to tell someone how much I hate myself and would rather die and go to be with Jesus.
1. 50's
2. Married
3. Huge
4. self talk (I don't measure up to where I think I should be personally & in Christian walk) social snubs mainly from other women (try to remind self, it's what God thinks of me that matters, them remember I'm not measuring up) bad circular thinking
5.Very little
6. Want to stay home where I've carved a comfortable niche for myself and not "risk" being rejected by others.
1. 30's
2. married
3. enough to bother me.
4. body image, intelligence.
5. not enough words.
6. This morning I was in the shower praying about a doctor's appointment I have today to discuss a painful recurring issue. My prayer was mostly for me not to look stupid. I imagine they're writing "waste of time" in my chart. This has been a theme for a long time. I cry whenever I sing that "no one who's hope is in you will ever be put to shame..." song. Yuck!
1&2. 60's and divorced since 1989
3. Pretty big.
4. a) Altho I had an idyllic childhood (sm. town in the south), my mother made ALL my decisions growing up; hard on confidence-building. b) Born a people-pleaser.
5. HUGE - Abandoned by my husband of 20 yrs., after being "dumped" by several boyfriends along the way. Might cal me "unlucky in love".
6. I've shrunk back from any leadership/teaching role due to phobia of public speaking. Whereas you faced your fears & are accomplishing MUCH for the Kingdom, I've not, which is a big regret & further feeds my insecurities. I have been used on a 1-on-1 discipling basis I believe but could have done so much more!
1. 55
2. married 30 years
3. HUGE
4. uneducated,appearance
5. 50/50 male- female, human species. I know my GOD is the only one who accepts me for who/what i am.
6. I am important to whomever needs me at the time. I feel used up. I am not where I want to be spiritually. I worry, complain, & feel not worthy of anyones love.
1. 30's
2. single
3. Used to be HUGE, with God's help it has gone from pretty big and now it at the enough to bother me level.
4. Painful experiences from my past (a life without God) makes it hard for me to trust; Fear of rejection or abandonment.
5. Very much so, particularly in the past. But these insecurities have hurt my friendships with women too.
6. I heard a particularly profound teaching at my church about our negative behavior stemming from one root cause..coupled with your summer teaching on Luke 8. Together, I identified my "root" as a root of insecurity, and have been working with God to replace this root of insecurity with the root of His love. It hasn't been easy, but it IS happening!
1. forties
2. married, one son
3. HUGE
4. my own past sin and the fact that I'm overweight and a victim of child sexual abuse
5. a ton, but not completely ... 18 months of rebellion (sexual sin and an abortion) regarding my own sin and the comments of my father about my weight (which wasn't really a problem when he made the commments). The abuse speaks for itself ...
6. My inability to get past my own sin has lead me to hide in the back of classrooms, in the back of Bible Studies and shy away from deep conversations for a number of years. I wanted very much to serve God but felt spoiled by my actions. My weight only compounds the problem and causes me to want to blend into the woodwork. I know thinking so much about 'me' is prideful and another sin, but I am really stagnant in my walk because of this.
1. 40's
2. married
3. HUGE
4. Source 1- growing up with 2 alcoholic and manic depressive parents....(Can we scream "dysfunctional?)
Source 2- marrying a wonderful, intelligent, and very stoic man who only recently realized he HAD any emotions at all! :)
5. Hard one...I think women (especially mother and sister) had even more impact on my insecurity. I never expected anything from the men in my life, but I always thought connection with other women
would bring my healing in this area. I continue to pray for that. In His time.....
1. 20's
2. Married
3. A little
4. Women friendship and ability to succeed (through comparison)
5. Not at all
6. It seems women don't have loyalty like I thought they would...I compare myself with others and their "success" with family, friends, relationship with Christ, money, etc.
1. 50's
2. married, 3 adult children
3. pretty big at times
4. my male boss, who is a pastor (my husband is awesome).Even though I work side by side with him in the ministry, he still has the ability to make me feel very insecure-I feel I need his approval and respect which he doesn't give to anyone freely.
1.forties
2.married
3.Enough to bother me - keeps me leaning on God
4.financial dependence on husband and parenting children. I am a stay at home mom of 5.
5.My man is my greatest security and losing him is my greatest insecurity
6.My dad died when I was 19 and I met my husband the same year. After we were married, I was scared and would dream that my husband had died. God showed me that He is my ultimate provider and that has brought me peace but it is hard sometimes.
1. late twenties
2. single
3. -personally with relationships (male and female) - HUGE
-every other area of life - a little
4. -rejection from friends
-with men always seeing me as the friend who is a girl, not THE girl
(both can boil down to the feeling of not worth being fought for)
5. more than they should, but I would say MOST of my insecurities come from being rejected / judged by WOMEN in my life (friends NOT family) that I have previously trusted.
1. Late Thirty's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me.
4. lack of support, believing some of Satan's lies about myself.
5. A lot I would say. In fact it could change my whole plan.
6. I know God wants to use me. But I don't have the women accountability or support around me. My husband will "support" me (aka say: "go ahead do whatever.") Those combined, give me the lack of self esteem or lack of courage to step out.
1 - thirties
2 - married
3 - between enough to bother me and pretty big
4 - criticism without any thought of the same plank in one's own eye, unkind gossip about me
5 - not a bit, men aren't catty like women are!
6 - Insecurity has made me afraid to be the strong leader God designed me to be for fear that I'll be criticized for it by women who have been unkind in the past.
1. Forties
2. Married
3. A Little
4. Lack of discipleship in the Word, not knowing who I am in Christ.
5. Men have played a large role in my insecurity. An absentee father left me chasing after boys for attention and approval.
6.It has taken a lot of God's healing to believe my husband when he says I'm all he wants or needs. The proof had to come over time, evidence being that he has NOT left me and is still here!
1. Thirties
2. Married (a little over a year)
3. HUGE
4. Appearance
Marriage
5. A huge amount
6. Insecurity blinds me to how God sees me. Satan uses insecurity to try and shake my firm foundation.
1. late twenties
2. married
3. HUGE
4. never feeling good enough (although through Christ I know I am) and lack of fitting in.
5. more insecure around women, my husband offers security
1. I'll be 40 in January
2. Married
3. Pretty Big
4. Secular World views/the influence of the world on my self-image/body-image
5. I don't think men play into my insecurities in a clearly defined way other than those who perpetuate #4
6. I hate what the world has done to women in my generation and especially the generation to follow. Somehow the world has convinced us we're not good enough. Not good enough as women, as mothers, as anything. I hate it. My 25 year old sister battled an eating disorder. I'm pretty sure the only reason I didn't is because it wasn't prevalent when I was her age. How is it that someone can convince us we don't measure up. Why is it so hard to measure ourselves against who God says we should be and ignore the world? It's maddening. I hate that so many women (myself included) believe the lies.
1. 30s
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Money; feeling like I've lost my purpose/friends/intellect while raising children
5. none or very little
6. I am craving to see mine and other women's security to come from God- but it most often is influenced (positively and negatively) by culture, friends, money, CIRCUMSTANCES! I long to be unwavering in who I am and how I feel about myself.
23
married
enough to bother me
1. parenting
2. cooking (basically feeling like I don't measure with what a wife's "supposed to do")
men have very little to do with my insecurity
1. Late 20's--4 months from 30!
2. Married
3. HUGE
4. Fear of failure (huge perfectionist) and low self-esteem
5. Men used to play a huge role until I met my husband. Every day he helps me to see who I am in Christ.
6. Insecurity causes me to freeze up and not want to get involved in ministry. I feel like I'm not good enough and others would have much more to offer in a ministry position. I will say it's getting better thanks to words of TRUTH spoken at the recent re-taping of "Breaking Free." Thank you, Beth, for helping me to see that insecurity is a stronghold I need to break free from!
1. Mid-40's
2. Married 20+
3. HUGE.
4. Fear of being unloved and rejectd / past experiences growing up.
5. I feel like much of my insecurity is directly related to my husband. Much of which is tied to my appearance. I have a husband who loves me and always took much pride in how I looked. Needless to say, things have changed. I don't hear "you look pretty" anymore - but he does show me loveand tells me he loves me. There are days when how I feel are directly related to how i feel he feels about me. I know it's not healthy, but it is what it is. I find myself jealous of other women my age who look better and seem to be able to catch his eye.
6. I've been trying to work this thing out for I don't know how long. But so much of my insecurities are so unhealthy. When I see other friends relating to my friends in a good way, i get jealous and feel insecure. i feel as if maybe they don't like me as much. But with my husband, it's an awful feeling to not just see myself as God sees me. That regardless of how my husband feels about me, or compliments me - that being loved by God can make me beautiful and feel complete. I have good days and bad days with this but it has been a hoop 've been jumping through for too long. I'm sick of it. So much of how I see myself has to do with the physical part of who I am. There are so MANY women who struggle with their weight and appearance and I don't even know if this makes sense. I'm sorry...I'm just messed up where this is concerned.
1. 40
2. Married 17 years, 5 kids
3. pretty big
4. physical appearance, ability to keep house organized and neat...basically "perfect wife/mother syndrome"
5. not much...mostly self-induced, it's more other women I try to compare myself to that intimidate me and make me feel insecure
1. 40's
2. Divorced - Single
3. Huge
4. Comparing myself to other women & finding myself lacking. Being single for 16 years.
5. 60% men..."why don't you love me?" the knee jerk response of what's wrong w/ me vs a more rational approach.
6. Lonliness & Insecurity are a braided roap of isolation. Where you find one you'll find the other. If suffered from long enough either or both can permanently change who you are (or want to be).
CRITICAL QUESTION: What part does lonliness pay in the insecurity equation?
1. Late 40's
2. Single
3. a little
4. 1. financial. 2. financial
5. very little
6. As I've gotten older have grown significantly secure in myself (who I am, image, etc.)and don't look to a man for fulfillment.
1. 30s
2. Married
3. Pretty big
4. no job (sahm to autistic child) & no friends (no one close)
5. absentee father, explosive abusive step-father, emotionally demeaning ex-boyfriend.
6. We moved every year when I was a kid, so after awhile, I quit trying to make friends. Now I don't know how to let people in.
1. Forties
2. Married
3. A little
4. People-pleasing
5. Very little, due in great part to a healthy relationship with my dad and the terrific job he did (does) building me up.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
1. Twenties
2. Married
3. A Little
4. Physical/Monetary
5. Very Little, accasional jealousy when younger about male attention compared to my friends - but overall pretty confident
6. I tend to be more insecure with other women: wondering if they dislike me, are mad at me, or are talking about me, etc....Always the people pleaser :)
1. 30's
2. Married
3. Pretty big
4. Parental emotional abandonment/verbal abuse and body image
5. Definitely started with my dad
6. Insecurity is slowly being replaced by a more complete understanding of who my God is and who He created me to be. It's a VERY slow process and at times VERY painful as God breaks the old "tapes" that play in my head and transforms my thoughts.
1. 40
2. married
3. a little
4. Enough to bother me
5. others seeing hypocrisy in me, feeling I can't help others (no confidence I could do really any good).
1. 30's
2. married, 1 child
3. Enough to bother me
4. Weight/physical apperance & relationships/friendships
5. some, but it's mostly other women
6. Insecurity is such a battle--it creeps in all of the time, and normally at the very worst time and place. It is one of my biggest struggles, and fuels just about any other struggle I am facing.
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. A little
4. Other beautiful, size 4 :) and in-shape, having it all together women, My husband's standards
5.Men - big time... from my husband; his expectations & other women's outward appearance
6. Mostly it has actually moved me to be more cognizant of my health - to eat better and exercise more; to watch my weight. To keep up my physical appearance (avoiding any attempts to "let myself go" after having children). Though it hasn't at all helped me spiritually - for me that has come directly from God moving my Spirit to study more, pray more, and grow in my relationship with God.
1. 25
2. married
3. HUGE
4. Concerned with not being "good enough" (whatever that means :) and believeing Satan when he tells me I'll never be "good enough"
5. Just a tiny bit. I'm married so I'm not concerned with other men...just sometimes feel I don't make the cut for my husband :(
6. I think my LEADING cause of insecurity is feeling powerless against the enemy's taunts. I know I have God's Word to fight with but I just get so discouraged....
1. I am in my twenties.
2. Single
3. enough to bother me
4. how others view my weight (even though I’m not big), and hearing true guy opinions of girls
5. When I stumble into a “guys only” conversation and hear their expectations of a girl’s body, her roles in the house, her role as a mother and wife, her role in the workplace, I get really discouraged that I will never be able to live up to them.
1.-Thirties
2.-Married
3.-Huge
4.-Fear of Rejection/Failure
-Just not liking who I am
5.-always wondered this ? never abused, father was home although way more involved in my sister's life than mine- as a teenager made many terrible mistakes seeking approval of boys
6.- led to an emotional affair- almost destroyed my marriage-
it also keeps me from getting more involved with things for my son-
Robs my Joy from most social situations
1.40's
2.Married
3.huge
4.My early life. lots of turmoil and very hard to fit in with other kids had to grow up way to fast and always felt different.
my dad leaving early in my childhood without explaination or knowing if he loved me or not. If he left because of my parents marriage problems or if he just didn't love us anymore. He died when I was young and never will know why he never came back to visit us kids or acknowledge birthdays etc.Just a feeling of lack of security. Nothing is for sure not even your dad.
5. Men are a big part of my insecurity
6. Insecurity keeps me from ever feeling free to be me. Always feeling like I need to be who the person expects me to be or likes me to be. Keeps me from ever knowing if I am truely loved for me or just what I do for others.Keeps me from deep relationship with anyone really.
1. 30's
2. married
3. a little
4. a)unhealthy family background & strongholds--that I'll be that way
b) my words
c) weight that I struggle to lose
5. not at all
6. I always second guess myself about what I say to others--how they interpretted it. Satan would tell me that they are mad at me for something I said. Without God exposing the lies, it can ruin a day and WORSE, a relationship.
1. 30
2. married, 3 kids
3. a little
4. what other people may think and comparing myself to others (whether it's physical appearance, spirituality, parenting style, etc.)
5. my man, or men, doesn't really contribute to my insecurities
Sweet Sisters, please remember to make these anonymous! I wasn't able to post several that were SO GOOD because some forgot and posted their blogger IDs. In order to use your vital answers from a survey like this, I can only use anonymous comments. Thanks so much for your patience!
41
married, 4 kids
HUGE!!!
I won't be enough for my husband
HUGE
There was a season in my life where I was paranoid about everything. I wanted to know where and with whom my husband went to lunch, who was calling on his cell phone,etc. It was crazy. I knew I had some business to deal with. I prayed big big, and I had a heart to heart with my husband, who was awesome (BTW), and I am much better. The LORD has proved faithful once again. I do have my bad days where I allow Satan to taunt me, but more often than not, I stand on the Truth!
1. Early Twenties
2. Single (engaged... YAY!!!!)
3. Enough to bother me
4. Trying to live up to unrealistic expectations and not trusting the people in my life to love me like they say they do.
5. Indirectly a man plays a part, but it's related to number 4. I can feel confident around men, but I can feel most insecure around my fiance even though his actions and words show nothing but love.
6. After not dealing with insecurities about certain things, my insecurity turned into anxiety. I wasn't sleeping at night, I didn't eat well. Anytime my daily life slowed down enough to think I was bombarded with anxiety. Thankfully, a Christian friend pointed out the sin that was anxiety. Being reminded that Christ is all-sufficient and I get my power from Him eased the insecurities and anxiety some... but they're definitely not gone.
Let me try again, I think it may have posted my name.
1. 30's
2. married
3. a little
4. a)unhealthy family background & strongholds--that I'll be that way
b) my words
c) weight that I struggle to lose
5. not at all
6. I always second guess myself about what I say to others--how they interpretted it. Satan would tell me that they are mad at me for something I said. Without God exposing the lies, it can ruin a day and WORSE, a relationship.
1. 30's
2. Married
3. A little
4. Growing up very shy and in the shadow of my sisters, loss of ability to have children (not as much now as in the past)
5. Very little for myself
6. I'm the type of person who has an overactive mind. I've always had problems listening to the thoughts in my head instead of believing the truth. I know my doubts come from Satan, but I still have those days when I even feel my best friend doesn't like me. This is something I've worked hard on this year and I am growing, thank God. Matthew 6:27
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. A little
4. Physical appearance isn't what it used to be (a little overweight/out of shape) and feeling as though I'm not knowledgeable enough to do the things I'm called to do.
5. Not much
6. Posting the answer to #4 makes me realize that my insecurities are over things I can change..I'm just too lazy to do it. My biggest enemy is listening to the enemy tell me that I don't have time to devote to these two things. His lies have distorted the truth. I just have to put those things higher on my "priority" list.
1. 30's
2. Single
3. A little bit
4. Outward appearance, perfectionism
5. A lot
32, Married, 2 kiddos....
I have "upgraded" ;) from insecurity being a Huge deal in my life to enough to bother me.
Body image and appearance and not being physically desirable (by American standards) has shaped my insecurities.
I don't think men have much to do with it, even though I was abused as a child.. For me, I am fearful of being judged by women, not men.
I think it is fear based, and also speaks to not being for sure, for sure, for sure of the value I have in Christ. I have times of that surety.. and nothing can break it.
30's
Married
Huge
Husband, family (mother)
Very much so, father left when I was 9 yo, mother said (though I know she didn't mean it), that if I had stayed home the day he came back to 'figure' out whether he was going to stay or not - maybe he wouldn't have left after all…
I EAT my insecurities - the more weight I'm carrying at any given time, is proof that something's not right w/me…
Thank you Beth and LPM for all you do! We love you!!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
1. 50s
2. Married - but not until 45
3. Pretty Big
4. Leading Sources of Insecurity - Inadequacy - never enough and a fear of failing which tends to freeze me into situations.
5. My insecurity is man-related only in that my father is probably at the root of it. He did not know what to do with a daughter and I felt shunted to one side when my brothers were born. I spent years trying to get his approval and did not get it until I married at 45.
6. I know that God loves me and have known that since childhood, but I always felt like no matter what I did it was not enough for Him either. God is freeing me from that as only He can.
1. 46 years old
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me.
4. Fear of failure. Body image.
5. Not men specifically, but people in general.
6. Insecurity is based in fear and pride. Worrying about what others think of me when actually it only matters what God thinks of me. Being too focused on ME. I hate it when I go there. Which causes a vicious cycle!
1. Late 30's
2. Married.
3. Enough to bother me sometimes.
4. Physical appearance; not "measuring up" with other women/moms.
5. My man counters all this very well, I'm very secure in my home. It's other women that bring it out.
6. I'm sure I've missed some great friendships as I've allowed my insecurities to get in the way; I have been qick to make assumptions that other people wouldn't like me or need another friend. The closer I get to 40, however, the less I feel this. I know it was there in my teens, peaked in my 20's and has been getting better every year!
1. Just turned 20
2. Single
3. Let's say inbetween "enough to bother me" and "pretty big"
4. The way I know girls talk about each other, comparing myself to my friends
5. As far as men go, not having a boyfriend makes me feel insecure.
6. I think with insecurity, it's almost like a rollercoaster ride sometimes. I find that some days I feel so confident and not worried a bit about the things that typically make me insecure. Then other times, I feel really insecure and even a little unloved. I guess that's what happens when you try to read your value in someone else's eyes.
forties
married
pretty big
4. financial and relationships
5. men have never been a secure factor for me. Even after being married I still will say don't leave me or if you don't like it just divorce me then.
6. I believe the relationship with my own dad shaped the insecurities with men and defined how God loved me. It still makes me cry when someone tells me you know God really loves you. I just want to say sometimes, Yeah right.
60's
married
pretty big
fear for safety of family members
fear of aging and not being able to be active
fear of coasting and not living on purpose for God
pretty big
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. A little
4. other women; lack of confidence in my abilities
5. A lot. Never new my father. Unaffectionate husband. Men always looking at my outward appearance and not caring about my intelligence.
6. The thing I’ve learned the most about insecurity is that it’s a lie from Satan. Teach your children while they are VERY young about being confident in Christ and who they are in Christ. I think if I had learned that from an early age, the impact of insecurity wouldn’t have been such a struggle. Material things, status, titles will NEVER fulfill the longing in our hearts for acceptance. The world’s empty pursuit of happiness when only true joy comes from God and a thriving relationship with Him.
1. Forties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me.
4. Leaving a high paying job to become a SAHM. And, not having the Barbie doll figure I had 20 years ago.
5. My father was extremely critical of anyone (women especially) who were overweight to the point that he always commented that if HIS wife (mom) ever let herself go, he'd kick her out.
6. God raised me out of the HUGE insecurity pit. But the enemy reminds of it constantly. Bethie, you helped me with this more than anyone. (hugs)
Age 46
Single, never married
Very insecure lately
Source: Worked hard in a company for 16 years. The Lord sent me this job and I loved it. Was blind sided when a man/cousin of new president was brought in over me and my department. I was told to train him but my job wouldn't change. The women who have worked so hard to help make the company great began getting no respect and treated unfairly. I was lied to and about by people/men I had trusted and worked so hard for. Felt led to turn in my notice after much prayer and leading. Company wanted me to stay; I told them I would pray. The Lord sent me to scripture 1Peter and told me to serve humbly...wow, harder to do than I thought. I stayed with the company but continued to seek the Lord.
God stopped speaking to me and leading me. I became more and more insecure. I am still at the same company seeking Gods will as I watch our once Christian lead company be pulled further away from Christ. I have also become more insecure as I see the nation suffer financial set backs.
I am insecure because of my weight. I don't worry; I eat!
Men have played a large part in my insecurities. When you work hard you should be treated fairly. Not one way for a man another for a woman. As I watched Gov. Palin being treated with complete disrespect by the media I even became more insecure.
As a single woman with a very small family (but lots of Godly friends) Satan has used the last 2 years to destroy my security with my work. He has tested my faith when God stopped speaking to me and leading me but praise the Lord...I'm believing God!
1. Forties
2. Married
3. Today – A little. In my past – HUGE
4. 1) As a little girl and teenager, I never felt loved and cherished by my earthly father; at best he was lukewarm towards me and my siblings, but most of the time he just seemed indifferent. My father essentially abandoned my mother and my siblings for another woman when I was in my early teens. 2) I was not raised as a Christian, so I had no basis to look to Christ for the things I was seeking; instead I looked to the world.
5. Given the facts stated in #4, it’s probably obvious I had huge insecurities and issues with men, starting in my early years and continuing through college.
6. Huge impacts in my adolescent years… I was desperate for affirmation from men, but from my dad’s actions and watching what my mom went through, I never trusted that the affections and attentions of a man were serious and lasting. Can you say HUGE BIG STINKING PIT??? I would do anything to get male attention and affection, which led to some really destructive and sinful behaviors – drinking, premarital sex, all the ugliness.... I got pregnant at age 15 but miscarried early in the pregnancy, and to this day, I am too ashamed to talk about this with my Mom. I look back on it now and just weep with joy that I am no longer that person. It also had long-lasting impacts on my relationship with my father, who BTW is not a Christian. It has only been in the last 5-10 years that I was able to truly forgive him.
Sorry so long....
1. 50's - 54 to be exact
2. Married - 34 years
3. used to be pretty big, now just a little...I think age has something to do with it
4.childhood with overbearing mom,
sis was the beautiful one, I was
the smart one..
need for approval
5. alot..but not from my husband
6. my issues mostly have been seeking approval of the way I look, with God's help and your help Beth, especially with "Get out of that Pit" I am learning to seek only God's approval!
40's
married
Pretty big
I have always been insecure, but I think that my husband's responses to me and/or the words he sometimes uses when he is talking to me is a big contributing cause.
I think the biggest impact insecurity may have had on me is that I feel I have to try to fix each situation I find myself or my family in so that I will be useful to others and they will love/like me. This has caused much heartache over the years, but, praise God, He is teaching me that I do not have to do this. He loves me just as He made me, and I am coming to accept this.
1. Late Twenties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Being overweight, not having enough book knowledge
5. Not as much as women. My husband is always saying how beautiful I am and smart. It's the women, how we evaluated each other. That gets to me.
5. Insecurity has caused me to step out of the spot light many times. I have given up on so many opportunities in life because I just felt that I wasn't good enough or that others will think of me in that light.
1. 37
2. Single- never married
3. a little - it is situational
4. 1. anxiety/worry about the future (yes, I know, not biblical) 2. mainly in crowds/conferences where I have that panic of who to sit with. This happens weekly at church. I fear everyone is staring at me as I walk in alone and sit by myself. I KNOW they are not but it feels that way.
5. Honestly, I feel so supported by the men around me - married and single. I do work with a few (I'm in full-time ministry) who often make me feel like my thoughts/opinions are not valuable. That makes me more angry than insecure.
6. I think I'd go back to the "walking in alone" to things. It causes angst. Weddings. Church. Conference. Meals at conferences. Housing - finding a roommate for a conference. It is just tiring even though I KNOW it is not a huge deal, it feels like it in the midst. Oh, and, I am fully aware that women who are married can be just as lonely as I. Just different challenges, not worse or better.
1. Late 50's
2. Divorced after 32 years to Christian
3. It bothers me because I should totally trust God
4. Money;Burden on Children
5. Since I was rejected - some; the God-Man Jesus should answer all my insecurities
6. This past year I have had thousands (a lot for me) of repairs and replacements of almost new appliances - I try to take care of what God gives me - it is all His - I more than tithe to church and other ministries and give to help others. I am learning to trust God for just enough and not desire a cushion of savings that I think would give me security.
1. Forties
2. Single
3. Enough to bother me
4. Never having been married or had children.
Growing up in an non-supportive/negative family.
5. Not much.
6. When I have leaned on God for support, I've been able to do things that my insecurities have told me I couldn't do.
1. Late Twenties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Being overweight, not having enough book knowledge
5. Not as much as women. My husband is always saying how beautiful I am and smart. It's the women, how we evaluated each other. That gets to me.
5. Insecurity has caused me to step out of the spot light many times. I have given up on so many opportunities in life because I just felt that I wasn't good enough or that others will think of me in that light.
1. 30s
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. weight
5. Some men in my life have added to my insecurity and the right men in my life have helped me to not focus on it, they love me for me.
6. It breaks my heart what young women are bombard with these days. On TV, in magazines, just about everywhere. I see young girls in my own extended family and I think, please just know you are wonderful no matter what your weight or what others think about you. You are beautiful! I want to tell them "I promise the right people will come into your lives for the right reasons"
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. HUGE (can I make the text bigger to emphasize?)
4. 1) the media and marketing which makes everything ideal. think about the fact that NOTHING on tv, cartoons, commercials etc. is even presented visually without intense thought to lighting, angles, etc. Even the ugly things on TV are presented in the most ideal light, it makes everyday life look so... slouchy 2) honestly , the fact that my father never seemed to love me makes me feel pretty bad about myself, the devil will kind of whisper "If he couldn't love you who can?"
5. In all fairness, less than I think. 50%
6. Insecurity is my acheles(sp?) heel. The second I begin to feel good about myself it is like my brain kicks in and says," wait that isn't right, you don't deserve to like yourself, who do you think you are?" I operate daily just fine, I have some very healthy self esteem but something deep in me just refuses to let myself feel truly confident in who I am, possibly because too many times I am trying to achieve that by worldly standards, (i.e. the perfect lipstick or behavior or even good deed) instead of relying on who God sees me as.
1. 50
2. Married
3. A little
4. Fear of letting people who are dear to me,even though I know that I am human. Not taking that step that the Lord wants to me take for fear of messing up, Satan has a way of making me feel that it was not the Lords will.
5. A little, Satan has a big role with this one.
6. I have always been afraid to step out and do God's will for fear that it would be to painful or embarrassing to me or my family. I truly love the Lord, but fear what he has in store for me. He usually has to hit on the head in order to get my attention.
1. What age-decade are you in?
thirties
2. Single? Married? Divorced? Or widowed?
divorced
3. How big an issue is insecurity to you personally?
HUGE!!!!
4. What do you see as the 2 leading sources of insecurity in your personal life?
physical appearance and fear of failure
5. Give this one serious thought: How much would you say a man or men play into your insecurities?
every significant blow to my security has come from a male or because of one
6. If you have something to share and particularly if you feel your pulse rising a bit at the subject matter, write one BRIEF paragraph describing specific impact insecurity has had on you. insecurity is a vicious cycle. my insecurities as a child led to dangerous behavior as a teenager which led to insecurities as a young adult which led to an abusive marriage... which could easily keep going on and on. each insecurity seemed to build upon itself until I lost all joy and all hope - no way for an Heiress to live.
1. 40's,
2. married,
3. Enough to bother me
4. Weight, not feeling good enough
5. Some
1. Forties.
2. Married.
3. Pretty big.
4. a) Several very influential and very intentially cruel girls and women in my life when I was a little girl. b) A very loving yet very insecure mother who turned to me for her nurture and support even as a little girl.
5. A father who was wonderful but never hugged or said “I love you” wreaked havoc. (Praise God for healing!!)
6. I’ve been aching again recently over my deep fear of openly sharing Jesus and my love for God with those who don’t know Him. I’ve loved Him since I was small, and had much antagonism and rejection since I can remember for trying to live as a Christian at home, and for sharing my faith with friends in grade school. It kills me that the fear of that antagonism and rejection still grips my heart today.
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Not feeling like I really fit in anywhere; not feeling like anything I do is valuable.
5. Probably more than I think, since my father was abusive growing up, but I haven't pegged men as my source of issues as an adult. My husband is wonderful to me.
6. On the one hand I want to do something useful with my life, thinking that way I wouldn't feel so insecure, but on the other hand I don't want to be noticed or have any attention so people won't notice that I don't measure up. So it feels like I'm just letting life pass me by.
1. Fifties
2. Single
3. HUGE
4. Don't trust God at all. Afraid to put my trust Him. filters down to fear of losing control,fear of dieing. Money is a big. I guess I feel so darn unloved and feel so darn unloved by God.That people, men or woman really don't like me and when someoneshows a liken to me I am shocked and then I wonder I must have done soemthing to earn this. And feeling like I am really not heard in a group of people.
5. Big one. Because there is man I communicate with and he really
makes me laugh and I feel connected to him in that respect.
Been intimate with him. I remember a couple of times he bought me something that would help me feel more sexy and when he bought this particular item I felt like...well you know, a street woman.
6. Big one. I'm almost angry that you ask this! I almost want to say, "how dare you ask this!" I hate this, I'm so consumed with insecurities. I can't think, I'm stupid, I'm clumsy,I'm an idiot. People just put up with me. Christians are phoney but so are the other group. I'm a phoney too. I'm no good.
1. thirties (until January)
2. married, 3 kids on earth & 1 beautiful daughter in Heaven
3. enough to bother me, verging on pretty big
4. I'm insecure about rejection in relationships. Also, I often don't feel like I'm enough...not smart enough, loving enough, pretty enough, etc. Then comes the guilt of allowing myself to have all those insecurities when I belong to the Most High God, for crying out loud!
5. Dad had little involvement in my life and it was mostly not positive. Thankfully, I have the most amazing grandfather who has loved me unconditionally. My husband has also been incredible.
6. Honestly, it's difficult to know what the impact of my insecurity has been.
1. 30's
2. Married
3. Pretty Big
4. Weight, Fear
5. Not much, if any
6. I think being insecure affects every aspect of my life right now. Relationships, church, job, etc.
40's married Huge
sarcastic remarks by others even if just in fun
husbands feedback He is engineer so he views everything from a negative perspective as if it may be flawed and needs fixing--including me.
I'm a stay at home mom so the only adult feedback I regularly receive is from him and usually negative.
also I'm overweight and really self conscience anyway.
Was also always second fiddle to my sister in my fathers eyes and now second fiddle to my daughter in my husbands eyes.
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. physical appearance and feeling like I can't "keep up with the Jones'"
5. Not much. I am more insecure around women...even my best girlfriends. I am not as insecure around my husband.
6. I think I am a good person but never good enough. Never enough money, not thin enough, not friendly enough, not enough friends, not a great mom. I just feel like I'm mediocre and I want to feel confident and worthy.
1. breaking into the 40's in a couple of months
2. Married
3. Between Enough to bother me and pretty big
4. Being left out of the crowd even amoung Christian women and not being a good enough wife for my husband to stay with forever.
5. Minor Role
6. Insecurity with being left out of the crowd leads me to always second-guessing my friends. Are they gathering without me because of something of done or said? Do they get together without me and the kids because they don't like my kids? Are we no fun to be around? and the list goes on and on in my head. For some reason it has prevented me from forging ahead in Christ and that is the biggest bummer.
1. 39 -- I'm on the cusp
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. (1) Depressed Mom
(2) Workaholic Dad
5. I have struggled with father-figure issues and that has been the basis of many decisions I've made -- the "Dad! Dad! Look at me" factor still haunts me.
6. I have made decisions based on what I thought other people -- particularly the men in my life -- wanted. It's difficult for me to see God as a Father who loves me no matter what and isn't looking for some specific action from me that I have to guess at.
50's
married, 3 kids, 2 grandkids
a big part
my dad very critical of me in every way especially appearance
my husband very critical in the same way, it used to be really abusive actually better now.
My life has been crippled in many ways due to this, I walk in a some hard won victory and freedom thanks to Christ
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. physical appearance and feeling like I can't "keep up with the Jones'"
5. Not much. I am more insecure around women...even my best girlfriends. I am not as insecure around my husband.
6. I think I am a good person but never good enough. Never enough money, not thin enough, not friendly enough, not enough friends, not a great mom. I just feel like I'm mediocre and I want to feel confident and worthy.
1. Thirties – pushing forty hard
2. Married – 4 kids
3. HUGE
4. Being sexually abused as a child and raped in college; knowing but not truly believing the identity I have in Christ trumps how I measure up by the worlds standards of beauty
5. Pretty significant…don’t feel like I fit the mold of what men call “beautiful”
6. Insecurity and self-hatred have been internally debilitating at times. I fight a continual battle in my mind feeling fat, unattractive, and attached to the exterior appearance. The size 12 stamped on the tag of my jeans often overshadows God’s opinion of me. My sense of identity and security seems to be bound to my pant size. I hate it, but no amount of speaking God’s truth and claiming His word seem to overpower the voices of condemnation within my head.
1- FIFTIES
2- DIVORCED
3- ENOUGH TO BOTHER ME
4- APPEARANCE & CO-DEPENDENCE
5- MUCH
6- Going through a divorce many years ago revealed many insecurities. The Lord has done a mighty work of grace in me, and He is continuing to show Himself to be completely trustworthy.
1. Thirties
2. Single
3. Pretty Big
4. Weight, that I'm possibly not where society deems I should be at this point in my life
5. Quite a bit - I think men don't want me because I'm not an ideal size and therefore I get left behind for the prettier girls - which are all around me.
6. It's not so much that my pulse rises, but that my stomach sinks. I know I'm insecure even though I hear all of the reason that I shouldn't be. I know I'm a beloved child of God, but sometimes that doesn't sink in past the worldy exterior that we all seem to wear everyday.
My biggest insecurity is being wanted by men. Starting with my biological father and then proceeding on to guys my age. I feel like I've tried everything - from being an overachiever to giving up every part of me repeatedly to men, all to find that none of it works in the long run.
At least I'm at a point that I've realized that those things DON'T work. I'm just wondering when they will start to not matter quite so much...
40'5
married
HUGE
Never felt "good enough"--my weight issue
70%-men; 30%-other
Having dealt with panic attacks for 20+ years now, I'm insecure when I have to go out to work, to stores, and even to church. I just want to stay home. This has held me back from the person I could be, should be... :-(
I answered and had one additional thought - it is really women, not men that create greater insecurity. There seems to be a continual spirit of comparison among women (myself included)...trying to figure out where you fit in and if you measure up. YUCK!! Please speak to this issue Beth - Women are desperate to free of this bondage...
40's
married with twin boys
a little
physical appearance and feeling like I have to be perfect
i think it comes from other women
I think insecurity comes from fear that you may fail or not quite measure up so I sometimes give up before I have taken the leap.
1. 20s
2. Single (and happy I might add)
3. Enough to bother me
4. One: I am a stinking perfectionist! I'm terrified to make mistakes.
Two: What others may think and who would or would not agree with me.
5. Give this one serious thought: In this season very little to none at all. It's people in general, not gender specific.
6. Where I notice insecurity most is when I try to share my faith with non-believers (especially family!). I know what I believe and nobody's shaking that foundation but I don't like when people dare to disagree with me. I may be insecure in other areas but somehow I can usually talk myself into bravery. But this one's hard!
1.30s
2.Married
3.Pretty big
4.(1)Not believing I am who Christ says I am. It's in my head, not always in my heart.(2)Being a SAHM since age 17 has had me believing I'm not good at anything else.
5. Men don't play a role in my insecurities.
6. My children are nearly grown and I want to step out into other things. I often times do not feel smart enough or equipped enough to do anything other than take care of my home. Specifically, I want to write, but though I have great abitions, I feel totally incapable of accomplishing anything great in this area.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
1. 40's
2. married
3. a little
4. I tend to be a little judgemental myself, so i see others as judging me.
5. none, I don't ever seem to be concerned about what men are thinking, only women.
1.Late 20's
2.Married, 2 kids
3.Huge
4.Appearance and not being good enough
5.not at all....it is other women
6.I have found myself become a hermit and hide behind my husband. I fear that I won't fit in and I tend to keep to myself, which makes others think I'm a snob instead of shy.
I alreay answered this but I want to add my support for those women who talked about the bahavior of other women as adding to insecurity. Every time I put on pants I think about a junior high incident where some girl asked my friend why she would like me when I wore such weird clothes. I want to tell the young women in my life that relationships with women get easier after junior high, but I just can't.
1. Twenties
2. Single
3. Enough to bother me
4. Health issues (physical appearance), social status
5. A lot
1. 50's
2. Married
3. Alittle
4. Failing God and my appearance
5. When I was a teenager, guys were a huge part of my insecurity but honestly not so much any more. My husband loves me to death and he is the only important male in my life, right now.
6.There is one incident when I was probably 14 or 15, a guy made fun of my appearance and sometimes that still pops into my head when I am feeling insecure about my appearance now. But I know that is a lie from satan and I refuse to believe it. You would think he would eventually give up.
I sent the link for this blog to my younger staff, hopefully you will hear from them.
1. 20's
2. married
3. a little
4. A)Image media projects B)being a people-pleaser
5. men don't really play a role
6. I'm most insecure in larger group social situations with mostly women. I can easily feel dorky and 'uncool' at these moments. We ladies can be hard on each other without even realizing it!
1. 20's
2. Single
3. Pretty big
4. Appearance and place in life, i.e-singleness
5. I think it plays a significant part--although I'd like to think it doesn't. Part of it comes from always feeling like the "unchosen, undesirable" one. Never asked out for a date, always the bridesmaid (9 times!)
6. Insecurity has driven me to destructive behaviors. Its driven me to find comfort in other people (usually, female co-dependent friendships), the constant thought of "if only I could lose 30 pounds, I'd be pretty and someone will like me", and the fact that I never want to look at myself in the mirror since I see someone slightly overweight and unattractive as opposed to the beloved bride of Christ whom He has chosen.
1. Thirties
2. married, 2 girls
3. a little
4. weight and friendships
5. my man doesn't. other men might.
6. I used to try to "fit in," especially in high school. It made me insecure because I just didn't fit. What helped was remembering I Sam. 16:7 -- The Lord looks at the heart.
1-30s
2-married, 2 kids
3-enough to bother me
4-trying to "have it all together" all the time and what I say and don't say
5-I used to think men played a role but as I've matured, I've realized it is really more other women and internal issues
6-Jesus is gradually leading me from being completely frozen in insecurity to a broader place, not always a fun process because stretching and failing hurts but I love the results in my life--He is so faithful.
1. forties
2. married
3. a little
4. (a) how others look at me when I go home to visit relatives (b) compliments from my husband
5. little or none; it's all me
6. I used to be little (size 3-5) and now I'm in an 8. I think I see myself as "huge" and trust me, my "personality" (the top part)is no longer a "b" cup. The enemy really takes this one and does a number in my head when I am trying on outfits or getting ready to go for a visit to my family several hundred miles away.
1. mid 30's
2. married
3.enough to bother me
4.physical appearance;finances
5.a little
6.at times insecurity stops me from going somewhere new or trying something new
1. 30's (late 30's)
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Feeling unloved/Feeling inadequate
5. Men-Huge
6. This is what led me into an adulterous relationship.
1. end of my forties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me and it can be more or less if I am out of my comfort zone.
4. (1) being asked to do something for God and feeling like I am not worthy or that I am ill-equipped. (2) my children.
5. Until age 40, tons. I was raised to believe that I was incomplete without a man and unlovable--but I have climbed out of that pit. Thank you Jesus.
6. The conversations that I have with myself are the most damaging. I can play old tapes until finally the Holy Spirit gets my attention and reminds me who I am in Christ. The fog lifts and once I get through my assignment, I look back and see it was God who completed it through me.
1.40's
2.married
3.HUGE
4.men and my past
5.greatly!
6.not being able to form "healthy" relationships or know what a healthy relationship consists of.
1.Twenties
2.Married
3.Pretty Big
4.Dependence on looks and worrying about what others think
5.Very Little
6.Insecurities have paralyzed me from being truthful and seeing people including myself as God sees me. I have been attracted to the wrong men, and I hide from deep relationships though if I was being completely transparent there is not a whole lot to hide. I'm just scared.
1 - 30's
2 - divorced, re-married
3 - HUGE
4 - not feeling worthy or good enough for anyone/anything
5 - IMMENSE
inattentive father my whole life.
date rape at 15.
abusive high school boyfriend.
unfaithful (many times) first husband.
6 - Too insecure to handle a pregnancy at 16 even though I WANTED that baby. So afraid of what my parents would do/say. Tried to have an abortion at 6 wks but was crying so much the doctor wouldn't do it. At the last minute (literally at 13 weeks) caved to boyfriend's pressure and did it. Never told anyone.
BIGGEST REGRET IN MY LIFE.
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. HUGE
4. My weight is my biggest source of insecurity and people don't remember me. ex...the week before Thanksgiving I volunteered at my kids' school. I sat with another parent for about 2 hours and had an indepth conversation. I ran into her at the park but didn't say anything because I knew she probably wouldn't remember me. She didn't until she saw my daughter. I have countless examples of similar instances.
5. Very little...I know my husband loves me for me and he is very supportive
6. I have gone out of my way NOT to make plans with people (especially those I haven't seen in some time) because I don't want them to see how much weight I have gained or how I look. It could be my family or friends out-of-town or people who live nearby that I haven't seen in a while. My youngest child (#3) is 5 and we haven't had a family picture since my oldest was 18 months and I was pregnant with my second. That has been about 9 years. Right now we are saying we will have a family picture at Easter, but if I don't lose weight it will be rescheduled until Christmas 2009.
1. forties
2. married
3. enough to bother me
4. Believe I must be perfect to be loved and fear of what others think about me
5. very much-my father
6. I HATE insecurity. I want to be who I really am--in Christ, for my family, for me (& my sanity), but I still feel the pressure to be who I think others expect me to be (the PERFECT mom, wife, Christian, worker, etc).
1. 30's
2. Married
3. HUGE
4. Body image/sexuality (Compare myself to other women and wonder if I please my husband) and other women (I'm a professional woman surrounded by SAHM acquaintances and often feel scrutinized for my decision to stay in the work force.)
5. Not a lot (I put the pressure on myself about pleasing my husband; he doesn't)-other women do though (my own comparisons).
6. Fear is at the root of my insecurity--fear of rejection, fear of not "measuring up". Insecurity leads me to use society's desires (which I know are whimsical!) as a measuring stick, yet there's no way I can possibly keep up with it's ever changing (and flimsy!) ebb and flow. It's a vicious cycle. Ultimately, I lose sight of the "true measuring stick" which leads to further insecurity (this time about my poor ability to hang onto truth). And so goes the cycle...
1. 40's
2. Married 3 grown children
3. a little
4. Not having love returned and my looks - getting older and dealing with all that goes with it.
5. probably only about 25%
6. I always have a feeling of not measuring up to what society has deemed a "real" woman is. Feel like i will never have the money etc. to be able to "wear all the right clothes" and have that "look"..
1)20’s
2)Married
3)Enough to bother me
4)My body weight & procrastination
5)I think the male’s in my life play a huge part
6)I am learning that if I focus on my imperfections or insecurities it hinders me from moving forward to be a happier & healthier woman. Prayer & accountability has been HUGE in trying to change these things in my life!
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. Pretty big
4. Childhood experiences that I can't completely shake; how those experiences affect my image of God
5. Pretty big. My dad was an abusive father - emotionally and, towards my mom, physically. Some of the things he said to her/us kids are still the words that come to my head in stressful situations. His example also made it difficult for me to view that God being a Father-figure was a good thing.
6. Insecurities affected me much more in my single days. I believed horrible things about myself, so I behaved horribly. I finally got hooked up with a good Christian counselor who helped me turn my life around. Shortly after, I met an amazing man who, with God, has helped redefine my attitudes toward men as husbands and fathers. God, Himself, has also redefined my image of what it means to be a Father, but it is definitely still a work in progress.
1. 50's
2. divorced
3. pretty big
4. not interesting to other people
feel like i don't belong
5. probably alot since i'm divorced
feel ostracized from society because i feel it's a couples world
6. I feel really lonely after my divorce...even after more than 17 yrs. My good friend is married and i don't have any single friends to hang out with so consequently I don't go out much. I have very low self esteem and what is so sad is I used to have so many friends and I used to be so fun to be around !
1. 50's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Lack of constant family peace, feeling mostly unloved by my husband.
5. Husband leads me to insecurity from feeling unloved.
6. Persecuted by husband for teaching Sunday school and leading bible study classes. Heavy, heavy heart, but try to perservere for God.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fifties
Widowed at 29, 3 now grown children and one grand-daughter that lives with me
Pretty Big
Alcoholic father now deceased,and alcoholic son,the verbal abuse from both situations, and sometimes fear of physical abuse. Betrayed by husband before his death.
Being told as a child I wasn't worth much, I wasn't as important as my older sisters- now one will communicate occasionally, other will not communicate with me at all.
I don't hate men, but sometimes I have to work on trusting them. But am very trusting of my friends' husbands- no situation to get hurt by.
1. 40's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Current economic times and being alone.
5. Some but not a great deal.
6. It keeps me from pursing goals/dreams/ideas. I think this ties into trust and fear as well.
1. Fifties
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. Value - Rejection/Abandonment
5. A lot-as in my parent and siblings (all men)- this has greatly effected my view of God, His unconditional love and Grace.
6. As I work to be authentic in all areas of my life and with everyone I encounter (especially God), I expect the shoe of rejection and abandonment to drop any moment. It makes it very difficult to fully enjoy the blessing of love and friendship.
1. mid-thirties
2. married
3. enough to bother me
4. appearance (I have female pattern hair loss and continuously struggle with 25 extra lbs.)
5. Little to none - I am my own worst enemy.
1. 30's
2. married
3. Pretty Big
4. not living up to the mom and wife that I should be and physical apperance
5. i think my insecurity began with men and taught me what that feeling was. Then it branched into other areas
6.Insecurity is a bigger issue for me than i thought is was. It bleeds into almost every aspect of my life that I dont feel good about or I dont feel successful with. Once I expericence failure in any area (parenting, relationships, spiritually, etc.)then the insecurity sets in and seems to leave scar that makes me feel as if I can never be secure or successful in that area again.
1. 20's
2. Married
3. Pretty big.
4. relying on others for my worth (caring what they think); allowing my past mistakes to haunt me into thinking I am not good enough - desire for perfection.
5. Not much.
1. Forties
2. Married
3. Pretty Big, borders on HUGE
4. The way I was raised to feel as though I did not matter, pretty much ignored.
Continued in the same pattern by surrounding myself with people who continued to make me feel like I didn't matter.
5. My dad was the main one who ignored me - shaping my self image, then married someone much like my father. (did have a good relationship with my Dad as I got older before he passed away)
6. It is very hard to feel like you matter to God when you feel like you don't matter to the people who are supposed to love you the most. I have struggled so much, because I know I matter to God, just can't seem to believe it all the time. It has gotten better with time as my relationship with God has grown.
1. Sixties
2. Married - husband ill in
nursing home
3. Enough to bother me.
4. Financial struggles and not
"someone with skin on" to
share with.
5. 50% - I miss the wonderful
times with a man but not some
of the "not so wonderful" times
6. The financial struggles of
reduced income & insecurity
have & are daily making me
know for certain that my
TOTAL security and trust
are in God and GOD ONLY.
1. 50s
2. Married
3. HUGE
4. Weight & husband
5. Much. My husband. Not his fault however. Really good looking and women fawn over him. I have always had a weight problem but he loves me anyway and cherishes me.
1. Fifties
2. Married
3. Pretty big
4. Finances and future
5. Pretty much because in the earthly realm finances and future are dependent upon a man (my husband) and men (my boss)
6. I know I’m supposed to have my whole trust and faith in the Lord for my finances and future, but it is a moment-by-moment thing to keep telling myself God is in control and not man.
1. 50's
2. Married, 1 child
3. Enough to bother me...but I do think it was HUGE when I was a teenager and in my 20's
4. Parents' separation in my teens - ultimate divorce in my 20's - also, I think being an only child, I craved attention from others like I received from my parents/grandparents. Also, I did not have the opportunity to learn very valuable people skills siblings help to bring out.
5. I don't think my father played into my insecurity. But I had difficulties with some of my dating relationships.
6. I struggled with my own perceived inadequacies and then felt like, "Why should he stay with me. I just know he's going to leave me. There are so many prettier women than me. That girl at work is too close to my husband." Then my imagination would get the best of me, and I would be a basket case. I finally had to get face down on the bathroom floor with the door locked and beg for God's help. And help He did!
1. 40's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. I don't have enough time one-on-one or with small groups of girlfriends to share my heart much, hear theirs in return, and receive the emotional strength that comes from close friendships.
5. My husband stresses about finances and that rubs off on all of us. Also, the knowledge that his physical condition does not lend itself to long life.
30s
married, 3 kids
pretty big
my husband and the judgement i feel from other women
men in general-not a lot, my husband- a little more than average
my insecurities lead me to feel uncomfortable in situations.
1. Early 20's
2. married
3. a little bit
4. money,culture
5. not at all-love the hubs!
6. my insecurities come from comparing what we have as a couple to other couples our age such as money,jobs,size of our house, cars, toys, clothes, vacations, etc. It's disgusting that satan uses this as an area to attack me.
1. fortys
2. married
3. big
4. weight; not feeling like i measure up in areas other than my appearance
5. still working through the father issue of nothing positive from him and not sure where i stood. husband is great, very loving and affirming.
1. 30's
2. Married
3. HUGE
4. a. Fear of people not liking me because what I say is not popular (because of the Biblical worldview I now stand on), or because of what they know about my past.
b. Because of what I look like now after having 3 children and overeating.
5. I do not get the attention that I once got and I know that somewhere that creeps into my insecurity, even though I am extremely thankful for not getting either.
6. I used to flaunt the body I had and even though the Lord has shown me the virtue of modesty, my body is a mess now and I don't even want to see people I knew from the past because the weight gain would be obvious. It is a blessing and a bad thing as well. It has taught me to be modest, but also sin of overeating crept in to cause it. The main thing that is awful about it is that I feel insecure being intimate with my husband, even though he is wonderful and doesn't care at all. He loves me just the same. I want to be free and unashamed with him. (Also have the same early childhood abuse as you do so I know that has to play some part in it).
1. 40's
2. Married, 2 kids
3. a little
4. women judging me, not living up to my own expectations
5. I am way more comfortable around men - there is no need to compete and/or compare. In general, I feel more secure around men than women. Sad, but true.
1. 19
2. married, one kid
3. HUGE
4. not being filled with Jesus and asking everyone else to fill me up! Never feeling good enough, smart enough, doing enough.....etc.
5. physical appearance
6. I feel constantly like I am not measuring up to whatever standard I have placed in front of me.
1. 30's (almost 40's)
2. married, 2 kids
3. huge
4. never feeling "enough" (thin enough, good enough, smart enough, enough money, good enough mom/sister/daughter/wife)
5. it's really in my head, i'm sure, and i just let other people's (including men) impressions influence my thinking.
6. i tend to turn completely inward and isolate myself, away from people/activities/God/everything
1. 30's
2. Married with 3 kids
3. HUGE
4. Physical appearance and what others think of me. Keeps me from doing what I sense God wants.
5. More than I'd care to admit. :)
6. My husband does nothing but affirm me and believe in me, but I seem to be a bottomless pit. Unquenchable. It has led to enjoying the compliments of other men besides my husband, and having to confess that temptation to him. I "know" that God alone satisfies, but I guess I don't know how to live as though He truly is enough.
I will take two copies of whatever God is laying on your heart to say about this! :)
1. 40'S
2. married
3. enough to bother me
4. personality & appearance
5. dont think it has much to do w/men
insecurity has led to fear which has led to me always second guessing myself which has led to not being able to make decisions etc
1. Forties
2. Married
3. a little
4. body image & not being outgoing
5. In a major way
6. Mostly body image, if I'm not at the size/weight that I feel comfortable, I tend to withdraw emotionally & socially.
Thirties
Married
HUGE- tried to break free from this all my life.
1.LOOKS-am I pretty enough
2.Money- do we make enough...keeping up
3.None really...maybe a little
I have battled this all my life... I pray for deliverance from this bondage....it is always there though lurking in the shadows......
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. A little
4. Adequacy as a Christian; what my other female friends/peers think of me
5. My man helps my insecurities, boosts my self-confidence and makes me more secure with his love, encouragement and support
6. We can't expect perfection out of ourselves and God doesn't expect it either ... so don't strive for it. Just love God and love others ... God can take care of the rest!
1) 40's;
2) married, 4 children;
3) HUGE;
4) Physical Appearance and relationship with my Mom
5) Men play a pretty big part;
6) Not participating or getting involved.
1) 30's
2) Single
3) Enough to bother me
4) Fear of rejection; fear of failure
5) My step-father's actions filled me with such shame that I believed I wasn't good enough for anything or anyone. My Heavenly Father has healed alot of that, but some still lingers. I'm single by choice, but insecurity sometimes convinces me that no man would want me anyway.
6) I'm learning more and more that insecurity is the leading reason for my saying "no" to so many things. I've often covered it up with other reasons, but ultimately I feel as though I'm not good enough and I'm just not worth it.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
1. 40s
2. Married
3. Pretty big
4. Overwhelming debt. Not measuring up as a believer, church goer, employee, wife, mother, daughter, friend
5. Formerly, a great deal. Not much today.
6. Insecurity has bred fear of intimacy, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, fear of trying again only to fail again. It’s sad and lonely and full of guilt and regret.
1. Forties
2. Married
3. A little
4. When I perceive other women to be better, cuter, smarter, fitter, etc. than me.
5. Very much so, when I was married to my ex. Wasn't valued by him. Not so with my new husband...very secure because I'm cherished.
6. Grew up insecure with my body due to birth defects. Kids made fun of me a lot. In the 4th grade my teacher said, "You are not an accident cause God don't make junk!" That stuck with me and I was able to overcome my insecurities. Went on to do things like cheerleading, etc. Kids quit making fun of me!
1. Twenties.
2. Married.
3. Pretty Big.
4. a) Overwhelming need to please people/be liked. Result: insecure in my standing with everyone from God to strangers b) Guilt. Result: insecure in my performance. Regardless of the task/my level of effort—I'm ALWAYS haunted by the thought: I could’ve done better.
5. Men at work: not really (thrive in competitive/performance-driven enviro.), Men in my personal life: I’m desperate for their approval.
6. Insecurity is always with me it’s as much a part of me as any of my limbs. I guess I think of it as a fact of life more than a sin or something I can conquer. I figure it will decrease as I get older.
1. thirties
2. married/ 3 children
3. enough to bother me
4. views of other women
not taken seriously
5. Men have played a small role, it's mostly other
women.
1. I'm in my mid-twenties.
2. I'm single. As of last night, actually.
3. HUGE.
4. Being raised with a father who repeatedly told me negative things about myself (and, if truth be told, still does). Somehow, no matter how hard I try to separate them, my dad and God seem to sound awfully alike when I replay their voices in my mind.
5. I'd say that it's a root source for insecurities, at least in my life.
6. Ever since I realized that the first man to hold me didn't actually like me, I've been trying to find my way into other men's arms. How's that for blunt?
1.Teens - 18
2. Single( in a courtship/dating relationship)
3. A little Bit
4. not wanting to dissapoint people and living up to others expectations
5. a little bit, not a lot!
6. My insecurities come mainly from my boyfriend. He is a Great and Godly man. He never says or does anything to bring me down , he is constantly edifying me. I sometimes worry that i will say or do something out of my fleshly nature, that will dissapoint him, when all i want to do is be the Godly woman he deserves and is proud of!
1. 30's for 1 more year
2. Married
3. A little. It has been HUGE in my past, but God has delivered me!
4. weight, infertility/early menopause
5. A little - I'm secure in my husband's love, but know he'd love me to lose weight. More insecurity from concerns about how other women see me.
6. I was more insecure as a teenager and young single adult. My husband has helped me to see myself as the Lord sees me, and that has been very encouraging and freeing. I still struggle with what I think other women think of me (my weight, the fact that I don't have children), but I know that I have a beautiful inheritance!
late thirties
Single, never married
Enough to bother me
Being single and never married… seems as if Christian women think I have something wrong with me… And I start believing that.
I am not successful enough –
I am mostly concerned with what other women think of me.
I try and let people know how successful I am, so I have an “excuse” for not having a husband and children. So since I try to use professional success to “impress”, it has created an increased drive to perfectionism. This perfectionism then, creates in me a tremendous anxiety to keep up this false image of a “successful working woman who is single by choice”. I feel like I have 2 heads, so I tend to isolate myself from other believing women and I have gotten a pretty big chip on my shoulder about it.
50's
Married, 2 adult children
Huge
1)Being overweight and feeling ugly
2)Afraid to try anything new for fear of failure
Huge part, I was sexually abused by my father.
I wish I could love and value myself.
1. 30's
2. married with 2 children
3. enought to bother me
4. Money and weight
5. Men play a role to which I feel I am not adequate for them, my husband and dad
6. I have fought against dishonestly in my life for 20 years now. I have hid lies about money, but the truth finally came out. Wow, how freeing was that!!! I have wanted to be responsible and handle all the bills and it just got too overwhelming. I have eaten myself into obesity because of the guilt. I am slowly trying to come out of the pit. I have put God back in control of my life and things are looking up.
1. Twenties
2. Single
3. Enough to bother me
4. Finances and Not being able to manage everything.
5. My Dad left my family when i was a kid which truly did cause financial distress and the need to grow up quickly. I know that as a new creation in Christ, I am covered with His love and provision, yet I still struggle daily with the anxiety of financial debt which remains from from college. I feel like I can't experience freedom without financial freedom.
1. Early twenties
2. Single
3. Pretty big / huge
4. fear of rejection, comparison
5. A fairly large role - but not so much men my age; men who are the age of my father tend to play a more significant role in my insecurity. But honestly, I think insecurity (at least for me) comes more from comparing with other women than from what men think.
6. You know what I've noticed by observing other women in my life? Insecurity is not something we outgrow. Unless it is dealt with by the power of the Holy Spirit, we'll take it with us to the grave.
1. Forties
2. Married (happily)
3. Enough to bother me (when I was younger use to be Pretty Big)
4. Wanting everyone to like me/huge people pleaser
5. not too much/maybe it use too more
6. Wish I was totally free to be myself... even with friends I find myself worried I will in some way offend them or they will take me wrong way Example : after a long conversation when you leave you think oh I am such an idiot why did I say that or not say that... or even now worse that I am a Christian worry I don't pray right or good enough... or if I struggle with something I'll be judged like I am not a true Christian... I even panic when it comes to commenting on a blog (pitiful!)
Yuck! So tired of myself! Come Lord Jesus!
1. Early Twenties
2. Married
3. Pretty Big.
4. My body and my self-loathing thoughts or similar negative thoughts.
5. Yes, what my husband says can affect me positively or negatively...greatly.
6. Knowing whose you are is the key. If we could grasp a fraction of how God thinks of us and how he loves us it would make all the difference. Also, without declaring war against the enemy we can never capture all the thoughts piercing our hearts and minds constantly.
1. 40's
2. married, 2 awesome kids
3. HUGE
4. Feel like I am worth nothing due to my weight.
5. Men especially make me feel worse.
6. I feel judge everytime I walk out the door and like everyone looks down on me.
1.mid 30's
2.married
3.HUGE
4.my weight,my looks
5.not a problem for me in this area.
6.my insecurites and low self esteem have me prisoner!!!
1. Thirties
2. Married
3. A little
4. Not defining myself as Christ sees me. Believing the enemy.
5. Alot growing up as my father died when I was young.
6. Growing up I defined myself by my relationship with the men in my life...my brothers and then the guys I dated. Leading to really bad choices, the biggest one was not really listening to God about who I should marry. Through counseling and The Counselor my husband and I are doing well. Thankfully God can redeem and bless a situation even when it wasn't the best choice.
1. 22 (in college!)
2. single
3. a little
4. 1)accpetance 2)pressure to set standards
5. I have chosen to set myself apart from men until I finish school, so I don't care what they think! Ha! It might come into play when I decide that I want one.
....(Goodness, it's exhausting turning all these boys down! HA!! J/k!!)
6. Insecurity sometimes leads to me feeling paranoid..which can cause problems.
1. 40's
2. Divorce/single
3. Enough to bother me
4. Relationship / finances
5. Somewhat
6. I would normally never admit to this but since it is anonymous one particular relationship. I have never had the best of luck in relationships in the past. In my first marriage I thought I was loved and was totally wrong. Then I did something stupid and got married again when I should not have. Now I have been in this relationship for 5 yrs and I truly care and love this man but my biggest fear or insecurity would be if I really total him how I feel (because of my past experience) he would not feel the same. I know I should not feel this way but that is just me.
1 40's
2 Married
3 A Little
4 Fear of Failure
That I'm 'only' a homemaker
5 None - my husband and father are the biggest sources of security (earthly!) in my life.
6 I realised that this has changed for me a lot as I've hit my 40's. In my 20's and 30's my answer to Q3 would have been 'huge'
1. 20's
2. Married
3. Enough to bother me
4. The way the world/media portrays what a woman should look like, and the fact that I care too much what others think of me.
5. I think men seriously impact my insecurities, or atleast I let them.
1. 40's
2. divorced
3. pretty big
4. a) finding identity in pleasing others
b) having a man/husband
5. Bigtime
6. I was exposed to pornography at 6 years old. This formed a false image of what God intended woman to be. Then the codependency. Who am I? I am ___in Christ. I know (head) it. Living it takes time. It's hard to be alone without children and see your dreams evaporate.
I'm an only child. Who will be with me when I'm old?
1. 20's
2. married
3. pretty big
4. lack of feeling unconditionally loved by my parents while growing up, also their divorce/unhealthy family dynamics
5. fairly significant- i feel the "need" for approval from my father and my husband
6. insecurity has led my on a wild goose chase for other's approval, but by the Lord's work, i am slowly de-throning that need!
1. 26
2. married
3. a little bit
4. the situation with the govement in canada (I'm Canadian) and I have a tendancy to want everything to be perfect.
5. actually, I don't want to have a 'right' answer, but my man (not every man) has very good influence on my security.
6. God is very godd to me.
1. 40's
2. married
3. HUGE
4. Physical appearance and overall self-image
5. HUGE...I was raped at 14, then continued with men that took advantage of me. Married to good man, who now criticizes my every move.
6. Young men need to learn to treat women/girls with true respect and honor. Not as objects for their pleasure...no matter the intent.
1. Thirties
2.Married
3. Pretty big - used to be Huge...
4. my upbringing/parents not valuing/needing/desiring me - it is THE wound that triggers me in various areas (marriage, children, world, brings out the Martha in me)
5. Huge - acceptance and value "as is" is a must for women of all ages - babies up to adulthood!
6. It is only recently that I realized how much insecurity still plays a role in my life... I desire to have my wounds/heart healed completely by Jesus so that I don't react to my extended family/world with such dissapointment and so I can model true love/grace to my hubby and 3 kiddos. By my heart being wounded so young, I have lived a life of lies ( that I don't matter, not good enough, not noticed, needed, etc...) But with God's grace I am learning to let go of perfection and embrace his grace and love... "I am who God says I am"
1. 40's
2. married
3. pretty big - on certain issues
4. a)that I'm not doing all I should be doing for God or that I'm not doing it right (like not forcing my teenage children to attend church because it is a battle, not tithing) b)that I am failing my husband, physicaly and finacially not managing our money correctly
5. big part
6. My physical appearance and my ability or lack of determination to take care of my body and get it in shape...this leads me to feel insecure sexually with my husband to the point that I want to hide from him. Some of that also is from some abuse I suffered as a child and as a teenager.
1. Fifties
2. Married
3. Huge right now
4. The overriding one is I'm experiencing the reality of God's ways not being my ways, that I've lost my confidence He will see me through. I've been going through a battle the last several years, and as I beg Him to lead me, I still feel like I'm negotiating a minefield by myself. It's terrifying to feel abandoned by God, and I am distressed when Christian writers say "let God take care of you," "He's waiting for you to just ask Him in," etc. when that's exactly what I've sincerely pleaded for and yet there's no relief. It causes me to question my salvation.
5. A man does not play into this. It's between God and me. My husband is a saint!
6. See No. 4.
1. 30's
2. Married, 2 kids
3. Enough to bother me
4. weight, and fear
5. I am blessed to have a man who does not put me down or make me insecure.
6. I find my insecurites affecting me the LEAST when I am consistently spending time in God's Word on a daily basis. I can usually tell if I am slacking off by how insecure I feel, because our security is only found in Jesus.
1. 50's
2. Married, one step-daughter
3. HUGE
4. Finances due to husband's job situation.
Relationships
5. HUGE: relationships with men have not bee good.
6. The past few years have been very difficult and have caused me to distrust God. Our family follows God and all we have had is trial after difficulty after trial. It seems my spirit has been damaged through it all.
1. late twenties
2. married
3. enought to bother me
4. appearance and lack of knowledge of the Word
5.just a little. have wonderful relationship w/ both father & husband.
6. I feel like I'm not secure in my knowledge of the Word and that holds me back in stepping up to my calling. I always feel like someone knows more than me so I should just not minister or give an opinion.
Late 30's
Married
A little
Physical appearance
Sometimes more than others
I think our society puts way too much emphasis on physical appearance and material possesions.
<< Home