Glad I'm a Woman

OK, I just have a sec but I'm so amused by something that I have to tell you about it. I am at a coffee shop close to Melissa's apartment. The movers packed her stuff yesterday and are putting it in the truck as we speak. I'd been perched on her back porch but they needed to move that furniture, too. Besides, it's cold here today and my hands were freezing. All that to say, I had to find a place close by and, as God would have it, it has wireless internet. The place was packed when I came in. Really cute decor with a half a dozen small round tables surrounded by four wing back chairs. By the time I ordered my coffee, several people departed and I threw my stuff in a chair as fast as I could. In a few minutes, two men - I think in late thirties - couldn't find a place to sit so they asked if they could sit at my table. I told them to be my guest. They'd not distract me at all.

I totally lied.

Watching those two men try to do coffee was the most awkward thing I've ever seen. They couldn't have been business associates or, goodness knows, they'd have talked business. And I would've been relieved. Instead, for the life of them, they could not think of one single thing to say. And, no, they weren't trying to be quiet for my sake. The whole establishment is abuzz with conversation. One of them tapped on the top of his cup. The other made a few attempts at sentences starting with, "SO..." It was pitiful. Worse than pitiful. It was painful. I cannot tell you how tempted I was to help them. They needed rescuing in the worst way and I had at least five topics for conversation on the tip of my tongue: weddings, up-dos, grandboys who have learned to talk in full sentences, women's Bible study, and baby girls moving to Atlanta with new husbands. But somehow I got the feeling they didn't want my help. I tried not to look at them. It would have been too humiliating for them. So there I sat, pecking away on my computer, acting like I had no idea that they were having the world's most awkward cup of coffee. Anyway, I don't even think they were real coffee drinkers. Out of the corner of my discerning eye, I saw no pause for reflection after a single sip. Dead giveaway that they were posers. That was their first problem.

And here I am, communicating with a whole herd of women I've never even met with names that, five years ago, would've sounded like cartoon characters and about all manner of personal thing happening in my family's life.

Yep. I love being a woman.

PS. I like to have died (that's how my people always talked. I really do have some education. I just don't sound like I do) over Mommy Dot Com sharing that she'd been nominated as "customer of the week" at her neighborhood Starbucks and nearly started crying when they announced someone else as the winner. Laughing my danged head off. You are customer of the week to all your siestas.