So Long Insecurity Week Two!
Hey, Girls! I have absolutely LOVED your discussions in Week One! I am so happy about the decision to take a full week for your responses because the comments come in at a slow enough pace for AJ and me to read a ton of them. You are such an interesting and diverse group.
There were so many comments that made me think, a few that made me want to cry, and several that made me laugh my head off. I have to mention two that brought a smile to my face because I had anticipated this very challenge and discussed it at some length with my friends at Tyndale House. Both of the responses that made me grin came from the question about the last time you faced our gender's massive insecurity struggle. One of you said you confronted it when you immediately had to pull the book jacket off so no one would see that you were reading a book on insecurity. The other one said something similar but with even more detail. You described getting the book that very day, taking it with you to work to begin reading over your supper break, spreading your stuff out on the table in the break room, then covering the name of the book so no one would think you were insecure. I loved it.
BY ALL MEANS, pull that book jacket off if you need to! It's what's inside the book that matters. I'll tell you why I begged to have the word "insecurity" in the title even though the question came to the table, "Will insecure women be secure enough to get a book with insecurity in the title?" My feeling - then theirs - was that it was worth the chance. If we'd just named it something like "Hello Security," women would not have known outright that it dealt with healing from INsecurity. Big difference. We can talk about security all day long but we will never find ourselves in that beautiful place without letting God deal with our insecurity.
As I wrestled with how it should be titled, I became certain, I pray through the direction of the Holy Spirit, that the key word had to be in it. It had to be blatant. That moment's resonance with that distasteful word insecurity might make a woman like me stop and think...then gather the courage to slap that thing on the counter and take it home with her. I am convinced that, if someone else had written it and I'd been in the emotional turmoil of last year, I would have seen that word, looked both ways in that Walmart or that bookstore, and, when the coast was clear, I would have run to the check out counter - then to the car - as fast as I could. And I probably would have read the first chapter in the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. That's how desperate I was.
Anyway, the first real step toward healing is admitting we've got a problem. So, you see? The fact that we were secure enough to get a book on insecurity means that all 6700+ of us are on our way to healing! High five right here, Girls. God is proud of us.
OK, so let's get to our discussions for Week Two. Read or thoroughly review CHAPTERS THREE and FOUR then answer the questions that follow this paragraph. Remember to add your basic bio information every time you comment: First name, age decade, married or single, city, state. If at any time, your answer is too vulnerable for you to want to identify yourself, just go with age decade and married or single status. Those facts themselves bring insight to your answers.
1. Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
2. What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)
3. Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
That's it for this week! I can't wait to see your answers. Remember, you have until next Thursday morning to answer your questions.
I care so much, Ladies. You are a tremendous inspiration to me. May Christ meet you in your tasks and concerns today. He loves you lavishly.
PS. I had to hop back on here and mention another comment that I just saw under last Thursday's post. In fact, I'm going to flat-out cut and paste it. I thought it was so funny in terms of the two earlier ones I mentioned to you about some of us feeling a tad insecure about reading an insecurity book in public. Dig this one:
One of our sisters wrote...
Well, I ordered my book online and really thought it should be in/getting close to last Thursday when we were supposed to start. I went up to the receptionist and to see if I had received any packages and then said, "sure wish my book would come in." Receptionist had a funny look on her face and pointed to a package on her desk. She said she didn't know whose it was as it came in the day before with just company name and not an individual. She said, "I asked every woman in this office if it was theirs. I didn't even think to ask you....you would be the last person..." Well, it was mine and at first I said, "I'm not insecure" but later walked back up there and said, "[the woman's name], I do have some insecurities but guarantee you when I am done, I'll be set free from them." She looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well.
Bless your heart, Sister! We love you, we're feeling your pain, and we're all cringing and laughing with you (you just might as well go ahead and think it's funny). Honestly, that's just like something that would happen to me. You are all so refreshing to me. Let's stay the course in Jesus' great Name.

1195 Comments:
Ginger
Hudsonville, MI
40's
Married
Marlo, 32
married in Indiana
My most prominent false positive -how hard to pick one, so forgive me for two: Beauty/youth and financial security. I don't like the thought of gaining weight, getting wrinkles, etc. or losing the lifestyle we have (not that it's luxurious, but comfortable). So shallow.
I identify most with either Moses because I can be reluctant to obey and believe and do what I feel God tugging me to do. . . or Saul becuase I fight feelings of jealousy when I see someone so talented and wish I could do THAT -- whatever it is. "It is the fear that (the people we're jealous of) have something we don't that makes us most insecure."
Suzan
Beckley WV
40's
Single
I praise God that He loves us enough to accept us as we are. But I love Him even more for the changes and growth He loves us through. I'm looking in the mirror as I read this book, but what I see is changing because of His mercy.
Please join me in praying for everyone reading this book and glorify Him for the life changes!
I forgot the challenge! To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive . . . see His glorious reflection in me and let HIS beauty be upon me!!!!
I for one am thrilled that the word "insecurity" was in the title as this is exactly what I needed. I couldn't wait for the book to come out so I could start reading and hopefully get some answers and be able to deal with this problem. So thank you Beth for including it in the title.
Carol
Newton, KS
50's and married
Charlotte
Clover SC
56
Divorced/single
I think I am a week behind, but:what resonated most: Feeling like something bad is going to happen all the time (and then when it does, well, it's all reinforced) and I'm sure that's because I came from such a unpredictable household.
2) What gender issue I have most recently encountered: I work in family planning with teens who are having sex at young teen ages -- believe me, I try to talk to them about WHY??? There's a term for this: sexual objectification -- and what it does to these young women and their sense of identity!
I thought of your question when I was doing a pelvic on one such patient and she had decorative socks on (of course, I see the feet) with cute designs on them but the words said all over the socks: Love Me.
Ginny
PA
50's
married
Just got the book am so excited to read it. Have singed up for the simulcast on so long insecurity !!! Prasie you and Bless you and your whole family. they give you to us all the time. Thank them so much for allowing you to be part of our families too.
Love you Much!!!!!
Ginny
PA
50's
married
Just got the book am so excited to read it. Have singed up for the simulcast on so long insecurity !!! Prasie you and Bless you and your whole family. they give you to us all the time. Thank them so much for allowing you to be part of our families too.
Love you Much!!!!!
Okay, I am going to be bold here, I figure if I can be strong enough to share my "stuff" then maybe it will lead others to do the same:
1. My Prominent False positive I don't know if I can categorize, might be something new to y'all, but one of the things I don't DO anymore, but still have in my thoughts to do at times is cutting. I used to hurt myself to make what others made me think or feel about myself not hurt as much. I guess also trying to feel secure by " power" that people have had over me. It would always do more harm to my well-being then good, control can not make you secure, it can only make you more insecure, because you feel like you can never measure up.
The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. I think a part of my insecurity could be found in all of them, but I think Saul would be one for sure, and I'll admit that.
I think though when someone else does better, I start to feel not so much just jealousy, but I feel left out. You could hear the " What about me" come out of my thoughts. And I'll be more honest and say I've had that same struggle when it comes to some in siestaville...I'm a work in progress.
Angie, 29
single, Georgia
Courtney, Canton Ohio 34
My false positive...to be 10 pounds thinner.
The challenge: In Him is no darkness at all.
The person I relate to most in chapter 4 is Moses - I have been blogging for a while...I was on the Rachael Ray show as a guest for my marriage this past November - they stumbled across my blog. Sometimes I feel scared...we have a great marriage - but of course it's not perfect...I fear the what if's. What if it all goes bad with all eyes on me - the enemy would love that!
And I wonder - how did I get to this place where others are listening to me so much about my marriage? It's scary - and I have told God - I don't want to go if you don't go before me!
I was thankful when you (Beth) shared at Christmas about your 30 year anniversary and a disagreement you had had with Keith. It made me feel better to see that even after 30 years those fights will come - but when we hold on to Jesus we can ride out the waves. So I say "use me Lord" but I tremble.
Walk with the King!
Courtney
http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com
Married, 29
This comment relates to what Beth said about the book's cover. Somehow, I'm OK with people seeing that I'm reading a book about insecurity, but what has made me hide the book in a drawer instead of leaving it laying on my coffee table is the beautiful picture of Beth on the front.
I absolutely love Beth and consider her my mentor in the faith (from a distance), and I mean no disrespect at all. But honestly, I'm so insecure that I fear my 29-year-old husband will see Beth's picture perfect face and think she's prettier than me. I'm that crazy right now, and yes, I'm reading through the book as fast as I can.
Given that the topic is insecurity, I wonder if there was a discussion on whether to allow any altering of Beth's photograph for the cover. Maybe Beth is absolutely flawless, but if not, I wonder if thought was given to the fact that it might help women who are insecure in their appearance to pick up the book and see another woman who doesn't look just like a magazine cover.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandra
Knoxville, TN
40's
Single
I am guilty of taking the cover off too! I haven't been able to read many of the posts so I am glad to know I am not the only one. Really struggling with insecurity more than I realized. So much so that I was wondering in my current relationship if when I am trying to be more secure if the issues I have a problem with are still insecurity or if they are real. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone or not. Glad to be on this journey and I know that our God is faithful and He desires for all of us to be secure and He will take us there if we will continue.
Okay, sooooo I realized as I read the blog this am that I am more insecure than I thought. I found myself thinking my feelings must not really matter because she didn't mention my post. You know, mine out of 6,000. So my feelings must not be justified, right? Oh my goodness, I am going back and re-reading Chapters 1 & 2, then pressing on.
I didn't buy the book where anyone could see me, I bought the e-book for my ipod. :)
I look forward to what God is going to do in my life through this study!!!!
Mary
49
Blissfully married 25 years!!!
Anne
Wisconsin
Married
30s
Ha! I took the book jacket off because I didn't want to wreck it (I read every night in the bathtub). I mean, what better way to read a book about insecurity than while you're butt naked? :)
Marla
34
Columbus, OH
Married
1. Can I have 2 false positives? Financial stability and a book contract.
2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and open our eyes to the treasure we have in God and His Word.
3. PAUL. "Belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag." That is me, me, me. U-G-H!
Ginnie, 44
single in Florida
I have to confess that I took the jacket cover off my book as well. I never even thought of it being an insecurity problem that made me take it off, but after searching my heart that is exactly why I took it off. At least I didn't throw it away. Lord give me the strength and courage to put that cover back on. Those that know me already realize I have insecurity problems they don't have to see a jacket cover to a book to know it.
I need to tell on myself because well I chickened out yesterday. Quickly, last week I ended up in the ER and hospital. I am ok, just asthma problems. While they were doing all sorts of test to figure out the problem I was so scared and crying like there was no tomorrow. Anyway I kept apologizing to the staff for being such a wimp and a bother. To make the obvious even more so I kept apologizing to the nursing staff while I was in the hospital anytime I asked for anything. You know like Tylenol for a very bad headache and water because I was thirsty. I think God wanted me to really get it that I have not really improved in the security area. Argh I am a little embarrassed at the ridiculousness of it all and yet it is a bit funny. God's timing is crazy sometimes. I'm going to leave this anonymously because well I'm just going to. 50ish, married
Pam
Rochester MN
50's
Married
1.My false Positive is the thought that beautiful would make me secure.
2.The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship!
3.Saul in that he was in constant terror of loss! Loss of relationship! I ask myself, how do I love well? I have been told that I have put undue pressure on a relationship.(family) I had no idea! It has left me measured and insecure in other relationships, I question everything! Yet, Jesus is calling out to me though this stuck relationship, drawing me to His inexhaustible love. Not by removing the voice of rejection but by letting me hear His more clearly. Oh what mercy!
Oh, I have to smile. I didn't post my answers to Chap. 1 and 2 because I was afraid to post my tiny town incase someone would figure out it was me!!! Now, am I reading the right book or what!! Let alone take the book out of the house where anyone would see it.
Promise I'll get strong and post these answers!
Georgia
Traverse City, MI
60's
Married
I realized lots of women were insecure when I saw it on your blog sometime ago. Did I think I was the only one??? Yes, I think I may have.....
Chapter Two....The whole definition somewhat reasonated with me....also a few comments in that chapter "stuck out"....Everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault. Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form. Do you tend to put a fair amount of pressure on some key relationships? Do you have a few unrealistic expectations? The more easily threatened we are, the more insecure we are.
Whoa.....I have come a long way in my relationships, but have a "fur" piece to go.
Blessings
Tiffany
Houston, TX
30's
Married
THANK YOU for putting the word Insecurity on the cover. I needed it! Sometimes I live in a world of denial and need to be slapped in the face to wake me up. Prior to picking this book up I would have said, with great confidence I might add, that I was not insecure. In fact I gave my testimony three years ago to a group of women. In it I even shared this:
We build our lives on many different basics: their abilities, their spouses, performance of their children, their church affiliations or the assurance of money in the bank. Even being thin or popular or having the best house in the neighborhood, but do you notice something about all of these things? All of these things can fade away or be lost or destroyed.
With this in mind, we need to remember that a foundation built on the Lord Jesus Christ is everlasting. God says in His Word,
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never parish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My father who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27-29, NIV)
I also came across this scripture (you know the kind you have read over and over before but didn’t sink in with you) that hit me like a ton of bricks.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)
My hope is that you can walk away today understanding more about the rollercoaster rides, the life changing earthquakes or difficult situations in our lives, and how you might deal with the next one that crosses your path. You have to not only believe in God, but you have to BELIEVE HIM!! He will not forsake you.
For the last three years God has had me on one of the biggest rollercoaster’s of my life (dealing with breast cancer) and although my ride is not over I would not change one bit of it for the world. I am stronger for it today, and I realize that I do have insecurities, but I am facing them with dignity and grace, plowing through them one (prayer) at a time, never losing sight of the eternal glory that is in store. AMEN!
Lisa
Peachtree City, GA
40's
married
1. My false positive is my marriage. This is both of
our second marriages, and we
came in with alot of baggage.
Mine was a very abusive one & his
one of rejection, so Ms. Insecure
met Mr. Insecure. Been married 11yrs, but the insecurity issue still
raises its ugly head!
2.Jesus is not unhealthy nor codependent.Jesus' strength is made perfect in my weakness. In Him is NO DARKNESS AT ALL.
3. I relate to Eve!! The wardrobe
is not the issue, but being ashamed
to be unclothed! Sexual abuse starting as a teenager, and continuing in my first marriage, makes me feel uncomfortable with my clothes off, not when I'm alone, but with my husband. I don't tell him it does, but inside me I feel so unclean. I want these
lies to stop and I want to feel
secure in this area!!!
My most prominent false positive is my weight, especially my hips and boobs. I think to myself that if I could just take some of my hips and give it to my boobs, I'd be a lot more secure.
And bathing suit shopping would be a lot more enjoyable!!!
Sarai is who I resonated with most. Not only was she insecure because she couldn't give her man, Abram, what he wanted, but I also think she must not have valued herself very much. If she had, I'm hoping she would've told Abram to hold on to his tassels because barrenness did not mean unworthiness, thus saving Hagar and herself a lot of headaches. My battle with unworthiness spills over into my relationships with my friends, family and my husband, and it ultimately keeps me from the peace and joy I deserve through Christ.
My false positive, somewhat surprisingly to myself, was education. I would have said looks, aging, money. Then I did what Beth suggested, and thought of a person I thought of as secure and what she has that I don't possess. It is an education and a "career". Of course my insecure self tells me if only I had that, then I would be qualified to fulfill my purpose. I don't want to be a person who never fulfills my destiny because of my insecurities.
The challenge is:
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
The statement about Paul, "belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag" really resonated with me. Like him I feel like " the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself". I tell myself "I could do that" and then in the next breath convince myself "there is no way on earth I could do that". I want to reach the point where I can say "By the grace of God I am what I am".
And now I need to go buy a new hi-lighter!
Sharon
San Antonio, Texas
40's
Married
I have not purchased this book yet but I will do so very soon. I have anxiously waited each day to start reading some posts-what a blessing already to know I am not alone in my insecurities! I pray this book and discussion board will be a blessing to each and every one of us and that we may walk away more secure in all areas of our lives. God bless each and every one of you. P.S. This will be my very first blog!
Susan, married, 53, Texas:
My false positive: the worry of being traded in for the younger model- thus, if I just lost those last 10 pounds, had less wrinkles and bigger boobs...
Identified with Leah. My first husband left me and my baby boy for someone "well endowed" (over 30 years ago, mind you) and it still is an issue with me. Hearing those words of "I don't love you anymore" did more damage to a then 24 year old...
Bobbie
50's
Married
College Station, TX
I'm very happy you used Insecurity in the title but happier that you decided to take us on this journey with you to find Security! Thank you!
My PFP is definitely my weight! I constantly feel that if I were a size 8...I would be happier, my husband would love me more, my son and daughter would be proud of me, I could shop for clothes with my friends and on and on!! Sometimes I think I use my size as an excuse!!
The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship
I most identify with Saul and his jealousy. I fight an ugly jealousy of my MIL where my son is concerned. That has caused a lot of sadness and hurt in my life and this is something I really want to say "so long" to.
I want to look like the flawless picture on the cover.
Linda
Charlotte, VT
50's Married
I am a first time blogger and I am insecure about posting this comment. You ladies express yourselves so well. I feel secure in my insecurities; I know what most of them are and I have my coping mechanisms in place.(look up the word cope)My desire is that I will remember this is a journey to healing and I won't fall into a pattern of dwelling on my insecuities. But...right now my unsaved husband is upset with me because of something that snowballed out of my insecurity, and I can't find the root.
Thank you, so much for putting insecurity in the book title. It was just a couple weeks before I saw that there was a book on this subject that God started dealing with me in a serious way about my insecurity. If the title had been different, it may not have caught my eye.
1) Because my biggest security issue has to do with social situations, my biggest prominent false positive would be, popularity would make me secure.
2) our challenge is to let our completley secure part of us, take over us until is drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. We need to allow God's truth to eclipse the false positives and see the treasure that we have and that we are.
3) I relate very much to Moses. So often I would not do something because I didn't think I was good enough to do it.
Tamara
Highlands Ranch, CO
30's
marries
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth
Brooks, GA
20's
Single
I had to take the cover off too, not because I was insecure about the word insecure but because I was insecure about you looking at me while I read. I'm currently doing the Breaking Free revised study and as soon as I got the book I knew "She has to go, she will know that I want juice and that I'm in bondage and insecure!"
*It's a great picture of you-no insecurity enducing intended by my confessional-comment.
Karen
Rockledge, FL
50's
Married
I would have to say that beauty would be my “prominent false positive”...not just beauty, but also the perfect figure. I am insecure with the way I look.
Jesus in me...He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
God’s truth about us is the answer to those "false positives".
*inducing-
insecure, in bondage and i can't spell!
40s
divorced
1. Most prominent false positive: to be at goal weight and be toned/fit
2. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Leah... longing so much to be loved by her husband above anyone and anything else besides God.
Cyndi
NC
50's
Married
1. did book entry
2. My face-to-face gender struggle: Saturday, the facial hair that I have - feeling so less of a woman dealing with it.
3. what description of insecurity resonated most with me: Self-doubt: as a wife - fear of husband leaving me, since my mom and dad divorced when I was so little. We've been married almost 30 years, but still I am insecure.
Jo
Mattoon, IL
40's
Married
Unfortunately, my false positive has to do with age and weight! I find myself thinking that is I were thinner and younger I could compete in this world where men place such high standards on what makes a woman beautiful. My husband is also 5 years younger than me so sometimes satan sneaks in and whispers that my husband would love me more if I were skinny and young!!
The Challenge is so simple yet so very difficult at the same time! Allow the confident part of us take over and to allow God's truth to WIPEOUT every falst positive in our lives! I want to glorify Him with the confidence that He has bestowed on me!!
Sarai is the one I identify with most! I went through 14 years of infertility and it hurt knowing that I could not give hy husband a child but that someone else probably could!
Rene
Claremore OK
40's
Married
I really thought I would be sooooo secure when I got my degree (took 25 years) but all it did was make me more insecure because I realize that I just don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (and I’m 44!).
Challenge: “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.”
Leah. Ah, Leah. “She’d given up on love. Now she’d just settle for an attachment.” As a teenager I never had a boy ask me out so I settled for being the “mistress” I guess you would call it. Like the woman at the well, I had a ton of male friends but none saw in me anything worth loving. Yea, like a teenage boy knows what love is. Oh, the pain and insecurity that drove into me. Yup, definitely Leah!
Tara
Ennis, TX
27
Married
1. My children, definitely. I've always known I hide behind them, (takes the attention off of me) and am way too proud of them, (boastfully so!), but I didn't realize until I searched that I secretly despise people whose children are "cuter" or "smarter" or more "well-behaved" than mine are. I seriously search out their flaws. Wow...
2. to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and allow my eyes to open to the treasure I HAVE and AM.
3. Paul, definitely...I have a tendency to think a little too highly of myself, but also put myself down a lot. I don't wear makeup, I don't do my hair, I don't look in the mirror. I'm not sure what that means yet, but I hope to get to the root of it.
Karlys
La Place, LA
50's
Married
1. We are going through a financial squeeze right now. Though I would like to believe God has healed me of other false positives, I am beginning to realize that I am insecure over whatever happens to be prominent at the moment. Soon I will attend a high school reunion. I guess aging well will be my next false positive.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's Truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we will also see the treasure we are.
3. Certainly, the people you discussed all touched nerves in my own insecurities, but Martha is the one I continue to revisit. She whined to Jesus: "What about her?" -- just like John about Peter. Although, I have finally learned to whine to Him, I still look at the women around me... I am insecure.
Beth
WNC
50's
Still waiting for my copy and then I will join you gladly.
My fear would would probably be finiacial security. Here is a quote I found that relates to this study as well as another that I am doing:
Men will allow God to be everywhere except on His throne. They will allow Him to be in His workshop to fashion worlds and make stars. They will allow Him to be in His almonry to dispense His alms and bestow His bounties. They will allow Him to sustain the earth and bear up the pillars thereof, or light the lamps or {sic}Heaven, or rule the waves of the evermoving ocean; but when He ascends His throne, His creatures then gnash their teeth, and we proclaim an enthroned God, and His right to do as He wills with His own, to dispose of His creatures as he thinks well, without consulting them in the matter; then it is that we are hissed and execrated, and then it is that men turn a deaf ear to us, for God on His throne is not the God they love.
- Charles Spurgeon
1834 – 1892
1) Hadn't realized it until lately, but physical fitness/slimness. Have never really had a weight problem, have exercised, try to eat fairly well, and stayed slim/trim. Last 6 months I've had another birthday, begun "peri-menopause," sent youngest to college, etc, and have not only gained weight, but lost tone/strength. Now am more insecure than ever when thin, young, physically fit woman is pointed out to me, or I just see her!
2)Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive, see and believe the treasure we have and the treasure we are, and to let His beauty be upon us
3)Paul-I have to "die to self" multiple times daily and,
"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing."
Romans 7:19
Kathy W
Mansfield, TX
40's (late)
Married
pinkmommy
30
AR
Married
1. At this time in my life, my most prominent false positive is the very first one you listed. "A great man would make me secure." I am married. My husband is not horrible. But I can be so critical of him in my head and I'm really bad about comparing him to my friends husbands and thinking of ways he could be better at being married to me. I have got to give him a break and focus on being the wife he needs instead of trying to make him the husband I need. I have got to quit depending on him for my happiness and satisfaction and depend on God alone for everything. It's a daily struggle.
2. "Yes ma'am" ;) Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. Oh, what a daily prayer to pray!
3. Rachel and Leah. I thought of them before you ever mentioned them. Bless their hearts! How many times have I done something thinking "Now he will really love me!" or "Now he will really appreciate me."? Bless our hearts!
Choosing only one false positive was hard. False positive would be beauty/weight. It's been hard to see the weight I've gained, the wrinkles, the droopy eye lids, the thinning lips and so on and on. How could anyone love me?? Because that's what my self worth is based on??
He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
I identify with the lady at the well. I've been married, yes I can say it, 4 times. I have been embarrassed to say that when meeting someone and they ask. I hate to say 4 because I think they will think less of me or she couldn't get it together or worse yet she must really have some problems....those poor men. Yes, I have some problems and it stems from my desire to want to please at no matter the cost to me. My self worth is zero when it comes to men. I deserve everything that happens to me. There I've said it again. Wow Insecurity is blaring!! But I know God is healing me and I'm so thankful.
Linda
50's
Tulsa
divorced (of course)
I'm so frustrated. Anywhere I order the book they tell me a few days after I order that they are very sorry that they can't send it. Argh... I guess I'll discuss with myself when I finally get it on my next trip to the US in 2011... Sorry, had to vent, was very excited about this book.
I have already added my basic info, but I elect not to identify myself in this post. (I think I may also be a week behind in posting but decided not to let that stop me). Your book has been a 'Godsend' for me, Beth. I cannot pinpoint my false positive(s)because I realize that I am a walking mess and have several! I have always known myself to be insecure but, I have now been able to really recognize it for what it is now and feel as though there is hope for me! I feel you are speaking to ME directly as I read and can so relate that I feel it is a gift from God to help me. You see, I have felt such a mess that I have begun to be insecure that God doesn't love or want me anymore. I have been in Christ since I was a young teen and am now in my early 40's. I am barreling through your book and stop frequently for a good cry and confession before God. I am beginning to see that He does still love me and can still use me! God bless you for writing the book- and Praise God for you and your ministry!
Married
40's
Az
Sheryl
PA
40's (at the very end of that decade!)
Married
1. I think my weight and body image are a big false positive, but I also struggle with thinking that a successful career would give me security. I walked away from teaching 9 years ago and have not had a full-time job since. I struggle with not being able to contribute financially to our household and seeing that burden completely on my husband's shoulders. I always feel inferior to women my age who are successful and talk about their work.
2. My challenge is to let the healthy and secure part of me completely overtake me until it drives, every emotion, reaction, and relationship. I need to walk in God's truth so that every false positive is eclipsed by what I do have and what I really am - His treasure made by His own hands: Sheryl in Christ.
3. The person from the Word I related most to is Rachel (also the name of my beautiful daughter). What resonated most for me was Beth writing that "nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else to make you a smidge insecure." I find it easy to believe that God is the God of the impossible and does amazing things, but sometimes it is tough to believe that He would do those things for ME.
Suzie
47 and married in South Carolina
Here's something funny...I bought the book, not because of the title but simply because I love Beth's books and I was looking forward to reading anything she wrote. It never occurred to me that I was insecure....seriously....that is until I started reading and my jaw kept dropping to my chest because I realized the root of a lot of my mental gymnastics are rooted in insecurity.
Who knew?
Although I see myself in the entire definition of insecurity, the main points of the definition that apply to me are: a deep uncertainty about whether her own feelings and desires are legitimate and self-sabotage.
I was never allowed to express anger or my feelings as a child. I was always lectured to about how "bad" I was but never built back up to counteract those negatives. When I'm legitimately angered, frustrated, disappointed, sad, etc...instead of dealing with the emotion I talk myself out of feeling that way and shove the emotion deep down inside of my soul where apparently it has festered into a root of insecurity.
Self-sabotage is my never ending merry-go-ride for weight loss and relationships. Either I disappoint myself or I let people disappoint me.
Yep...it's all becoming a little too clear Satan...you liar!
This is unrelated to week two's assignment but wanted to say one, how thankful I am to have Beth Moore as my "cyber space mama" and two, how wonderful it is to be part of this 6,000 group of women and know that I'm not going through this process alone...I'm so encouraged by both!
Sharon,
Sycamore, GA
40's
Married
1--no brainer for me: beauty/thinness.
*i can remember various ways of trying to deal with this-ripping the tags out of my jeans as to "not be defined by a number"..and then the fact that i had done so eating a way at me like some secret that was going to be told to the masses.
*skipping multiple meals a day and working out after 3 hr practices on the ball field to make sure that stick of gum didn't add an extra eyelash of weight
*multiple attempts to go down the eating disorder road, only to be rescued by the grace of God in the form of a worship experience that woke me up, or a concerned friend knocking me upside the head with truth
2--yes mama ;)
TO LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE, AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US INCREASINGLY OVERTAKE OUR EARTHEN VESSELS UNTIL IT DRIVES OUR EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP.
3--moses. MoSES. MOSES. i have known what i was called to do for a long time and fought insecurity about it since day one. i have taken, to the glory and by the provision of God, some big steps towards that--moving across state lines and away from everything and everyone familiar to where He has called me, and giving up a large scholarship and job opportunity where everything would have been secure and easy. but the move also brought me to a town where everybody-and-their-brother is basically here for the same things that i feel called to do and be a part of--and most of them (in my insecure eyes) have done it longer, do it better, and are way more qualified. my biggest insecurities lie in my looks, and although the actual "job description" is not based on that, it does require me to be in a world of people whose "image" is very important and being in front of people is a large part of it. i have prayed that same prayer "God i know someone else can do this better than me-someone that is trained, and cute and cool, and knows how to put the words together better than i do..."-- every bit of confidence i had was left at the state line. but God has continually put people in my life, and blessed me with opportunities that confirm that this is the road He wants me on. and to His undeniable, and scandalously beautiful love and credit, we are doing the thing!!!
abby lane
20s
single
nashville, tn
I am going to answer this outside the box a bit - and anonymously. Someone mentioned wanting to move their weight from their hips to their breasts. And then all the women who have insecurities about looks - so here goes.
My biggest insecurity most of my life was my looks. I was very flat-chested and got made fun of for it. There was a problem with pornography in our marriage and then on top of that I had to have some additional biopsies which left my already flat chest - deformed. So I got implants.
Here's the deal. God has healed and redeemed every single thing that was an issue from that time! - Praise to Him alone. But I still have the implants and am very insecure about what I will do when the time comes that they have to be removed/replaced. I won't pay that kind of money again and yet I fear my husband won't find me attractive anymore. I know better, but I have the fear and insecurity just the same.
Maybe I'm the only one - but maybe not.
Jennifer
Ohio
30's
married
1. I have examined the list of people who I tend to feel insecure when in their presence, (men and women) and I also read through your examples more than once to try to find a common denominator, and I am not sure if what I came up with is an accurate false positive... I think for me it may be people who appear secure in themselves - that makes me insecure. I am not sure if this is considered a false positive, though, but it is what I see as a common denominator. Their countenance reeks of security and assurance, and in their presence my insecurity mounts.
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. All of them, to some degree. Today, I'll choose Saul, because I commly battle the fear of something being taken away from me.
My false positive: If I could just find my “comfortable knitch” in this unpredictable world, then I’ll finally have the peace and strength to make a true difference. While searching for this “comfortable resting place” and believing that’s all I need, I’m wrestling with insecurities of selfishness, self-doubt, untrustworthiness of God, and most of all self-sabotage when I feel I’ll never find my “place” in this world.
Prayer: to have an unwillingness to let my weaknesses, feelings, and fears override my faith. Reminder: Fiercest enemy in my journey here with God is me.
2. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.
3. Hagar & Sarai. Reminded me of our human nature to not wait patiently upon the Lord when we fill insecure, and instead, return to doing things “our way.”
Bobbie
Danville, KY
70's
Single
My comments are on chapters 1 and
2. I have a 14 year old daughter (adopted) whom I have had since she was a baby. I feel very insecure in so many ways. I wonder so many things like: Am I too old to have the wisdom to guide her thru her teen years? She is a Christian and loves the Lord but there are so many issues out there that a teen has too face that I never had to face when I was a teenager. Or, I think, would she be better off with a younger "mom"? So many thoughts run thru my mind. I try to think of all the positive things I give her like attending church and all youth activities and having her in a Christain School. We pray together and play together. I just desire to raise her to be just what Jesus wants her to be.
And of course I battle with the feeling that I am so unworthy of all the blessings that God has blessed me with. And the feeling that 'who do I think I am asking God for this'.
I love the book and by His help I am going to overcome all my insecurities and I quote the 5-point pledge of the "believing God" Bible Study real often.
Thanks Beth for allowing God to minister to me thru your book.
Sister Lynn
Clyde MO
30s
Single (vowed to remain so)
1. False positive - being thin and beautiful. Which is crazy because in my head I KNOW plenty of thin beautiful people that are insecure but the enemy still taunts me with that one.
2. To allow God's truth to ecclipse every false positive and see the treasure we are in His eyes.
3.Leah... sadly because I have done some monumentally stupid things in order to try to "secure" someone's love.
I am 48 and married.
My prominent false/positive is my weight and figure. About a year ago I came under serious conviction about the food I was taking into this, my temple and resolved to eat more naturally. I radically changed life-long horrible eating habits by eliminating all white products (flour, sugar, salt, and white rice) from my diet. I am back in my size 4's and 6's - and happy about it too.
Hands down, Saul is the Bible character with whom I identify. In fact, I am in counseling to deal with a life long, deep seeded inferiority complex. I didn't go to the counselor with this knowledge initially, it has recently been revealed to me that inferiority, which goes even deeper than my insecurity is at the root of my previously unexplained depression. I've learned that depression is anger turned inward and I have years of it accumulated in this knot that my Abba is going to untangle. I can't tell you how many times I've read this blog with mixed emotions churning and battling on the inside. I now know that the envy I was feeling was part of the anger and depression. I stand on the threshold of dealing with an entrenched emotional issue that has plagued me for as many years as I can remember. Healing is coming and very soon, the healthy, utterly whole part of me will overtake this earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction and relationship. The verse that comes to mind as I ponder this challenge comes from 1 Corinthians 6:17 - But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in Spirit. Not only do I want His Spirit to permeate every fiber of my being clear down to the marrow of my bones, but I want Him to control every breath, heartbeat, thought, word, action, reaction, and relationship.
Dawn
Married in Ohio
49
Would you look at the cover of this book? How beautiful you radiate God's love Beth! YOU are darling!! Just the pricelss thought of God's perfect love being able to shine through all of us alike, is enought for any of us to grab your book off the shelf and figure out just what makes your countenance so enticing. I am honored to figure out this lie of insecurtiy right along beside you.
My pfp is probably aging. I don't mind getting older so much really,(lots of wisdom comes with age)it's just the feeling of not being able to help it. It's going to happen whether I want it to or not. Maybe I have control issues?
I just want my aging to take place ...well. I don't cherishthe thought of losing the ability to think and reason, or have my health deteriorate. I want to age timelessly with grace and dignity. To be beautiful in God's glory and to radiate it through to those around me as a woman who kept herself beautiful inside and out for her Savior and BFF.....Jesus.
I guess satan gets in the way and tells me the only way to be beautiful is....fill in the blank. Insecurity IS a bad friend to me and so are all of satan's lies that go with it.
Only Jesus satisfies my every longing. Only Jesus... He alone! "So Long, Insecurity", I have found a new friend. Her name is Security and she is God's very special gift to me.
I'd been made fun of in highschool and called "Fang" because I had a freak tooth come down when I was a Sophomore. I quit smiling for years and longed for braces to "fix everything"- my first false positive! Nearly four years ago, God blessed me by allowing me braces. BUT... I then transferred all that insecurity into a new false positive thinking, "If only I was the same weight my driver's license says I am, then...."
I related to Sarai and her jealousy. I try to make things work MY way, and then I have a mess to clean up, often involving jealousy over the situation somehow.
Sasha
Bellingham, WA
30's
Married
1. My "prominent false positive" is intelligence/education.
2.The challenge is "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
Lori
40's
married
Syracuse, NY
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Lacy
DFW
29
Single
My false positive right now would be friends or companions - I have never been so literally alone as I am at this point in my life. Here me again say literally...I have pushed away every friend with my insecurity, insanity, & strongholds. I'm so depressed that I can't get out of bed most days. Every sunrise & set is a I constant, nagging reminder that God & your momma are the only people that love you for who you are, but I just can't figure out why that doesn't seem like enough. When I go to the store or work when I can make it, I see people in the company of other people and think how beautiful it must be to have the support of dozens of friends.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I have to admit that I'm ahead on this weeks reading, because I can't stop until I get to the end and find out how to be whole for the first time in...well maybe my entire life.
Shari
Colorado
50's
Married
I saw three prominent false positives I've believed, and how damaging they have been. First, financial success -- When I am around people who are a success at saving, investing, and money management, I feel terribly inseure and envious, not for the things money could buy(I have many of those), but for the wisdom and discipline they have, and the future security and peace they seem to have.
Another one would be: a great man would make me secure. I think (sadly) that I poured my life into my husband's life, trying to put everything in place to have him be successful (I believed Proverbs 31!) -- to think I did so much of this because of my own insecurities. I did the same thing with my children. I was supposed to shine because of them. What horrible pressure on all of them. And me, I'm just an older, disappointed, and sometimes angry woman -- all because I really didn't get it -- how sad is that! On the outside we all look okay, even successful, but on the inside it just doesn't feel like that.
A third prominent false positive would be education with a degree. Self education just doesn't cut it does it?
If all these were in place I'd be respected and have something to offer at this time of my life right? And "hope deferred will make it angrier than ever." p. 39
2. The challenge
Let the healthy,utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion,reaction, and relationship.
3.In chapter four, I related far too much with Saul. I've not yet gotten over a couple of women from my past who I admired and despised at the same time -- in-law family members.
I'll keep reading and smiling. I am glad to share so openly with you all.
I have not yet read chapters 3 & 4, but just want to thank all of the women in this discussion group. Just knowing there are so many of us out there struggling with this issue is comforting. I see things in your posts that I have thought, but didn't have the guts to write. Thanks for writing them!
Last week, when Beth posted Week 1's assignment and hundreds of women posted their answers within what seemed like seconds of her post ... I immediately felt insecure... thinking... oh great, these women are all organized and have already read the book, etc. Then I thought... yep... you need to be reading this book Lisa!
This week, the moment I saw that Beth commented on two people's posts... the thought went through my head... I wonder if I would ever write something that someone would feel is worthy to comment on and again... I thought... OH MY GOSH you need this book!!! Seeing my insecurities surface and becoming aware of them is tough... actually embarrassing at times, but I know it is the first step in healing... so I am being transparent, sharing them openly with 6000+ women and believing God to change me!
Thanks for writing this book Beth, thanks for commenting ladies and thanks to my niece Kristen in Michigan... who is studying with me! Can't wait to see how God uses it to defeat this in our lives!
Lisa
Baltimore, MD
40's
Married
Nicole
20's
Married
Callaway, MN
I'm insecure just admitting this!!
My most prominent false positive:
If I can quote Sara Groves song, "Painting Pictures of Egypt" which says, "I'm caught between the promise and the things I know" that would describe my life and my lifelong battle with insecurity. I know the promise but the truth is that my dad abandoned me at a very young age and two men I loved(one is my husband) were unfaithful to me. I have a hard time accepting that God really loves me, sees me as valuable, doesn't think I'm annoying, etc...
I can relate to Saul because I too fear that everything will be taken from me. I am controlling because I don't trust anyone to take care of me.
Beth, just a question if I can be so bold; What is your prominent false positive?
I know you mentioned your "looks" issue but you tied that primarily with your husband. I'm just wondering what your main insecurity issue is.
Maybe I missed it somewhere and I hope it doesn't offend you that I ask.
Thanks
Lawan
50s, Married
Lawton, OK
1. My body. If I were thin I would not be insecure! However I know this to be untrue because I lost over 100 pounds and still complained about my body!
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. AMEN!
3. I can identify with Sarai. Not because I have done what she did but because she was controlling and manipulative and so am I. I hope not much anymore as God has worked on me for years! We both have tried to get what we wanted our way instead of waiting on God.
Thanks for encouraging us to relate to these folks, learning to understand and heal in the process. Loving the book.
Happily Married Thirty-Something
1) My false positive would be the desire for affirmation. Growing up I had a terrible relationship with my dad. He told me when I was in college, he'd made a decision when I was very young not to have anything to do with me or my sister, other than providing for us financially. He was there physically (still married today to my mom) but the only emotion he showed was anger. God has faithfully brought healing to me and to our relationship. However, I still deal with feeling like I'm not enough when I don't receive affirmation. It doesn't define me, but it definitely can bring me down at times, when I don't take Him at His Word about who He created me to be, His precious daughter.
2) " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3) Moses - not believing I have the ability to do what God has created, called and gifted me to do as His child, all the while knowing that it's Him who does it through us, in His strength. Silly me!)
Thanks, Beth. You've brought so much needed truth into my life over the last 10 years. So grateful to you for the hope that you share!
Beth, your post really tickled me. I was thinking ... I must be way more secure than I thought. We (me and my two girls)were so excited when we found your book in the LifeWay store. I didn't care who saw me. I grabbed the book, and we walked through the store to see what else we might need. I was thinking how it didn't bother me one bit to place it on the counter and let the man check our our purchase. Then I remembered my 9 year old, Katelyn, carried it through the store for me!! Hee, hee! Upon her request, of course!!
Amy
Washington D.C.
20s
Single
BETH! BETH, BETH, BETH...I'm going to be commenting later on the chapters, but I HAVE to say this to you now. I couldn't even get through the first part of your post without clicking on the comment section. While the two women you mentioned hid the title of the book it made me think of when I bought the book at a bookstore on Tuesday. I couldn't find it so I had to ask the employee where it was (and it was a guy no less!*hint of my second false positive*Lol). He showed me where it was and I couldn't grab it from his hands fast enough. With a huge smile on my face he just laughed and said, "Wow! You really wanted this book!" I said, "You have no idea how long I've waited for it!" I wanted to cry right then and there. I didn't hear about your book until last week so when I said he didn't know how long I've waited he didn't know I was talking in terms of years. I wasn't ashamed to take it to the counter (and by no means am I putting down the ladies you mentioned)...I was anxious! The moment the woman cashier saw it she was intriged. She said, "So Long Insecurity...I need this." From then I got into a five minute discussion about you and the study online. The more we talked the more she got interested and encouraged. I found myself encouraging her to get it, go online, and sign up. I walked away excited and she waved goodbye with a smile on her face. I hadn't even opened the book and God's presence was already starting the consuming process. I'm so excited and grateful for the words that the Holy Spirit filters through your hands and onto paper. I love you, sister. - Amy
Robin Filbeck
Irving, TX
40's
Married
1. My most prominent false positive - a good name/reputation, coming from a family that everyone knows/respects...I never realized that was a false positive of mine until Beth asked on page 37 "What do you tend to associate most with security? Think of a person you believe to be secure and determine what earthly thing he/she has..." For the most part, I am a bit more balanced about that now, but at my most insecure point in life, in college, I tended to think that the girls who came from prominent families, whose name went back generations, must have had it all, what in the world could they possibly be insecure about, right? I love, now, knowing that we are all part of God's prominent family and I can rest in His strong name!
2. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, His truth eclipses our false positive...I just LOVE that picture, so awesome!!!!!
3. Oh, boy...can I relate to Rachel! I've always wondered how in the world Laben could have been so thoughtless to put both his girls in such difficult positions, really?! Sister relations can be so strained when living in close quarters, but I have to believe in my heart of hearts, we didn't get the whole story and maybe, just maybe, in their strained, love/hate relationship, they shared some good times in those tents, too! I can't wait to hug sweet Rachel's neck and share a good cry with her! I'm sure my dear older sister will be lovin on Leah around the same campfire! I gotta add, though, our hubbies are surefire happy that they only have to take on one of us and neither has the burden of both of us, lol!!!! Gotta love our men, they sure love us!
Oops, just realized I posted my last name and everyone else is posting just first names, how's that for my prominent false positive coming out, how embarrassing!
Robin
Texas
40's
married
This comment has been removed by the author.
Patty
Colorado Springs, CO
50's
married
Oh, Beth, I have to say that I, too, see if I can get my husband to "volunteer the information" I so want to hear. And I also struglle with self-condemnation, big-time, with the background of abuse that I've had.
1. At first I was going to say the approval of my husband (in everything), but I realize that is really my second choice. My #1 false positive is measuring up to my own unattainable standards and expectations.
2. I know my challenge is to believe who I am in Christ. But not only that, it is to know deep in every part of my being, that God chose me, He created me and loves me beyond my understanding. My Father God is my world and my hope--and on Him only can I find my true security.
3. I can relate to the statement about Paul that said: "the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself". I know I hold myself back from fulfilling my destiny by believing the lies of the past and my own unattainable expectations. I am beginning the process of learning who I truly am and who I can be.
Tricia
married
50's
Palmdale,CA
week one answers
At work in the veterinary field, which is predominantly female; many of the young women felt they needed to alter thier beauty by having plastic surgery. These women were by no means plain as it were. They were having nose jobs and breast enlargements and I thought that was very sad.
The definition that stood out the most for me was if someone is angry with you do you have a hard time with obsessing about it. Since I was a child I wanted to please others. If they become angry with me I feel I've disappointed them and it drives me crazy. I apoligize and try very hard to get back in thier good graces.
My false positive is definitely a desire for success. I have always been quite the perfectionist, and it's worked well for me in general. But I know it isn't healthy to depend so much on ME getting everything right. I'm applying to medical school this summer, and it feels like if I can just get to being a doctor (what I really truly feel God has called me to do) then I'll feel fulfilled. But I know once I get there, I'll still have my struggles,etc. I have to remind myself daily to find fulfillment in God, not in my accomplishments. And to remind myself that every accomplishment is truly God's, because I live and work and grow only by His grace! But it is definitely a daily wrestle with my desire to create my own self worth...but with God's help, I'm getting there!
Victoria
Reidsville, NC
60
Married
Frist i want to say I GOT MY BOOK at a little book store my husbands cousions store , till me ANT GOD GOOD.
ok i may be lte but the last time i faced inscurtey was when i had to do a progream yep it truned out great
I am not sudre about this one but i am inscrue about myself i guess, all so bout money because of something .do i need to answer more now
Jennifer
Warner Robins GA
late 20's
happily married
1. "Prominent False Positive" Spiritual perfectionism, experience and wisdom
2.the challenge - to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, relationship!
3. biblical figure from chap 4: Mamabeth, I have always always loved studying the names of Leah's children- it cracks me up that the Bible does include some insecure, imperfect people...to be memorialized in such a way in print for the world to wonder at your mess-ups, to have your lineage carry the burden of your self-doubting and self-loathing... yet the goodness of God allowing Leah to realize, at her final child..."this time I will praise the Lord!" (Gen. 29:35) If we compare her choices in name meanings as to our choice in attitude, I see this comparison: the NET version says "and she stopped having children." When she got the attitude right, she ceased the action that she thought for surely would keep her man around and just yielded to God. I believe the day she said "this time I will praise the Lord!" was the day Leah finally decided to trust! Love it!
Marion
Round Hill, VA
40's/Married
Today I took my daughter to her guitar class and sat in their waiting room happily reading chapter 3. How inspiring...women...beautiful women and those who appear to have it all struggle with insecurity too. Wow. So I was feeling encouraged that is until after class. I walked out to my car and to my surprise my mom was outside sitting in her car waiting to say hello. She was looking at me funny and then said, "Are you using any cream around your eyes? I never noticed the lines you have like I do now. We need to go and get you a good eye cream."
I wasn't ready to lean a lesson about insecurity quite so fast. So I have 2 choices. Wonder the rest of my day if everyone else notices my "aging face" or hurry up and read chapter 4 and get on with this thing!
Christine
Cornelius, NC
40s
Married
False Positive - weight without a doubt. I can tell you in any picture that's ever been taken of me what size I was and my weight within 3 lbs. Not a day of my life goes by without thinking about what my weight is. My father truly dislikes fat people, my 1st husband would get mad at me for gaining too much weight. And I admit, those days I did use it to a bit of control, I'll show them attitude.
After I got divorced, I dated a man who said he'd marry me when I was a size 2. And you know, I did it. And I thought it was OK that he requested that of me. I thought that little of myself to literally starve myself days on end. Of course, I was so deep in sin then that I couldn't even recognize that was just Satan playing with my head. Praise God for not letting that relationship work out, but I do pray for his new wife frequently!
It's still always in my mind, but from a physically healthier aspect or so I thought, because now it's my love of desserts at church on Wednesday nights, and if my new sweet love of my life husband will like whatever I'm making. And he doesn't judge me. But then again, I'm not very happy in these extra pounds either.
And then last night we watched the last video on Living Beyond Yourself, self control. Whoa, God was working through you straight over that screen to me!! I felt like those words were just made for me to hear. I had never thought of that stuff being an idol before. But it's true, I've given so much more thought on a daily basis to my weight/diet/size than I've ever given to God! I had never even gone there before. I had never thought that this would grieve him. And so that's done, gonna eat healthy stuff and exercise and move on. No more making it the idol of my life, no more letting Satan win on this one. I'm made in the image of God and the enemy is not welcome here!
Thank you Beth for your ministry, and for allowing God to speak to us through you.
The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction,and relationship!"
I guess I identify most with Moses. He did not feel worthy for what God was entrusting in him, many times questioned should it really be him? Choose someone else. Not me. I'm not _____ enough, whatever it might be.
1)I think that beauty/financial security is my prominent false positive
2)Chapter 3 challenge:
"In Him is no Darkness at all.To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow Gods truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And thebeauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. (Psalm 90:17)
3)I think that I can most relate to Sarai and Hagar-no being able to give someone what they want and also Rachel and Leah thinking God doesnt like you enough to give you what someone else has.
I enjoy reading everyones responses. They are so refreshing and eye-opening for me, that we all have so much in common. I cant wait to read more of this book!!
Jeanine
Athens, NY
45 and married
1) I guess my "prominent false positive" would have to do with ministry. Surrendered to full-time ministry when I was a teen. So, some 30 years later, although there have been opportunities to serve here and there, the real dream has never been fulfilled. The confusion of feeling called and yet never "getting there" is brutal. More insecurites grow from there. What's wrong with me? Am I too old, too short, not attractive enough, not smart enough, is my faith too weak, etc... On and on it goes.
2) "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us."
3) Paul - "He (She) was a complex mound of clay just like the rest of us, belittling and boasting in himself (herself) in a dizzying pyschological zigzag... Like us, the fiercest enemy he (she) had to fight in the fulfillment of his (her) destiny was himself (herself). To Paul (Jeanine), the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of himself (herself) that would deny, destroy, or distract fromt the great work of God in him (her)."
Betty
Salt Lake City, UT
60
Married
1) My false positive is the good opinion of others. Sometimes it's hard to let go of wondering over and over what I may have done wrong. It can be challenging to balance the task of sorting through the lies and at the same time being willing to own my own stuff.
2) The challenge for me is to prioritize with energy and focus the things that will fill me with His Spirit. As Beth points out, "Jesus is not unhealthy" and as He increasingly fills me and enlivens me , every lie will be broken and "God's truth will eclipse every false positive." In so doing, how humbling and at the same time empowering to have "the beauty of the Lord my God" upon me.
3) Hagar stands out for me. She endured such great injustice, completely alone and shut off from earthly security. She found comfort in God's provision and said yes to it instead of pitying herself for what appeared to be second best.
Prominent False positive for a long time has been "if only I was married, I would be more secure, it would mean i was worth it." That praise God is slowly starting to change but it still trips me up!
2. Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. We will allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. Sarai. I always fear that if I don't get what i think will make me feel secure I will go out and make my own way like Sarai did.
Corrie
29, Single
Colorado
Betty
Salt Lake City, UT
60
I was so encouraged by what "Little Steps of Faith" said. How great to understand some of these things at 29. I really identified with your comment about feeling left out rather than jealous. You hit the nail on the head. That feeling of being left out can reinforce the lie that I was left out, because I wasn't good enough. Thanks for sharing!
Dionna
late 30's
married
Boise, ID
1. I was trying to figure out my most prominent false positive. It's hard because one doesn't shout out at me but a little bit of several of them do resonate. Probably popularity if I had to pick one I resonated with most. Maybe that's why I battle with being a "pleaser" because I hate it when I'm not liked. (But I'm working on it:))
2. Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Bible Character? Probably Leah & Rachel. Rachel because I know I am loved "the most" by my husband but Leah because I was chosen 2nd. My husband was married before. And the loss of my own dreams and hurts from the "1st" in the process have been like a constant shadow in my heart.
Jennifer
McKinney, Texas
30's
Married
1). My false positive is definitey that the more money I have the more people will like and accept me.
2).To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reation, and relationship.
3).Sarai and Hagar only because, I can see myself going against what I really want to make someone else happy so there won't be conflict. Then, when I don't get the feelings or results I thought their happiness would bring I blame them. So disfunctional ;)
Thanks for this book Beth, it's life changing. The prayers are amazing!!
Prominent False Positive: That if I were married, I would be happy.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17, NKJV).
3) Oh, how I relate to Rachel. How many times have I manipulated to get a man, and guess what, once I got him, I didn't want him!
Michele
Racine, WI
40's
Single
I have been reading through the posts and wonder, Beth, if you are noticing that half of us wrote "...until it drives OUT every emotion..." and the other half wrote "...until it drives OUR every emotion..." - does this say something else about our insecurities, or just our reading/copying abilities?
Dawnn
Married
42
Fort Washington, MD
My false positve is the financial security. I so identify and have experienced much of what is being discussed in teh book; the insecurities having driven me to take care of myself, however, when I lost my job over 2 years ago...that was a shaking to the core. God has done a tremendous job with teaching me that He is the only source and a job is coming soon but I don't want to get back into a false positive again! Thank God for this teaching.
I mostly identified with Leah. Never feeling good enough and always thinking that it is something that I can produce to get the approval or attention from people.
Interesting observation, Kerrylaine!
Nicci
Waterloo, Belgium
34
Married
1. My weight/size has always been my prominent false positive. When I was younger I wanted to weigh more as I was made fun of for being too thin. Now I worry that I have gotten too big because I'm not the "tiny one" anymore. I have a very skewed vision of myself in my mind.
Also in the last few years, financial security has become a false positive for me. We were in debt for living above our means and have pulled our way out of it. I thought it would make me feel so much better than it did. I still feel very unsure and uneasy about our financial life.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I identified with the feelings of jealousy and seeing others as a threat. Saul, Hagar and Sarai.
I find that these feelings of jealousy and seeing others as a threat come from my baggage when I was younger. I had some very unhealthy relationships with both girl friends and boyfriends. I have been blessed beyond belief with a healthy marriage and a husband so different from anyone I ever dated, but in friendships with women I still struggle.
Megan
age: 17
single
Riverside, Illinois
1. My prominent false positive is my grades. People look at my and think, "Oh, she's smart she's fine," but that's not really the same thing.
2. The challenge in chapter 3 is,
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. The woman at the well in John 4 resonated with me the most. She has for a long time, only because I first had a connection to that story when the church Drama Improv team I had JUST joined was asked to perform a dramatic reading of that passage for our Youth group. I was asked to read for her, because I'm the only improv girl on the team. Having just gotten out of a relationship where I compromised some of my morals for security, I was very emotional in finding out how much I could relate to the woman at the well, and how much I wanted the living water Jesus was offering instead.
1) Wow, I’ve never thought about everyone having their own “false positives” but it is so true! I think that mine would probably be relationships/marriages because marriage is something that I want and have not experienced yet. I guess I assume that they have someone that will be there for them, when it reality it may not always be the case. I liked what pinkmommy said about “having a great man would make me secure” and Michele “If I were married, I would be happy.” I totally understand where you are coming from!! Let’s hope God can help us through this insecurity!
2) Let God open our eyes to the treasure we have and the treasure we are in Christ!!
3) I can relate to Moses. I know God is performing a huge work in my life but sometimes I feel so inadequate! I know that God chose me and I don’t want to let him down but it is definitely a struggle. My main insecurity is speaking in large groups. Recently I gave my testimony in church and asked my Sunday school sistas to pray for me that I don’t have sweat rings while I am testifying!! How crazy is it that I have to add sweat rings to my prayers!! If Moses can get through it, so can I!! I just have to rely on God more!
Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single
As shallow as it sounds in my own mind as I type this, my answer to question 1 is having a great physical appearance - especially being thin! As crazy as it seems, I have truly believed that if I was completely satisfied with my physical appearance all of the other problems wouldn't matter so much any more! That I would then be a happy and content person. Period.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship." "Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and open our eyes to the treasure we have."
Saul: People that I admire make me feel threatened and insecure. I'm jealous of people that I admire or have qualities that I admire. I want to be proud of and happy for these people - and I am to a certain degree; however, there is this tinge, deep down somewhere inside me, that is disgruntled by the fact that they have achieved or obtained something I wanted/still want.
Jami
30s
Married
Insecurity #1- my preordered book has still not arrived! I hope it comes soon because #2 - I just had a passport photo taken - need I say more?
Cassie,27
married in Bishop,Ca
1)My most prominent false positive would be to be "Perfect" then I would have no flaws on my body, I'd be popular(able to get along with all different personalities)a wife who doesn't get jealous of other spouses who are really active in the church...
2)To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3)Well that would definetly have to be Moses because the perfectionist that I aim to be, feels that I am never good enough and thinking God could find someone a whole lot better for the job.
Mandy,40s married Rocky Point NC
My promininet false positive at this time would be financial security.Presently I am the main breadwinner,my husband is not able to work d/t dx MS and my daughter,her husband and their 2 year old son are liveng with us until they get on their feet,plus our college aged son.As a child my dad was not able to work alot d/t emotional issues and my mom was the main breadwinner.I don't remember as a child worrying about money but I sure do it now.
The Biblical figure I most resonated with is Paul.I love the fact that with God's help he did not let his weaknesses,feelings or fears override his faith. That is where I want to stand.I am going to be praying regularly the challenge in chapter 2-Thanks Beth!
This addresses the first weeks questions. I identify with most with the fear of rejection. I have imaginary conversations in my head and will convince myself I will not be accepted. Due to that thinking I do not pursue close friendships and talk myself out of new opportunities such as leading a women's study at church. The thought "I can't do that" feels like it is permanently with me. Sandra in Asheville, NC
Love this book! I think it's interesting the discussion regarding the cover and your picture cause I have to honestly say if someone asked me what the cover looked liked....I wouldn't know. Kinda like when the ladies I was in the David study would mention your hair...I was like what? What are you talking about? Who cares about her hair...listen to that teaching coming out of her mouth! Sorry, that's just me.
1. Prominent False Positive...I would have to say family or sense of it. I grew up in a crazy abusive family and I longed for a 'normal' one growing up. Also felt like I had was somehow less because my family was different than most. Mental illness is not easily explained or accepted.
As an adult I just then let insecurity gnaw at me that somehow I was going to be lacking as a wife and mother because of how I was raised.
On page 36 it says... "Security in any earthly thing simply cannot be sustained." I so understand this.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthern vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
3. woman at the well.
Waving a red flag with the letters i-n-s-e-c-u-r-i-t-y...definitely.
But I do love that she knew or thought she was a social outcast in His eyes but at the well He spoke to her, reached out to her in compassion. Beautiful!
Michelle
Woodstock, Vermont
40's
married
just a Word of encouragement as we head straight-on into this battlefield for our security... "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds." (2 Cor 10:4)
i read this morning in my time with God, and i was struck with the amazing POWER we have in our hands-- the weapons with which we will fight this battle have DIVINE power to DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS!
amen! let's go into the battle with the power of Christ in our hands... He will be victorious!! :)
Karen
Springfield, MO
40's
Married
Hmmm, False positive? WEIGHT - I'm overweight, work out of my home and look for execuses to be able to stay inside, sometimes, for up to a week without taking a step outside. AND like Little Steps of Faith, I used to be a cutter and struggle daily with the thoughts of needing to do it again. Somedays it's not as hard as others, but it's still there.
Who do I identify with? Probably Moses....whenever I'm faced with a new project, I always think that someone else is better equipped to do the job.
Challenge? To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship.
OK, guess this will be my last try to get posted. Haven't seen any of my posts yet. This makes me feel very insecure!!
You should see my poor journal, and how many times I have tried to answer Q3 shortly.
Q1. I honestly don’t think I have a Prominent False Positive. I have many small aggravations. :0)
Q2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Q3. Leah resonated mostly with me. Why? This is not how my life is now but… Once upon a time I felt unloved by my husband. I fell slowly into a black hole of despair and emotional turmoil. A place I never want to revisit. Saved as a young girl and not able to make my husband happy no matter what I did; I felt as though I deserved to be unloved. After two years of in-depth Bible Study, I hit the bottom of that black hole and finally allowed God to lift me out. Praise Him that He lifts us out of our holes faster than we went into them! I now know and feel that I am loved by my God and by my husband.
Teresa
30’s - Married
Bardstown, KY
Teri
Tiny Little Hamlet in VA
50 Married
My most "Prominent False Positive"??
(Leave it to you, Beth, to make a question about insecurity dissolve me into a fit of giggles! It sounds like a pregnancy test :-))
Sobering right along, mine is the same one I've always had -
"Beauty would make me secure"
now
"Recapturing youthfulness" just piles insult onto injury!
I identify with the "Samaritan woman-at-the well" most. Not because I've had 5 husbands (or men I've lived with), however.
I always sensed that she had lived with silent shame before being exposed to open shame with different husbands, men, and her community.
The beauty of that scene at the well is Jesus Himself, who was the one "man" who could see right through her and STILL wanted to give her "living water" - Himself.
I want that gaze that saw through her pain and her shame to burn into my soul so that I can....
"...Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our (my) eyes spring open to the treasure we (I) have, there in His glorious relfection we'll (I'll) also see the treasure we (I) are (am).."
Lindsey 20's married Tallahassee, FL
My hubby knew I was hunting for the book so he bought for me- proving his lack of insecurity, and like most I took the cover off, the cover can slip around and I am one (control freak) that hangs on with a death grip to whatever I am holding onto.
Girl, I mean Ms. Beth, I felt your hand come out and whack me with the ugly truth stick when you said the words "addicted to dread" phrase. Boy, I had to take that to Jesus immediately. Since I did He has told me- stop that you are doing that addicted to dread thing again.
Thanks so much for delivering the truth!
Q1: Constant emotional balance
Q2: Our challenge is “to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.”
Q3: I enjoyed the part about Paul on pg 57, “Paul also battled a big, fat ego…..but his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith. Like the rest of us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself….By the grace of God I am what I am (1 corinth 15:10). It resonated with me because I feel my mind and emotions are my biggest enemies!
Michelle
30’s, MI
Married with a one year old
Never participated on a blog before
Lisa/IA/30s/Single
1. My prominent false positive has to do with comparing myself to others. I try to live up to other people who I perceive are smarter, funnier, and more personable than I am. In addition, I put myself above people who I perceive to be less personable than I am. Furthermore, I allow other people’s opinions of me to direct my emotions. If I’m not invited to an event, I am deeply wounded. Or, I will have a great time at a party and then on the way home I will let myself think that I said stupid things or made a fool of myself. Or, if a guy I’m interested in doesn’t respond to me how I think he should, I will send myself into unmovable depression. I absolutely hate the tailspin that I put myself through, especially when I know that no one is going to remember that I sang that one Karaoke song, or the comment that I made. People tell me that I am smart, funny, pretty, and that I have a lot of things going for me, but I don’t believe them. I continuously beat myself down and compare myself with others so that I can be like them.
I could probably also claim marriage as a false positive. As I was reading other’s posts about feeling insecure in their marriage I thought to myself, “Really? Married women are insecure?” Thanks for your honesty ladies!
2. To believe deep down inside that we are as precious as God does. (In my own words)
3. The discussion of Rachel and Leah resonated the most with me. Leah’s desperation to win over her husband happens in our lives everyday. In today’s culture women will stop at nothing to get a man to notice them. Whether or not other women are playing our game, we compete with other women by dressing inappropriately, openly flirting with men, or giving away our bodies in order to win a man. Basically Leah is having children to compete with Rachel for their husband’s love, and Rachel falls pray to this by comparing herself to Leah. The ironic thing is that Rachel already had what she wanted (Jacob’s love) but she was driven to want more out of insecurity. This is a good example of how outlandish insecurity really is.
Amy Storms
Santa Clarita, CA
33
Married
1. Prominent false positive: Job certainty/career success would make me secure. (My husband's job security, I mean. Since I don't have a job, I worry over his. :)
2. Challenge: To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3. Paul: "belittling and boasting in himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag...the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself." Me, to a tee.
20s, married.
1. False positive: to be used of God. It seems like a positive thing, but somehow I manage to turn it into an idol and measure of my worth.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
I liked the line on page 57 where you said that "the essence of the crucified life was daily dying to the part of yourself that would deny, destroy or distract from the great work of God in you." I resonated with that because my shame has been this distraction ever since childhood. I used to think shame was a good thing because it made me sorry for my sin, "It was a good punishment" but now my eyes are opened to see that inordinate shame is sin, and Jesus' blood has purified my consicence from dead works to serve the living God. (Heb 9:14)
3. I'd identify with Moses because a mentor used to call me, "little Moses" because I was too afraid to speak/teach when I was asked to. I'm still terrified of it, so much so that my stomach churns at just the thought of it. I covet your prayers for freedom in this area - either to not feel compelled to speak (because I hate even just the thought of it) or freedom to obey if it be God's will.
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1. My Prominent false positive is that I use to think I wouldn't be insecure about my looks if I could gain some weight. Now I have went in the opposite direction and am insecrue about being overweight.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3.Sarai and Hagar - jealousy never makes us secure niether does trying to hurry/rush God in His timing for His will.
Kristi
Rogersville, TN
30s
Married
I have to laugh at the comment from the lady whose book came to her office and the awkward situation she was in.....I wonder what the lady at the checkout at Sam's Club thought of my level of insecurity when I purchased 5 copies at one time!
(Talk about looking crazy!)
Chris
40's
Married
Canton, NC
1. Someone to love me, again, my future prince.
2. I am going to identify myself with a statement made on page 47, "nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants. Three years ago I was engaged to a guy I had dated off and on for 6 years. The entire time I knew we weren't spiritually yoked, I think its 2 Cor. 6:14. But, I was already in love with him and doing well spiritually, so I thought I would help him along and then one day he would become the leader. However, he broke off the engagement 6 months before the wedding. Response from him, "he just didn't think I loved him.."
I am still a virgin and I believe that this is why I lost this guy I was in love with. I couldn't give him what he wanted. I had made a promise to myself at the age of 14, and to this day, wear a silver purity ring a mentor had made for me that says "Love Jesus", and so I desire maintain my purity until marriage. And so far, I have and don't regret keeping this gift for my prince one day. Sometimes, I wonder if there truly is another person God has for me? Did I lose out, just because I kept my standards high?
3. "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
Devin
25
Single
Birmingham, AL
Question 2 and 3 out of order...
Sorry girls!
Devin
Diane
Missoula, MT
40's
Married
My most prominent false positive would have to be weight which really surprised me. I lost 25 pounds over a year ago. Recently gained 10 back and am really disappointed in myself. Didn't realize how much my happiness was tied to my body image.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I identify most with Moses because I fear speaking in front of people even when I feel I have something worthwhile to say. I'm so afraid I will sound stupid that I let it hold me back. And that's just plain sad.
Pat
Valley Center, Ks
40's
Married 26 years
1. Most prominent false positive:Credentials would make me secure.
2.Challenge: " To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. Moses by far!(I can relate to "Please God, just find someone else.") I know God is calling me to step up to a task and I have been fighting Him about it for nearly 3 years. I have been begging for someone else to do this and it's just not happening. Our Lord is patient and is continuing to press me and He is winning! I have decided the pain of change is more desirable than the pain of staying the same! Praise God, He is bringing my husband along side to walk with me through this!
God Bless ALL my siestas as we go through this.
Saved by Grace
40's
FL
Married
1.) My biggest false positives are safety of environment and financial security. I've never been one to be intimidated by "The It Girl". I love women and I love being around women who love women, no matter how pretty or together they are. Probably the most valuable lessons I learned in college stemmed from living in my sorority house - one of those lessons being that whether a girl was crowned queen or chosen for the cheerleading squad, she still slipped her jammies on one leg at a time, brushed her teeth, and suffered the pains associated with a shattered heart - all just like me.
2.) "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are."
3.) Sarai and Hagar are the hands down winners!!!! I'm reminded of a time when I was young and incredibly insecure - many of my friends and I were actually in awe of this one girl who had managed to date a certain playboy/BMOC, and keep him as her boyfriend for years, merely b/c she acted like she did not care if he fooled around on her. She never lost her cool, never got emotional, never let anyone see her sweat over it. We were amazed at her level of unflappable steadiness. We wondered why we could not achieve such a calm and unfettered style. Can you believe that?? We aspired to be just like her - a woman settling for a lousy relationship!!!! We actually thought she was someone we should aspire to be!!!! How crazy is that??? And, how pathetic??? Obviously, she was either miserable, or she really did not care about the guy, b/c no woman who Truly Loves her man is going to be happy if he's sleeping with someone else!!! We were in awe of a sad, pitiful dynamic!! What's worse is maybe she wasn't even miserable!!! Maybe b/c of a warped level of insecurity, she thought that was as good as it got!!! Wow!
Sabrina
Lincoln Nebraska
married
50s
The last time I came face to face with insecurity was to comment on this book. I wrestled with what to say all week and then felt dumb about feeling that way.
What resonated most to me in Ch 2 was when Beth said "I need someone who will love me when I hate myself." I am hard on myself and often wonder how God could forgive me again and again and still love me. Yet, I am continually telling others, my daughters included, how much He loves and forgives them. I just can't wrap my brain around the idea that I am worthy of that kind of love.
Prominent False Positive: A 3-way tie
1. A great man will make me secure.
He walked out on me. (God restored!)
2. Financial success...lost job, twice
3. Beauty...60+ Need I say more.
The challenge:
To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positve and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17 NKJV).
Who do I relate to most:
Saul...not a constant terror, but still fearing a loss of admiration (ministry) Thank you for the reminder that God alone is in charge of my destiny.
This sure hurts in a good way!
FG
Birmingham, Al
60's
Happily Married
Amy, late 30's, married, Orlando, FL.
1. Do I have to choose only one? ;) Most prominent: Success/direction in ministry (and I hate that it's that too, does that make sense? I mean isn't Jesus' calling validation enough? ugh.)A runner up would be: always being strong emotionally and spiritually.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. Amen and so totally be it Lord!
3. I had 100 LOL moments reading their stories. You are so hilarious. I can probably relate to all of them in some way, but the disciples at the Lord's Supper and "The need to be considered the greatest is always rooted in the gnawing fear that we're not." Always wondered what was behind that puzzling emotion of mine. Not feeling like I'm the best often leads to PERCEIVED rejection on my part. Thanks for shedding the Light. And Paul, "he was enormously used of God in spite of himself" And how girl.And how.
I'm almost to Ch. 6 and God has reached down and literally grabbed my heart several times. It almost feels like I had waking sleep apnea. He was so plainly speaking to me, my heart flat out stopped. And then the squirting tears. The "you really do see Lord don't you?" tears.
pg. 19, "Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form." Confirming God's call to me this year to overcome the need for perfectionism.
pg. 20- 2nd large paragraph. "an inordinate desire to make peace that is not always others or God centered." thought I was the only one who has teetered on the brink of insanity with that one.
pg. 39"No one solitary thing on this entire planet has the power to secure everything else. Not even a long-awaited child.." Right before reading this line I felt this whisper,it seemed out of place. It said, "You have made this adoption an idol." Then I read those two lines. I never wanted to make it an idol. I've tried so hard not to. But hope deferred makes the heart sick. And our little Hope (her name) has been "deferred" almost two years now, with 2-3 more years possibly to go, and my heart is battling to overcome the pull of idolatry in her adoption (from China) every day lately. So glad for the reminder that it is not her I am to seek, but the God who so graciously allowed us to be a part of His plan in her life.I've gone on way too long, appreciate you much.
Patty
Kingwood, TX
50's
married
1. I guess maybe the overriding “false positive” or lie that I believe would make everything better is: ‘if I could just think clearly and quickly on my feet’. I feel like I just disintegrate into a pile of mush if I’m under pressure to say something ‘live’. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing or say the right thing the wrong way. So I often just say nothing.
2.Challenge “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of (me, that is Christ in me) increasingly overtake (my) earthen vessel until it drives (my) every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When (I) allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let (my) eyes spring open to the treasure (I) have, there in His glorious reflection (I’ll) see the treasure (I am). And the beauty of the Lord will be upon (me).
3. I suppose I most identify with Moses. So often God has had to back me into a corner to get me into position to practically force me to step up and do what He desires me to. Like Moses I look back at my earlier failures and rejections and at my weaknesses and say, “God I can’t, I’m afraid, I’m a slow thinker, etc., etc.” And He says, “you can’t, but I can do it through you if you’ll let Me…..”
But lately I also identify with Paul b/c as God gives me success in the things He’s called me to do I can so easily slip into pride/ego/selfish ambition, forgetting that it’s still and always will be all about HIM and not about me.
False positive: being married with children. I just turned 40, but since I've never been married & don't have any children I don't feel like a "real" adult woman. I don't feel like I fit in with other women my age because they all have families. I feel like if I could just have my own family, all would be well & I'd be OK. p.s.--I bawled my eyes out when I read that not even the long-awated child would heal insecurity.
1. My prominent false positive would be "if I could be perfect"
(trying to be God - yikes) or at least excel at everything
(which I attempt to do through control), everyone would like
me. Obviously I can't do it all or control all situations and
that certainly will not win friends even if I could! I guess that
would be a combination of performance,popularity & power. Nasty combo.
2. To allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3. I identify most with Paul. Belittling and boasting in
himself in a dizzying psychological zigzag....the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself. Totally me, depending on how I've measured up in my own eyes.
Also Moses, Sometimes I think I'm not good enough, so someone else should just do it (those are usually during my belittling myself moments!)
oops - forgot
Sherri
PA
20's (29 today!)
Married
and I'm ticked that I can't edit my IMPERFECT comment because I forgot to post my stats!
My false positive that is most prominent would have to be my weight because, like a waterfall, that leads to all of my other insecurities...if only I could lose those pesky 10-15 lbs then I would look better in my clothes, feel more confident, attract a man, get married, have a loving family...and all of this would validate to me that I am worthy to be loved. As I type this I realize how ridiculous it sounds. I am worthy of love because I am a Child of God, not because of a man or a future family. This leads me right into the Challenge.
As I am reading this book I realize how loud God is having to shout at me to be heard over my insecurities. I feel like I have my hands over my ears singing "La La La La La"--but God is in my face saying "You are beautiful to the One who created you, Beloved, Just the way you are. Am I not enough for you? Why do you need an earthly being to say the things I have been saying to you every second of your life?" I have an image of God, during this process of realizing my insecurities, slowly removing my hands from ears so I can hear His voice. I need to cling to His voice and shut out the pack of lies Satan feeds me! I hear Satan telling me "You would be attractive if you only lost weight" "You would make more money if you were smarter" All of these "if onlys"...These things are not important to my Heavenly Father. I can't do His work with this albatross of insecurity choking me. As Beth once told me in a Bible Study..."It ain't about ME". Well insecurity is all about ME and I have to stop focusing on ME and allow HIM to use me, warts and all.
I have always held a soft place in my heart for Leah who so desperatley wanted to be loved. She was used by her father to trick Jacob who didn't try to hide the fact that he loved Rachel more. Like me, Leah seeks her validation for feeling worthy to be loved in her father, sister, husband, and her children. I want to take my hands on either side of her/my face and slowly move her focus from earthly people up to our Heavenly Father. My ache for Leah is the ache I have myself. I know that the God of Everything, the God that one day every knee will bow to, is in love WITH ME! He is so in love with me that He can't get enough of me, He wants to talk with me every waking minute of the day, He never tires of telling me how much He loves me, He writes me love songs, poems, and love letters. Now after knowing all this, why is it so hard to believe it?
Kate
Concord, NC
30s
single
Mary
Dixon, IL
50’s
Married
1. My “Prominent False Positive” would be in the financial area. Being a Godly steward and living within Gods’ financial plan for us would make me secure. Doing it our way makes me insecure and fearful.
2. Our challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The woman at the well in the fourth chapter of John, and Paul are who I most resonated with. And to answer the why, because ONLY “By the grace of God I am what I am.” Amen
Cherie
40's
married
Bloomington, Indiana
1) First false positive is that if my kids are healthy and whole then I was/am a good Mom. I am one anyway. There, take that! It's all I have ever wanted to be:) I have 4 daughters and am the one who forgot to list my name in the first post but have a 20 yr old with an eating disorder. In fact, I am going to drop the next level of insecurity and tell you I have TWO daughters with eating disorders. Shew!
2) When we allow God's truth (amen) to eclipse every false positive adn let our eyeballs spring open to the treasuer we (already) have, there in HIS GLORIOUS REFLECTION. Similar words from my BFF on her deathbed to me~ sweet words Jesus!
3)Paul and the self sabatoge.....that dizzified thing where I hold tight to God's truth and know what I know, and in the next breath doubt my own thinking.
***Hey I love the cover Beth, and you are a cutie and you just celebrate that girlfriend!!
I am having a major insecurity attack--I ordered the book on line -of which it said they would ship 2.2.10 & I would also receive a 6 month subscription (I believe to an online bible reference sight!) I still have not received the book (2.18). Of which I seriously feel the company doesn't think I'm important enough to deliver the merchandize they have billed my credit card for! I was so looking forward to joining the group.
Marilyn--Kearney, NE--60---all alone!
Marilyn, would you email me at blog@lproof.org? Thanks!
My most prominent false positive is: Financial security will make me secure.
*When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are.
I think I most identify with Sarai. Although our lives are completely different, I have tried to manipulate people and circumstances to get what I think I want because of my insecurity.
Tammy
Lusby, MD
40's
Married
Sissy
Nederland, Texas
40's Married
This is my first post on insecurity & I am so insecure about doing it that I have stopped several times before I was finished because I just know it will sound dumb. I have a heavy country accent that most people are eager to point out, not in an ugly way, just jokingly, I teach preteens and they love to try and talk like me, so when ask to get up in church to give a testimony about teaching Sunday School I do a Moses thing, except I'm talking to the Pastor, no don't ask me I can't do it you know I'm country to the bone and nobodys gonna pay attention to what I say, just the way I'm saying it. I sing on the Praise team but have given up singing solos because I am so insecure about It. Right now I'm so insecure about even posting something that if I don't send it now I will erase it. I'm just a mess.
Hi Spiritual Mom Beth:)
Long week:)...My prominent false positive I figured out was my weight, but then I realized that it was much more than that, it's really my whole outer appearance and demeanor, ultimate christian woman-I wanted to look like I'm secure even if I'm not...To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship...Leah mainly, always intrigued by her; she was unloved and tried everything she knew to be loved, and then seemed to give up and interestingly enough, when Jacob died, he requested to be buried not next to Rachel, but to Leah. Did he love her in the end? I'd like to think so. There's so much to fix in me, but at least my eyes are open to it now! I am being set free, and that makes me want to be tearful! It's time.
Blessings, Love in HIM, ((HUGS)),
Katie G
20's
married
Knoxville, Tn
Tamara
Kelowna, BC, Canada
late 20s
single
1) My prominent false positive is thinking that having lots of friends and having people notice me will make me feel secure.
2) To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3) I most identify with Moses. I'm good at asking God to send someone else to do when He asks me to do something.
Devin, Devin, Devin, precious, precious Devin!!! He's out there!!! God is saving him just for you!!! My son is only 16...oh my goodness, I'm SOOO not matchmaking, he's a bit young for you, I'm simply making a comparison! He's sold out to Jesus and choosing purity for his wife. He has asked me the same thing you are asking...is there anyone out there saving themselves for me? YES, YES, YES!!! It's a lie from Satan for you to be feeling like giving up! You go, girl, and we'll ALL be praying for you!!!!!!!
Joyce
Married
Cyril, OK
Well, humm...I got so excited I went to Ch. 7, so I must back up alittle.
My prominent false positive is if I were smarter and knew the Bible better I could be a Christian Woman Speaker one day or could teach a women's class, because I love it so much...of well that not be so false. I'm trying to do something for the Lord.
This I need to learn:
Allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we are.
And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us. Ps. 90:17
What I like that you said is Jesus is not co-dependent with us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
I think I related to Moses, making up excuses and not feeling good enough. I do want to obey God though in my heart, even if I am afraid sometimes.
But, Sarai and Hagar__that story really open my eyes. It broke my heart to realize how far insecurity can take you.
This insecurity junk has got to go! God is the most important everything in my life!!!
My husband just handed me my cell phone and said you want to feel important take this. ha! (If he only knew, that is not security!)
I have women's meeting tonight, guess who is leading the devotion and brunch for later on __I am stepping out on faith, sister!
Bert,Paducah KY
30's Married
I missed the last assignment-sorry.
1. What you said about a "crack in the dam" yep! Let's just say, I've got lots of cracks and lately some of been showing!
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, uttely whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship. We will allow God's truth to eclipse every falsehood and let our eyes open to the treasure we have, and see the treasure we are... and the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us! amen. preach it sister!
3. Because I too relate to Saul, I think my false positive that is strongest is fear that others have something we don't or used.
YUK! That's really bites to admit!
Anna
age 30-ish
married
Tyler,Texas
1. My prominent False Positive is beauty. I believe- no assume- that all pretty people must be secure! I'm not a wallflower, but I just always look at pretty, long-legged, tanned beauties and think, "What on earth could you feel insignificant about?!"
2."Let the healthy, utterly whole, & completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, & realtionship"
As Ms. Beth would say, "Some body say Amen!" I'm actually going to put this statement on an index card and mediatate on that thought, pray this statement- until it is planted in my soul and blooms it's reality.
3. Oh goodness, it's Saul! pg. 55 "were not jealous of people in whom we see nothing admirable....the fact that they have something we dont makes us more insecure." Yeah, I get that. I understand Saul's struggle of being intrigued by and even admiring David- and subsequently feeling unsure about his place in the world.
A quick side note: I had my book out at work (cover and all!) and a co-worker asked, "what do you hope to gain from that book?" I told her, "to walk into any room and know that I am His: adored, cherished, and chosen."
Katie
48
Divorced/Single
Dallas, TX
1. My prominent false positive is that recapturing youthfulness and beauty would make me secure.
2. The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The biblical figure that resonated most with me was the women at the well. You only mentioned her in passing but I identify with her the most because although I have only been married once, I have had far too many serious relationships that did not work out in the end.
ASH
Cincinnati, OH
20's
single
"Everyday does not have to be ordinary"
www.faithdare.blogspot.com
1. Oh jeesh. Prominent false positives...Beauty (and everything that goes with it), and marriage/a family.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship
3. I think Saul...the whole comparison thing is huge for me...in EVERY area of life. There's always someone better--at least, that's what the insecure part of me says = ]
http://hiremelinda-hiremeanywhere.blogspot.com/
Linda Matsko
Tanya
Sierra Vista, AZ
30s/married
My most prominent false positive would be "if only I lost weight", "if only my hair wasn't turning gray", if only I was as pretty as.....". I am definately feeling that my self-image is what hangs me up the most and I have felt this way my entire life. The amazing thing is that in high school when I weighed 105 lbs. and now, when I weigh 180 lbs., the feeling has never changed. I realize that no matter how I look, it's not going to ever be good enough unless I let go of worrying about how I look.
The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I most identify with Eve. On pg. 46, Beth points out how "monumentally foolish decisions can catapult you into insecurities you might have lived the rest of your life without". I have to use my hands and my feet to count the monumentally foolish decisions I have made in my life...and I'm only in my 30s. I can identify many insecurities I have from these decisions and think "if only...".
1. My prominent false positive is financial success because I always feel inferior to people who have more money. Beauty is a close runner up for my false positive as well.
2. Challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. The Bible character I most relate to is Moses because I always doubt myself and my abilities - always second guessing if I really have what it takes.
To DEVIN --
first of all, your mama was sweet and outrageous to name you Devin - how pretty. And I checking into your blog -- you are GOREGOUS!!
Do not settle -- NO it is NOT too late -- God has your man out there, just let HIM lead. Hang in there - put God first and HE will direct your path!!
Michelle
Stephanie
California
23
Single (in a relationship)
1. My prominent false positive is social ability, as in being outgoing, likable, expressive, fun to talk to. I've always been 'the quiet one' and I wish I could just break out of my shell every now and then, at least to be more personable.
2. Challenge: LET THE HEALTHY, UTTERLY WHOLE, AND COMPLETELY SECURE PART OF US INCREASINGLY OVERTAKE OUR EARTHEN VESSELS UNTIL IT DRIVES OUR EVERY EMOTION, REACTION, AND RELATIONSHIP.
3. The example of Sarai and Hagar was most closely related to the particular insecurity I have now. As much as it embarrasses me to say, I am jealous of my man's ex-girlfriend. I feel she has all the qualities that I lack; she's social, friendly and expressive, outgoing, oh yeah... and cute. My man is still friend with her, so I fall apart inside every time they talk.
This sentence from the book hit me hard when I read it: "Nothing makes a woman battle insecurity more than feeling like she can't give her guy what he wants."
In all harsh honesty, I feel like he is settling for me. Like maybe he would rather just take a couple aspects of my character that he likes, and fuse them with his outgoing and attractive ex, to get the better 'package'.
I know I must be wrong, since he wants to marry me- not her- but I can't seem to shake the notion that if I just had her social ability and fashion sense, I wouldn't have to worry or feel competitive anymore. It's terrible feeling like I am just not enough.
Does anyone else have an opinion on whether people can truly be friends with their ex? I have only been with the man I'm with now, so it's hard for me to get perspective.
Lesley
Alabama
married
30's
My PFP would be beauty. This must come from other females around me because my husband always makes me feel beautiful. When I look at other women, I don't measure up.
Challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whol, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
I connected with the comment you made about Eve right at the beginning of the Chapter. I too am wrapped up in a towel or my robe as soon as I exit the shower. Goes back to the beauty thing...I am not comfortable in my own skin.
Lindy
Scott, LA
30's single
My Prominent False Positive deals with significance. I feel insignificant because I am still single (no husband, no kids). I have chosen to wait for the person God wants for me but it's not happening. The longer the wait, the more insecure I become. I realize that it is my choice to wait for the Lord instead of settling for just anyone but I can't understand why the Lord won't send me someone. This fuels my "insignificance"! And makes me wonder, "what's wrong with me? Am I not good enough?"
Challenge - to let Christ consume me until I see myself through His eyes.
I guess I most identify with Moses. "Why me Lord? I'm not good enough, pick someone else!"
Katie, 24, married
I had to laugh when Beth said that if she saw a book titled as such, she would look both ways and then run for the counter, because that is exactly how I felt! I have been so desperate for God to rid me of my anxieties and paranoia that I read the entire book the first night. Don't worry I will slow down and reflect now...lol. I made the mistake of reading the book in a public place and of course had a hard time covering up my snot and tears as I read...lol.
My false positive- definitely the weight issue. I definitely am under the influence believing that if I could just get my self into shape and have a tight toned body then maybe the outside of me could lie to the world about what is going on in the inside of me. I feel like maybe if my body showed how I had it all together with my diet and exercise, people might actually believe that I had it all together on the inside too. Talk about a false sense of security!
I relate to Saul because I feel like people who are more beautiful, secure, confident, etc. just expose my faults even more. I think if people are thinking how wonderful they are then they can't help but think how terrible I am.
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
I am glad that this challenge does not say "To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us INSTANTLY overtake..."
Sometimes I forget that healing is slow. I want God to wave a magic wand over me. But no matter how long it takes, God is still with me. He knows how many nights I've felt like my heart would just wither up inside of me, and He's not finished with me yet. Praise Him for that!
My first blog site! Not a better one to be involved with!God is so good!I planned to be patient and read along with the pace but as soon as I read Ch.1, I could not stop!Everyday was a new freedom! I soaked every word up like a cracker(me)in a stew bowl(Gods words)SO many different veggies and pieces of meat, it may take a while to digest but ohhh.. so worth it!Thank you for being obedient in writing my thoughts with your keyboard which allowed my eyes to see the lies I was blinded by.
Recently, God moved me far away from all I've ever known.My husband and I believe it is in part due to Gods call on my life for womens ministry.We have no idea How, When or Where but I'm so thankful he keeps pruning me along the journey.This book sure has brought on some cutting!
So, back to the beginning of the book I go again. I will feast on it until I go to Atlanta in April.
Thank you Beth, for your never ending pursuit of His face.It has made a huge difference in this girls life....
Hi Beth-I just wanted to say that not being able to find the blog that I wrote on Week 1 is cause enough for insecurity......Hope I don't sound like too big a cry baby-it was written on the day the web format was being changed over-maybe it got lost? Will read the second week and answer the questions-I'm really learning a lot about myself......not too much insecurity about whining!!!
Aly
Bossier City, LA
60's
Single
Erin
North Carolina
30's
Married
1- My prominent false positive changes as do the seasons of my life. I was a single mom for 7 years so for a long time, my false positive was having a good husband. Now that I have a fairy-tale-of-a-husband, my false positive has gone from being a home-owner, to financial stability to having good hair (really? hair??? I am not that shallow.) God has been able to grant me each and every prominent false positive that I have had recently and I think it's because He is trying to show me HE is the only positive.
I am still learning. And I am still reading...on to chapter 4 :-)
Hello Beth and all my Siesta's! Blessing to each and everyone of you.
Based on Chapter Three, what tends to be your own "Prominent False Positive"?
I would have to say that my "Prominent False Positive" is popularity would make me secure. I have this horrendous need to “fit in” somewhere. I have never been able to fit in. I have always felt like I am on the outside looking in. Pathetic isn't it? Oh well, that's why I am here. Oh, security please come quickly!!!
What is the challenge stated at the very end of Chapter Three? (I want us to see this restated in our comments hundreds of times so it breaks into our belief systems. It is critical to our journey. SO, I don't care how many times you've seen it written on this post, write it again for yourself. That's your mama talking.)
The challenge is this: “To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives away our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
Based on Chapter Four, what Biblical figure (or statement about him/her) resonated with you most and why?
Moses, because he never felt confident in his own abilities much less God's. I have been struggling with completely trusting God, and surrendering my life completely to Him. Trust has always been a big issue with me. I am however, getting better at it. Praise the Lord!
My hopes are the same as Beth's for each of us, and that is that when I read the last page of this book and close it, that I will be secure in Him!
Mischelle
46
divorced
Greater Nashville, TN (area)
still very insecure about myself and life.
South Carolina
30's
Married
My first blog site! Not a better one to be involved with!God is so good!I planned to be patient and read along with the pace but as soon as I read Ch.1, I could not stop!Everyday was a new freedom! I soaked every word up like a cracker(me)in a stew bowl(Gods words)SO many different veggies and pieces of meat, it may take a while to digest but ohhh.. so worth it!Thank you for being obedient in writing my thoughts with your keyboard which allowed my eyes to see the lies I was blinded by.
Recently, God moved me far away from all I've ever known.My husband and I believe it is in part due to Gods call on my life for womens ministry.We have no idea How, When or Where but I'm so thankful he keeps pruning me along the journey.This book sure has brought on some cutting!
So, back to the beginning of the book I go again. I will feast on it until I go to Atlanta in April.
Thank you Beth, for your never ending pursuit of His face.It has made a huge difference in this girls life....
Nikki
CA
40
Married
I am excited to be reading this book. My daughter who is a sophmore in college is reading the book with me. We both have many "issues" that need to be dealt with. May God deliver us, and help us to find our approval/acceptance in him.
Lisa X - married - 44 yrs old - Texas
Chapter 3 made me think hard about myself and believe it or not in how I make OTHERS feel. Do I make them feel uncomfortable/intimidated/insecure? Do I do this because I am the one insecure? Then I asked myself (actually while at Beth Moore in Houston last Tuesday night) why I felt like everyone was looking at how fried my hair looks or how wrinkled I'm getting or how stupid my make up looks. I didn't realize until THAT NIGHT that this is a torture I go through every single time I am seen. I think these thoughts when someone is looking into my eyes or at me in any way - and mind you this is during a conversation for goodness sakes - where else should the friend be looking if talking to me? It's WHACKO! I know it and I can't stop it. I believe the voices. It all sounds easy to control but it's not! And then I think of times I know I made someone else feel insecure. YUCK!
I did have a good thing this week! I have a fake channel purse. It's beautiful and you would never know the difference. A girl was admiring my purse and said to me how much she loved it. The 2 week ago girl (me) would have said "awe thank you" - but not this (today) girl. I said "girlfriend this is a great fake" - I even told her where to buy it. I don't want the "name brand" insecurity another day.
I am learning in this. Every sentence sounds like you have been listening to me. I pray by the end I can be around a girl with perfect, long, shiny flowing hair and not think the entire time how much my husband would think she was beautiful. It's just ridiculous as he loves ME. He often says "Lisa I didn't fall in love with your hair"
As for who I identify with most - it's SAUL! OMG I can't believ I admit this to you. In our Houston study I find him going flat out of his mind. But I've been there. I didn't throw spheres mind you - but I did think of how much I wish I was her or how much I wanted so much the recognition she got.
Still waiting on my book. My small town Walmart doesn't have it yet and Amazon said not to expect it until March 1. Yiiiikkkesss - When it finally arrives I'm gonna have to retreat to college days and pull an all nighter to catch up:) I'm sure all be feeling insecure about how I look that morning after:)
Looking forward to it!
Trudy
Brevard,NC
40's
Married w/4boys - one who is 4yrs old and we also call him our "man-cub" :) (loved the letter to Jackson!)
Mardell
Canton, GA
50's
married
I am still reading chapter 3 & 4 but wanted to share that when I heard the book was out I went to the book store walked right in say the book right in front of me, grabbed it, went straight to the counter, the cashier said, 'wow, you knew what you wanted' and I said 'yes I sure do'. I took it right back to work with me and layed it on my desk, so proud to have it, I never considered someone seeing it and thinking strange of me, I was so excited to have help, I didn't care who saw it. Thanks for this journey, thanks for following God's direction.
Theresa
50 age decade
Married
Sylacauga, Alabama
1. Job certainty would make me secure. I have twenty years service with our school system. We are hearing that our school alone will lose seven teacher units at the end of this school year.
2. Our challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. I suppose I'd have to say Eve but I really think Adam was the one with the security problem. He caved and allowed Eve to talk him into taking a bite of that ol' apple and then he blamed God for giving him that woman...Genesis 3:12.
Marilyn
61
married
my false positives are: if I had a larger family, more children, i would feel happier, and, if i had a great marriage i would be happier..............i don't dwell in these delusions much of the time b/c i KNOW better. I know that peace and joy come from walking closely with the LORD... in HIS presence is fullness of joy!
The challenge is: Don't listen to the enemy and all the lies he tries to throw our way. Spend time with the LORD, everyday, and bask in HIS love, provision, and fabulous plan for your/our future.
I think the apostle Paul's mention of the 'super apostles' resonated most with me. I don't think I'm really down on myself, but the LORD knows there can be precious little love and encouragement out there in or out of the church. It is not uncommon to feel unloved and unaccepted, even in church. Remembering, of course, it would only take one such incident to make one feel rejected on a bad day. i often worry that inattention and distraction on my part is creating the same sense of rejection in another.
I just finished the book and have a big smile on my face! I am SO excited about exploring this topic with your community online as well as my small group from church. Only two weeks in I have already experienced the power of God's grace and know it will only keep flowing as I share with fellow siestas (love that!).
I was one of those who didn't think I had much in the way of insecurities, but low and behold I was at a red light last Sunday & just burst into tears. Coming off 21 days of fasting and praying with my church, I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep up the momentum I had gained during that powerful time. I signed up for a small group using your book as its guide & knew I'd found my inspiration to stay on track. I've been divorced for almost two years & thought I would never love again, then out of no where and under the strangest of circumstances, I've fallen madly (I'm talking MADLY) in love with a man I KNOW God sent to me! He is 12 years younger and my 'old' insecurities of not measuring up to other, younger women came hurling back into my mind while reading your book. Hence the braking down in tears. I realized I had pushed that insecurity way back down somewhere, but it was still there and I needed to deal with it. I talked with the love of my life and he reassured me (as he always does) that he was madly in love with me and because we are building a relationship in Christ I should have no worries....and for the love of everything, I believed him! :)
The other thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was a moment of asking for forgiveness. I had held on to some horrible feelings toward a couple women who had hurt my family terribly over the past two years and could not find the strength to forgive them. As I sat there in tears I felt God's tender, loving hand soften my heart and tell me it was okay. I had asked God to let me know when I could forgive and I knew in that moment it was time. I will never forget what those two put my family through, but I have forgiven and am at peace knowing God knows I've asked for forgiveness as well.
Thank you Beth for a powerful and much needed book on women and their insecurities. And thank you for being so raw! That makes us love you even more (or should I say Moore? LOL!)
Yours in Christ!
Kelly
Jules
kearney, NE
40 single
1. Bubbly personality is my false positive. I don't have one and would love to be noticed because I was funny or witty or something fun.
2. Let God overcome us and make us secure in all areas of our lives.
3. Moses-I have the same insecurity about doing what God has asked me to do because I don't think I can.
Elena
St. Paul, MN
30s
Married
I know that I am full of insecurities, but having to figure out what they actually are is difficult for me. Or maybe I'm just insecure about my insecurities.
1. My prominent false positive is impression management when it comes to my children. I want them to be the best, the smartest, the best behaved because when they do that will show all that I am a good mom and that I have my life together.
But.
a) I'm an insecure mom. I am so afraid that I'm doing it all wrong.
b) Ha. My life is far from put together.
2. CHALLENGE: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship." AMEN.
3. This one is hard because I see pieces of many in me.
The Sarai/Hagar relationship and feeling threatened by other women is huge for me.
At the same time, I see so much of Saul in myself. I never think of myself as good enough. I am self deprecating and I have a very difficult time accepting compliments. I have an even harder time believing said compliments.
Danielle
Greenville, SC
20's
Married
1. I feel as though I have an entire page of prominent false positives! But my most prominent is: "If only I had a close knit group of girlfriends, I'd be secure". I do have friends but not the kind of friendships that I long for. Friends that I can be absolutely real with and vice versa. Another prominent false positive of mine is financial security & material possessions - "If I only had money to buy those clothes, shoes, etc. I'd feel better about myself" Just like the majority of women I want to be cute - I want to look attractive.
2. The Challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. I relate most to Moses. So many times I've found myself not doing something God was leading me to do because I was scared - insecure.
This book is so good for me. It almost brings me to tears when I realize how much I need it. It's easier to admit insecurity when so many others are too. Thanks for opening that up for me.
1) The biggest issue lately is my friendship insecurities (but hovering always below the surface is the weight issue, money, wanting love and attention from spouse).
2) I wrote this down again in my journal, so I won't take up precious blog space with it again. :)
3) Leah...not competing over a man, but feeling threatened by another woman in my life. There is some despising, envy, some admiration all wrapped up in that situation. If it didn't feel like she was smug and gloating, it may not push my buttons so much. But it's painful to be around her lately because I have felt the rejection of friends in the past and she has a lot of friends and is "popular" at church. This was hard, so I going to anonymous this time. :) Love and hugs!
30's
Married
My most prominent false positive - A great man would make me secure
Financial success would make me secure
Popularity would make me secure
Beauty would definately make me secure
Prestige would make me secure, of course if i was financially successful than i would be prestigest. So there you have it, I'm really insecure because i have none of the above.
When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. Now my friends, how do we do this?
Anne, 30s, single
1. I think my false positive must be the right kind of job. I've been in grad school for what feels like forever, and I keep thinking that if I could just land the type of job I'm shooting for, I could be financially secure, and I could put other areas of my life right as well.
2. To let God's truth eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have.
3. If I may proffer a biblical figure from the NT, I find myself often echoing the prodigal son's big brother. Yes, I know he's practically the villain of the story, but do you ever wonder what his problem really is? Does he feel like a loser because he's the family drudge and his brother has gotten away with everything but murder? What has he missed? (I know. A lot of heartache.) Does his father just not love him as much? He's selfish, as well as sanctimonious, but I'm afraid I often echo his complaints that life with Father is all work and no party.
Wow... You women are amazing. I am very, very encouraged.
My mother, the most beautiful woman I know, is doing this study. My sister as well, God how you have grown her.
I'm not reading the book, though I think I should, but I ask your permission to read your comments on these posts to find enouragement in dealing with a separation from my ex-girlfriend -- the one I want to marry and give my whole life to.
She is a young believer, very guarded, very hurt from the past (which I know not much about). And she recently broke up with me, leaving me confused. . I'm deeply in love with her, and I've never used those words. My gut tells me our situation has a lot to do with her insecurities and fear of committment.
I pray she can find hope in our Heavenly Father through this book. He is the only one that can sustain and love and break down her walls. I want that more than to have her back.
I'm praying for you all!
Your Brother in Christ,
24, single and in love.
Louisiana
(I don't think he reads the posts so I think I'm okay)
This comment has been removed by the author.
When I was a teenager, I hated my nose,I wanted it smaller, when I was in my 20's-30's I wanted larger breasts, 40's smaller butt, now in my 50's I'd like to lose weight. I will say that at this stage of my life I hardly know I have a nose, could care less about the size of my breasts just give me comfortable support, and I don't see my rear-end. So now it's the weight. I'd like to say it is for health reasons and that would be partly true, but I am not happy with my weight and the way I THINK I look.
BTW, I left my cover on the book but I couldn't write in it, because I didn't want anyone to see what I would write.
Sharon
50+8
Married
Frederick, Md
I take that back...
I will not be reading these comments... I want you women to be as free as you want to discuss this book. Since you are dealing with insecurities (as we men are too) you may not want a man reading this.. Haha.
You have my word not to return. But I will read Beth's posts! They're great!
Know that I am praying though!
God Bless you and keep you!!
-Wayward Rebel
Frieda, Texas, 60's married
1. My FP is financial security alongm with search for prestige.
2. The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure part of us increaslingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.
3. I relate to Saul and Sarai. someone who wants to hide because I know I will not live up to the expectations of others.
Evie
48
Married
Cedar Crewek, TX
1. Prominent false positive - Education
A dear acquaintance (used to be my boss) was an absolutley well dresses, well poised and above all well educated older lady; whom I' ve always admired. I can dress like her and perhaps poise myself just so if I try really hard!! -- I hold high regards for people who have gotten their Masters or Ph.d.
2. My challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessel until it drives my every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Woman at the well - she did not realize that Jesus was referring to her spiritual need when He asked her for a drink and she replied ... You have nothing to draw from and He replies ... whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst.
For several years of my life I remained frozen right in that exact moment. I finally overcame and believed He had ALL I ever needed! Praise You LORD.
1) My PFP is to be a better conversationalist and to spell better! (Might have missed that big word.) Leading our ladies in the Revelation Bible study, I wrote a greek word on the board before class to emphasize the word diligent. When I went to say it for them I realized I had spelled it wrong. I can't spell in english, what in the world made me think I should try greek! LOL
2)To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me overtake my earthen vessel until it drives out every insecure thought, reaction & relationship contrary to who He says I am.
3) Of course you might guess...Moses without doubt. Slow of speech and tongue. I wonder how his spelling was?
Sandy
50'
Married
Deming, NM
Janet
Aurora, CO
40's
Married
Oh my gosh...talk about funny. I went to great lengths at my daughter's swim team practice to conceal what I was reading tonight! Never thought of taking the cover off...ha ha. Talk about insecure! But it gets better. After reading all the well spoken comments from other sisters, I never make comments on this blog because I feel like what I have to say is so insignificant in comparison. Thanks be to God for delivering me for this mess of insecurity I have lived with. Now on the the business at hand...
My most prominent false positive: If I were at a "normal" weight, ALL of my problems would be solved. I would have more friends, be a better mom, my husband would love me more, my anxiety would go away, etc. (the 50 or so pounds away from a normal weight seems like an impossibilty-so much bondage to break through)
The challenge: "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of me increasingly overtake my earthen vessle until it drives out my every emotion, reaction, and relationship"
Moses for not believing that God was going to equip him with what he needed for what God had called him to do, and also Paul "belittling and boasting in himself"
Thanks Beth for your labor of love in this book and for serving our most precious Savior humbly. May God be glorified in all these changed lives!
Hey Bethie! I saw five books in a box at the office, and mine actually came by way of UPS today. I read the chapters post haste to make the post deadline for last week. Anyway... Just a word about BOOK JACKETS. I am not insecure about my insecurity... I just through the book jacket off because the darn thing drives me nuts! :)
I didn't take off the cover but I seriously considered it, ladies! I feel your pain! Instead, I kinda bowed my head shyly when I walked in the door with a Lifeway bag FULL of books I have been meaning to read for AWHILE now! Hey, there was a sale, ok? :) Of course I cannot put down So Long, Insecurity so I will not get to the other books for another long while! But that is ok with me. :) I saw the Five Love Languages (Men's Edition) on sale for $5.00 so I thought if I gave my hubby that book, it would maybe distract him from seeing the title So Long, Insecurity! Or distract him from his eyes bulging out at the size of the book! I bet he wonders how we women can read that much. :) I do not, however, take the book in public...I am ashamed to say. But hey, let's brave it out sisters and just do it! We might see each other out reading at the dog park or something and how encouraging would that be?! It's like us all wearing the blue bracelets from Beth's "Believing God" study! What do you say??
I am also reading a book called Sexual Intimacy in Marriage - That is one that does not have a removable cover - Beth, thanks for including the book jacket! :)
Anyway, I did ask my husband openly and honestly, yet half-way laughing in case he thought I was being too self-conscious (which I was...See, you can see my insecurity right there) - "So...I have a question for you... When you see this book, is it a "turn off" that your wife is insecure or do you think, 'Hey cool - My wife is trying to learn and grow.'" Okay, so Hubby wouldn't think that much in detail but he might think something along those lines...no offense hubs. His answer surprised me...and reassured me..."I like it. I like that you read." Of course he didn't look thrilled about the Men's Edition of the Five Love Languages...For some reason that edition is a little bit longer than the original!
Megan
Oklahoma City
Almost 24 yrs. old!
Newly married - almost 2 yrs.
Lynn
40s
Married
Barksdale AFB, Louisiana
Prominent False Positive: Being skinny would make me secure. I am not finding myself terribly insecure, didn’t think once about taking off the cover, probably because I move around so much I have to throw myself into new people and new friends every two years. I read the portion about the friend who said that Beth must not have an issue with insecurity since she’s so tiny! I realized I always think this, too. I am always trying to take off the weight and realized I harbor this notion!
Challenge: He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
Biblical Figure: Definitely Eve since I’m always trying to hide my bum behind a fig leaf, e.g., long shirt or jacket.
And can I just say, I so admire all you siestas that are just pouring your hearts out with such bravery! The things you’ll admit, we’re all thinking it, but I certainly don’t have the courage to put it out there like you do. Thank you for being so honest!!!
Nicky, 38. Taipei, Taiwan. (But a Kiwi!) Married
The thing I am noticing as I turn 38 this month is that I am not liking the extras wrinkles and rounder figure that I am developing. I feel that if I could stay fitter, younger and slimmer looking I would be happier, so I think that is my most prominent false positive.
I identify most with the woman at the well. I am so sad to say that I have had several good and bad relationships that were like being married, when I wasn't, looking for someone to love and take care of me, to take the place of the parents I had that didn't do this and the father figure in my life being abusive to my brother and I in many ways. I am now married to an amazing man and would give anything for him to have been the only one in my life.
The challenge: To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we HAVE, there in His glorious reflectionwe'll also see the treasure we ARE. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
My pfp is popularity...never was popular as a kid, but wanted to be...and I still want to eat lunch at work with the "popular girls" and I'm FIFTY...so when does it stop. I can see myself in a nursing home begging a kind over-worked CNA to wheel me to the table with the cool people.
The challenge is to let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us
I guess Saul has to be my home boy when it comes to the popularity thing. I do get jealous when someone else gets the attention that I think I deserve and then I feel like a petty jerk...urgggh!
Leslie
50's
Clinton, UT
married
Lisa
40
Madison, WI
married
Ladies, I have not read ch 3 & 4 yet..and I will comment once I have, but I went to bed and felt compelled to share something deep in my heart. First of all, Beth, the word "Insecurity" was the only word I saw when I looked at the title..I ran to the counter to buy it as fast as I could. I do have to praise Jesus about something also...I am feeling insecure saying what I am going to say because of what Beth might think..ha ha...but I had never ever been on your website before..I am not good with computers and I just never looked at living proof ministries...so one day(after the book) I decided to look you up..how I found the blog site is a miracle...I would never had known about it and been reading your book by myself. Praise God He led me there AND helped me learn to blog.
But now on to whats on my heart. I recently saw a preacher on TV....her message left me sobbing. The message was about having a determined spirit. She ended with..."when are you going to stop allowing the enemy to rob you of your joy?" Yes, we all have insecurities and many of these thoughts come from within ourselves....but the enemy KNOWS exactly what these insecurities are! He reminds us of them everyday when we aren't reminding ourselves. It keeps our focus off Christ and on ourselves...For the first time, I thought..I am ANGRY. Instead of feeling hopeless and defeated...a righteous anger rose in me..and I thought..do you know what God has promised you and how beautiful you are to Him? I am tired of focusing on "what is wrong with me!" Jesus loves each and every woman doing this book and knows the deep desire we have to change. Lets talk back to the enemy...he does not deserve to have even an ounce of our joy and instead give us misery. The next time I am thinking.."Do I look fat in these pants?" I am going to answer with what Christ would say..."You are so beautiful, my beloved, on the inside..because I know your heart. It doesnt matter what your wearing." May God Bless you ladies.
Suzi
Married
28
Austin, Texas
1) I can't choose one false positive. I have 3 major,
Beauty, Popularity, Credentials would make me secure.
2)" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3)Rachel and Leah-"Nothing like thinking God doesn't like you as well as He likes someone else."
Sally
Columbus, OH
50's
Married
My biggest false positive is my insatiable desire to get my extra weight off, but that is connected to my desire to have unconditional approval from my mother (and I'm in my 50's, when does it end???).Don't know why I think this acceptance will be forthcoming, she is conditional with my thin sister too!!!Lord, I pray your truth would eclipse all of our false positives!
For the Biblical character, I guess Saul because I've been on the receiving end of a jealous person, and have watched their attitude deteriorate over the years, to complete indifference, no fun to be on either end of that one!
Prominent False Positive -- in my human form that I can achieve perfection...always striving for that goal and feeling insecure because it is not possible.
Challenge:
"To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every unhealthy emotion, reaction and relationship."
I can relate to Saul on the subject of jealousy. Another false positive is that God's blessings are finite and only allowed for a few. But reality God's blessings are limitless and there is enough for all.
Lisha
Hanging on to 40s for a few weeks
Married
Texas
Married
40's
Missouri
False Positive: Financial Security--IF only I was out of debt everything else would be great!
2.The challenge is "To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship."
3. Martha-- I want to be secure enough to sit at Jesus' feet and not scurring around trying to stay busy busy busy so everybody wont notice what a mess I really am.
Y'all are studs. You're honest and willing to be transformed and sick to death of feeling insecure. That's the combination this journey is going to require. I love you guys. God's getting to us. Let's not stop the work.
1. Prominent False Positive - CONTROL - if I could just be in control (in numerous areas) I would be secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and complete secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes open to the treasure we have there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are.
3. Saul - hiding in the baggage and being my own worst enemy.
Denise, 49
Married, Michigan
38, TN Married
Popularity would make me secure. I loath the thought of somebody not liking me. I am a people pleaser and it is part of my insecurity. THere are meny that are turned away from me for one reason or another. Many times I have prayed for a personality change to be less selfish and more focused on others.
To let te healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessles until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positiveand let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.
In some way or another I can identify with each of the Biblical figures. But Moses sticks to me most. He was called by God to do a job he thought he wasn't qualified for. Oh how I feel that everyday as a mom and woman. There are many times I lean on my self without seeking God's help (thinking like a mom...that I can do it all) only to end up feeling like a failure.
Thank you for the title, seeing the word insecurity in plain view on the front is like going face to face with an enemy. And that is the only way to battle this insecurity. I am sure I speak for all of us who are reading, thank you Beth for your insightful, Biblical words to get us through this battle with victory!!!!
1) I had originally put one false positive down last night,however, God awoke me this morning to the real false positive in my life. First, I feel compelled to say that I have wonderful Christian husband, is our marriage perfect, no, but we do have a good marriage -- & as I've heard Beth say before, "Can't good be good."
With that said, the revelation that God woke me to is that my false positive is "my life would be better (financially) if I would have married _________. (this being the one I dated prior to my husband). How foolish I am to think that but I do. That man is the ONE who has given me or caused me the most insecurity in my life. Strange & Ironic. That false positive has some truth to it in that Yes, I probably would be better off (financially) but I know full well I would not be where I am today in my walk with Christ. So with that said I wouldn't change a thing.
2. To let the healthy utterly whole and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction & relationship.
3. Moses -- once again, God spoke this revelation to me this morning, that I have been stubborn & refused to listen to him telling me to step out in faith (obviously i'm not trusting him completely). As a result, the one security that I felt and was the reason I wouldn't step out, he NOW has removed it completely -- so now I have no choice but to follow and trust him completely. Kinda scary but oh what a ride i'm on!!!
Sorry so long, but I had to tell someone. Thank you for writing this book and letting us go through it on here.
30's
married
Charlotte, 29
ATL
Married
READING!!!
I am also doing Covenant right now so i have to finish that homework before I can report on the book but I had to share something with you Beth. LOOK what I found for you! Betty Crocker Easy writers. They are cake decorating writing pens. I bought them and tried them out for you this February. It takes some patience but girl it is better the icing.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000VW6FTM/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0471753076&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1N60MWRZWGCWPFF4QKSA
Loving you gals,
Charlotte
My prominent false positive I would call"fear of rejection" but maybe it is better stated as popularity.I have an awful time dealing with the idea that someone would rather be friends with "her" than friends with "me"..It's crazy to think that everybody is going to like you-but I have this need to try and "fix it" if I think somebody doesn't like me.. And not being invited to something is devastating.. I might not even want to go-truth be told- but I sure want to be invited.
I believe that the challenge is to see myself as Christ sees me.. Who does Christ say that I am? I need to allow Him to so permeate my life that when I am experiencing insecurity my FIRST response is to lay it at His feet and ask Him to bring health and wholeness and healing in this area of my life.He alone can look inside me and see where all of this is coming from.(Sometimes I know-but sometimes it is deeper than I imagine-after all we don't know our own hearts)Jesus is the One who knows where to tinker..He knows exactly what needs to be healed..He alone is the Healer..
Moses..It is very hard for me to try something new and hard.. I might fail !! This "playing it safe" has something to do with growing up with alcoholism,but I haven't sorted that out yet.. "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies because of their own insecurities."That's a very sobering thought.. What great things have I not done for God because I was too scared to try?
Carole
60's
Married
Salina, 30's, Married, Hindman, KY
1. My Prominent False Positive is being able to conceive a child would make me happy and secure.
2. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship.
3. Without a doubt it’s Sarai. I’ve ached right along with her for the want of a baby and felt her frustration when it didn’t come (in her time). Although I’ve never entertained the idea of providing another woman to conceive a child for us, I’ve been close to the edge with many other far-fetched ideas :-)
Amber
20's
Single
My prominent false positive is and always has been my weight.
It's like I'm sitting here telling myself that if I could just lose the weight everything else in my life would be wonderful. (yeah, yeah, I know I'm rolling my eyes at me too.)
the challenge - Allowing God's truth to eclipse every false positive.
Marcia,portland,OR,50's married.
1.False positive: i have worked through almost all of them. The one I have spent the most time on is "married to the most fabulous man in the world." My husband has barely a chance of "proving" he loves me - he can never do enough.
2. Gods truth: HE HAS NO DARK SIDE:IN HIM THERE IS NO DARKNESS AT ALL.
3. Rachel and Leah resonated with me the most because of their competition for love. This opened my eyes to how much I compete for the love of not only my husband but other important people in my life. I'm the one competing - they aren't.
I'm laughing at myself as I type this because I would like to do this book study with a good friend of mine, and insecurity is stopping me from asking her...to the outside world...I am SUPER confident....bless my own heart!
Out of all the prominent false/positive examples I would have to say weight. This pains me, because this is something I feel for myself can be taken care of. I love what you wrote under the THREAT paragraph. For years I struggled with the first three fears. Fear of someone,fear of something and fear of what am I going to lose.FEAR I have found out is what puts chains on your legs. It paralyizes you, it does fuel your imagination and I had to Trust God and dive in. Its either that or go sit in a corner and suck your thumb. Thanks for this book Beth. I am pretty secure in many areas of my life, but the ones I am NOT needed to see this in print. God Bless You, Love Angel
Ginnie, 44
Single in Florida
The two most prominent false positives that stick out worse than a sore thumb are financial security and singleness. It is so hard for me to grasp that neither will satisfy. For a while I do fine without dwelling on either one and then all of a sudden it's all I can think about. How if I just had money or a man my life would be perfect. I should know better. . . being that the first marriage didn't last and I've witnessed people with money and see just how miserable they are.
The challenge stated at the very end of chapter three is beautiful: Let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us (finding more and more that the only secure part of me is Christ in me) increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship. Allowing God's truth to eclipse (I like extinguish instead of eclipse - put that false positive OUT) every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection and see the treasure we are. It is then that the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us!
The Biblical figure from Chapter 4 that resonated with you me the most was (is this any surprise?) Rachel with Sarai & Hagar right along side of her. I've done some stupid things to get that man I had my eyes on, only later to be dumped for someone else. That's where Sarai & Hagar come in. . . that green eyed monster rears it's ugly head.
Oh that I would to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
1. My Prominent False positive is that having a college degree would make me secure. I grew up in a home of verbal abuse and was constantly told that I was stupid and could only ever make it on looks. I've gotten over that, but now in my marriage my husband resents me for not having a college degree to offer more to our family financially. My lack of education haunts me.
The Challenge in Chapter 3 states,
" To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives out every emotion, reaction and relationship."
3. Ironically, as someone who went into thinking "I'm pretty secure", I see myself in pretty much all of them.
28, Married
Louisiana
my false positive is definately thinking that my life would be better/ easier if i had an education and lots of money. Not that an education isn't important, I mean if my parents had had the money to send me to fancy four year school
Candace
East TN
33yrs
Married
Ya'll, pray for me...I'm feeling pretty defeated as I am getting more into this book. I'm just seeing soooo many areas that I'm messed up! uggg!! I know God is bigger than ALL this though...just pray I can trust in HIM to change me!
1. As I read the pages with the false positives on them, I saw several that could have described me. But, I think the one I struggle with the most is Appearance/Weight. Up until having kids I never struggled with my weight. And now, struggling with depression, being on antidepressants and just having had 3 kids in 3 years, I struggle with weight all the time. But, in trying to look back at the time in my life BEFORE I struggled, even then I struggled with my appearance. I've never liked my freckles. I've never been satisfied with my hair. You get the point...so, I think this would have to be my most prominent false positive.
2. The challenge is to allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. (LOVE THIS! I think I need to print it out for display.)
3. I think the one that stood out the most to me was Saul. His feelings of insecurity caused conflicted feelings about other people. The very people he was feeling insecure because of, he admired...yet he also despised. I would not say I despise anyone, but I feel very very conflicted about people. Relationships confuse me. I never know if my feelings are messed up because of me, because of the other person or if we're all just so messed up that I can't have a normal relationship. HA!
More on my blog...
http://candacemercyisnew.blogspot.com/2010/02/so-long-insecurity-week-two.html
I also want to say that as I read through these responses, I'm praying for you, dear friends!!
Teresa
Tifton,Ga
30's
Married
My most prominent false positive is my weight/looks. I've always felt like if I LOOKED like the beautiful women I see everyday, then I could be as happy as they APPEAR to be.
Challenge:Allowing God's truth to eclipse every false positive.
I identify with Sarai and Hagar. That whole jealousy thing absolutely eats me alive. It truly is tearing me apart!!
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