Bye Bye 2009! Come On In, 2010!
Let's give praise to God, Siestas, for such faithfulness to us in 2009. Pause for a moment and glance back over the last 12 months. Most of you have had the same kind of year I've had: a mixture of joy and pain. Others of you have crawled on your hands and knees through an unrelenting season in the valley of suffering. I pray with all my heart that 2010 will be a glorious respite for those of you, our faithful sisters, who have spent the year with fears and tears.
I often think back on Exodus 33 when an overwrought Moses asked God to show him His glory. Moses didn't understand that he wouldn't have survived the kind of revelation he'd requested. Instead of giving His servant what he asked, the Lord said to him,
There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. (V.22)
The next part is so wild:
Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.
Metaphorically speaking, the same thing can happen to us. When a shadow overtakes our lives and the light dims nearly beyond recognition, we may not see a single evidence of His arrival in our crisis. Sometimes we're in such blackness, we may go weeks or months that we don't sense God right by our side or feel the presence of His abiding Spirit within us. Those are the seasons when we make the choice whether we'll go by what we see and feel, or walk by what we know to be true. These are the places we learn what it really means to walk by faith and not by sight. To sow the seed of Scripture in our tears. It's often not until the crisis begins to dissipate that we look back upon the outstretched horizon and see God's hand prints all over it. No, we do not see His face, because, as Scripture says, our mortal bodies are not equipped to bear the sight. But, in a beautiful sense, we do indeed see His "back.' As the season draws to a close, we see that He took every single step we did.
We are quick to assume that all darkness is demonic but sometimes maybe the shadow over us is the hand of God covering us while His glory passes by.
I wonder if any of you can glance back over 2009 and see the "back" of God. Maybe you didn't see His face. Maybe you weren't even positive at times He was there. But now, as you look over your shoulder at the months behind you, the fog clears and you get a glimpse of His back, leading the way to your exodus.
If you've experienced such a thing over the course of this year, share it as succinctly as you can so that your sisters can read each one. If you haven't been in a season of overshadowing difficulty, write a prayer for one of your Siestas who has. One of the most fulfilling things I see in this blog community is the way you respond to one another. Let's end 2009 and begin 2010 doing exactly that. Let's be the Body of Christ, free of our divisions, prejudices and partialities. Let's make the Spirit feel so welcome here, offering Him a place where He is free from our misconceptions.
I am honored to close this year with you and greet another. May we each be astounded by the power and abiding Presence of God in 2010. May we continue to spur one another on to love and good works. May we see His glory...or sense His hand.
You crown the year with Your good blessings, and You leave abundance in Your wake. Psalm 65:11
posted by Beth @ 6:23 PM
438 Comments
438 Comments:
Dear Beth,
Thank you for such a beautiful parallel!
I will be praying for you and all siestas this evening as we begin this New Year!
Happy New Year to all!
Love,
Laura Beth
In short, my amazingly creative, art-teacher husband of 34 years was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer's disease this year, at age 56. No family history. No explanation. No answers.
He retired from teaching in June. He no longer drives. Our children are all grown and married or engaged and do not live nearby. I feel desperately alone, often terribly frightened, and physically and mentally overwhelmed.
Yet God has shown Himself mighty and is my Rock and my Salvation.
In Him do I trust.
Thanks so much, Beth for that! There have been so many moments just over the last 4 months that I felt so alone and God wasn't there but I just had to have faith and trust Him no matter what. Never in my life have I been so down but God has worked tremendously in my life because of it! I have been in a season of uncertainty with my health and I believe it's because God wants me to just trust HIm NO MATTER WHAT. He is so good to me and I am so thankful for the valleys, because without them, I wouldn't grow closer to Him everyday. Oh, how I love Jesus!!!
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Bankruptcy. But we saw His FACE. And we felt His hand. Blessings on all my Siestas this new year!!
This year was a really hard one for me. I experienced deep loss... the loss of friendship, the death of my grandmother, and giving up my status and position as a Division I athlete to refocus and pursue God rightly.
I have known lonliness, insecurity, and unsureness like never before. But in the midst of the losses and change, Christ has powerfully increased my desire for Him. Almost to the point that I can't bring myself to put down His Word!
I've decided to pursue Biblical research rather than a career in journalism and I'm beginning to deal with areas of life I've neglected too long.
2010 is a year of HOPE and PRAISE as I follow in His steps!!!
Cait Clendenin
Whispering Pines, NC
Father I pray for all the Siestas who are in the thick of it! Give them the faith to trust in You and fill them with your joy and peace until they overflow with hope by the power of Your Holy Spirit!
For Anonymous who's husband has alzheimers, my heart breaks for you. I will be praying for because I know that although I don't know who you are, God sure does! My grandmother had alzheimers and I know the pain it causes and I can only imagine how painful it must be since it's your husband. Please know that I'll be praying for you and I pray that you feel His unconditional love and presence!
I dealt with job difficulties most of last year, but here in the last few weeks the Lord showed me why I will be working less this new year. We have brought a 16 year old young lady into our home, and I will have the pleasure of being a "stay at home mom."
He is it siestas! Happy New Year!
Much love!
The last 3 months of 2009 have been heartbreak years. My sons have made really bad choices that have broken my heart to have to sit and watch. Yet with my Bible memory God has put words on my tongue and promises in my heart to fall back on.
God,
Hindsight is always 20/20. Give us foresight that is as clear as hindsight and faith that can move mountains this year. Ground us in your word and your love. Bless this community of God fearing siestas. Hold our Siesta Mama strong. Amen
Happy New Year!! 21 days til we head to HOUSTON!!
2009 was such a challenging year. Husband out of work for 7.5 months for demonstrating integrity and not caving to demands to cover-up wrong doing. Finally, new job - huge paycut YET God provided and continues to do so every step of the way. The spiritual growth we experienced as individuals and a family has been incredible. We can't wait to see what God has in store for 2010. Beth, may you, Keith, the girls and their families have a wonderful 2010 serving our Father.
P.S. Are we doing 1st & 15th in 2010? I am doing it and would love to have the group support. The scripture memory profoundly affected me. I thought I couldn't do it but with God's power I did. The verses sustained me through this tough year and God used them to touch others. I am sad that I'll miss our celebration but I'll be lifting up you and my teammates (I think of us as the 1st & 15th Team)as y'all meet in Houston to celebrate.
2008 ended with me begging God for just one day of victory, one day of living out that mystery: Christ-in-you-the-hope-of-glory. And 2009 began with the death of my grandmother. Less than a month later the death of my husband's grandmother. Three weeks later he lost his job. Two months later mom-in-law's breast cancer moved to the brain. And then the spinal fluid. We lost her this November. My husband still has no job and no prospects.
Throughout these experiences I have been acutely aware of God's presence, His leading, and His provision. I sit with tears even now thinking about how GOOD He is, how true to His Word, how loving and faithful. I have never known such utter dependence and such sweet intimacy with God. Until now. That prayer of frustration uttered a year ago has been answered beyond my hopes. He is my life, and the life I now I live I live by FAITH in sweet sweet Jesus, who LOVES me, then, and He loves me now. Praise His name!
It has been and continues to be an exceedingly hard time in my life...but even as the sense of defeat seems to swallow me up at times I get a glimpse of Him or He sends (I know it is from Him) just what I need to rekindle hope...and I look toward that time I get that glimpse of His "back".
And I know that I know He is faithful, and I am resting on that.
My wonderful, financially sucessful spouse was diagnosed with mental illness, after a massive (and well hidden) gambling addiction wiped out everything - it came to light March 2009. This happened while I was doubting the very existence of God - I still do.
My 5 kids and I have been barely hanging on, but through it all family has made certain we have been ok. Mental illness is so hated by our society, there is nothing but desolation and blame from almost every corner. When the insurance refused to pay it was like a physical blow.
I was raised in the church, for the first time I have real grown up questions about theology and noone seems to be able to answer my questions. I started the year doing the memory verses but quit due to feeling like I was not doing it with a whole heart.
But I keep coming back here, to this blog. I love it so. All of you keeping your faith keeps me looking for the answer that will answer my questions about the existence of evil, the fact of suffering, the possibility of predestination and so many other issues.
I don't trust in a God I am not sure I believe in, but I am most grateful there are so many right here who are willing to talk about their own belief. Not knowing can be so lonely. Please don't stop talking about your belief - it helps soothe the ache I can't describe.
I am in the midst of the most difictult couple years--I see plenty of glimpses of God's faithfulness. And, boy, I can't wait until I can see His back. To be out of this place and looking backwards will be quite a thing. My unrepentent adulterous husband has wreaked the utmost havoc in our family. And now he is in jail. This isn't suppossed to happen to people I know, let alone me. And yet. Here I am. Raising three young children alone. God is abundantly faithful and good. I'm sure of that if nothing else. I just wish the heartbreak would ease. I know He must have a plan in the midst of this--I just wish I knew a bit what it was.
To anonymous who posted about your husband being diagnosed with Alzheimers--I will pray for you. Our circumstances are very, very different but I can relate to how you feel. I will lift you up siesta. You are loved. God is here holding you.
Thank you Beth, Amanda and Melissa for this ministry and blog. You have no idea how often you have ministered mightily to this lurker at just the right time. Thank you.
Rebecca
Dearest Beth,
Thank you so much for your beautiful message... In 2008 we experienced DEEP loss... the loss of my sweet 15 daughter and my daddy. Just a few hours ago I finished Stepping Up, it took me 16months but every day and every video session according to HIS time. The fog has cleared, I have seen HIS face and the journey continues with renewed faith, strength and HIS grace...
Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the LORD. May the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth bless you from Zion.
Psalm 134:3
Love and prayers to all my siestas,
Georgia
I started this year in a very dark place not knowing God and thinking he was not there for me. So much has changed. I took a chance and trusted in the Lord. It has been the greatest blessing. I was Baptised this summer. I can not wait to see Beth in Boston this Fall and I can't wait to start the new Breaking Free bible study. I think it's exactly what I need for 2010!
Lots of Love to LPM
Nancy
God was all over my 2009. He allowed my heart to be broken and then so carefully he mended it back, and then allowed it to open further to find new ways to forgive and new ways to walk in peace. He has now allowed me to find a new depth to being in love. I am so thankful for the pain that led to this peace.
Nothing could have prepared me for how I would encounter the Living God in 2009. Pain, heartache, confusion, discipline, revelation, joy, peace, freedom. There was a season I didn't sense His presence at all, then it seemed He came out of nowhere and His presence fell in fresh and powerful like never before! 2009 has been the most challenging and grace-filled year in my relationship with the Lord, and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it for anything. Praise be to God!
And by the way, I'm starting my last week of the updated edition of Breaking Free. Awed and humbled by how the Lord has spoken through His Word and through the message contained in the study...
For some unexplained reason, my liver began to bleed in August. After a medflight and 10 days in the hospital, I came home with a dependence on Oxycodone. I went through nine weeks of pain and felt tortured every day by the addiction, but I continued to go to the Esther class and do my daily study, and God filled me with enough hope and peace to survive "one day at a time." Then he healed and delivered me! I still don't understand that whole season, but I know God was with me, and that's all that really matters.
An incredibly long & painful year is ending with a doctor's admonition for me to prepare myself for the loss of my husband of 25+ years as chronic diseases take their toll on his exhausted body. At the end of all the "what ifs?" is my loving Father, covering me now and promising to cover me then. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Hebrews 13:20-21.
2009 has been one wild roller coaster in my life (in all areas, especially spiritually). I would submit that God has been refining me to do His work and just when I feel like I can't take anymore, He sends me a blessing. Oh, He is so good. I've been able to look at this past year and see Him in everything, and that is a huge blessing.
God, You are so good and I praise You for the all You have done in me and all that You are doing in me. I love you so much and I pray that You will continue to use me to draw people near to You. All for Your glory. I continue to pray -- less of me Lord, and so much more of You.
This past year I continued to give up my home and live with my widowed mother. She had a summer fighting breast cancer, is still recuperating from the skin disorders from radiation, and other problems. At 85, she is on a walker, and at 55, I often feel as old or older than she is due to the circumstances. I have participated in home studies of Esther and am currently in the middle of The Inheritance. I feel as if you wrote them both for me, especially for me. The Lord always unfolds a session just at the precise moment I need that message. Often I need the lessons I am learning for myself, and often to share with a friend who calls and needs consolation or help... I have seen God, argued with God... been mad at God, and fallen in love with God throughout all the years of my life. I pray that 2010 is the year I "do this thing" as you say... I am praising God for your good news at the hospital and for your messages and uplifting ways. I have a wonderful son and a heart full of love. Amen~
Dear Beth, I sent you a letter after the July simulcast about my struggling son - I have cried more tears over my two precious sons than I thought would ever be possible, but God is working! So thankful that He remains faithful even when I think I can't go another step! I have been on my face for my two boys begging for God to change me & to change them from the inside out for HIM! They belong to Him & I know in HIS time they will return to where they used to be with our Loving Heavenly Father - so bring on 2010 God, Bring it on! Love you!
Tonight our sisters gathered in the chapel to pray for the world as the New Year dawns. These are the words of one of the hymns we sang... it is my prayer for all of you this night, this year to come.
Healing river of the Spirit
bathe the wounds that living brings
Plunge our pain, our sin, our sadness deep beneath your sacred springs
Weary from the restless searching that has lured us from Your side we discover in Your presence peace the world cannot provide.
Well-spring of the healing Spirit stream that flows to bring release.
As we gain our selves our senses may our lives reflect Your peace.
grateful fo rht eflood that heals us may Your church enact Your grace
As we meet both friend and stranger May we see our Savior's face.
May 2010 bring us all closer to Christ! Blessings,
Sister Lynn
Clyde, MO
2009 is the year that wraps up 5 years of chronic illness in our home. My husband who was in a car accident has been suffering form debilitating back pain. It has changed our very young marriage, and our very young family has never known life without pain.
Yet, God has given me a new Hope and a new courage. He is faithful and good. He multiplies my time; he meets me on the bathroom floor and counts every tear. He delights in the long conversations we have in the car, he protects and shields. Thank you Beth for being such a role model for women around the globe. May we continue to sense and see His back.
Love, Bianca
Your post is so timely, Beth. Thank you for sharing that. It has been a very interesting year for our family, but through it all, God has been very faithful, and we can see God's hand all over it.
Praying that all of us in Siesta Land recognize God's faithfulness as we close out 2009 and welcome in 2010!
Every single time I read your blogs I am touched. Thank you, beyond words, for sharing your lives, for sharing your faith. I am "drinking from my saucer" because my cup is overflowing with God's grace, forgiveness and love. Thank you for showing those to me, for being so real. I constantly see Jesus through you. P.S. have my tickets for Aug. 28th in Richmond, Virginia already!! Yay!
Beth,
2009 was filled with suffering, pain and a lot of tears BUT I would not trade this year or the dry season God allowed for us for anything. He changed our hearts, attitudes and taught us where our security needed to be...in HIM!
We had a time where we had to walk by faith through some dark times. Times where if God didn't do something we were done for. God showed up and HE showed off in a way only God could and it was a time of laughter and joy!
When God provided a home for us, right before Thanksgiving...HE allowed us to celebrate the holidays in our own home!! I cannot praise Him enough!!!
Lastly, this very morning...early this morning His manifest presence was so sweet that I can't even describe it in words. I am excited to welcome in a new year and I just want to be able to bless others. God has tendered my heart to that after what we went through.
Siestas...DON'T GIVE UP!!! God is Faithful!!!
Love you all!
Patty
I can't even begin to tell you all of the ups and downs that I've had this past year. There was a tragic hunting accident in October in which a 15 year old lost his life. It hit my small community hard and left me feeling very angry and asking why??? I realized that God knows what he's doing even if we don't understand. Happy new year momma beth!
I agree with Rebecca who said you have no idea how often this blog ministry has delivered a much-needed word at just the right time. To be a part of this community of believers is an honor and a blessing. God, please bless Beth, Amanda, Melissa and all my fellow siestas. As we contemplate the new year before us, help us all to be trusting and to wait for you to show us your glorious presence. Praise you for your faithfulness. Amen.
I have had a year that I would not want to repeat, but just in the past several days, I have been able to see that God has been doing a deep work within me. Thanks to technology, I was sought out and reconnected with my first love. I have made some very bad decisions, and yet, in my heart, I have known God's presence all along. I have learned a great deal. I have learned that yes, Godly People Can Do Ungodly Things. I have learned alot about addiction. But, more than anything, I have learned about how much God loves me-in a way that NO human can. God truly IS the love of my life. So, with His strength, moment by moment, I am choosing Him. I believe that He has been calling me to live IN the pain of life's struggles, not doing whatever I can to avoid the pain. I am learning that His love can carry me-I don't have to do it all by myself. I can't wait for what 2010 will bring.
To my dear Siestas struggling with pain in their relationships-
Whatever the circumstances, I pray that you will feel Jesus' loving arms wrapped around you for comfort,support, strength, and direction. I know that sometimes He is all that is holding us up, but He IS so loving and so mighty to save. Lay that burden all on Him and rest a while.
God bless you sweet Sisters in Christ.
Love,
Fran
As I read the entries from my Siesta sisters, my heart breaks for all the pain, doubts and suffering.
Father, I lift them all up to You. I am so grateful for their willingness to be open about their struggles. Please let them all be aware of Your presence, of Your love and Your faithfulness even in these times of extreme trouble and heartbreak. You are our God and I prayerfully lay them all at Your feet.
Pat S.
Lago Vista, TX
I never knew it would be so painful to see my husband be laid off. We realized in June that we would have to move from our home town and move our girls from their Grandparents. My toddlers and I lived apart from my husband for 5 weeks while I tried to wrap things up in Bartlesville. I didn't realize I was mad at God until I would try and do my quiet time and find no words. I felt helpless to pray even written prayers. However, you are so right...God is with us, even when we can't sense Him. This morning God woke me up early and asked me to spend time with Him. I've never experienced such a wonderful quiet time with Him and I am so grateful. Here's to 2010!
P.S. I am so sorry for all of you who have suffered much more than me this year. Jesus be with you!
Jesus, will You reveal Yourself in mighty ways to each of us this year.
altho this year had many uphill battles, tears, and pain..i know HE led me in this way to rid me of lots of things that were keeping me from coming closer to HIM. Learning that the only thing that matters is HIM, and HE is my BFF, and my only true task is to love him with all my heart, soul mind and strength..and HE does the rest.. looking forward to this next year and what HE is doing in and around me...
I read this aloud to my familt tonight. Thank you.
I have been thinking a lot on these verses from psalm 126 5 Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.
I loved how you shared the example of the people who ate the seed instead of planting it. It really is what we do with what is dealt.
I am all by myself on this New Years Eve but I praise God that I have Him. I just don't know where I would be without Him and I can't figure out why in the world He has not dropped or abandoned me by now. His love is truly stubborn!!
This has been our toughest year ever financially, YET God has shown us His glory time and time and time and time and time and time and time again.
I wouldn't change a thing.
This year was a hard one for my family also. Much of it hit all at once in April which felt like 30 straight days of April Fools' Day with no punchline in sight. I did the Siesta Scripture memory verses with a great sense of doubt that I could take any of the promises personally. Then I was led to Ps. 16 - "For you will not abandon my soul in Sheol or let your holy one see corruption."
At first, I wanted to object that this was a Messianic prophecy and that it was not about me, but I remembered all the places in the NT where it speaks about our identification with the death and resurrection of Christ. We are not only invited, but commanded, to identify with His passion, so I can apply Ps. 16 as confidently as I can apply anything.
I know this is getting too long, but to Anonymous who is doubting God's existence - I too came to a point several years ago of doubting God's existence in a season of great pain. In the end, He gave me such an awareness of His presence that I never doubted His existence again. Re-read the story of Elijah on Mt. Carmel. God speaks AFTER the turmoil, not in it.
Love the Siestas.
Anne
This has been a "wild" year, filled with joy, fears, tears and blessings! Through it all, I felt it was God preparing me for the "birth" of new and exciting blessings in 2010! I pray that everyone reading this will have a wonderful, exciting year, drawing closer to God than ever before!
Patti, Kissimmee, FL
Wow! Yes... seeing God's "back"! That's it! I've been reflecting all day and this evening on the past 8, very adventurous, months. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May; lumpectomy in June; double mastectomy in July; chemo August-October 15th. Really, it has not been horrible at all. Reading your blog, Beth, and the Exodus 33 passage again (one of my very, very favorites), it brought to my mind this very vivid picture of me clinging to the back of God - arms tightly around His Almighty shoulders and neck as He carried me on His back (and at times drug me, like in a ballet) through the dark times and into a "plesant place" (Ps. 16:5-6).
I love Him so much! He is absolutely everything! And I can say with all sincerity that I'm bidding farewell, with bittersweet tears, to one of the BEST years of my life; a year when I came to know the "sweetness" of the Lord as never before.
Happy New Year to you, sisters! The eyes of the Lord are always on you, from the beginning of the year to the very end of the year. (Deut. 11:11-12)
xo - P
(in Big D)
We entered 2009 living off our savings account and battling a re-occurring sickness with my 6 year old son. Eventually, an emergency brain MRI was scheduled (Feb 20).
Not only did the brain MRI come out clean, but we have not had a reoccurrence since. MY SON WAS HEALED!
The peculiar thing about it all...we could FEEL the presence of God in our home that day. (My husband turned to me and said, "I feel like we are standing on holy ground.") We had never experienced that before.
Was it worth facing my worst fear in order to "see" another aspect of God?
It was so worth it.
"You are worthy LORD..." Rev 4
Happy New Years, Sweet Sisters!
Love you, Susan
Dear Father in heaven your are Holy. Thank you that we can come to you and share our hearts. After reading many of the hurts listed my heart is sad. I think of the women whose husband has mental health illness. Father thank you for being the perfect Father for her children. Father thank you that you continue to draw her to yourself with her questions and concerns.
Thank you because of Jesus my savior I can come to you with my concerns.
2009 was a year like no other:
Survived my first year of marriage (and yes,it was a matter of survival!)
New and exciting opportunities at work
Started having panic attacks out of nowhere and continue to deal with anxiety
Sat through chemo treatments with a dear family member as they battled a horrible disease
Said goodbye to that same family member this past Monday evening
God has been good though and looking back I can see His hand in all of this! Thankful for His faithfulness and provision....looking forward to a great New Year!
This has been a challenging year, but I too have seen the LORD. He has shown Himself in so many different ways this past year...church difficulties, a child in college and a child in first grade, aging parents and grandparents, medical problems, tribulations at work...and the list goes on. But, even in my darkest hour, I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and hear that "still small voice". He is so good!!
I love our siesta community and I pray God's presence over all of you tonight and throughout 2010.
I love you Beth, Amanda, Melissa, and all of you at Living Proof. Thank you for sharing so much with us. Together, I do believe we make a difference.
Much love,
Tisha
Pilot Mtn, NC
2009 has seen in our family the end to a looooong illness for my 10 year old daughter (Praise Jesus!), illness and surgery for my husband, my m.i.l moving into an assisted living home, my brother sinking farther into his pit and watching the cost of that on my parents, my church (which hubby pastors) fight a terrible battle with satan- and WIN!! Through it all God has been solidly beside me and my family. We have all drawn closer to God and each other through both the joys and the pain. I've learned to pray harder and praise louder and more often.
Looking back I see clearly where God moved mountains, straightened crooked places and made streams in the desert. I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth.
Dear Lord, I lift up my Siestas and may your loving arms surround them tonight as we put on our armour for 2010. Thank you for providing this ministry to us all. Thank you, Lord.
AMEN! GLORY!!
Dear Anonymous at 8:06 P.M.:
I was so touched by your post and your honesty about difficulty in trusting in a God you aren't sure you believe in. I am so sorry for all you've endured this year. My friend, you have been through more in 2009 than most people endure in a lifetime.
I am so sorry you are lonely, sorry for your husband's diagnosis, for your insurance denying you, for your 5 children being without their dad. Please don't ever stop coming to this blog. This is a SAFE place, a genuine community. We accept you and we don't judge you for your doubts and questions. Better yet -God knows and He can handle all your doubts and questions too. In the Old Testament book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, verse 13, He tells us that we will find Him when we seek with all our hearts.
I too was raised in the church - but it wasn't until I experienced the tragic death of my sister that I came face to face with the reality of God and eternity came clearly into focus for me. I had questions too. I wanted to know if Heaven was for real, would I see my sister again, if Jesus really loved me, and could I trust what I had been taught?
Let me tell you out of that tragedy HE FOUND ME - and He is REAL, and HE is TRUE, and He is Who He Says He Is. He Came to Me and He filled every space of that God-shaped vaccuum in my heart. And I have NEVER gotten over Him - EVER!
Again I say, please don't ever stop coming to this blog. Please keep seeking Him and He will reveal Himself to you, my friend.
"Dear Lord, I lift up to You my friend right now. I don't know her name, but You do. Oh God, heal her husband, touch his heart and his mind, heal his soul and spirit. Wrap Your loving arms around her children, meet their needs - physically and emotionally. And sweet Savior, reveal Yourself to her as she seeks You with all her heart. Soothe the ache in her heart with Your peace - the peace that passes all understanding - just like that ache she can't describe. Oh God, I am asking this on her behalf and for Your glory, and in the Name of Your Son and my Savior, Jesus Christ, in Whose Mighty Name I Petition the Throne, Amen and Amen."
I love you siestas!
2010 is almost here!
GA Jan
I pray for dear Holly who has had to file bankruptcy. My brother who has worked so hard is facing bankruptcy within the month. From the outside looking in...I see it as an opportunity for him to cry out to God and to see His face for the first time. All of that being said I too am being emptied..to the point that just tonite I realized that "I've got nothin'". I must die. surrender. Pick up my cross and follow Him.
Happy New Year Siestas!
Michelle
2009 was a rough year for us too. We dealt with job stress and changes, major financial issues, health problems in my husband, myself, and one of our children....
BUT GOD was faithful. He has seen us through every storm. We have FINALLY experienced breakthroughs in some areas in the past few months, and He will see us through whatever comes our way in 2010!
The scripture memory has meant so much to me this year. On January 17, 2009, I went into a CT scan repeating my very first verse over and over again - "He will have no fear of bad news...." (from Psalm 112:7-8). I have added many more verses and used them in many situations since then. God has shown up in every one!
Happy New Year!
Jennifer - Texarkana, AR
We lost our first born baby girl 7 years ago this Feb. My grieving hit spots of deep hurt that I didn't even know were there. God has shown Himself as my Redeemer and Counselor over the past 7 years and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I felt in my heart that through the study of Job, God told me that He would restore what was taken from me. I have not known if that was through a ministry, a future daughter in law or some other way, but as I began to get weary about having another child, He showed up as only He could. I am currently pregnant with a baby girl who has the exact same due date as the first one we lost. My faith has grown tremendously through this and I look forward to continuing to grow with Him through the good and the bad that 2010 will surely have. He is faithful and so praiseworthy!
This has been a rough year, but I've learned more about the joy and peace of God in the past year than any other year of my life so far.
I lost my cousin in September to Lou Gehrig's Disease. He and wife told me about Jesus when I was 12. He was very dear to me and he fought the good fight for 4 years, but the way he died taught me how to live for God.
This has been without a doubt one of the most difficult years of my life. I sit here alone on New Year's Eve to write that my husband of 28 years moved out of our home this past June. It was not what I wanted or what I believe is God's will for us. We are both believers, have three precious grown children, were involved in medical mission work for 8 1/2 years in Africa, and have now been separated for almost 7 months. I have been completely devastated and broken at times, yet I know that God is faithful and will carry us through. God did not orchestrate these events but I trust that He has allowed them and will use them for our good and His glory. At the age of 50, sometimes in the flesh I wonder if He can ever use me again - yet in my spirit, I know that nothing is impossible with God. I choose to stand firm this year, placing my faith and trust in Him.
I began 2009 knowing that my heart was shredded and broken beyond anything I had ever experienced. I know that God can mend me but He hasn't yet. I don't know what else to do except to stay in the Word. I am trying to hold on to hope. I know that I know that I know that He is faithful. I want to experience it and see it and know it (Him) intimately. In the meantime, I'll just have to wait. Prayers appreciated.
Lord, let Your Grace, Mercy, Love and Faithfulness be evident to all. Reassure each of our siestas that nothing in heaven or earth can seperate any of us from Your love.
"Who shall separate us us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For Your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separtae us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39
Wow, thanks for sharing that. Another reason why I love Moses (and of course, God)!
Dearest Beth, you wrote: “I pray with all my heart that 2010 will be a glorious respite for those of you, our faithful sisters, who have spent the year with fears and tears.” This is me. Thank you with all my heart for this prayer. I am aching for God to lead the way to our exodus. I already see Him all over it; but I long to see even more of Him.
Tonight I pray for each woman that is walking into a season of darkness: that Jesus will be the anchor of their soul. That when the road is too painful to bear, too desperate, too frightening, too overwhelming, God will shed enough light to give hope, enough human kindness to give strength, enough encouragement through His word to give guidance and courage for the day, or hour, or moment. And that they will know He hears each groan, keeps each tear, is attentive to each cry, and is overflowing with love and compassion and tenderness for them.
With love,
Linda
Dear Beth,
I lost my father this year to lung cancer. It was a brief battle ( 7 months) but exhausting for the whole family. The Lord provided so many blessings during that time - people for whom we have given praise. I will miss my dad, but am now coming out of the tunnel of grief and it feels so good to rest in the comfort that the Lord provides. I ache for people who do not know Him.
love,
anne
Thank you so much Beth for posting this! In a season right now of wondering is GOD just being silent. Its a difficult time but on the other hand GOD has been so good in that I know that he has not left me. My mother has MS, my father has been without a job for over a year now, my sister is in the deepest pit that she has ever been it. However, GOD is so good. HE has drawn us closer as a family and I am closer to the LORD today than a year ago. Now, I would rather go without the pain but this has brought me to my knees.
May the LORD richly bless all of my siestas! What a blessing. We are all in this thing called life.. doing the thang!
LORD I'M KEEPING MY EYES ON YOU, FOLLOWING YOU, FOLLOWING YOU MY LORD. LORD I AM KEEPING MY EYES ON YOU, FOLLOWING YOU MY LORD. I WON'T LOOK TO THE LEFT OR THE RIGHT.. MY ONLY GOAL IS KEEPING YOU IN MY SIGHT!
Happy New year!
Dear Beth,
Thank you for following the Spirit's leading. When we are in the middle of the desert or the fight or just a dry season in our lives, we tend to forget that the rest of our family may be fighting some of the same spiritual battles.
Yes this year has been extremely hard for me. I won't go into all of it. However some years have been harder and God has always proven Himself Faithful. I keep reminding myself of those previous times and keep the Faith.
Lord I pray for all my siesta's who facing the battle of discouragement with issues of health, finances, dealing with family issues of any kind and that of not knowing whether or not you exist. Lord show up and show off in all of our lives. May we soon see Your back and one day soon see Your Face.
Your Humble servant
Linda
Lord Jesus I lift up all my precious Siestas who are hurting right now... that they would be reminded of Your love!
"I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands!" (Isaiah 49:16)
I pray that we (siestas) can hold up their arms when they are weary... just like Aaron and Hur held up Moses arms when he could no longer hold them up...
I pray that God would give them comfort, strength, hope, healing and a sweet season of rest in 2010!
2009 started out fantastic until Thanksgiving. I discovered my husband was leading a double life for the past 18 months, as well as participating in inappropriate online relationships. He didn't even fight for us when I found out. He was unwilling to be broken and humble before God for our reconciliation, so our divorce is in progress. I feel so discarded. It's still so very surreal. There are no words to express my deep sadness or sorrow. But God can do immeasurably more than I can hope or imagine with my future. I cling to that promise like a lifeline. Beth, your ministry has touched my life profoundly. I only pray one day to be used by God as greatly as He guides me through this dark valley. For HIS glory, I look forward to how He will use these lessons I'm learning to help other women.
This past year my husband and I tried to get pregnant. After a year of trying we finally saw the little plus sign. And only two weeks later miscarried. It's been two weeks since then and I still feel a little lost in the dark but I look forward to when I will look up and see God's glory. Until then I pray for continued faith and trust in The One who has a perfect plan for me and my family. Thanks for your prayers and inspiration and lessons u teach Beth. His blessings be upon you in 2010.
I'm always glad to remember that in Exodus, God's presence with the Israelites was often times in the form of a cloud. Even when our lives are difficult to navigate because of whatever comes our way, I like to remember that God's still there. He's there in the day with a cloud. He's there during the darkness with a fire. He has not left us, nor will He ever! This year has been the most difficult for me in ministry (Children's/Women's) that I've experienced so far. It was HARD Siestas. There were days I wanted to throw in the towel and say "see ya later!" but God would always show me my selfishness during those times...he would even use those sweet precious little ones to remind me why I was there.
Daddy I praise You that we have made it through this year that You gave us. Though many of us have fought through the fears and the tears the year brought, I praise you that we have been enabled by You to persevere, to endure so that You may continue Your work of maturity in our lives. God I ask You to continue. May we never become so prideful that we think we can do it on our own. May we not give that foot-hold to Satan. This new year, as all years, belongs to You. It is Yours. I ask that You show us your back. We know we cannot handle all of Your glory, but we will take what You bless us with. May Your glory come in the form of answered prayers for jobs, finances, health, family, school, friends, relationships, and ministries. Remind us that whether the answer be 'yes,' 'no,' or 'wait' that Your glory can still be seen. Your presence does not leave us. Your pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night still leads and protects. Use us, use me - this year. Bless these Siesta's and our Siesta Mama as they have been such a blessing to my heart and life. I love You, Abba. Thank you for being attentive to our prayers for each other. In Your precious Son's name I pray, in the name of Jesus, Amen.
I began 2009 in a timid fresh way...sober.
I feel like it was a year of baby steps. Not knowing where to go sometimes with all I was feeling without being able to hide behind alcohol. In so many ways just learing even at the age of 41 of how to live. Just be me. Starting fresh and not hiding from the past. Just dealing with everything whether from the past or what the day brings...just one day at a time with God; sometimes me walking and sometimes crawling, and sometimes but not too often wanting to just hide. I'm so thankful for the mornings and watching the sun come up, even if it cloudy. He is faithful. Everyday is new and a chance. A new beginning.
God has been so good and kind; so incredibly kind. He's been there every step of the way, even when I can't see Him or feel Him. I know He is there. And how this year I have really come to know and believe that I am forgiven and loved.
And I cannot say enough of what a HUGE blessing this blog and the Scripture Memory has been. Just the most incredible blessing and gift.
Happy New Year Siestas!!
Much love to all in Christ Jesus,
Michelle in VT
I'm one of those crawling through this year with my nose in the dirt...face down before God asking for His help in my situation (marriage crisis).
Your Bible study, Stepping Up, was divinely sent my way when I needed it most in September.
CeCe Winans cd was divinely sent my way when I needed it most in December (It Ain't Over and Waging War).
And every time I turn around, Pastor James MacDonald is sending me a devotion as an email that was written JUST FOR ME and my need. Divine? Oh, yes ma'am.
And not too long ago, you did a video where you said...DO NOT BACK DOWN...DO NOT BACK OFF...STAY IN THE WORD, GIRLFRIEND...Divine direction, once again.
And I want to be succinct. I really do. But I have to mention our scripture memorization team. This year I've been trying so hard to memorize Psalm 145 and 134. They are all about blessing God. Over and over I've been saying these blessing verses. Well, God showed me in Job 1:11 why these verses had been so important to memorize this year. Yes, He did. And I was floored. My God is working this out for His Glory and I will praise Him all the days of my life.
Hope...that word keeps appearing like a neon sign in my life right now. Lamentations 3:19-30 (Message Bible) has been rich for me this week.
Okay, sorry it's long. But He has been so present in my situation. I really can't see His back or His face right now because I am wrapped around Him like a belt!
I love you, Beth Moore. It's not your hair style or your fashion flair. It's not even your pointy finger in my face when I need it to be there. It's Jesus in you. Thank you for letting Him minister to me through you.
Happy New Year...
It's going to be "Simply Jesus" this year for me. "Simply Jesus."
Thank you Beth for allowing us to be a part of your life in this last year. You have made us laugh, cry, wonder, think and be drawn closer to God. You are loved and prayed for. I pray that 2010 will be a blessed year for you and the Siests.
This year and the past few years have been a difficult time for me and my family. As I have heard said, you're either about to have a crisis, in the middle of a crisis, or recovering from a crisis. During these trying times I have been aching for a closeness with the Lord and for several personal reasons still felt so alone. I am so excited to say over the last couple months I have been blessed with the Believing God Bible Study and God has truly used that to allow me to see the awesome glory of His back! I have seen such a change in my family it is truly a miracle! The most awesome of these is my 6-year-old stepson who has been witnessing to his mother who is trying to teach him that God does not exist and people who believe in Him are ignorant. I am continuing to believe God along with him for her salvation! I am so excited for 2010 and starting the new year wholeheartedly pursuing the Lord! I also want to say I can't imagine some of the things you beautiful women have gone through this year and I am so encouraged that you are continuing to be faithful even in such difficult times! Praise the Lord for you and your testimonies! I love you all and you are in my prayers!
Dear Beth
Thank you again for your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I have read each blog comment and prayed for each Siesta. God has shown me "His back" again this year,(my husband has m.s.) and I am so grateful for His Faithfulness. For each struggling siesta - for the ones who have ailing husbands, financial disasters, unfaithful husbands, wayward children and the ones who are seeking to know even if God is exists....each one of us who are Believing God....may we enter 2010 with hope in our hearts, scripture in our minds and may He reveal Himself to us in ways that we have never before known!
For the dear one who is seeking to know if God is real - He promises to make Himself known to those who seek Him - you are covered by prayer now by your sisters and He will reveal Himself to you!! How He loves you!
Thank you, again, so much, for this blog that is such an encouragement to us.
Happy New Year and continued healing and blessing to you, Beth (and blessings to all your family)
Love Diane, Ontario, Canada
Lord, I pray for all my sisters on this blog who are suffering! Remember them and deliver them from their suffering. Bless them with peace that passes understanding and help them to sense your love and closeness. Heal them of anxiety and fear and give them a new mind and new thinking. Bless them with confidence. Instead of rebellion strengthen them to turn their eyes and hearts to you. While you are at it Lord, would you make all the crooked places straight in my household as well? I ask In Jesus precious name! Amen
Dear Beth and all the amazing women here,
Just this morning during my quiet time I was reminded of Psalm 34:18..."The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." I have spent the past 13 months mourning the loss of my beloved husband, who went to be with the Lord after a 4 month battle with stage IV pancreatic cancer. How do I reconcile losing my "healthy" husband? I never dreamed I'd bury my sweetheart at 48 and be all alone at a time when WE were looking forward to being alone, with our children grown and gone. I'm so very lonely for my husband...
I cannot imagine this journey without Jesus as my constant companion. So, yes...He has been my Rock, my salvation, my fortress and I have hidden my face more times than I care to remember. I honor my grief, knowing that He understands. I thank Him for the blessing I had to share my life with such a remarkable man for so many years and I look forward to the day when I will once again look into my sweetheart's eyes and be able to tell him, "I love you."
My life is in His hands...I live to glorify Him.
For all of you, struggling...you will be in my prayers tonight. God bless you.
This year has had it's highs and lows. From the joy that came when we saw the Lord (in His perfect timing) lead us to buying our first home days before we had to be moving out of our apartment--to walking with a friend who is experiencing extreme pain from finding out that her husband has been living a lie for many years now. I can see how the Lord has designed this life to be one that constantly shows us His need for Him. Something that keeps ringing in my head and heart is what Francis Chan says in his book "Crazy Love" and it is this: "The point of our lives is to point to Him." Whether we are experiencing a high or a low right now...I pray that the point of whatever we are going through will point the people around us to the LORD!
Siestas, you all are such a blessing. What a joy it was to hop on here the 1st and 15th of each month and read the truths you were memorizing for the next two weeks. May we continue to encourage one another and spur each other on towards the goal...JESUS! Much love to each of you in 2010!
Whitney N.
Nashville, TN
After leaving my dreams behind in Colorado in September, I have spoken these words consistently, "I am in such a dark place right now". At Thanksgiving I happened to get a copy of Stormie O'Martian's "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" I know He is leading me into new areas and it takes faith and courage when its' dark, but His hand is always there, He knows how to encourage us and give us the hope and light we need for the next step. If you are in a dark place, I encourage you to get this book, it has helped me to stop crying and trust in His faithfulness! He really does have a plan for each of us!
I pray that 2010 will be a year of BLESSINGS upon us all and that we will take His hand when we feel so lost. We are never alone!
I have seen God's 'back' in many situations this year, and honestly, am looking for it for a few more. I love serving Jesus and don't always understand a path He chooses, but trust Him.
This year has been one of the most difficult spiritually for me. I lost my best friend last month and am learning just how much I depended on her. I feel like God has united her with Himself and removed a crutch I was leaning on and allowing me to lean on Him instead (make sense?). He is faithful to redeem all things and all situations and as I walk through this grief I am reminded of that daily.
To those Siestas who are hurting, I am praying for you tonight! What a wonderful community He has put together here where we can all find encouragement and be pointed straight to HIM. Thank you, Beth, Amanda & Melissa.
I almost feel as if the end of 2009 went full circle from the beginning, although I am in a different place spiritually and literally.
I had to grow up a lot more in 2009 then years past. I almost can say God picked me up and said, " Go", and I feel so much like I was pushed through this year, and when I would try to stop to question He would tell me, " Just go, I got this."
And yes, He did indeed have it, its hard to believe at times here even now in Savannah, that He does indeed know where I am and what I'm going through, its hard to believe that in this whole craziness, that He is still bigger...such a reminder for the new year to come...WE HAVE A BIG GOD!
I want to praise you Lord for just being the God that you are, and for just all you've done. You are an amazing God. I pray for my siestas Father, I pray that you take each one of them and hold them close to you. I pray where there are tears that you wipe them away, where there is pain I pray you heal supernaturally, where there is chaos, I pray for peace, and where there is confusion, I pray that you make things clear. Thank you God for helping us continue to speak your very name in 2009, and help us Father go forward and show the world that you are real and alive even in 2010!!!
I love you siestas:)
Angie
Happy New Year Beth ---- just back from a downtown photo shoot and it was COLD with the wind that picked up. It seems this year has been "cold" in many respects. Ready for the warmth of a new year and new beginning.
Blessing to all the Siestas.
2009 was the most challenging year of my life I did feel like I spent the whole year in darkness. I lost my dearest friend and coworker to cancer. She suffered terribly every day.
In November, we learned that my mother-in-law has brain and bone cancer (breast cancer moved) and will be doing the exact same treatment as my friend and now my mother-in-law has pnuemonia.
Please pray for my doctor whose 16 year old daughter was killed in a car accident yesterday. It's every mother's worst nightmare. My heart bleeds for her.
I don't know what I would have done without my scripture memory verses. I have thought many times over the year that maybe I will see God's back soon but it's still pretty dark around me.
Thank you so much Beth for all that you have taught me. I wish so much that I could come to the Siesta Scripture Celebration. I will be thinking of you all. I am hoping to be able to get leave from work to go to Sarasota, FL to help my mother-in-law instead.
Ramona
Medina, Ohio
2009 has been a year of intense learning. But God has been faithful. He has been teaching me so much and healing some deeply wounded places in my heart.
I know it may seem strange, but I have been thanking God for each of the struggles he has allowed to come into my life. He has used each of them to change me.
I pray for each of you that are experiencing some major things in your lives right now. God is so faithfull. He will not waste one second of the pain in your lives
without it being for your good.
Blessings to all of you.
Laura
I started this year with hope in my heart and believing that God would keep me sober one day at a time. Praise God he did that and more. The last 6 months have been so hard because I have been walking on faith alone. I have not felt God for so long and I miss him so. But I do know that this is me showing him that I walk by faith and not by sight. I look forward to 2010 because I know that I will experience him again and again and again because I will FOREVER walk in his light. I love you sweet Jesus, more and more everyday. I love you more today than yesterday and I will love you more tomorrow than ever.
For years, I found my value in a # on a scale. My flesh still wants to rely on that for my security. I am FIGHTING hard to live in the spirit, to find my security in Christ alone. Through my battle with disordered eating, I have grown closer to the Lord. He used this to draw me to Himself. This life is hard at times. He is good.
I just have to say to " twinkle" that CeCe Winans " Waging War" is my jam:) and also that I've been praying for you:)
The upcoming adoption of three children at this time last year was so very exciting. As the year closes, I am weary and almost-but-not-quite-empty. The adoption was clearly from God, just had no idea how hard it would be on our entire family. Yet, our Lord is faithful and carries me when I think I have absolutely nothing left. So looking forward to 2010! Sweet prayers for our Siestas that have much greater struggles in comparison to my weariness. So thankful for Jesus!
It amazes me how in tune your blogs are to whats going on in my life. I'm in that place right now. I've struggled all month, but especially this week on faith. Things are bad right now, I can't see an out, I feel trapped. I know deep down God is in control, I just want to know "what's gonna happen" You've just helped me see this whole situation in a new light. I don't feel neglected or forgotten anymore but I know he's got his hand on me and covering me. Praise the Lord. thank you beth. I soo desperately needed that.
Tears and Fears sum up 2009 for me. The first 6 months because of the stress that came when my step-son moved in with us. The last 6 months wondering if I would still be married in 2010. The whole 9 years of my marriage has been a hardship for many reasons. But this year topped it off. I know this pales in comparison to many other's 2009. But when your marriage is reduced to nothing, its very scary. Thankfully we have been picking up the pieces. Please pray for us. Things are difficult and we can't absorb anything else.
But your right. I can see His presence all over this year. He was in the rainbow a few months back. He was there in the countless hours I spent on my face even though I didn't feel Him then. Thank you Lord.
Without a doubt, this has been such a bittersweet year. The LORD has saw fit to walk out every step of the way with this family. There have been some hard lessons, but they have been learned well and it was "worth while." Financially we are crippled, but PRAISE HIS Sweet name that my husband has committed his life to Christ through it all. So, as the door of 2009 closes . . . I smile and look into 2010 holding my LORD Jesus' hand - for without Him I am nothing. Just nothing. I am so thankful and grateful for His love and care. I believe I have seen His glory this year. Thank you Beth for all that you do. You have no idea - just no idea how you Shepherd this family. Happy New Year!! Love you so much, Alisa in Cheraw, Sc
I am so thankful for this blog community. 2009 has been a year of ups and down,but I can honestly say that as I look back on it all I can see God's "back". He has been guiding me throughout. I pray for those of you sweet siestas who have experienced pain and heartache. May you feel God's peace very sweetly this new year!
P.S. Beth - will you be at the Passion conference this week?
Anna - Tx
To Michelle in VT (michellemabell)
Praying you will continue to sense the freedom and victory in 2010. Lord, send a fresh dose of your love, encouragement and power to Michelle in the new year as she continues to walk in submission to you...blessings, Pam in San Diego
I began this year of 2009 with you on the blog as you were enjoying a New Year's Eve alone.....so it seems only fitting that I end the year in much the same way.
I am pondering the past year.....I began it on my knees asking God, telling God how much I desperately wanted to have a "Jesus Year". As the year comes to a close, I am left wondering......was this a Jesus Year???? It was such a MESS, if I tried to put it in words you wouldn't believe it. But, in the midst of a terribly difficult year, a year in which I thought things would be so different, I am left with this one answer, YES, I had a Jesus Year. I would NOT still be drawing breath if I did not have a JESUS year. Granted, I NEVER saw his face and I'm not sure I even glimpsed his back....yet through it all, I choose to believe HE IS WITH ME AND HE HAS NEVER LEFT ME, not for a second.
2010 is a New Beginning and I need to admit that based on the last year, I am scared to death. Yet I know he PROMISED that HE will NEVER leave me or forsake me. I am clinging to that promise as I begin this New Year.
My husband lost his job on Christmas Eve and we've already moved three times in 2009, and the enemy tempts me to dispair greatly, but I am choosing to keep my eyes on JESUS and trust him with my famalies future.Please pray that my faith would not fail me and that the God of the scriptures will turn this all around for good and for HIS glory.
We desperately NEED to see some mountains MOVE in Jesus Name this year!!
I love you Beth and thank the Lord for you. You have been a source of joy and many smiles through a very difficult year and your testimony always causes me to press on and fight the good fight of faith.
I am still believing God that somehow I will still get to see you in January......if not, know that I am with you in spirit and in truth and I am honored to sit under your teaching and to ALWAYS be encouraged by you in my faith journey with our precious Jesus!!
I love you dear sweet siesta and pray God's richest blessings on you and those you love in the coming New Year!!
SHINE JESUS SHINE~~!!!!!!!
Much Love, Angela Larson
Redmond, WA
Praying for each need posted here. One of my favorite verses is "Jesus wept." This was when He shared in the sorrow of his friends, Mary and Martha, after Lazarus was D.E.A.D.
He knew He would raise Lazarus from the D.E.A.D. He wasn't crying about Lazarus. He wept because He cared about Mary and Martha.
I pray that we would all feel Him with us, walking with us, singing over us, praying for us and clearing our paths as we follow Him. May His tears draw us closer to Him as we realize how much He loves us.
It is like the blue moon-the 2nd full moon in a month. I know it is there tonight but I can't see it for the cloud cover. At times God has been hidden but He has been there-easier to see in retrospect.
Lord, may all of us trust you in 2010 with reckless abandon.
Love to you all! Happy New Year!!
I am soooooo incredibly embarrassed to say, I was stricken with a body that just stopped wanting to function, and co-existing agoraphobia for the past 5years. I'd never even heard that word before until it happened to me. I don't tell anybody, and sadly nobody seems to care why I dropped out of life. I was once a teacher and very active, had many friends and adored my family. Then I began taking a prescription drug for sleep while working on my masters degree, and my whole world ripped apart. My body failed me big time....I wouldn't have believed it if it didn't happen to me. Had no idea a body could suffer so badly and still be alive. Had to quit my job, lost my friends, most family gave up on me...doctors can't help and have no clue. And the scariest part is I can't find God like I used to. I have been on my face ( sometimes outside at 2 in the morning, thinking if all was quiet he could hear me better...hee hee ) and begged Him to let me know He is still with me.
Nothing.
I have sustained myself with online bible studies, Christian TV messages, praise music, tithing to a church broadcast on a local channel, burying myself in my bible, reading any christian books I can get my hands on, and prayer prayer prayer....for myself as well as others.
Yet here I am, 5 years into this and still in this pit. I want out so badly I can taste it. And yes, Beth, I'm sad to say I think I've decorated this pit a little bit.
Whew! This was humbling. I have a disorder that is mocked and not taken seriously by 99.9% of the world. Yet it is very real and very embarrassing and very lonely....and humiliating. Absolutely the hardest walk I've ever had to take. Hands down. All my hardships and trials combined prior to this were a walk in the park compared to what I endure every minute of the day now with pain, overwhelming fatigue that makes me cry, and a severe fear of my body failing me in public, so I stay home all the time :(
I am totally dependent on others, and I hate it. Grateful I have some help, but would rather do it all myself like I used to.
Honestly, I feel like a freak of nature. I often wish it could have been something else more acceptable, even if the outcome was far more dire. At least I'd have folks understand me better. But right now I'm treated pretty horribly because of lack of understanding about what happened to me and why I just can't be stronger and get over it.
I am clinging to the thought I will see God's back someday soon. Oh, I know He's been with me every step of the way, but He sure is quiet this time. He is certainly not spoon feeding me anymore.
Thank you, Beth. I needed this today. It's so hard to see another year lost to this. My prayers and love go out to other siestas who are suffering....may 2010 be a glorious year for us all.
Love you all. Happy New Year.
Happy New Year Beth this posting helped me so much. Right before thanksgiving my baby sister was killed in a car crash and we have been fighting really hard to stay on the right path and not go into the darkness. I plan on staying in the light no matter what the dark throws my way! Thank you again.
Jennifer
God's timing is so perfect! Reading these posts has really opened my eyes. I'll be praying for our Siestas that are in dark places, experiencing fears and unbelief that they will continue to seek our glorious God. I've learned that we can ask "why" in every situation! And also to ask for faith.
I came to the blog tonight after going to bed, when I received a text message from our DIL that a dear friend of their family had just passed away tonight. He was only 55! He left a wife and 3 beautiful daughters. We know he's with God, but my prayer is that his family will feel God's presence, His comfort and His love. My heart is broken for this family.
For Anonymous who's husband has alzheimers you will be in my prayers this year. I can't imagine what you're going through but know that God will be with you every step of the way.
Georgia Jan, you have a gift! What a blessing you are to all of us. Thank you for that beautiful post, you said it so perfectly! We should never stop seeking Him and I feel strongly about asking questions when they arise.
This is an awesome 'Siestaville' and I'm so grateful for all of you being so open and willing to share so that those of us who struggle in our daily lives will know we're not alone.
New Years blessings to you, Beth, Amanda, Melissa and every Siesta that shares our love of Jesus!
Love & blessings,
Bobbie
God definitely sustained me this year through my health. I ended last year and started this year not feeling well. I had no endurance and wanted to do absolutely nothing. By the time I went to the Dr for my physical the end of February I was informed the following week that I had a hemoglobin of 4.7. I spent a day in the hospital the first of March receiving 4 units of blood. I ended in the hospital again in April for a D&C and in May having a hysterectomy. God kept me from having a heart attack which I am very thankful to Him for.
I feel the best part of 2009 is memorizing scripture with you Beth and all the others. The more I memorized the easier it became for me to do. My 24 verses turned into 32 by the end of the year. I am looking forward to starting 2010 doing the same thing. I can't wait for Jan 22 in Houston.
My prayers go out to all for a wonderful 2010. I keep thinking of Esther and how God turned everything around and know that He can do it again for all of us.
Happy New Year!
The Lord has established His throne in the heavens; And His sovereignty rules over all.
Psalm 103:19 NASB
Dear Beth,
Thank you for another beautiful post reminding me of God's goodness even when I feel in the dark. I am ending 2009 continuing to crawl through the ravages of chemo. My journey will last through much of 2010, but I am praising God for ending 2009 surgically cancer free!
Thank you, Siestas for your prayers and Beth for your leadership of this motley crew of siestas!
2009 turned out to be the most horrible and yet the most wonderful year of my life. In January, I found out that my husband had a pornography addiction. For 8 months, I thought he was dealing with that sin, just to find out he wasn't. We had also struggled with infertility for 4.5 year and were pursuing adoption. I was devastated and really questioned God about everything and what His plan really was through it all. However, God has led us to a few different things that are bringing healing in our lives recently. And to make it the most wonderful year ever, God not only gave us His Son for Christmas, but He sent us a son the week of Christmas through the miracle of adoption. Ladies, He really is there all the time. He sees the big picture when we can't see anything. Praise you Father!
I can't begin to put down everything that has happened in the past year. I can say with honesty and sincerity that I would rather make heaven than to live without hardship and sorrow on this earth. Our family has experienced financial devastation that has almost been my undoing but then we were hit with a death in our family, cancer, marital separation, and my best friend literally starving herself to death due to depression! Sometimes I just cry out to God for some relief. Through all this sorrow and suffering I have come to know the Lord in a deeper and more profound way than I have ever known Him. God knows exactly where I am (and where you are) and He has the divine ability and power to change my situation (and yours too). I seem to pray less when things are going good so when I pray these days I have changed my prayer. I pray that I will make heaven and if that means staying on my knees… so be it!
I love this Blog and how everyone bands together… we all have one common thread…
We love our Lord Jesus!
Hold on through it all…. Heaven will be worth it at all cost!
Love and Peace to all the siestas on this blog! I am praying that you will sense His presence through the difficult and trying times that you maybe facing!
Blessings for a new year ~
Love your siesta,
jan floyd
I read Beth's wonderful post and was ready to post my struggles this past year but was drawn to the comments instead. I've read & prayed through comment after comment and used half a box of kleenex as the tears continue to flow. I hear & feel your pain and am praying that the Lord's strong & mighty arm will surround & comfort each of you. He hears your every word and sees all your tears. He is not watching from above as we all struggle through the raging storms of life, but He is with us standing in the middle of the fiercest battles. I encourage you to hold on with all your might. So many sisters in Christ are praying over these comments and requests right now.
"The LORD your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will bring [you] quietness with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17
Changed from teaching kindergarten to 6th grade (middle school!) God spoke to my heart a few years ago & told me to get ready...I didn't know exactly what I was getting ready for immediately, but I prayed, wrote in my journal about it, cried, then last year's scripture memory...then it all fell into place. His desires became mine. Those who don't know me well, can't believe it (surely they think that kind of move has to be supernatural). Others who know me well, were supportive and knew I sought God. When I started my first day last fall, it felt like home. I knew He went before me and His presence was all around me. I knew/know I am in the right place at the right time. Yes maam, I could see His back. Bless His name!
Richelle
Oh, yes we saw the faithfulness of God this year. Our then 15 year old daughter was diagnosed with a very rare brain malformation and suffered with a migraine headache and other frightening symptoms every single day since December 25, 2008.
She did not have one pain free day until the Great Physician intervened through brain surgery on November 24, 2009. Glory to God, she is headache free and all of her other awful symptoms are completely gone.
In the darkest days of watching our precious daughter's suffering, He was there...proving Himself all sufficient every step of the way.
I have gone to the depths and to the heights with Him this year and I have fallen more in love with the Great I Am than I ever dreamed possible. I have documented Rachel's journey on my blog and I would be so pleased for you all to read it. It is His story after all. Yes, He still performs miracles today!
Thank you, Beth. Great word! Happy New Year to you and your family. God used your Scripture memory challenge to give the Word a sweet aroma I now long for. Thank u!
Blessings from Sita in TO!
So thankful to hear that there can be seasons when we can't hear Him, though I suspect it's more of my doing than His... Praying that 2010 will come together spiritually, physically and mentally so that I can have a Jesus year! Thank you, Beth, Amanda and Lis, for your humanness and candid sharing.
2008 was hard. 2009 was hard. I'm not sure who wrote these words, but they are absolutely true - Life is hard, but God is good. I'm not going to be first in line to sign up for another year like 2009, but I wouldn't trade anything I've learned or the walk of faith I've pursued. I don't know what 2010 will bring and I know of no other way to end the comment or the sentence but God.
Much love to all of you.
Covered by His Hand,
Patti Hayes
I am ready to do Breaking Free again. It has been 8 yrs. since I first attempted it. (didn't finish all of it). I know God wants to set me free so I can be a better wife and friend. My girls are almost grown. One began her life as career girl this year and the other a junior in HS. So I asked God what He needs me to do.....oops He said get FREE in ME!! stop being in denial of food being your idol and not taking care of yourself. I too know insecurity and loneliness.... You guys and the Moore family are so precious to me.
I have had a really nice year (finally) but one of my friends has really struggled. My prayer for her is that God would become really evident in her life. I know that she is having a hard time sensing him at all right now, and she cries every day. Oh but He is there! So I am keeping her and her family in my prayers and I will believe that her 2010 will completely outshine her 2009 and that when she looks back, she will see God in all that occurred. Praise You Lord Jesus...
2010 can't get here fast enough! I pray I never have another year like 2009. I found out my husband of 19 years had a girlfriend...his soul mate as he told me. I never imagined he was capable of such an evil thing. I know we all have a sin nature and he fell in a BIG way. I know he could have chosen not to go there but instead he jumped in and enjoyed the first 7 and 3/4 months with his new precious one [who he never knew he could love someone as he loved her]. It has crushed me beyond measure. I thought I'd been hurt before but never as betrayal crushes you. I couldn't breathe; still can't at times BUT God was and is in complete and total control.
Nothing I've experienced this year was a surprise to Him. He can and will make good come from the evil place satan so desired/desires to destroy our marriage. God is for our marriage. He is not for divorce. I know He provides a way out for me in this marriage due to my husband's adultery but I know God can heal and restore my marriage. My husband is in our home and the affair is over. He has gone to Every Man's Battle to get help and we attended a New Life Ministries: Every Marriage Restored. We have been in marriage counseling with our pastor since July 21st the day after I caught my husband in the affair via an e-mail that "popped up" out of no where...but I know it was God's way of preventing my husband going deeper into his sin. I have met a precious saint of God who is personally counseling me weekly. She is so dear to me. God has truly used her in my life like no one before. She sets me straight and has helped me break free from lies I've been living or believing for myself.
Through my Godly counselor's advice, I've been delivered from a spirit of fear as well as a spirit of rejection. She also led my husband in a prayer of breaking his soul tie between himself and his lover. Also, with her loving guidance I've stopped taking depression meds sometime at the beginning of November. God lead me to a book entitled Shattered Vows by Debra Laaser which helped me through this betrayal journey.
I've never in my life been through such heartache nor brokeness. I never want to go here again. I'm still a work in progress. I know I am God's workmanship (His art/masterpiece). I know who I am in Christ now. I know He is who He says He is and I am who He says I am and I'm beliving God for everything.
I know my husband and I have a long way to go but we have gone a lot deeper in these past 5 1/2 months than we ever would have without the affair. I still can't believe he did it and it's still as fresh as it happened just yesterday at times. However, I am grateful God is full of grace and mercy. I know He has carried me through the most difficult times of my life as well as the good times. I know I am inscribed in the palm of His hand and no one can ever pluck me from Him. I am amazed at what all God has done for me.
I know God has allowed all that has happened between my husband and me in order to bring growth that I'd never had gone through without this kind of betrayal. This in my mind was the worst thing my husband could have ever done to me. This was the one thing I never thought I'd manage to go through. Yet, God was in complete control and I'm not dead yet nor is my husband (hehe)!
I am grateful that I've gotten closer to God in this tragedy in my life. I'm so honored that He has allowed me to grow again in a way I'd never thought I'd go down.
Through 2009 God has confirmed again and again that He loves me and is good--no matter what the circumstances. The circumstances just make me want to know Him more, to be conformed to His image, to be aware of what the Father is doing so that I may repeat those works on earth. The clearest illustration of this is the bewilderment I felt after my dear friend died 4 months after being diagnosed with colon/liver cancer. I had so much faith for her healing and expected her to rise up in the casket at the funeral! But, that is not the case, and I have much to learn, and look forward to the journey of learning.
It was a year of wonderful highs and overwhelming lows. In this next year I believe I may be seeing the back of God as he has passed before me. My younger sister, not yet 50 has been diagnosed with a malignant cancer and is likely not to make it through the year. Of course, we are sad, but on the other side of that sorrow I fully expect to see the back of His Glory, while my sweet little sister will see Him face to face. The final destination will be so worth the journey.
So many of these women on this blog are loved by me. I know that some who have posted as anonymous are probably siestas I know. Father, You know the hurt, the pain and the heart of each woman. For Your Glory, I pray that each woman here, will KNOW that you have upheld them and kept them from utter destruction, even in the midst of circumstances that threaten to destroy them pysically, emotionally and spiritually. Let us each see in this new year that Your grace is sufficient for us, for Your power is made perfect in our weakness.
Melana
Sheridan Wyoming
God's girl 68, I'm hoping you all will still do the Scripture Memory as well! I am a semi-new reader of this blog but have been doing scripture memory since Dec 1 on my own, but I would love the support too!
=),
Sari
I was struck by the thought that I am too quick to think darkness is demonic - oh I know I have been dealing with some of that this past year, but if I think about it, I believe there were times that I was in the dark because HIS hand was on me. And as He led me, He was changing the desires of my heart, to match the heart of my desire. I wrote today that I feel this New Years that honestly, I am not starting something now b/c it is New years - I am continuing in the light and joy of having my feet firmly planted on the rock. I didn't know where I was going a lot of this year - but I NOW know my shepard so much more!
Thank You Beth and gang - U ROCK!
Beth,
Praying for continued healing thru this next few weeks espec for your body to prepare for passion. I have a few girls i mentored headed that way and they can't wait to hear from ya.
It has been a year of backs, it was more so noted this am in my quiet time that alot of my verses for memory were about Light and fighting and boy did i ever. At times i really feel the enemy come and snatch up the rug only to smell the fragrance of the knowledge of Him :) and to repeat the words of Micah 7:8 - DO NOT Gloat over me my enemy, though i have fallen , I WILL RISE. though i sit in darkness the LORD WILL be my Light!!! Thank you Beth and all those wonderful Siestas who have been prayer warriors, to be meeting y'all face to face in Jan, i can HARDLY WAIT!!!! This years traditions are diffrent, and set apart, He is doing something New and I want to be in on it too...
God Bless !!
Holly in SC
2009 has been a year full of pain, heartache, joy, and tears as I've been forced to deal with a past that I want nothing more than to forget!
Hopefully 2010 will be the year where I LET my pain lead me straight back into the arms of the God I so desperately want to trust again.
At age 37 I had been dealing with Lupus, Fibromyaligia, Chronic Fatigue, Epstiene Bar, Hypoglycemia and Hypertension for several years.
In March my health had declined to a point that I had to close down my financial planning firm.
Then in July I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. I spent the summer and fall in a hospital bed and underwent the scans & treatment. My health is starting to return but I still have to use the wheelchair for any shopping I do or going out because I can't do much walking or standing.
In October my husband was injured in a gun accident during a men's fellowship event and was just today released from the doctor to return to work.
God has shown his faithfulness many times and although I'm praying for relief and just a break for a little while, God once again has shown me tonight through the other Siesta events that my problems are not that big of a deal,they could always be worse.
For the many of you that have listed finances, bankruptices, issues with sons/children and health (including the wife with the husband with alzheimer's) I will be praying for each of you. There are some I'm not familiar with but since I'm the oldest of six kids and was the caregivers for my grandparents that had alzheimer's and now caregiver for my parents I know what many of you are dealing with.
Please continue leaning on each of us here and on God, He will never let you down.
Happy New Year Beth and LPM! 2009 has been one of my toughest--surgery, lots of physical pain, laid off..but so many blessings and joy thru it all. God IS enough and He IS faithful. And HE is ALL I need AMEN!
Much love to you and to all the siestas. Praying for all of us to have a merciful, healthy and blessed 2010. May we obey and follow His Word every single day in 2010 no matter what!
2009 is known around here as the year of Divorce. I personally know almost a dozen 'christian' couples who've been married 20+ years who divorced. By the Hand Of God, mine survived. My miracle for 2009 was that on Dec. 31 I am still in a 20 yr. marriage and more in love w/my husband than in years past! We narrowly escaped because HE bound us together thru the storm. I tried to leave a couple of times, and HE kept bringing me back home. Then, He changed ME, yes, my heart (not my husbands like I had prayed & prayed :) To all you wives who are discouraged, DO NOT BACK DOWN, DO NOT BACK UP, KEEP CLAIMING HIS WORD over your life and marriage. HE is faithful.
Jesus,
I pray for peace and comfort for our siestas. Heal the sick Lord! Thank you for giving us a place to come to and know that you are real, you created us and love us unconditionally. Your grace is sufficient. Reveal yourself to those who are uncertain. Open their eyes, heart and minds.
In your precious name I pray, Amen
Angela
Mansfield TX
Rebecca, Elaine and Lisa, your posts touched my heart. Though your situations are different, I have pretty much walked your paths. I pray that God will overwhelm you with His love - that like me, you will be drenched in His blessings. You can and will live through this, girls. If I did, anyone can. It is horrible, humiliating, painful...and it is survivable. Thrivable. (That is SO not a word, but do you know what I mean?) You are loved and prayed for by one who knows your pain firsthand.
Beth and daughters, thank you so very, very much for expending your precious energies here. How we love and treasure your fellowship!
Hope never fails - has been my main stay. After pastoring for 15+ years my husband and I had to resign from our last pastorate - it was devastating - although we acted in obedience the silence of God has been deafening and I have walked with my husband through a deep depression BUT GOD . . . we are truly learning and understanding what it means to fellowship in His sufferings. My husband did secure work after we left the church but due to the economy has since lost his job BUT GOD . . . has proved faithful all the way. I'm glad to leave 2009 behind and desperately long for a vision of His Glory in 2010. I am thankful that God never leaves despite the silence and I am even more blessed that I have a good man to walk this path with. One highlight of 2009 was our 15th anniversary - bless the Lord all my soul and all that is within me bless His Holy Name! xxxx
My heart is breaking for all the hardships I have read about here tonight... but one thing resounds over and over... that God is there and that He is faithful. Thank You Father for your faithfulness.
I, too, am one who has had many ups and downs this year. Started 2009 so well, doing the scripture memory and the Esther study with a small group of friends... and it all fell apart. I fell into a depression and I guess in a way ran away from God. Thankfully he didn't leave me and we started putting the pieces back together just in time for the 'love of my life' to come back into my life. I convinced myself that this unsaved man was the one for me and we married in October. We are both military and live in different places. Two months into my marriage he called and told me that he couldn't do it anymore that 'this girl' was at his house (and she yelled to me in the background to confirm). He now wants a divorce before our marriage has even begun. Some how I don't know if I should pray to God to save my marriage or praise Him for saving me from my marriage. I feel more at piece when I think of moving on without my husband. I know that sounds horrible....
The one thing I am sure of is that this has brought me back to a place where I want to pursue my Lord and learn to have a right relationship with Him, first and foremost. I want to be who He wants me to be!
Father God, We praise your name for your goodness and your graciousness! We thank you that no matter what, You are there for us. Help us to rest in You! Help us to wait on You! Lord, only you know the who, what, when, why, and hows of all these situations. May we lean on You and allow You to show us Your Glory, in Your way and in Your time. Thank You Father. We love You. In the sweet name of Jesus, Amen.
Thank you Siestas! You are all such a blessing from the Father!
Rachel
Ontario, Canada
This November 20th my Mom died.. and even in that I could see the way God was moving.. there were many "coincidences" that happened, like one of her greatest fears were that one of her grandchildren would find her. My Uncle was the one that found her..the list goes on, but she died quite peacefully.. she had a massive brain stem stroke.. so it was fast..through Thanksgiving and every where we had to face God showed his mercy..
one of my greatest is that Sunday morning before she died, she had left me a voice mail that I did not delete.. so I will have that treasure!
and when i need someone and crying uncontrollably God sends some one to me..
It is such a sweet thing, and to me it is like God showing me that He is with me, and knows when I need extra encouragement!
Beth and family,
you guys mean the world to me!
2009 was definitely one of the most difficult of my life. But it was also one of tremendous growth. I look forward with great anticipation to what God will do in 2010.
My heart breaks for the women who faced financial hardship,who were deceived, whose husbands cheated,whose husbands left them, who are single moms, whose sons made bad decisions, whose hearts were shattered. I am one of you. Yes, it was a tough year. It's still tough. Something that Beth included in a study (not sure which one) has helped me so much. It's the phrase "If ______ then God." No matter what pain and heartache fill that blank, I pray we all will remember that God is still there. He is our hope; He is the answer. According to Matthew 14, when our focus is on Christ, we can do the impossible.
I praise His name! May all glory and honor be His alone. May we go confidently into 2010 knowing that He will see us through.
Loss after loss in this past year of my life. Loss of health, loss of finances, loss of security and trust in someone I love and the tremendous loss of laying my sweet daddy to rest. It seemed like everywhere I tried to set my foot down the ground was never steady but my God was. Over and over again I was reminded that I was not and never will be in control but there is One who is. And I can trust Him. I have come to a place in my walk with the Lord where I have been able to say and mean: though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. He is good and He is faithful and I thank Him once again, anew and afresh for every hard thing I've encountered and endured this year. Hard as it was, 2009 was a good year in that I have come to know my heavenly Father in a way like never before...
Thank you for this blog, once again. What stories of faithfulness...and God's faithfulness.
I have also had an extremely challenging year. In the midst of my husband's struggle with cancer; extremely challenging finances; & children needing me...I looked up at the sky during my quiet time, and asked God, "How can I possibly see your face, in the midst of all of this?"
I got a vision of the sky, covered with thick thunderclouds. The kind that dims the sun...and I felt God show me that I don't need to look up to see Him. He is all around me. And I could either focus on all of the overwhelming problems...or focus on Him, and simply trust HIm.
I could either worry about whether God had me covered, or trust HIm...and go for a swim with my kids, instead of worrying.
So I went for a swim with my kids, and did my best not to worry...
And God has been faithful. We made it through the year and are miraculously still making it financially...and my husband's cancer is in remission. Thank you JESUS! And thank you for a new year...
so much loneliness at times. not the go out and get busy with friends to cure it type, but the single mothering precious children..with broken hearts type.
i need Him more. I need Him REAL. Not words, not sentiments, not fluff, but real....heart to heart real.
May our Abba wrap His loving arms around all who hurt and dance in joy with those who rejoice. My those who hurt learn to dance once again.
Love you Beth. I give thanks for the guidance you have been for me. You rejoiced with me and that made this year a memory I will always treasure.
Dear Beth and Siesta's,
I thank God because in 2009 in the Orange County Publics School's, here in Orlando, Florida, there came a time that I did not know if I was going to have a job the following school year. And I am glad to say that God helped me every step of the way. The other school clerks where asking me why I was so calm. And I replied because God know what's best for me. And for that I thank you LORD!!!
Happy New Year and God bless you all!
Love,
Axa
1st - Thankyou Momma Beth for your faithfulness!
Thank you for stretching us, teaching us and thank you for the scripture memory challenge! His Word came alive and active in my life...Abundantly. Thank you for living out this thang!! In front of us.
Lord, we give this New Year to you. Touch every hurting heart in ways they have to say....It was God!
Rebecca, Jesus is right there with you. I know the ache, I know the confusion, I know the utter ripping going on in your heart. Jesus knows it too. Cry out to Him. Many nights I would fall prostrate from the utter anguish...He sees, He's the one holding you right now. One moment at a time...Jer. 23:29 In not my word like fire declares the Lord and like a hammer that breaks a rock into pieces? Hang on siesta with both hands! He will Amaze you! Do it Lord! Do it in all of us in 2010. Amen!
Love,
Julie
I've definitely had my ups and downs this year but am trusting that the One who formed me will cause all of my darkness to flee, in the power of His name. I pray, too, for others who suffer with depression. May God dispell all darkness, however it begins...whether it starts as a lie, or a sinful stronghold or simply the protection of sunglasses when we can't see His face. The good that the Lord has brought about is that I have a bit of a glimpse into the compassion that God has for us when we do suffer. He's changing my heart to see that even when we do suffer, he still loves us. Shoot, he suffers with us even. UNFATHOMABLE. THANK YOU, GOD, JESUS AND HOLY SPIRIT. May you dwell richly in our lives so that people see You and not us. We are sinful people who need You in our lives. Thank you for your sustaining grace making us into the people You want us to be.
Happy New Year, all!
Julie
To the siesta whose husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Oh...I'm so sorry to hear of your you and your husbands loss. I pray you will sense God like never before in your entire life. You are a courageous woman and I think God placed you "there" for a reason. He loves you so much. I also pray that you know you aren't travelling this road alone. God is there.
Oh, thank you for thinking of us this evening. Will we begin a new memory verse journal with you? My journey is now 12 years- I would never have believed I could have survived this past time period- I imagined each year was the "last" -seems when there are generations of issues to resolve the healing period can be extensive- I know many who experience our Lord's "fast forward" healing and that is a fact- I would never want to discourage anyone, my situation is one that required "time" and endurance- the dark night is real whether short or prolonged and it is a journey with Christ- he does send his best messengers, teachers and sojourners to guide and support us along the way- Thank you dearest Sister in Christ for being with us and ministering to us- You are a messenger of Christ- with great appreciation, A Siesta
2009 was a year of family health problems and personal problems, and a bout with depression. God timed my lowest point with Beth's LPL Simulcast in August. I went desperate. Every word spoken and sung seemed just for me. During Saturday's break, a complete stranger put her hands on my arms as I sat with head bowed in prayer, wanting to pray with someone but without courage to ask. I knew then God had seen me there. I came home strengthened & encouraged to cling even tighter to my Lord, my Rock, my Refuge. There were more weeks of struggle ahead--then an arthritis flare-up--but I gave my situations to God. I began experiencing real peace as I spent more time pursuing knowing and loving Him and less on trying to control my circumstances--as if I could control anything. God is so faithful. God is so loving and forgiving. He is my joy and my crown. Thank you, Father, for your blessings in 2009 and thank you for the hardships. You have disciplined me so that I would not miss out on knowing You and sharing in Your holiness. What an awesome God you are! I can't begin to imagine.
2009 has been one of the worst years our small business has ever seen. We are entering the new year with a huge load of debt that needs catching up, and a willingness to work so hard to do it. I pray my husband will be blessed in what he does, because he is feeling the burden of letting down the family.
We also said good bye Dec 14 to our beloved 10 yr old Golden Retriever. He died from cancer.
God willing, we are working out a financial arrangement to bring home a new baby pup for the end of January. Only if God arranges and provides.
I guess the insight we gain is in how our prayers change, from situation to situation.
I pray all the Siestas have a blessed new year.
Last New Years Eve I lost a mother figure, she loved the Lord with all her heart and was always there for me. When she died her dear friend stepped-up to be a friend, now we both have each other because while we never knew the other exsisted her love brought us together. I also lost another friend from church who was not ashamed of her love for Jesus.
2009 has been a year of losses both my husband and I are unemployed in a very small town. But every month God sees that we have what we need.
My husband also has been ill with a liver disease, never drank a day in his life, but it was brought on by his diabetes.
I praise God for our children's health and my daughter's safety as she works in Seoul, Korea. I thank him for giving me peace about things I don't understand.
Thank you Beth and family for sharing the ups and downs with us so we don't feel so alone.
Have a Blessed New Year everyone!
SueB
Ps 27:4 (Bible in Basic English)
One prayer have I made to the Lord, and this is my heart's desire; that I may have a place in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, looking on his glory, and getting wisdom in his Temple.
Sorry couldn't resist...I'm going to continue the meditation through this year but cutting the verses by about half.
I want to study Ps 27 Each verse per month but two the 1st and last.
Anyway Happy New Jesus Year! Can't wait for the 22nd...God willing it will be awesome!!!
I have been divorced since 2001. My husband of 24 1/2 years left me for another woman (his secretary) after a 2-year affair. God told me early on that HE WILL RESTORE MY LIFE. I'm still waiting . . .
Father, I wait for you, for only You can change this mess. Only you. You are our only hope, our only light. Reward our obedience, our trust in you. We do trust you. You are holy. We desire you, your approval. Help us think as David did. Glorifying you.
OK. I just whined on and on and finally wrote the above paragraph and deleted all the crying. See how the above paragraphs just blended? Father, help us keep our eyes off our problems and on YOU. You are bigger than all the problems we all have, combined. Combined. Thank you.
I pray for every siesta here. Every one who struggles, is hurt, needs fresh touch -- needs to see God work in their life.
Peggy
I'm in a shadow now...7 months pregnant in the hospital with swine flu (and yes, I got the vaccine months ago..doesn't always protect 100%)
I KNOW from past experience that God is here with me and allowing this trial for higher holy purpose...but not an inch of me feels that right now. If it weren't for my 'stones from the river' and the multitude of remembrances of His mighty hand of provision and deliverance I might just give up. It's been a New Year's pity party but you sprung me out of it Mama Siesta..thanks for reminding me that He is faithful.
You just can never know how your ministry, your Bible studies and now this blog have encouraged me. I pray that someday God will give you a small glimpse of all the hearts you have helped change for Him.
In 2009 I had my 2nd struggle (in my lifetime) with deep depression. The first time was several years ago, and I thought that I'd never see it again. But, alas, God took me into the wildnerness...for His purposes. He has grown me so much through this and I can now say, at the end of 2009, that I am thankful for the wilderness times. He draws me to Himself, He shows me my utter dependence on Him...and I realize, once again, how very desperate I am for Him. Sometimes it's a scary place to be, under His shadow...but I have learned that even in the darkness He is so very real. He is so very personal and tender.
Thank YOU ladies, for all that you do. Praying for you in the new year as well!
God had me walk back through the past year and 1/2...my blog started in Aug 2008. He led me through until Dec 2008 just before New Year's arrival...in the nick of time...had me catch up with my life-long best friend (going on 22 years or so)...then had me review this past year all from the view point of my blog...
I have made some blunders, things haven't always turned out like I had thought, but God was diffidently there for every step.
My resolve for this year is to listen and obey. And I pray for the chance to correct past mistakes and avoid future ones.
Lord God Almighty King, Sanctify us for Your glory, Purify us for You honor, and then use us for Your fulfillment and satisfaction, Your perfect will. Forgive and correct, but mercy please Father. I praise and worship You with Jesus authority-amen
Beth,
Oh yes! I can so see God throughout all of last year. We began last year with the tremendous fear that we might lose our home. Then, the Lord blessed my husband with a new job with great benefits.
Violence surfaced in my home this past year. I was deeply torn apart by it. Through it, though, I have truly seen the Spirit of God drop wisdom and guidence into the whole situation. I look back on just those two things alone and am amazed. Oh yes, I didn't see Him coming, but I sure knew He had been there.
Kels, Redding, CA
Not that I wish harship on anybody, but it's comforting to know I'm not alone. 2009 was a very lonely year.
A couple/few movie suggestions for you lonely and doubting seistas
Though none go with me
and
A case for: Christ, Faith, & Creation, (3 part series)
I began 2009 with things in life going really well . . . or so I thought. Little did I know what was to come. A chronic illness that I've had under control for years got out of control and I was barely hanging on to any semblance of the life I had. And then I was dealing with the loss of a very special 2-1/2 year old boy who had touched my life deeply in his short life and seeing his parents, my friends, in pain. It just felt like too much on top of watching a friend lose her husband (both in their mid-20s) just a year earlier. I honestly didn't know where God was or if He cared.
Looking back now, I see God in so much of what was going on. Growing up in church, I can give all the "right answers" to things, but so much of it stopped as nothing more than head knowledge. Then, through the Believing God study this fall (the last thing I wanted to do when God made it very clear I was supposed to join the women's Bible study group at my church to do the study), I see how God was using that to take what I knew in my head and make it soemthing I knew in my heart and something I lived.
I know God used facing the loss of people far too early in their lives and having so much of my life seem to fall apart as I battled to get things right with my own health again to change me. I can see how He was there in every tear, every yell, every cry. I wasn't sure at the time, but He was there.
Happy New Year, Moores.
My heart breaks at some of these requests and I'm so praying for them. I don't even know what to say other than HE KNOWS and HE CARES. When it seems like the light have been turned out and the stage is bare, HE IS THERE.
In case Beth does not do a SCRIPTURE MEMORY CHALLENGE for the siestas, please feel free to visit me over at The Point. I am hosting a SCRIPTURE MEMORY event called CHALLENGE 2010 and would love to have any of you participate who feel led.
God bless you all to hugely in 2010.
There were a few times the thought of suicide came into my mind. I just "wished" I could die in my sleep-never to wake up again. I had no joy, seemed I had no true friends, family was fighting more than ever. I have 4 beautiful children and a wonderful husband, a wonderful church family-it's in those darkest moments God spoke to me and the words "patient" were evidenced to keep having faith, don't give up, look at Him and not the world. I am more happy today than I have been the entire year in 2009-It was God who was with me thru the darkness and He showed me His light!
Severe anxiety, depression, and moving to the other side of the world with my husband and two toddlers. It has surely been a "land of hills and valleys" (Deut. 11), but "the eyes of the Lord have been on it from the beginning of the year to the end of the year." He has lifted His hand and I see Him all over my life this year. He has prepared the way. And He is graciously allowing me already to minister to another sister here in Singapore with depression and anxiety. A situation happened recently that would have knocked me off my feet a year ago, but He has been my rock all year and His Word is in my heart! Praise Him!! He is too good to me, and my relationship with Him is so sweet right now. Keep hiding His Word in your heart, sisters!!
Job 1:6. Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord and Satan also came among them. (never realized Satan was allowed in heaven before but I guess that was his original home). 7) And the Lord said to Satan " From where do you come?" So Satan answered the Lord and said "From going to and fro on the earth and walking back and forth on it." 8) The LORD said to Satan "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?" read to verse 12) and the Lord said to Satan "Behold all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand on his person." So Satan went from the presence of the Lord. Fast forward through 41 chapters of empty words of comfort about his horrible suffering and read, 42:12 a)Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job MORE than his beginning;
nuff said I am hanging on, praying for latter days.
You are GOD in Heaven and Here am I on Earth so I will let my words be few. (Not so easy for me to have few words).
Welcome 2010. Big Welcome.
I had an extremely difficult fall as I started my 1st year teaching in a foreign country. I was overwhelmed, frustrated, alone, and had no motivation to be in teh classroom. I meant most evenings in tears. It is joyous to look back and see where He has brought me - to a place of contentment in the classroom and excited to be a teacher! He is so good.
Sometimes years can be so difficult that it's almost too painful to look back and write about them. Words don't do dark times justice. This is the year that I walked in God's bigness. I will be forever grateful for His strength.
Beth,
Thank you for this post, it really is a confirmation of words I spoke yesterday to my husband,not so clearly, but the same thoughts. I have had one of those years, starting back in April, a lump in my breast, it was benign, but a journey, then in October diverticulitis (thought I was dying!), followed by hives for over 5 weeks. I learned something that I hope travels from my head to my heart, no matter the outcome or the journey, God's GRACE is sufficient. The Lord gave me a word years ago, FOCUS, and during this time I feel as though he was showing me to keep my eyes on Jesus, even though there may be a storm, I need to FOCUS on him.
Praise God for journeys!
Happy New Year everyone.
After a year of illness, death, horrible hurt in relationships I KNOW God's hand was there every single bit, piece, iota, etc. I love it that HE never leaves or forsakes us, even if we feel like we are left or forsaken. He showed His hand over me throught the listening ears of dear, dear sisters in Christ and brothers who just laughed with me. He showed His hand over me through praying warriors in the body and laughter in the sisterhood...If all I ever get is a glimpse of His "back": I'll take it!!!
Dear Anonymous, wife of husband with Alzheimer's. I am praying that will experience Emmanuel-God With Us as never before. That you will be strengthened and lifted. That you will have wisdom and discernment for decisions ahead. That His peace will guard your heart and mind. That you will find rest in the shadow of His wings.
My heart goes out to Anonymous whose husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. You are in my prayers. As for me a close relative wants nothing to do with me right now. It hurts deep inside my heart. But God brought our youngest son back to church and he is involved; he has joy on his face again! Siestas may we be able to say what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 6:10 "...as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.."
Thank you for such a wonderful post. 2009 was filled with some of the darkest of night moments when my dad died. But the Lord's covering, protection and grace were all over us and overpowered teh darkness. His LIGHT shown. My dad's biggest prayer was answered. He prayed at least 1 person would be saved or rededicate their lives to Christ after hearing a salvation message preached at his funeral. Many rededicated their lives to Christ. A Jewish man told me he has been to many Christian funerals and weddings and never felt the tangible presence of God like he did at the funeral. I still pray for Ricky to be saved.
God kept me in the cleft of the Rock and He shone His light directly on me.
Siesta memory verses were such a blessing in 2009. I have my new book and my new verse for 2010.
Thank you Beth, thank you Amanda and Melissa as well as your husbands and the Living Proof staff, ya'll make a differance as you advance the Kingdom.
As I read this blog and relived 2009, I was thinking of my precious 41 yr old son who suffers with a very serious Mental Illness. It has been a very hard year, both for him and our family. I could not have made it, as a Mother, if I did not know that God was near, each step of the way and loved my Son, so much more than I ever could.
Then I read about Anonymous whose husband has been diagnosed with Mental Illness. I know the darkness and aloneness she feels..Mental Illness robs a family of life..but Please Do Not Give Up on God..He is the Author of Life..and He loves you, your children and your husband so much. I know He weeps for you and with you.
I commit this year to pray for you, that you may feel His Presence, and His leading you through this Valley of Tears.
What a beautiful reminder to me in this season. Happy New Year to Beth and all Siestas.
Such a wonderful description of how God is there even when we don't feel him. Years ago, my husband was caught in the dark grip of drug addiction, and I wasn't certain our marriage would survive. Years later, with the help of Christian counseling, our marriage is stronger, God has blessed us with a little one and a ministry to serve Him. I experienced years of tears, but by reading His Word I was able to draw closer to Him (even when it seemed the Words were not making it to my heart).
I pray for all those who are experiencing those tears now, and I pray especially for the woman who has doubts but is still seeking.
What a year it has been. When the shoe drops it will almost be better then the waiting. In the meantime, I've begun to understand what praying for others is.
"After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before." Job 42:10
I don't understand this a hundred percent, I am just going to do it because I believe this is what He is telling me to do in this season.
Father, in the name of Jesus we can only just begin to see some of the troubles our sisters are having. You know the detail of each siesta here and You alone know the end from the beginning. Lord God of all, I pray this place of fellowship become such a mighty place of prayer for each other that we might burn up the cables of our computers with a holy fire. Hold each siesta in Your mighty arms and remind us that while we all may never meet dirt side, we will know each other in Glory. Thank You for our siestas Lord God and bless each one with a glimpse of Your glory. Amen.
10 years ago I struggled to deal with wounds of my past. This year, the death of my step-father has caused those wounds to be re-examined. However, THIS TIME, all the time I invested in His word is coming into play! THIS TIME, when I have thoughts that are so worldly, HIS TRUTH comes chasing right after it!
Siestas, hide His word in your hearts! Nothing can stand against it! You may not see the benefit for years and years but in this season of darkness, He IS with you.
Heavenly Father,
I praise you for all things. In the difficult times, and in the good times, you ARE there. Even when we as humans think we are all alone in our journey, you ARE there. You are the Creator, and you know what is best for us, again even in our human(ness) we don't see this.
Lord, Bless each person as they live life, reveal yourself to each of us throughout our walk.
Thank you Lord for drawing us close to you.
I pray for each person here, that you lift them up in the palm of your hand and heal their hearts, their minds, their souls, and their bodies.
Lord, you gave me a visual this year of Peter reaching out an holding Jesus' hand during the storm, teach us to hold Jesus's hand, even if sometimes it feels as though we can only touch his fingertips.
I pray this in your Son's Name.
Amen
LPM Staff,
2009 has been a incredbly hard year. My husband of 26 years wants a new life, without me. A daughter is living for the world. A host of problems and devastation. But God is just good. He is restoring my joy with a grandbaby from my oldest daughter and son in law. Many times I am crawling by faith with my head barely above the surface. Trusting Him with 2010.
Cindy
cindy-newmercieseachday.blogspot
Lord Jesus,
I lift up every hurting and doubting woman who has risked being honest and open here. Wrap your arms around them and give them a fresh wind of the Holy Spirit. Show yourself in a mighty way and help our unbelief. AMEN
Beth, Amanda, and Melissa,
Thank you for providing a safe, non judmental place where doubt can be expressed and honesty is encouraged.
Struggleing Siestas,
God loves you unconditionally and is near to the broken hearted. Thank you for letting us intercede on your behalf.
Love, Linda
Lord, I pray for the woman who revealed that her husband has been diagnosed with mental illness and she is plagued with doubts and unbelief. Lord, show yourself miraculous in her life. There is a reason that she reads this very blog. There is a reason you have led her here. Father spur her on to read your Word, and reveal it to her as the Truth that it is. Show her how you are there with her always, pursuing her, drawing her in, loving her... You are Salvation, oh Lord. You are everything. May she find YOU this year. Thank you for being our Gracious and Mighty God.
Amen
2009 was tough for me. My dad died a few weeks ago. I was his care taker and it got hard sometimes. And I would cry out to God and ask when I would get some relief. I never expected my dad to just die like that. I always tried to let him know I didn't mind doing whatever I had to for him. He was such a good father to me my whole life. I am thankful to God for the years we had together. I am looking forward to a good year punctuated by God's goodness. Happy New Year siestas I will be keeping you all in prayer throughtout the whole of this year. Thank you Beth for this forum where we get to encourage and pray for one another.
my heart breaks and rejoices at the same time whilst reading some of our Siestas' comments...:( Siestas please know you are in my prayers as well. This year has been momentous in SO many ways... from losing my job, to a move across the ocean that was so straining it almost ended my marriage; from my addictions that continue to raise their ugly heads and to push my nose in the dirt; from my closest friend whose 41-year-old husband (whom she married exactly one year ago) has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and is now on methadone to help him quell his pain over these last few days for him. And YET, in each of these situations.. God showed up... and we cling to Him all the harder.. including Steve, my friend's husband, who has proclaimed Jesus as his Savior. Please sisters don't give up ... am not, regardless of how many times I fall (sometimes HARD!)
Thank you for this! This IS my last year. I was a new college student, loving life and loving God, when my dad--a vibrantly healthy man--was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last September. I quit the school I loved and moved home to help care for him and watched him slowly waste away--outwardly--and yet be renewed inwardly day by day. He went to be with Jesus in July 2009, less than a year after he was diagnosed. There have been dark valleys in the past year, but I never doubted God's faithful hand in my life, and now he has used a devastating event in my life to completely TURN ME AROUND IN MY PATH and point me in another direction. Despite the fact that I will never have special, tender moments with my earthly Daddy anymore, I have seen God's faithfulness like never before in my life, and because I have now SEEN His faithfulness, His back, I can enter this year with great anticipation at what He will do. Praise God!
It would seem to me the "blue moon" that graced our skies last night (Dec 31st) was prophetic to the place we find ourselves in...'once in a blue moon'. I've recognized that we too are to be dead bodies that have no light in or of ourselves, but rather illuminate with reflected glory of the one who died to give us His light, His radiance, His power.
"The LORD God is a sun, and a shield, He will give grace and glory, no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalms 84:11
As I read all the Siestas comments, I couldn't help but cry in sorrow for the heartache, the grief, the loneliness, the abandonment, the poverty and sometimes unbelief...but always struggling, always searching for truth. What a community of faith you have founded. What a miracle of hope.
I, like many others have run to Siestaville, to the blog, to give me focus, to give me clarity and get me out of myself and back to where I need to be, "Believing God". Seeing His backside. Your post, so profound, so timely.
The course of events of 2009 have been for me: "It's been the best of times and the worst of times" all packaged up in one keen year. No wonder the year ended with the exclamation point of the blue moon! I give God all the praise and want to shout out: Because of Him I did not retreat into a nervous breakdown. My anchor held in the midst of the storm, and His promises were believed over the demand of my circumstances. I can't tell you how many times I said: "God's Word is the truth and my circumstances are a liar!"
I can truly say as so many Siestas have voiced, that the Siesta Scripture Memory Verses were a huge part of that victory. Better than medicine of any kind. The staying power of God's Word is incredible.
May I close by Praising God for Sister Lynne and her community of faith-filled sisters that so beautifully prayed for "The healing river of the Spirit" over all Siestaville. My precious cousins funeral is this Tuesday, and Sister Lynne's anointed poem will be shared with all our hurting family. They are like a balm of Gilead to our grief filled hearts.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the community of faith God has lead you to create Amanda, Beth and Melissa. We are all changed. We are all blessed and we are all grateful to the LORD. We have each other in Siestaville to call out to, to cry with, pray with and believe with. And we are better for it.
Happy New Year 2010..."Bring it on!" God and I are a majority.
Lovingly,
Pam H.
Buena Park, CA
Looking back on this year and the last several, our lives have seen extreme highs and extreme lows. God hand has certainly been there so many times because everyone in my immediate family has been face to face with death for one reason or another and survived. Life has never been especially easy as all through my life my parents struggled with money issues, etc. But we are such a close family because of it and with 2 of us 3 kids now being young grandparents ourselves I can say that we're still as involved in each others lives as we've ever been. I praise Him for all that He has done and will do, but I won't lie...I'm tired. The last 2 years I've had to bury 8 loved ones. Several of us have lost our jobs, homes, 401k's, etc. So many of my friends are hurting and wonder what will become of us? Still through it, God has been faithful. But for the past few months it's been one thing after another, physcially, for me. It could get comical, but the truth is that it's nowhere near funny anymore. I sit and think "Is this it? Is God about finished with me?" All the while sensing that there is something more that I need to do. I'm spent. I so long to do what God has put me on this planet to do, but at the same time am tired of waking up every morning to a new issue. Will ever stop? Please pray for me.
2009 was a difficult year. Loss of a friendship, my mom's cancer came back and she died at end of September. Good and wonderful thing, my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary, and the first time ever went away for 5 days. We didn't even have honeymoon.
I approached last night as 2009 was ending, asking God to guide me in 2010, and help me hear him more and hunger to seek him.
Stacyts
Where to begin. It's been a roller coaster with health and teens. I have to say seeing God's provision for my son and HIs love for him has been the biggest blessing. He was smoking a lot of pot and God always showed me if I was suspicious. He went off to college this year and had his room searched by campus police. They found nothing - by the grace of God - not b/c he was so innocent - but b/c God had a different plan for him. It took that spiral downward to get him to wake up and see God's hand in his life and how destructive his "habit" had become. God protected him from being tossed out of school b/c of drugs and he's been clean ever since. I know we have a battle still but please pray for him, for conviction from the Holy Spirit and strength to beat this demon. See you all in January, I'm so excited to worship and pray with you.
It was an incredibly difficult year for me. My husband left me and I was inable to find work. My scripture memory was a godsend - too many times to count - my scriptures were a salve to me. I've sown seeds with too many tears to count - but of course my God has them all in His loving hands. the new year starts with me still being unemployed but with a great peace that I am where I am supposed to be that God is in control, that His plan is good and that somehow - to His glory, it will all work out. It was the most difficult year of my life and at the same time, I grew so much closer to the Lord.
2009 has found my sweet and precious Mother-in-law deteriorate to the point of leaving the comfort her home of 50 plus years into the Nursing Home. And that I finally have answers on my own health situation. In the midst of all of that, God has been so faithful. All are "do-able", and His peace has been with my husband and I every step of the way. As well as my husband's two biopsies coming back benign. PTL!
Beautiful Beth,
Thank you for the challenge of memorizing or meditating on scripture in 2009. I only committed to mediating because I didn't believe I could memorize. As I meditated on my very first scripture last January 1 (1 Cor 6:19-20) I discovered within a few days that I had it memorized. Then I began to not only meditate but also memorize. These scriptures have been the healing Balm of Gilead when the difficult days appeared. When the hard days came I focused on my scripture memory cards.
In October 2009 God did a miracle for me. This taught me to strive to become be more obedient to Him.
December 2009 has been a time I have never experienced where I was unable to do many activities that were normal for me. God began preparing me for this current learning experience as I studied The Inheritance and more 2009 opportunities built upon that study which continued with Me Myself and Lies also Revelation Here and Now...There and Then. Little did I know what began building in me in January would be so significant for me come December. I am learning to praise Him in ways I never knew I would be able to.
As 2010 begins I desire to be more obedient to my Heavenly Father knowing that God is Sovereign. God is Good. God is Faithful. Praise His Holy Name! I am learning to Praise Him no matter what.
Happy New Year!
Sylvia V.
2009 has been a very difficult year. My husband has been on disability for a work related back injury for the last 5 years. In the last 7 months he has been hospitalized 4 times and in a nursing home twice. He has spent a total of 3 of the last 7 months in one or the other. In addition to his chronic back problems he also has a blood disorder which makes him prone to clotting. His most recent stay which should have been an overnight for gallbladder surgery turned into a 12 day stay with 6 of those days in the ICU, followed by 17 days in the nursing home. But God is faithful, due to unforseen circumstances with her visa He brought my mom home earlier than she planned from serving as a missionary in Nigeria. She expected to be home just a few weeks, that was 6 months ago, I believe God has kept her here to be an encouragement to me. With trying to work, take care of my family and my home there have been times I just wanted to give up. But at those low times He has given her a word for me to let me know that He knows what I'm feeling and that He is in control. I know that He will bring me through this and that I will be a better person because of it. 2010 brings a CAT scan for my husband on Monday due to some spots that showed on a recent chest xray. This situation is in God's capable hands and I will continue to trust in Him.
Bless you, Beth, and bless ALL your Siestas! 2009 was definitely a year of great blessing and happiness and also a year of great tragedy, sadness, and fear. Only by Your hand, Heavenly Father, could we have made it through. Please, Lord, help us all to treasure the blessings You gave in the last decade and use all our experiences to feel Your almightly Presence and draw closer and closer to You. Please bless us all in 2010; bless these Siestas and bless them on their individual journeys and in each of their situations, please Lord Father. Please also bless Beth, dear Father. She is such an amazing woman of faith and such an enormous blessing to me. Please bless her with good health and healing, bless her schedule and work, bless her writing and teaching, and bless her and her family too. Thank You, Lord, that You are always present, that You always give us strength, and that You are our Father God and we can always come to You. Bless us in 2010, please Father. Bless us and may it be a year where each of us gives more glory to You than ever before!!! In Jesus' holy, awesome, and glorious name I pray. Amen.
Dear Beth,
Thank you, Amanda and Melissa for this wonderful blog where we can all receive much encouragement. Six and a half years ago I walked into a hurricane force trial suddenly. Since that night, I have gone through two more monumental trials. Each one has been very different, but the next would begin before the other was wrapped up. I have been a believer for 33 years and have loved Jesus and His Word with all my heart. At about year 5 I plunged deeper into despair than I have ever experienced. In all my trials before, God's presence was always so evident. It was as if He had forsaken me....although I know truth that He never had. I had never experienced such a hurt with God and that felt like the darkest place. I know that He is all that I can always count on and to feel that He is sitting back in my desperate need was hard. In all my weariness, I have always declared that I have no where to go but to Him, and regardless of what He allows, I will never turn from Him. That has kept me connected to His Word. I am praying that 2010 will be a year that this last trial is wrapped up and that I can have a time of peaceful living. I suffer from anxiety from so many things continually happening with no break. I hate fear and anxiety and a distracted mind. I pray for all siestas who are exeriencing these thing that God will bring all of us peace, calmness and trust in His faithful care. Thank each of you for praying for us!
I am a new Christian, and have been overwrought with doubt and confusion this past year. I have tried, and have given up, incorporating the truths that I did believe during those first days of faith into my constantly transforming and virtually unaccomodating life. These days, my heart has little room for faith, no room for Jesus. I am entering this new year relying solely on what I can experience, see, touch, and feel.
And so, I ask for those prayers, too: to learn to walk by faith, and not by my senses; to believe that not only is God full of glory but that He desires to pour that upon me; to know that no matter how deep and cutting my emotions are, they are and will always be fleeting; and that even the darkest thoughts I have can never, ever, change the authorship of our Salvation.
Dear Beth:
Your ministry and blog bless me so!
I pray for you and LPM daily.
I am 52 and my dh is 66,married for 26 years (3 children). We have had a horrible year with finances - worst ever. We have always been financially comfortable. I struggle minute by minute to stick to a budget. I LOVE to shop, buy convenience foods, go out to dinner. I have been stripped right down this year to the bare basics. I stick to a budget for a week or two, blow it, then get right back on again. A roller coaster ride for sure.
I am learning to can, cook from scratch, no restaurants, no big vacation in 4 years. IT IS HARD, but I know the Lord has a purpose.
I have a wonderful family, and two grandbabies. But boy, it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks!
Sincerely - Rhonda
Would you all please, please pray for a dear friend of mine? They delivered their first born baby still born on the Wed. before Christmas. There was no warning. No explaination. They are in the Military and far from family and friends. Only God can comfort them.
I just feel like I need "back up" on this. Thank You.
Health scares...God was present.
Division in my church...God is present.
2010...God will be present.
Happy New Year!
As a never-married 37-year old, I ended the year ending yet another relationship, but this one, I had so hoped, would (finally) be the one. Just a few days later, I already see God's faithfulness, and I'm praying for the strength to keep believing Him for my earthly spouse.
In His heart,
Christa
Siestas
I would ask you to pray for a sweet member of my family who is going through a huge trial. This situation is changing our whole family and we desperately need your prayers
Thank you! I had a season such as you described in 2009. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with a rare syndrome and I definitely felt the darkness and sadness. But, as I come out of that season, I can also see that God was there, whether or not I felt Him at the time. Thank you for your words!
As funding for schools change, I was to be at two different schools part of each day. I would remain at the school where I currently was, but would also pick up a second school. I had some trepidation about going to the second school; learning new faculty, new administration,etc. As it turned out, it was all God's plan!
In October, when my mom, who is across the country, suffered sudden cardiac arrest, it was this new school, under the prayerful leadership of the administration, which provided the funds needed for me to be able to be with my mom during this crucial time. The principal said as she had prayed for my situation, she felt led to help me find a way to be with my mom. Of course, this is also happening at a time when we were being furloughed from work. Needless to say, I didn't have the money needed for a flight. On a Friday morning, the principal asked me if it was okay for her to ask for donations of anyone willing to help. By that afternoon, we had enough for a flight.
I can not even begin to express how humble I felt,(and still feel) that these coworkers would contribute so I could be with my mom. Even now in relating the story, tears are streaming down my face. I was able to spend three weeks with my mom as she had surgery and then recovered at home. The timing of the money being provided, the surgery, even the first responders to my mom, have God written all over it. I can see his divine hand in all of the situation. Praise God! Praise God! I have so much to thank him for. He was with us even in the dark.
Atlanta, GA
I am currently in that shadow - thanks for the visual picture I can put in my mind and to give me some hope during this time.
"Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it? I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land." Isaiah 43:18-19
April 5,2009 we suffered a break-in and house fire that resulted in our entire home being gutted, top to bottom, to be rebuilt. This necessitated a 7-month stay with my in-laws for my family of 4. We went through discouragement, loneliness, and lots of frustration but the body of Christ was overwhelming in its support and encouragement. We received more donations than we knew what to do with and God provided, without going into debt, more than enough money to replace everything. The biggest meoment came when my husband looked at me and said, "We are not going to take the old us back into a new house". God has been faithful to strengthen our marriage and family through our very own Exodus and we were home in time for Thanksgiving. He is faithful!! I now know that better than I ever have before.
Beth, trusting you are gaining strength every day. Please continue to rest. . .Jesus would want you to rest! Thank you for that wondeful devotion on this New Year's Day. I has been in a whirlwind for the last couple of years. We moved from a home of 30 years in a growing town where we raised our 3 girls and welcomed precious new grandbabies. We loved our church that centered around the truth and Jesus. I taught a woman's SS class and facilitated every one of your bible studies there. Little went on in our life outside of that church. Now we are in a very rural town (because of my husband's job) and attend a new church. I can only go sometimes because my vibrant loving Mom had a stroke and my sister and I share her care in our homes. I have spent a great deal of time looking for God's hand here. I really do experience HIS LOVE most of the time although some days I feel like I am digging a path uphill with my elbows. This "memory verse year" saved by sanity many times. Enough already. . .God is good and I Love HIM with all my heart and pray to delight HIM more everyday as HE empowers my actions, thoughts, and heart. LOVE to you all in 2010, Suz
Oh sweet Beth! I just finished your study, A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place, so I knew right where you were going with this post! But I never get tired of hearing your perspective of our darkest time being God covering our eyes as He walks with us- and then seeing His back as the darkness lifts- having been with us all the way. I cried when I heard you teach that from the Bible study and I got that same lump in my throat when I read it just now. God bless the work of your hands and heart!
As I read all the other posts, my heart was heavy for all the challenges so many of my fellow Chrisitan sisters have endured and I reflected on the song, I believe from Mercy Me, "Bring the Rain." Each hardship expressed by these posts just reminded me to get on my knees today and go to my Father for the year of blessings He's showered on myself and my family. I praise you, my Father! And I admire the strength and determination by you ladies, who've not allowed your faith to be moved by the pains of this earth! Stay strong in the Lord.
I love that as the New Year unfolds we all have the opportunity to begin anew. It doesn't matter how many times you ask Him, He will let you start over and over and over and then wait patiently for you to reach the goal. Sometimes He helps you find your way and sometimes He lets you find it yourself. Then you look back and realize He was waiting quietly in the "shadows" making sure you didn't need Him.
This year has had struggles but within them so many lessons. I am looking forward to a closer relationship with my Lord. Letting go of all the worry of 2009. After reading how hard many of you have struggled this year, I feel blessed to be employed, healthy, have a loving intact family and a God centered church/church body to grow in.
May each of you see the wonder in the newness not only of this new decade but each and every day.
Blessing,
Mally
My daughter went through a horrific divorce after a 10 month horrific, abusive marriage. My husband lost his job in June; still unemployed. My God is faithful. He has never left me or forsaked me! Praise Him!
Happy 2010 Siestas!
Jan
Beth, praying for continued healing and wholeness for you dear one. In 2009 I tried not to whine. Test they did come and trials they were won.Looking back it was all in His time. Leaving behind an amazing season of studying 7 semesters of your Bible study materials, with a wonderful class of Siestas. It was God's time for me to let go..God is doing a 'new thing'. Trust and obey there is no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey. Finally I have ended 2009 fully confident I heard Him right and now just freefalling in His grace to the next level of service to my King.
So, 2010 I am running to win..the lost and the broken from sin...with my eyes on Jesus and the Holy Spirits lead, I am counting it all joy as I head for the finish line taking as many with me as will run. I am praying for all our Seistas who will find their joy complete this new year in the ONE who loves them best and that they will dance the dance of their life praising our King Jesus.
Love ,
Alta
To anonymous who doesn't know God and can't trust Him, the fact that you keep coming back to this blog is God. I pray that He continues to woo you till there is know other way to go be into His arms. He loves you so much and knows every tear you've shed this year. My year has been crazy too, I've been out of work since June, I'm a single mom with two teenagers, and if thats not scarey enough, my 15 1/2 year old received her temperary driving permit...its giving me alcers!! God has be so good to me, I understand why people like Rick Warren give 90% of their income away. When all you have is Him to hang onto its quite lovely.
I want to lift up Anonymous who is not a Believer! Siesta, I will be praying for my Father to reveal Himself to you in a very way! He is faithful when no one else in the world will be. He will never leave you nor forsake you! Praying without ceasing.....
Jan
Amen, Amen!!
Are we going to continue the memory verses? I really want to.
Thanks for all you are and do!
Mary
I have been through one of the toughest years of my life..seems like one HUGE problem after another. They have came in waves that we have endured thinking we had overcome and then another would hit and hit hard.
I have faced at 44 years old an UNdiagnosable muscle/nerve disease in my legs that has left me weak (falling)& with kidney failure on top! I have been waiting since September for a February appointment with a neuromuscular specialist in Dallas! The waiting in this whole thing has been the hardest, the not knowing but against all that I have felt the peace of God like no other! I have absolutely NO FEAR! Beth, thank you for sharing that sometimes when we feel the darkness its not the enemy but the shadow of the Almighty! Oh how I needed to hear that so!
Other waves I have faced this year: A son on drugs, a 16 year old nephew in serious, serious auto accident! My newish car being totaled by a drunk driver! The list could go on and on...BUT..this is how I survived...SCRIPTURE MEMORY..standing on God's promises and His mercy and grace! Hugging HIS WORD close to my heart and pressing it to my head!
The siestas who have memorized scripture with Beth this last year...I have to say THANK YOU for posting your scriptures! This has been SO invaluable to me! I could have never, ever made it this year without it and without reading the ones you post each time! Scripture memory is forever burned in my heart and I dont plan to stop!
I want MORE OF HIM in TWENTY-TEN!
Love ya Beth, Amanda and Melissa, all the team at LPM and all my siesta! May God richly bless you all!
2 Corinthians 2:14 (NASB)
Dear Siestas - all of you,
To those who have experienced financial crisis, job losses or job uncertainty (I'm in that boat). To those sweet siestas who have experienced betrayal or the loss of a husband, or a child. To the sweet siesta honest enough to share her doubts - and a huge desire to know and trust God, God will find you sweet one, that's his very nature..to those struggling with physical issues...I have read each and every entry today. This is a very real community of women who love and encourage each other. I love each and every one of you and I'm praying for you. Each of you. Those who have experienced Victory and those who are waiting in the cleft of the rock.
Here is my New Years prayer for all of us
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
love from
Heidi
Well said, Beth! I like you experienced a year of joy and pain and I'm now in a season of looking back and seeing God's handprint all over the details. He is faithful! Happy New Year!
Amen!!
I'm looking forward to seeing you at Passion!!
What a wonderful way to begin a new decade of life...worshipping the Lord for 4 days straight with my generation!
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