Ask Curtis
Hey Siestas! Do you have a question for Curtis? I've been thinking it would be fun to do a Q&A with him. If you want to ask him something - about men, ministry, marriage, family, the Bible, etc. - leave your question in a comment and we'll get him blogging!
posted by Amanda @ 1:47 PM
127 Comments
127 Comments:
I have a question for Curtis:
Do you do speaking engagements at other churches? I am Director of Women's Ministry and we are trying to build our Men's Ministry.
How could we get a hold of you to speak on a Saturday morning to a group of men?
Thanks and many blessings!
Roxanne
Being a mommy of 2 boys I often wonder how to grow my boys to be "mighty men" of God
We pray with them, they have a daily devotional, and we use many opportunities during the day to teach them God's truth
Howeever, is there something you remember your parents doing that really impacted you and your walk with God?
We appreciate you
This is a "man question" I've wanted to ask for some time. In everything I read about being a good wife and loving my husband the importance of sex is discussed. However my husband is just not that interested in sex. He is happy with once or twice a month. Should I be concerned that I am not appealing to him or is this just normal? He is only 40 and has no performance issues.
I do have a question - I hope its not to personal. I am a believer who is praying that my life has a marriage like yours Amanda, SOMEDAY!- So here is my Question:
How does a man perceive a strong, christian woman without feeling like she is trying to lead the relationship?
What is it like having Beth Moore as your mother-in-law? :)
Charity
I would like to know your suggestions on how I can get my husband to attend church. As his wife I do not want to nag him and force him to go. I pray that he will have a change of heart.
Curtis I have a 13 year old son that now I'm having trouble connecting with, through all his young years we were very close, then 5 years ago I had a baby boy and we've disconnected a bit and I hate it!! Him and my young boy are very close, he loves being an "older brother" and not the baby anymore (he's the middle kid 1 girl oldest and 2 boys)! I try to get close but he doesn't want to hug, or cuddle like he used to! I miss my boy and want to grow close again, without 'nagging' or 'smothering'I'm trying to find the fine line and haven't yet!!
Thank you for your resources, love the podcast too!!
What is one thing you would ask women to pray for their husbands everyday - something we might not readily think of?
Blessings.
What are you thoughts on women leaders?
And I would love to hear how you knew Amanda was the one for you.
Several men responded to Beth's question yesterday about insecurity with issues around finances--providing for their families, having enough/more, dealing with our spending, etc. In almost 20 years of marriage, through many seasons of our finances, my husband has never been secure about them. On good days, I feel guilty; on bad days, resentful. How can we, as women, lovingly respond to their insecurity and not carry the burden when, generally, it isn't warranted.
Thank you, Curtis.
Failure...why are men so afraid of it?
I've been reading all the men's comments to Beth's post and they are all afraid of failing.
Is it pride? Unbelief? Your insight would be greatly appreciated.
I would hate to think that this fear of failure would turn them into spectators in the game of life.
I struggle with knowing if a guy is really interested in me or if I am just reading into things. How can I tell?
Should I ever ask the guy what's going on if his flirting, etc. seems to be never ending?
Curtis,
I've been listening to your podcasts -- love them -- but I have this one question:
Do the people in the drive-thru windows still think you are a woman???
I kid.
My question is this: I would love for the men of our church (my man specifically) to have indepth Bible studies. I just walked up the aisles of the bookstore today and it seems there is so much for women and very little for men. Are there any plans at LPM to develop those for our men? Maybe even studies that couples could do together?
Blessings in your ministry!
Dori
Hmm, how much time do you have? :)
My question is why won't my husband step up as spiritual leader in our home? He is a Christian and attends church and knows this is what he is called to, but I am the one that always has to step up. I have tried not to, but then I feel like my children are not being raised in the faith. I pray for this daily, 8 years now, but not much has changed. Is there something I can do? I gave up nagging long ago!! :)
I'm almost 21 years old and in college. I'm not dating anyone, but what I would like to know (from a man's opinion)is what is the most attractive thing about a woman? I hear from my awesome godly guy friends all the time that it's a woman who is walking with the Lord!...and I appreciate that SO MUCH!...but what does that look like to a man? How does he notice a woman who is walking with the Lord? What stands out?
Thanks!:) I think all y'all are awesome!!!
Is it ever hard to work with mainly women in your workplace and in ministry? What are your biggest challenges here?
I'd love to hear exactly how you knew Amanda was "the one." I just love those stories!
Curtis: I hope you aren't overwhelmed by all these questions!!
Here is mine:
What bible translation would you recommend for a newer Christian man?
He has a NIV study bible that he has tried to read, but really struggles to understand. He is smart, yet also suffers from depression.
Do you think depression can make it more difficult for someone to hear the Holy Spirit?
Thank you for this opportunity!
Wow! What an opportunity!
Curtis, my question is along the same lines as comment #14 by anonymous.
Other than praying, what would be the most important things I could do as a wife to set an example or quietly encourage my husband to draw closer to God.
He attends church and small group with the family but rarely cracks open his Bible which obviously means he does little to fulfill his role as leader in our home.
Thank you so much for your input!
I would also like to know how to get my husband more involved in church. I stopped nagging years ago and am now leaving it up to God. He will go to church with me, but it would be nice if we could be more involved together.
I have been married to my husband for over 20 years. Although he attends church and says he is a believer, he never picks up his Bible or pursues a relationship with Christ as far as I can tell.
He smokes, swears, and has not been the best influence on our children. To be fair, he is very generous and has a good heart once you get through his rough exterior. Quite frankly, I don't understand him. They say women are hard to figure out but I think men are an enigma. Many women in my church have expressed similar concers regarding their husbands lack of commitment to Christ. Is it a man thing or are today's men just hard hearted? It is as if hearing the Word preached Sunday after Sunday means nothing the rest of the week. What do you think?
Curtis:
What can I do (if anything) to help my husband grow in the Word. He seems to be apprehensive about getting together with other guys only from "church". I think he thinks that he doesn't have anything in common with them. That they are somehow different from him...he seems to have developed an image of them. He will usually do the couples thing with our small group and that's great but at the same time I feel like if I am not involved he won't do something on his own. I feel like he depends on me too much in the whole Christian life and I want him to see that God wants to talk directly to him...God doesn't want me to be how HE hears from him. I know how important bible study is with a small group and I think it would be great if he would join in but it's something that he is just not comfortable with. What is it with guys anyway and their lack of desire for relationships with other guys. He really is an Alpha Male in every sense of the word and I totally love his confidence and his sense of self and who he is........Any suggestions? Thanks so much and I love that we can get some input from a guy. Lovin' your podcasts! Thanks for sharing.
In His Grip - Theresa
I have always wanted to ask a godly man this question, but I didn't have an anonymous way to do it. My husband is a wonderful committed believer. He is definitely the leader in our home. I would love for us to pray together as a couple daily. Is there a way I can instigate this habit without offending or disrespecting him? He always takes the lead and prays during our communion time or when there's a crisis or to show his support if I have something "big" going on during the day so it's not that there is a fear of praying with me or anything. I just think it's about establishing a habit. I've been afraid to just ask because I don't want to come across as nagging or like I'm trying to take the spiritual reins. (I tend to be more disciplined in other areas so it's not like I would ask once and not have to ever do it again.)Any insight from a man's perspective would be gladly received!
I do not have a question for Curtis but wanted to tell you that I have subscribed to your podcasts and have listened to 2 so far. Love them! Looking forward to more.
Forever His,
Lawan Rivera
Phil 4:8
How has the role of father to Annabeth been different than the role of father to Jackson so far? What do you already foresee as future differences in raising your daughter vs raising your son?
What do you think is the biggest obstacle in "our generation ages 20to 40 years old" especially men either attending church or openly professing their Christian faith?
I have a question ( been wanting to ask this for a while)
When do you know if you are under spiritual attack or you are just fighting life and yourself? I ask because shouldn't you know what your fighting?
Geri K
Do you spank?
What's it like being Beth Moore's son-in-law?
What's your stance on stay-at-home Dad's and working mothers?
"Did you have any hesitation marrying Amanda knowing she was Beth Moore's daughter?" (...due to her...what do I call it?...fame?...celebrity status?...etc.)
I don't mean any disrespect, I'm just wondering because not everyone can handle living in a fishbowl, and although you are marrying Amanda, you also marrying into the whole family.
Maybe another way of putting the question would be "What's it like living in a fishbowl?"
Elle B
to piggy back on the indepth bible studies for men...it would be great for chldren too. My kids need and are hungry for more than bible stories and crafts. Where can we get such stuff?
Ages 10,8,,,the 5 year old still likes the stories and crafts.:)
Hey Curtis,
How fun!
Did you sing "Amanda" by Boston to your better-half while you were courting her?
Very Sincerely,
Barbara
Curtis I have a 17 year old son who at this time in his life he wants to experience other religions. He seems to be leaning towards Muslim. Me and my other children are Non-Denomination. How should I handle this.
When you were a teenager what was your relationship like with your mom and dad? What did you want differently from each of them? I have a 14 year old and would like the perspective from a godly man of what I can do or not do to help him become a man of God.
Thank you!
Kelsey,
Maine
Dear Curtis,
It seems to me that Men's Ministry within ALL our various denominations is just not reaching/serving the men as much as various women's ministries reach/serve women. John Eldrege (Wild at Heart) made a compelling case for the tame nature of traditional men's ministries being a turn off to the God given nature of most men. Do you find this true? And if you do, what do you think can be done to create vital and nourishing men's ministry for our starving husbands?
Perhaps Curtis Jones and Keith Moore can do for men what Beth Moore,Amanda Jones, and Melissa Moore Fitzpatrick do so well for women? The MoJoFitz women lead us to Jesus and I long for the men I know to have traveling companions that they can relate to and learn from in a way that complements their nature. Thanks for your input.
Why do Christian men only want to associate with Barbie dolls?
Hey Curtis,
Nice to talk to you. You are from Springfield, native? I am from Mtn.Home, just a hop, skip and a jump. Do you have family in the area, I know your parents are in springfield still.
Nice to have someone from "home" on board.
My husband is having a spiritual crisis and he has fallen away from the church! There are many reasons (very zealous parents when he was younger spending days at church and not putting family first/christian co-workers in his field stabbing each other in the back to get ahead/etc./too many more to list) He insists he is waiting to hear from God...he wants to have a personal relationship with a living God and he wants to know God is there! He says he needs to hear from God and that alone will "fix" it!
I am desperate...we have two boys who I want to raise in the faith and at a church (we have not found a church we like since our move and he won't help me look anymore)!
The more we talk about things and I try to help him the more confused and upset I get. I need some advice!
I have been in prayer about this for some time! I have also been in prayer about other situations going on in our life...I am wondering how long do I pray about things! I have been praying about these other things for 6 years now and I have not heard from God!
Please help!
Siesta's
thank you for your prayers for me on Friday.
I am feeling much better thank you again.
PORNOGRAPHY: What's the draw!??! Seriously.
My husband struggles so much with this battle. Can you offer insight, advice, etc.? Thanks so much.
Curtis:
Hey, I can't get the podcast thing going on my computer....of course not computer smart could be the problem....daugh
Can you help me out here? How can I lsiten to your lessons on the computer.
p.s. my brother's name was curtis, this is sooo weird.
Becky
Curtis:
I have two sons age 20 and 13.
can you suggest some Bible studes for them?
Example: we ladis have Beth and others as our mentor/teacher.
who do you have?
RS
Hi Curtis,
so nice that we get to ask you things? My question is not as deep as everyone else's but I am curious as to what version or study bible you would recommend to women?
thank you for taking the time for the siestas
blessings
What is the best way to encourage the spiritual growth of my husband without being pushy? He is a believer, but it is sometimes hard not to think he is only half-connected to the Vine (aren't most of us, really...). And I don't want to be critical of him! I think a lot of it has to do with our differences as male and female. Women tend to be more "feelers" than "doers". As a "doer," I'm afraid he relies a lot on himself to forge on in life and not as much on the power of the God we follow. How do I reconcile our different personalities?
Prayer, obviously...
Any other thoughts from a male point of view?
Thanks!
Why do guys seem to "get over" us so much quicker than us girls get over them?
How has being a Christian dad impacted how you see God as your Father? Do you see Him in a whole new light? Or is He the same to you as He's always been in your faith?
We have a small church whose women have gifted, organized, humble leaders ready to step up and organize a women's ministry so they feel connected, enouraged, and in touch with each other regularly. However, the pastors at our church aren't ready for us to form a "womens ministry". From a male perspective, can you give a guess as to why they're hesitant? I don't get it.
What's the one practical thing you wish women would do more of and then the one practical thing you wish we would do less of?
Richest of blessings to you,
Gretchen
Siesta OC GREAT question!!!
Also, Why are men so bad with communication? Is that the universal question???
How do you really know that he is the one for you? I've been through a divorce and pray that I would someday have a 2nd chance at love. But, how do you really know? I did not ask for my divorce. I did all I could to try and save my marriage. Thanks Curtis!
Much love and blessings!
I was reading the comments and questions and saw one posted by another "anonymous"; on May 19 at 4:12pm (central time). It is about her "man question" and regarding her husband's desire for sex. My husband's desires in this area seem to be exactly what she wrote. I read this question and thought she had read the very question on my mind! My husband is younger than hers, and we have had much of God's healing and honesty in our marriage already. I have wondered in the past if this has had to do with sexual strongholds in his life but after much discussion and communication and healing and God working MIGHTILY is us BOTH, this does not seem to be on the list at this point. It is very hard for me because this uncertainty causes me to struggle with wondering about his desire for me.
Dear Curtis,
How can I get my husband to stop being so insecure?
He thinks that every time I even talk to a man, there is "something up." Even when I talk to a married man.
I have never done anything to give him any reason to think I'd be unfaithful to him-- I love my husband very much. And I don't mind that he has women friends.
I have tried to reassure him, I try to show him I love him, I have talked to him but he just gets mad, etc. I can't ask him questions about this-- he gets angry & upset and says he's doing nothing wrong.
So what can I do to help him?
What can I do to 1)get my husband to grow up and 2)help him feel more loved?
Hi Curtis,
I have a question about the Bible.
David practicing polygamy really bothers me. I understand it more with Jacob (consequences of his own "trickster" traits & it was pre-Mosaic law). But I don't know if David practiced polygamy purely because it was readily accepted in the culture (especially in royal circles) or if it was just a sinful choice that no one talks about. It seems to me it's in direct violation of Gen 2:24 "one flesh"--not one flesh here, one flesh a few years later with someone else, etc.
Thanks for your insight! I know it's an off-the-wall question. I hope I can clear this up before I lead the ATR study in a couple of weeks.
Stefani
I've noticed that many young men of high school and college age seem to be in a role reversal. By that I mean that they tend to let girls dominate them during a dating relationship and then grovel for months after the girls break up with them. Do you notice that and if so, how can we encourage our sons and daughters in the dating years in their respective roles?
Thank you,
Linda
Hey Curtis - Do you like fishing? And, if so, what's the coolest (size, species, tastiest, best trip - whatever) fish you've ever caught?
We're getting our lines, rods, reels, boots and nets ready up yonder.
Just curious,
Warm in Alaska.
After reading through the prior comments, I just want to say how helpful this blog has been to me. I see reocurring themes quite often when we gals comment about what we're going through or struggling with, and while it's sad to think we are all sharing the same struggles, it definitely helps me not feel so bad about myself knowing there are others going through what I'm going through.
As for my question for Curtis, I just want to know in what form will he respond? :) Via podcast or one big post or random comment responses? :) Thanks for taking the time to respond!!
well amanda,
you really openned up a can of worms -- didn't you! :) i love it! This is great! I don't have a question though because any question i might have had has been covered -- well i just thought of another. how would be the best way to reach out to a father? he is a good man, but rarely goes to church. my mom would really like him to like to go, but he doesn't. even growing up we would attend sunday school as a family, but usually not church. communion always made him nervous for some reason -- going down to the front i guess. we were raised methodist, so it wasn't like it was an every sunday event. i bought him a Bible one time -- not sure if he reads it or not. i just don't know if he has ever prayed the prayer of salvation though i am sure he prays at least occasionally. i want to see him in heaven -- what is the best - least offensive way to approach him. my husband is like many of the others - goes to church, prays, will pray with me if i ask, but never opens his Bible (so looking forward to your answer to others' question on that). i say this to say i don't think he would be comfortable approaching my dad, but my sister's husband who is in the word and close to my dad might. should i go that route. can't wait to hear your perspective. i have found other times you have blogged to be truly insightful!
thanks!
How do you think men deal with shame?
What's the best think your mother-in-law has ever done for you?
My husband is a wonderful man, a respected spiritual leader in our church and I love him very much. Six years ago he had an extramarital affair. We'd only been married 6 years. Although we talked it through and went to a weekend-long marriage conference together, we jointly agreed against seeking professional counseling. I have forgiven him and have never brought it up since. It was heartbreakingly hard on me, but God has been faithful to heal. Even though I felt like I had failed as a wife somehow for my husband to seek comfort somewhere else, he insisted that was not the case. Now 6 years later, some inner warning light in me has begun flashing again that he may be having another affair. I'm a forgiving person and want to honor my husband. We jointly decided to remove "divorce" from the table when we got married 12 years ago. But I honestly don't know what to do if this renewed warning light turns out to be true again. A godly marriage cannot be a revolving door. As a man, can you offer insight on how I should respectfully approach my husband?
What is your favorite book of the Bible? What is your favorite devotional?
My husband shows me no attention or affection and does the same with our sons. He says he is a Christian, but has never stepped up to be the spiritual leader of the family. He does not read the Bible nor does he pray (that I am aware). I am concerned for what examples and messages this is sending our sons. How will they treat their wives and children when they are grown? Will they be the spiritual leaders in their homes? Etc. What can "I" do and say to help place them on the right path?
my husband and i have trouble communicating sometimes. we have arguements that don't seem to ever get truly resolved. i think it is a lack of really understanding the other person even though we really try. he says that i don't respect him, although i really do. i verbally encourage him and tell him how proud of him i am often -- and i really mean it. he doesn't take compliments well at ALL, but i still do it because i have got to believe he really does appreciate it deep down.
on the other hand - i stay at home with our kids and try to maintain things on this end and i don't feel he respects me or appreciates anything i do. it seems he only has negative comments when he sees something he doesn't like. otherwise if things look good or right or whatever he rarely says anything. (and to be honest if he does i kind of resent him at this point because i feel patronized.) when i get upset about this and go to him to try to communicate with him about it, it always seems like he turns things around and trys to point out how he believes i don't respect him. so we never seem to resolve anything. in addition, in an arguement he always seems to list all the things he has done to help out, but never recognizes anything i have done. i never list my "deeds" because i think that is silly. i guess a good dose of christian counselling might be good for us, but i am a little scared of that for some reason. it really makes me upset just thinking about it, and i know he would be upset about having to go even though he would go -- he would resent having to pay for it.
this makes our relationship sound horrible -- it really isn't - just some kinks and maybe a little mars vs venus. i just can't seem to understand him and i guess he can't seem to understand me either. as hard as i try to communicate, words just don't seem to do the job. and if he isn't listing his deeds or pointing out how he doesn't think i respect him he just withdraws. i am always the one that either brings something up or drags it out of him -- which i usually regret.
sorry so long! thanks in advance.
Curtis,
Have you read the controversial book "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young?
What did you think?
okay, here goes.
when we got married 9 years ago i was a virgin and he was not. although he is faithful to me, he is not really interested in sex. he says he really just doesn't think about it much. i also don't think he knows how to approach me for sex. i guess it is like you are dating and you not going there, not going there and then you get married and all of a sudden it's time to go there. this may be too much for the blog. if so i am sorry. i have just always felt so inadequate in this area. i have no experience up until marriage, he does, but he isn't interested. we do have 3 young kids so that can make time difficult, but it has really always been like this. i have approached him about this, but i never get anywhere. he said he would get his testoterone -- however you spell that-- tested, but i feel bad pushing that. i like sex and feel like i am missing out, plus i feel alot closer to him in the few times it has been more regular. just so i don't sound nuts, we have averaged less than 6 times a year. your insight would be helpful. i think he allows his thoughts to always go to providing for the family, his job, college tuition -- in the far future, cars for the kids, etc and he can't seem to think about anything else. having said all this i will take this anyday over a nagging sexaholic husband. i love my husband i just wish things could be better in this specific area of our marriage.
thanks in advance for your advice and again sorry if this is too much for the blog. i have just always been too embarrassed to even bring this up with my sister or a girl friend.
What did your parents do right in raising a godly man? I am a first generation Christian, with no godly parental examples. I have 2 sons and 1 daughter, and always fear I am not doing something I should be, because I just don't know about it.
Hey Curtis:
Praying for you buddy...bet you are feeling like you need one of your father-in-law's moon pies right about now.
I grew up with three older brothers, all of whom love Jesus dearly - but I am laughing out loud at the conversations that we would be having if they were faced with the questions that your beloved Amanda just opened you up for with this blog post!
No pressure...Praying for you bud
: )
Shawna
Shawna
Just wanted to say hello. I think any and all ?'s I can think of have been asked. Can't wait to read your reply.
I would love for my husband to be more of a leader in our home. I love and respect him, but I do feel like he has let that area slide. HOW do I encourage him to be the head of the household when he doesn't really seem to want to be, (without making him feel like he's failed)?
Single girl here, so I will ask a normal single girl question:
How do we, as girls, guard our heart, but at the same time let a guy know we're interested without pursuing him too much? How much do men really want to pursue? Every little detail?
Where are the godly men these days? They seem very few and far between. Want to hook a Houston siesta up? Haha!
I'm not in this situation at the moment, but could always use some future wisdom. It's just so stinkin' confusing.
Also, thanks for being a Godly example for us single girls and what we can look for in a husband. It's nice to have a high standard!
Lindsee
My husband and I have different idea of what our church should look like. How do I honor where he feels God is calling us to attend without compromising where I feel God is calling us.
Hi Curtis...I have a question. The church I attend now has a very active women's ministry but the men's ministry is not active at all. I know this could be unhealthy so could you give me some ideas that would be encouraging for the men to start taking a more active role in the church?
Is there any man left who isn't an absolute slave to internet porn and lust? I've certainly jettisoned one Christian fiance over that, and recently two (what we all thought were) God-fearing, Christlike, old old friends (and missionaries!) are finally divorcing after one hellish decade of marriage, child molestation being the final straw. From my stand point the situation has shot way beyond hopeless in the Christian world. In fact moreso with Christian men than with non-Christian men, because of the fact that they hide it, making them exponentially more dangerous than guys who don't hide it. It seems at this point that women would be better off finding some new man-free planet and slowly dying out. I would rather die painfully than end up with a porn addict. You're an insider, C, are there any men left whose virtue has consistently stood the test? What do you think the ratio is among Christian men?
How do you get your Husband to quit looking at porn and not wanting to have sex with you ? How long do I continue to pray with out consulting a divorce lawyer?
Curtis- my husband grinned at me last night and said, "there's a fine line between encouraging and nagging". What's the best way to encourage a man... to read his Bible, to take care of himself physically, etc? I care about him so much that my 'passionate plea' makes him want to do the opposite. Why is that?
Other people have asked cool questions and I look forward to hearing from Curtis! I just wanted to tell him "hi" and "welcome!"
I, too, would like to touch on the issue of pornography, but maybe not from the typical angle...
My husband, too, struggles, and has since before we met, I've learned in time. We had a very rough patch last year that resulted in my consulting a lawyer after months and months of deceit, half-truths about "getting over it", etc. Thankfully, the Lord restored our marriage and has brought our family closer together. We saw Fireproof as a couple earlier this year, which felt, to me, like it was written about our very situation. We had begun praying that, in God's timing, our family would grow, and after our "Fireproof breakthrough" as it's called at our house, I found out I was pregnant with our second child.
My angle/question is something like this: How can I, as a woman, put the insecure feelings aside and learn to fully trust my husband again? I want so badly to know that those demons are behind us, and most days, I do, but there are insecure days where I see the computer lying around and am compelled to check the history "just to be sure..." We were mentored by a friend and staff member at church who gave me "the talk" that said that none of this was about me- it was about sin and Satan using something horrible to attack my family, but as a woman, I must say that I find that extremely difficult to process. It had to be about me at some point- something I did or didn't do made the temptation or thought a reality. I say this knowing that I CANNOT be the only woman out there that stuggles with feelings of insecurity as a result of this horrible act that has so shaken our society.
Understanding that much of what has been discussed here is personal and must be dealt with between me and my Father, who sees me as the Princess He created and nothing less, I would greatly appreciate any thoughts from the male perspective on this issue. I think it's "hot-button" enough to reach many women who feel the same way. Beth's insecurities study will surely answer some of the same, but a male perspective could help, too.
Thank you for opening your heart and soul to us as you prayerfully answer and discern your words. You are in my prayers!
My son is 19 yrs old and he's been raised in a Christian home and in church.
He's wandered. Main problems (that we know of) is cigarette & pornography.
He was saved at 9 yrs old and says he's rededicated his life to Christ but I don't see the fruit of it.
Suggestions???
What are your thoughts on birth control, as well as, the arguments of God controlling the womb vs. financial ability to take care of the children one procreated?
wow! Are there enough questions for you? Well, here's one more.
What do we wives/girlfriends do about husbands/boyfriends who are online gamers ( Halo, WOW etc.)
Is there evil there? They just don't see it.
Why are Christian men so afraid to pursue a Godly woman? Me and my friends love Jesus and are attractive if I do say so myself. But Christian guys can't or won't pursue. They expect us to or they pursue through text messages and facebook. It's weird and I don't understand it :)
Curtis,
I am a new bride and just before I got married, a friend gave me the book, For Women Only. I found most of it helpful, but one chapter talked about how men literally have a catalog of images in their head of women they see / have seen recently and if their mind isn't controlled, they will refer back to those images multiple times a day. This has literally captivated me in thinking my new husband is thinking of other women rather than me although he assures me he is not and I always see him make the effort not to look at anything he shouldnt. So, I'm not sure what I'm asking- is it true that men have this "catalog"...how can I help my husband, and how can I be assured?!
I am not married but am in my late 30's and seriously dating a man. He has an issue that I make more money than he does... I get the feeling he would like me to get another career so this won't be an issue. Why is this such a problem?
Hi Cutis,
I'm wondering what you think would be the best way for a wife to encourage her husband spiritually in a way that doesn't seem preachy, disrespectful, or naggy. How do you like to be encouraged in the Lord by your wife?
Thank you for your ministry to all of us through LPM!
Lacey
I love "We Long for You" Did you write it? If so what inspired you?
It's one of my favorite songs & everytime I listen to it, I'm encouraged.
Do you and Colin ever talk about what it's like being part of the Moore family? Was it scarry meeting Keith Moore for the first time?
Is there anything I can do to get my son (he's 13) interested in getting back involved with his youth group at church? His Daddy doesn't like to go to church anymore so now he just wants to stay home with him. It really disturbs me that he is just dropping out of church like this.
Thanks! God Bless!
Ok Curtis -
Is Texas really that HOT?
How (w/out getting too personal)does your day go with your family? Do you always have morning time with God, or do you spend time with God at another time?
Lastly, how did your parents encourage you in the faith?
My husband has been struggling with depression for some time. Part of it stems from our ministry which has been struggling. We are recent transplants to this area, and he has not connected with any men from our church due to work obligations. I don't know how to help him. I feel like if I say anything it comes across as nagging at best, disappointment at worst. I'm not disappointed in him at all. I just want to see him happy again. Any suggestions on how to help?
Hi Curtis,
My sweet daughter and her wonderful husband are expecting their first child (a little boy!) any day. As parents-in-law what can we do to support this new dad? We have done plenty for the mom-to-be but not much for Dad. What have Beth and Keith done for you (and Amanda) that brings you the most help and joy with your children? We are nine hours away so have to do things long distance.
Thanks a bunch. God bless!
I don't have a specific question, but after reading some of these, I'd LOVE to be in on the answers!
Hilda in Houston
I second this question:
Why are Christian men so afraid to pursue a Godly woman? Me and my friends love Jesus and are attractive if I do say so myself. But Christian guys can't or won't pursue. They expect us to or they pursue through text messages and facebook. It's weird and I don't understand it :)
Curtis-
I was fascinated when I read that one of your responsibilities at LPM is "cultural research assistant" - what does that mean exactly?
Also, who are your favorite Bible teachers, theologians and commentators?
Thanks!
Hi Curtis,
Thank you so much for being willing to answer a few questions. My church is blessed with a wonderful Senior Pastor and Youth Pastor. They both have young families and I often wonder how I could bless them. What would be a gift that a minister and his family would really appreciate? A night of free babysitting, a gift certificate for dining out?
Thanks for much
Thanks for this opportunity to ask.
Whenever I bring up a spiritual topic, try to discuss something I have learned or read, my husband immediately starts telling me why that is so and what he thinks about it, in a word, lecturing, even before I am done explaining. We just do not seem to be able to discuss things. Why?
Thank you!
What do husbands need/want from their wives, i.e. respect, etc, more than anything else? Also, what do we as wives do when the husband is not living up to his leadership potential and role in the home???? How can we encourage you to do that (besides nagging of course). :) I so want to honor my husband and he is a wonderful Christian man but it is hard when he doesn't "step up". There is nothing like hearing your husband say your name when talking to the Father in prayer. Awesome, but unfortunately doesn't happen often enough. How can I encourage prayer time/devotional time together as a couple without sounding threatening?
Hi Curtis,
Why do men feel threatened when their wives become more spiritually aware of things than they are?
How can we convey spiritual thoughts without making them feel less than in charge?
Do you think women assess spiritual maturity based on what we perceive as such, and really men will live that out differently than we might expect?
Thanks much!
My gracious. What a load of questions we've managed to send your way! I guess we need you to write a book: The Siesta's Guide to Understanding Men in General and Their Husbands In Particular by Curtis Jones.
I'll buy a copy or two.
(Smiling - but I really will pray that you'll have wisdom to address some of these concerns, too).
Warm in Alaska.
Yea!!! It will be great to hear from Curtis.
Tell us about how you knew you were called to ministry. I love hearing how God works in people's lives!
Sister Lynn
How can I encourage my husband to be the spiritual leader of our home, without making him feel that I don't think he is?
Thnkyou
Susan
England,U.K.
These are great questions!! Looking forward to hearing the answers!
WOW! Curtis, after reading all the questions, I fear you must feel like Niagra Falls has just hit you...such needs and so many sincere and seeking hearts out there. Praying that God give you the wisdom you need so that that which is helpful for building our Siesta's up according to their needs may benefit all who listen in.
You are one brave man to attempt this! LOL!
So Cal. Siesta,
Pam H.><>
Does it seem difficult as men to think of yourselves as the "bride of Christ"? As a woman, it seems easy to submit to God and to think of myself as a bride but I've always wondered if men are bothered - and therefore distance themselves from church or God or religious conversations - because the bridegroom/bride descriptions are hard to wrap your mind around.
Curtis, do you wish sometimes that we hadn't opened this can-o-worms all over you? You must feel overwhelmed after reading some of the pain and deep wounds that are out here in blog land.
I'll be praying for you.
Hi Curtis,
I have two beautiful boys that the Lord has entrusted me with.
So I look forward to hearing your answers. God Bless!
I also ache for my husband to stand up and take on the role of spiritual leader in our home. How does a Godly woman step out in leadership if her husband sits on the sidelines?
And any insight on what is up with all those video games?? I'll admit, I've prayed for God to destroy the lab top a time or two!
Please write a Bible Study for men. One for all ages, my husband is 50 years old and the Word is still not interesting to him, though he does try. Please write something.
As believers, how can the evangelical church equip families to work together as a whole to make a difference in our culture.
We are very individualistic. Yet the letters and Gospels where written to the church as a body of believers, not just individuals. However, many of us read the Word as only a letter to me. My relationship with God. While the Church is made of many I's, the New Testament is about not only the purpose of Christ's death, but His purpose after the Resurrection, establishing Churches and leaders. Leaders in the family, Missions, etc. This was the purpose of sending the Apostles out. The church I attend is going through a study by Jeff Reed called the First Principles of Disciplned Living. The purpose is to re-look (is that a word)at what our role is according to Scripture in our Community and training leaders. We have discussed Habits of the Heart, Mission of the Church, Family Habits. It is the how do we impliment the precepts? How as a father and a husband do you work out in your family, habits, even now, to train and lead your family in their role in the church as a whole, not just in your home?
Curtis,
I just want to reiterate what all of my sweet siestas are saying. I asked you a light question b/c I could already tell that my questions would be answered through other women. I did really want to ask you about the song just to be goofy. Anyhow, it's clear we are all dealing with many of the same issues. I look forward to reading your answers and I truly appreciate your ministry to us!
Barbara Shrewsbury
Katy, Texas
I met my husband at church in the Singles. We have been married for 6 years and when we were dating he seemed really on fire for the Lord. Then, when we got married that passion seemed to die. The first year of marriage I would "try to hold him accountable". BAD IDEA because he is a huge renegade.
My daughter said in the car today (4 yrs old) "Mommy, daddy never reads his bible. He is always on the phone, computer, or watching the news." It broke my heart but she nailed it. He is so distracted with lesser things. After our first year of marriage I quit asking him about anything regarding his walk with Christ.
I even used to get so consumed praying about it that I would take the focus off of my walk and be a little prideful...so I err on the side of not praying as much for him either in that area. It seems none of my praying in the past seemed to change anything. I was chalking it up to the individual will and the fact that God is not going to make him spend time with Him.
Any thoughts?
Another serious question...so many women I know, including myself are married to a man that does not desire sex. I have prayed every prayer under the sun asking God to give me wisdom and reveal anything I needed to know and after years...no revelation.
Then, I noticed that this really seems to be a trend and women feel so isolated because all they ever hear about is the man wanting to have sex and why does their man not want to??
Curtis, I am not married nor do I have sons, but I have several Guys that feel like sons to me. Guys that I have taught in Sunday school and still mentor.
I agree with so many of the ladies that they need a Bible study. A Bible study for men like Beth's for Women. Please pray about LPM doing this. Our Men need this!!
Thanks for all that you do! LPM is a blessing to me! Shawn, Georgia
I'm asking why does Christian Men act like unsaved Men. If my Marriage doesn't work I'm living with an unsaved man now. I've told the Lord I don't want another Man. Some of the Christian Men I've seen I'd rather be lonely.
Curtis,
My question is a different from many of the others here. God is bringing to light in many of our congregations eyes that the lead shepard (senior pastor) is also the lion in waiting (1 Peter 5) or the "emperor who has no clothes." I am praying for the spiritual warfare to be relieved further, so that Christ can bring healing and wholeness can come to our congregation. I know I must have patience and that Christ will deal with in his own time. Many of church leaders are deeply troubled by this situation and are in a great deal of emotional pain. As a pastor, what insight can you offer me on how to pray?
Thank you for this opportunity to ask questions.
Blessings,
Mary Ann, Woodbury, MN
My husband is in a small group Bible Study. He has mentioned looking for a study with DVDs to accompany it. Do you have any suggestions/recommendations?
Thank you!
what is the main thing you think a marriage needs to work and last for all time?
I'm 35 with 3 kids (4 yr old twin boys and a 6 yr old little girl). I had to leave their dad 3 years ago due to abuse. Do you think Christian men today consider me as a possiblity? Are guys really that scared of having step kids?
Wow Amanda didn't realize what she stepped you into! I would like to read your responses! :0)
I had some questions but they were asked already. Plus God helped me come to this conclusion with my questions. So I would like to help you a little...I have been married 20 years. since I was 16 & he 18 (non Believers for 7-him years in our marriage & 14-me) He left me and my five children for almost 2 years. This was after he got his "Godly Wife" he prayed so long to have. I literally in my ignorance & being a newborn Christian asked some of these questions of him!! Crazy huh!? That is why he left me. Partly anyway. He has been home now 2 years. God is good at restoration but it takes obedience from both parties. More from one in the beginning (husbands will come to God's submission eventually).
I had always wondered what kind of man Beth was married to. Because she is such an awesome Teacher. I often wondered if she was the spiritual leader in teaching her children. I wasn't sure how to do this, since my husband doesn't lead. I do it though, with God leading every step & word. I have been learning how to be a better wife, mother & daughter of Christ through Beth & others for years now.
I answered my own questions & can help answer some of these woman's questions by simply saying "be still & let Got work in our Men". LITERALLY. Don't set a time table for our husbands. I have been waiting along time to see the fruit of me shutting up (obedience) & just loving him with God's truth. Studying Gods Word, praying God Word over him & our children. Most importantly changing myself first. I still, after being saved for 6 years have yet to have my husband pray with me, have him be more spiritual, read his Bible more & spiritually lead our family. Oh and communication! Talk about Mars & Venus, we still have that happen too. But God in his patience & mercy with us women sends us to places like this, a Blog to find help. Remember everyone it is God who is in control not us. Not our timetable, anxiety, insecurity, impatience, wants, or our control. It takes more than anyone can imagine to let go & let God. WE can do it!! Watch God move those mountains in our Marriages!! Patience lovely Ladies! Our patience & confidence is found in Christ.
Although I do see God moving in our marriage. May be not entirely in ways I want or even in ways God commands. None the less my husband is growing, more importantly WE are growing.
Feel free to edit!
First I thought I don't know what I would ask him, but then it donned on me :) I didn't read through all of the questions to know if this was asked already.
What is your favorite thing about your wife?
Who intimidated you more when you and Amanda first started dating - Beth or Keith? :)
It makes me sooo sad to read how many women are desperate for their husbands to be leaders of their homes and to have a close relationship w/Christ ! I have been blessed for many of my 30yrs of marriage in this area, but I also have seen how hard this has been for my husband at times.
Curtis thanks for keeping it real in your role as an example for Christ.
What are you thoughts on women leaders in the church? Deacons and ministers particularly
Dear Curtis,
I hope you volunteered to do this before your sweet wife did it for you!!
I would appreciate your manly insight on ways to engage men in conversation about their professional work for more than a perfunctory minute or two. What else do guys like to talk about with women on dates?
I'm with Lindsee Lou on her questions and comments. To add to that - you know Houston, so where would you recommend Christian single women meet Christian single men (in addition to church and Christian groups)?
Did you lead Breakthrough in CS? I was in grad school there at I think the same time but didn't know of it. At the time, I lived in a house on the street (Ash) behind the center with the B&N and drove by the office that moved in after I'd been there a couple of years. So, (whew) when were you there?
Lynnette in Houston
HI all
I have struggled as a Christian to remain in constant connection with God. I often hear others saying 'God told me this or that' in a very clearly fashion? How do I differentiate the voice in my head from that of God's.
Also, any suggestions on how to stay on track and not stray. It's like I take one step forward and 10 steps back. I am not living in any known sin life but my prayer life and bible study suffer.
Thank you.
There were some awesome questions on this blog. Are you going to answer them via the blog because I would love to hear answers!!!
Thanks
Hey Curtis!:)
Okay, thinking...
How did you come to know the Lord?
When did you know that seminary is where you needed to go?
What kind of couples studies do you reccomend?
What is your favorite parenting book? (other than the BIBLE:):)
How can women most effectively pray for their husbands? What should they pray for the most?
Thanks!
katiegfromtennessee
Curtis - I'm praying for you.
As I read the question on how to help your husband grow spiritually, I just had to comment. Curtis said, Make sure that your vision of a spiritual leader is not too narrow. Mine was until one night when my husband showed his spirituality like no other. Our 18 year old son had died that morning in a motorcycle accident. It was time to go to bed and our 3 girls just stared. They were so frightened and didn't want to go to their lonely rooms. My broken-hearted husband got our camping equipment out and made a huge bed on the floor for those girls in our room and they slept there until they were ready to go back to their own rooms. But that wasn't the only thing. When we got into bed and were all dying from the pain, he said, "Let's pray" and he started his prayer with, "Thank you Lord for taking us through this day." and then he went on with prayer for God's help and comfort. I always saw myself as the "spritual" one because I did all the Bible studies and such, but I don't know if I could have prayed that prayer and what I saw that night was true spirituality and I loved him more at that moment than ever before. Never underestimate your man!
Kathy...wow.
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