Saved from the Drafts

This morning I noticed that our blog dashboard said we had 500 posts. 500 posts? A lot has been said on this here blog, y'all! I felt that we needed to celebrate this momentous occasion, but then I realized that the number included a bunch drafts that were never published. So we're really on post 479. I started going through the drafts and deleting them when I found a few that were almost finished but were never used for whatever reason. Here's one I wrote in October of 2007. We got to go back and visit our old church last weekend, so it's only fitting for me to post this today in honor of our friends at First Baptist Church of Irving.

Twenty-eight. Twenty years past 8. Ten years past 18. Two years before 30. This Sunday I will turn 28. It's a nice number. I like round ones. It's nicely divisible by 7, which is the Lord's number. I can deal with that.

I'm very aware that this body of mine is also turning 28. Maybe it's all in my head, but it seems like things are suddenly not working as well as they should. I'm having to take my workouts up a notch. Last week I had a bad crick in my neck. And this week I have my first toothache. I will be sitting in a dentist's chair in about two hours. Dern. Happy birthday, 28-year-old self!

The thing is, I'm trying real hard not to say and think, "I'm getting so old!" "Old" is relative. I know I'm still young. If I see myself as old now, then I will always feel old! It's sort of like how most of us wish we could go back and tell our teenage selves to quit thinking they're fat. Because now we would be thrilled to have those bodies back!

Last weekend I joined the ladies of my church at our women's retreat. Our theme for the weekend was renewal. We were incredibly blessed to have our pastor's mother, V. Beth Durham, speak to us. I was blown away by her wisdom, her knowledge of the Word, and her inner and outer beauty. She is a jewel. During one of the sessions I sat a few rows behind a wonderful senior lady in our church, Mrs. Shirley Brady. I could write a whole post on how much Curt and I love her and look up to her in Christ. With both of these precious saints in sight, I was deeply moved by their beauty. By their lifetime of faith and perseverance. Oh, to be found in Christ in my seasoned years! To have walked with Him for a lifetime. To have been changed from glory to glory. To have journeyed with Him through sixty, seventy, or eighty years of refining. To know Christ that much more intimately. Lord, I want to be that beautiful to You! I want to keep growing.

You know what? I have to walk forward to get there. I can't stay in my twenties. Obviously, I don't know how long God has given me to live on this earth. But as long as I'm here, I want to walk forward with joy.

I got a glimpse of how beautiful my older sisters are to Christ, and I want Him to find that in me, too. What if, instead of desperately wanting to figure out how I can make Katie Holmes' haircut work on my hair (which is like a horse's mane), I eagerly asked God to develop in me the gentle spirit and wisdom of V. Beth Durham, and the joy and kindness of Mrs. Shirley Brady? Forget about Katie Holmes. When those sisters come walking down the hall, they make Jesus' head turn!

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful" (1 Peter 3:3-5a).

This was our verse for the weekend: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day" (2 Corinthians 4:16).

(Here you can see why that post sat in the drafts folder so long. It didn't have a good ending!)